Welp, that's me done!

[Bloatgoat]

And appearantly did'nt learned much of it, did you?

If you are using drugs as a replacement for your gambling issues then you have'nt understand one thing of going cold turkey, completely get it out of your head. We cant help you like that from over a forum. It takes a bit of a spine to say no and resist those temptings.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

And appearantly did'nt learned much of it, did you?

If you are using drugs as a replacement for your gambling issues then you have'nt understand one thing of going cold turkey, completely get it out of your head. We cant help you like that from over a forum. It takes a bit of a spine to say no and resist those temptings.

Ok, I'll see if I can grow a spine, cheers.

 

[Bloatgoat]

Perhaps you should disconnect your computer for a while, completely trash any links, url's, visitid websites to anything related to gambling. Get a hobby, spend time with your kid(s), go for a walk, set some goals for your future. It takes on avg a 3 weeks to get your brain to back to normal operation. It'll be tough at the beginning but just be strong, hold on.

You wont win millions and overcome any of your problems by going back to it. You had your chance and you blew up.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Perhaps you should disconnect your computer for a while, completely trash any links, url's, visitid websites to anything related to gambling. Get a hobby, spend time with your kid(s), go for a walk, set some goals for your future. It takes on avg a 3 weeks to get your brain to back to normal operation. It'll be tough at the beginning but just be strong, hold on.

You wont win millions and overcome any of your problems by going back to it. You had your chance and you blew up.

Not sure if you've read the thread/post but I'm long passed 3 weeks and have banned myself from all my previous sites. I also do go for walks, spend the majority of my time with my kid (--s) and am generally a good person/dad.
I just still long for gambling.
Not sure why you're getting so aggressive here, I'm doing my best and keeping an open Journal of my thoughts as I go here in the hopes it may help someone else or myself later on.

 

[Bloatgoat]

Your personality does'nt have much todo with having a gambling issue. It's that your brain has start going it's own way basicly and craves for the dopamines caused when playing slots / gambling in general. There's a good article on

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about this subject. I know you cant help it, and thats why you need to seek some professional help and not some AA meeting where talk is the subject. I think you need a more personal approach into understanding what is going on and how to overcome any of those cravings you have.

You are not making it any better by using drugs. In fact you keep the cycle somehow going on and sooner or later you will want to return to that what made you most high: gambling.

So dont feel offended by my words, i'm just writing or stating the way i think it is. It's nothing personal.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

So dont feel offended by my words, i'm just writing or stating the way i think it is. It's nothing personal.

Not offended, and I apologize for perhaps getting overly defensive- that's just because the things you've suggested I have already done.
You name a treatment/system/meeting/medication/philosophy and I've done it, and so me having a go at you for trying to help was not cool.

However, I feel like gambling and most other addictions are often hand waved at with the same platitudes, go to GA, go three weeks, don't place the blame elsewhere. As none of these things help. You say your personality has nothing to do with it and I would argue it has everything to do with it.

Despite being a convenient crutch I do not think gambling, any other addiction or PERHAPS even depression are a disease inflicted upon a person. I think they are a result of a certain personality type.
I suppose it's semantics about what a "disease" is- but for me personally it does not help to think of it that way other than being a soothing way of deflecting blame from myself.

So even without bringing the whole "disease" argument in to it I think you'd be hard pressed to back up your assertion that someone's personality has nothing to do with their predilection to gambling or other addictive activities.

And finally, to clarify- since I think that may have been what set you against me initially: I'm not buying heroin and shooting it up in the gutter, I merely pinched a few pain killers from my dad's stash. I used to be very heavily in to opiates and taking one or two a month now when I get desperate I think is an ok trade.. or if it's not, I'll happily return to gambling

 

[dunover]

Opiates are linked in the UK with problem gamblers, as they tend to alleviate the dread or guilt for doing so. Many problem gamblers cite opiates as a trigger for gambling issues. A VERY DANGEROUS combination.

George Best, the famous N. Ireland footballer who died a few years back from alcoholism despite having received a liver transplant as a second chance, was open about temptation. When he went dry for about 3 years a reporter was congratulating him on 1000 days booze free. George replied along the lines of "Don't you think I've wanted to drink, craved a drink, on every single one of those days?"

