Welp, that's me done!

I'm ok. I'm solid. We need more videos of big losses.
I'm ok
what you probably need, is to stay out of the forum altogether
big wins or big losses - it's still all gambling
an alcoholic doesnt go into the bar and think, I've got it - I'll only watch the people NOT having fun
 
I'm ok. I'm solid. We need more videos of big losses.
I'm ok

good man, we know it's not easy, some of us are half way down the same road you're on, you're just further ahead than us. We've got to face the same pangs and withdrawal symptoms.

There isn't enough losing vids on youtube, dazza's old rhino catalogue was wiped by the youtube plonkers, that would have helped to keep you on the straight and narrow.
 
Watching dazzag nonchalantly WD another huge win from Bonanza almost made me lose it and pull the full $127,815.23 out of my savings, he's complaining about losing $100 not five minutes after pulling $7k. Feed your God damn cat. God damn it I hadn't taken drugs in probably two years and now that I'm not gambling I have to worry about that again? Aggggh
 
what you probably need, is to stay out of the forum altogether
big wins or big losses - it's still all gambling
an alcoholic doesnt go into the bar and think, I've got it - I'll only watch the people NOT having fun
You may be right, although I hadn't watched any videos until now aside from when I was in full blown gambling mode.

I think there's some use in the forum, I almost blew it tonight, and if not for a post here...
 
Watching dazzag nonchalantly WD another huge win from Bonanza almost made me lose it and pull the full $127,815.23 out of my savings, he's complaining about losing $100 not five minutes after pulling $7k. Feed your God damn cat. God damn it I hadn't taken drugs in probably two years and now that I'm not gambling I have to worry about that again? Aggggh

whatever you do, don't watch dazza's bonanza vids :) :thumbsup: you need some more Schadenfreude type ones, they're getting as rare as gold dust these days just when a lot of 'normal' players are getting roasted by the high variance games
 
You may be right, although I hadn't watched any videos until now aside from when I was in full blown gambling mode.

I think there's some use in the forum, I almost blew it tonight, and if not for a post here...
members here can be great, but its a bandaid at best - there's no guarantees members will be in or see a post or respond - you need to find ways to turn it aside without coming into the forum; the fact you have access to that much funds suggests you might want to take measure to NOT HAVE that kind of access and I'm sure banks can help you out there with max daily WDs, in-branch WDs only, co-signed accts etc.

if youre on that much a hair trigger it would behoove you to take larger steps in protecting yours - and your family's - interests
 
members here can be great, but its a bandaid at best - there's no guarantees members will be in or see a post or respond - you need to find ways to turn it aside without coming into the forum; the fact you have access to that much funds suggests you might want to take measure to NOT HAVE that kind of access and I'm sure banks can help you out there with max daily WDs, in-branch WDs only, co-signed accts etc.

if youre on that much a hair trigger it would behoove you to take larger steps in protecting yours - and your family's - interests
To clarify, it would take me two days minimum to access those funds. The money available to me immediately is far less. I do have a number of safe guards in place and even if I'd withdrawn the entire savings account it would take almost a month to deposit and lose it all due to daily withdrawal limits.

Not that I'm going to.
 
You may be right, although I hadn't watched any videos until now aside from when I was in full blown gambling mode.

I think there's some use in the forum, I almost blew it tonight, and if not for a post here...

why don't you take up reading in the evening, something that can grab your attention, that you'll want to spend time on. If you enjoyed making things, you could get some model airplanes or lego, mecanno, that sort of thing, and when your child gets a bit older they can play with it, so could be money well spent.
 
Watching dazzag nonchalantly WD another huge win from Bonanza almost made me lose it and pull the full $127,815.23 out of my savings, he's complaining about losing $100 not five minutes after pulling $7k. Feed your God damn cat. God damn it I hadn't taken drugs in probably two years and now that I'm not gambling I have to worry about that again? Aggggh


Yeah, the 7K was a total exception to what happened before. I lost about 24k in 2017, 2.5k in 2018 and am marginally up in 2019. I find my losses are relative to my play. I am saving to buy a second house outright so am reluctant to waste much making YT videos now. You must also appreciate I have had 2-4 losing videos between a lot of the Bonanza winning ones.

I'd like to play more but don't for a few reasons:

1. Primarily, I HATE losing, even 50 quid, irrespective of how much I could actually afford to spunk. The 24k lost in 2017 really pissed me off, although it was over a whole year and hundreds of sessions plus on a monthly basis I didn't really notice it - when I did my accounts that following April I was shocked at how much it all came to and annoyed with myself because I like to keep perspective on things. Just a couple of years before I had to go out and work for not much more than 2k a month in my arse pocket and it upset me at how detached I had become from reality. Not as detached as the streamers taking in and equally spunking far more it seems. It'll catch up with them all in the end. markmiwurdz….

2018 was subsidized by the insane run I had on Bonanza at Casumo - alas those videos were all killed in the YT purge last year and I actually deposited MORE in 2018 than in 2017 when I had the 24k net losses!