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

3 months.
Wife kept asking what I wanted to do to celebrate- have a big dinner with my family acknowledging that three months not gambling was actually significant? No, I just wanted to gamble.

Am I alone in this? Can some other ex addicts pitch in; would you want cerebration of milestones with your family?

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Opiates

I wish I hadn't brought it up.
I've done them in my past alot, almost died a few times. I almost never do them anymore, tonight is a rare exception.

 

[Bloatgoat]

Well being honest is a 'good thing' and it gives us or readers here a better understanding what's going through your mind. But using drugs in general to compensate any of the craving you experienced with gambling, is what dunover already mentioned a dangerous combination. You need to stop doing what you do, and perhaps of thinking doing a different chapter in your life. I know a few people who went to africa for threatment, they really where fucked up cases, but they came back, being a different person, and more stronger to what they once coud'nt resist. I'm no expert at threatments, but i know the first thing to fallback(s) is simply the access to it, and having spine to say no. If you could only master that a bit more, see how far you can come in life man.

I like gambling too; and i had my tilt moments as well. But i know losing such hard in online games is just the way it's designed. It's designed to make you lose. It's designed to hook your mind. It's designed to go in this rollercoaster where there is no end unless you and only you put an end to that. I can say no. And i can walk away. Doing that is'nt so hard as it looks like. But you wont accomplish those steps without doing the things in a right way first. That is, quit any drugs and seek help. You want to get better do you? Or are you just looking for a temporarily sollution and go full at it the next week, month or so?

It's obvious you cant control yourself. So you need to seek different things, where one controls your money. If given access you blew it all away on gambling, are'nt you? Look man it's no shame to have someone control your money and you have a weekly budget. If it saves you from going worse, why not. It might open your mind a bit more in start doing other things as well. Seek a hobby. I came to the idea to start buying metal detectors and do something different with my time, seek for gold / metals near the beach. It was a thing from my very youth which i can do now and i think i like it as well.

I mean, life is not all about slots. You can experience the same thrills in playings games online, doing sports, seek a hobby or some shit. Thats just how slots are designed, to capture your mind and making you believe you cant live without it. It's really simple man. You just have to see it for yourself.

 

[Jono777]

Am I alone in this? Can some other ex addicts pitch in; would you want cerebration of milestones with your family?

Nope, not at all.

When I was in my late teens, early 20's I became addicted, really addicted to land based AWP's.

Sold almost everything I owned, lied, begged, borrowed, stole, almost anything to get my daily fix. Although not always out of control, really bad/evil period lasted a good 6 month's.

I never went cold turkey completely but did put safeguards in place to try and implement damage limitation. Gave parents my wages with hand out dates, went to town with limited funds and a few other little control methods.

Got under control where I didn't touch an AWP in my mid 30's (took this long as I came across numerous 'emptiers' so easily got my own back, along with all my losses and couldn't ever turn down 100% guaranteed "free money")

Started online in 2003, was in a reasonably well paid job, single and kid free so could spend my wages as I wished, although enjoyed socialising more so as best I recall, only about 20% of my take home pay went on online casinos.

Soon as I settled down, started family, got married etc. I knew I had to set a budget, a fairly low one due to much more important things and stick to it, amazingly I did this no problem and apart from the odd ultra rare slip, (usually when either pissed off at a super fast bust out or a comfortable "all bills paid week"), I have stuck to it to this very day!

 

[goatwack]

Looks like the drug aspect needs redressing. Us flapping over the OP's gambling antics is basically moot if they're seeking their next destructive high and can't think straight

 

[Jasminebed]

I know that AA rewards you with chips. Most of the advice I've read about quitting smoking, and all the apps, keep track, encourage you to set rewards. A friend's mom put what a pack of smokes cost every day in a jar, upping the amount as the prices rose. She did that for over 30 years, lived well into her 80s.

I didn't take that approach. I'm somewhere around 6 months now I think. My own choice was to do my best not to think of how many days or weeks I had been smoke-free, but just think of it as something I don't do any more.

I think of myself as a gambler. I think of myself as a mother, and a friend. An adventersome eater and a good cook. I try to look at no longer smoking as something I have gained, not something I have lost. I'm not feeling all the miraculous health benefits that are touted. My food has always tasted good, and I never developed that smokers' cough. I'm not even saving any money, as the nicotine replacement costs more than I was spending on smokes. But I'm not doing further damage, and that is a very good thing.