2. Work - I have my fingers in a lot of pies and it's hard to make 4-6 hours nowadays for playing and videoing.

3. Boredom - I spend ages reviewing and playing demo games, 90% of which are utter shite. My eyes glaze over, my mind goes blank and I just want to do something else more constructive.

4. Motive - I don't need to win money on slots, any more than I need to lose money on them.

I have also gotten to 'know' BTG slots and what to expect long term from repeated play. Over time they take a lot fewer net losses for the same amount of deposits than that bastard Rhino and Twin Spin did! I'm not sure why, it must be the med-long term volatility given that the RTP's are broadly the same, but I definitely get more playtime and fun for my dollar. That's why when I do play nowadays I stick to them, not losing discipline and chucking it to the Rapist or other money-suckers.

You mate are in an enviable position compared to most problem gamblers as you have savings and haven't the long-term catastrophic financial and guilt issues many have. 10 weeks is a superb performance especially as you seem to have faced some serious urges and temptations and beaten them away. Every day adds to the time you are an ex-gambler and removes you farther away from the habit. I know exactly what you meant when you said you were 'nearly happy one day and forgot' in an earlier post. That happens to me on the odd day too, then the missus comes home and the grim reality hits me, so I look for escapism. As long as your escapism isn't gambling mate, you're winning.

Lastly, EVERY bugger on here posting winner screenies and videos or YT bloggers, streamers etc. are significantly down on slots. ALL OF THEM! No exceptions. Ignore the screenshots, which are just a temporary blip on players' accumulative losses as are the winning videos. Ignore the 'I'm 3k up this year' statements, because they are down overall. 95% of what you see is a small facet of slotting, shown because it's entertaining, far more so than endless losing videos or complaints about losses. It's literally a case of 'you only sing when you're winning'.

No man or poster here will lie on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I had gambled more'. The opposite.
 
There were only two online casino's I can use in Australia and I've just permanently closed my accounts with them and will be closing my credit card on Monday.

With a new baby I just can't afford the time or money that this 'hobby' has ended up demanding so it's time to give it away.

Yep I know this isn't my first "I'm quitting" thread- but it should be the last.

I wish all of you the best of luck, especially those rare few able to moderate their play, personally I feel like I've pretty much dedicated the last 19 years of my life to gambling- which kinda sucks.

- All the best :)

hopefully this went consistently well mate. it's different when it's family. always them comes first. :thumbsup:
 
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But is the 'urge to gamble' feeling becoming less strong?
Difficult to say.

I've always had a pretty good handle on my emotions, through rationalisation I've been able to moderate my impulse control to an extent.. that is to say I'm able to think logically when perhaps others would become irrational which is probably why I've been able to gamble for 18 years but still able to avoid debilitating debt...

Right now I know I can't gamble so I don't, I don't really take any pride in it or gain any satisfaction from doing so.

Likewise I know it's pointless to fixate on how enjoyable it would be for me to gamble right now as it would be needless torture.
 
Difficult to say.

I've always had a pretty good handle on my emotions, through rationalisation I've been able to moderate my impulse control to an extent.. that is to say I'm able to think logically when perhaps others would become irrational which is probably why I've been able to gamble for 18 years but still able to avoid debilitating debt...

Right now I know I can't gamble so I don't, I don't really take any pride in it or gain any satisfaction from doing so.

Likewise I know it's pointless to fixate on how enjoyable it would be for me to gamble right now as it would be needless torture.

yeah I can see how that would be a problem and make things harder, not getting a feeling of satisfaction from being gamble free, btw have you ever been on the uk gamcare forum, lots of folk there struggling with the psychological aspect, but they are very strict on what people can write, kind of censorship to prevent affecting any addicts from relapsing. [not saying to post there instead of this forum, I find your updates and journey interesting to read about :thumbsup:]

Sounds like you're treading water overall so it's not too bad a place to be in considering you've been a gambler for 18 years.
 
Difficult to say.

I've always had a pretty good handle on my emotions, through rationalisation I've been able to moderate my impulse control to an extent.. that is to say I'm able to think logically when perhaps others would become irrational which is probably why I've been able to gamble for 18 years but still able to avoid debilitating debt...

Right now I know I can't gamble so I don't, I don't really take any pride in it or gain any satisfaction from doing so.

Likewise I know it's pointless to fixate on how enjoyable it would be for me to gamble right now as it would be needless torture.

I use my record as my excuse/rationale not to gambling. You've gone 3 months why ruin that record?
 
3 months and 3 days. Can't gamble at the moment as I'm essentially camping but drinking and taking drugs instead which I'm not sure is any better.
Feel like I'm just getting an inferior high at a greater cost to my body.

Yes I know, focus on your kid.. get high on Jesus...

I think if the devil showed up and said you can have a $20 feature on Bonanza for $10,000 right now I'd just about take him up on it.

Fortunately, I guess, I've pre-empted myself there, which is really the only way to get out of this habit for anyone trying, out-smart yourself before you out-fuck yourself.
 

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