I know I was bummed about not feeling more benefits from doing something that has been so hard. I suspect you might be too.

Sometimes celebrations are not just for us however, but those who are proud of us. I bet you did something to mark your child's first birthday. That was for you and other people, a one-year old will not remember.

You will find your own path. I don't have to tell you opiates are not it.

Periods when I either can't afford to gamble, or want to cut back, I usually play a lot of computer games.

 

[Bloatgoat]

Gambling has the potential to completely destroy you, leave you with absolutely nothing on the street and in worst case even for you to commit suicide. You woud'nt be the first who has done so. Some people blew their complete savings, housing, credit cards, all that they could grasp their hands on, into gambling. And the addiction is even worse then a cocaine, crack or whatever you want to compare it to. Dont be silly, dont be that guy who keeps busting his nuts to the same old rock again. Gambling (online) is crafted in such a way that you simply cannot beat it. It's designed to make you lose, and in my opinion even a bit faster then compared to landbased.

Some people blew their complete future away in less then a half year. Great potential, own business, money like water, boom, all gone. Read the web. It's dangerous as fuck and this is a business where 95% of the players are simply considered as suckers who's money to extract from.

When the goverment cracks down on pokey's, that same industry comes out with a low excuse about potential jobs that are going to be lost. The same jobs that where created on the sole base of gambling. This business is rotten. The casino's are only out for maximum profit and craft their game offerings todo so. No casino is going to put up games that would keep the TOD (time on device) too low and the potential winnings too high. Remember we have a guy around on this forum here who designs games and used publicly available maths. I'm sure that other game designers tend to reach for maths that are even more complex and more difficult for players to really win on.

We've seen all the arguments alot of players use about online vs landbased, it's all blabla. I think the majority who plays online loses harder then going landbased.

 

[Bloatgoat]

Lol. I find this very interesting. The way they could create a pigeon into a gambling addict into pressing the button in exchange for a random award (food).

Does'nt this ring a bell? This was done back in the 60's / 70's or so. The whole gambling industry is based on those tests and study's done in the past.

 

[SpinUk]

I know that AA rewards you with chips. Most of the advice I've read about quitting smoking, and all the apps, keep track, encourage you to set rewards. A friend's mom put what a pack of smokes cost every day in a jar, upping the amount as the prices rose. She did that for over 30 years, lived well into her 80s.

I didn't take that approach. I'm somewhere around 6 months now I think. My own choice was to do my best not to think of how many days or weeks I had been smoke-free, but just think of it as something I don't do any more.

I think of myself as a gambler. I think of myself as a mother, and a friend. An adventersome eater and a good cook. I try to look at no longer smoking as something I have gained, not something I have lost. I'm not feeling all the miraculous health benefits that are touted. My food has always tasted good, and I never developed that smokers' cough. I'm not even saving any money, as the nicotine replacement costs more than I was spending on smokes. But I'm not doing further damage, and that is a very good thing.

I know I was bummed about not feeling more benefits from doing something that has been so hard. I suspect you might be too.

Sometimes celebrations are not just for us however, but those who are proud of us. I bet you did something to mark your child's first birthday. That was for you and other people, a one-year old will not remember.

You will find your own path. I don't have to tell you opiates are not it.

Periods when I either can't afford to gamble, or want to cut back, I usually play a lot of computer games.

For me as I have an addicitive personality I try and funnel that obsession to something useful - for me is weight training/gym. At least then you have the benefit of having something valuable after the obsession and if your single you do reap the benefits even more haha.

 

[Janek12]

Judging by myself and some other posters here whose posts I have read over the 13 years I have been frequenting this forum, the main reason to gamble is unhappiness - unhappiness about something. Either partial unhappiness such as about a job or profound unhappiness about horrible life situations such as an ill child, etc.

I saw an interview with Johann Hari on Joe Rogan Experience (available on YouTube) about drug addiction, I highly recommend it. I was blown away by what he was saying. One of my takeaways was that in order to get rid of an addiction, one must root out unhappiness from one's life. Among many other things, he talks about the government policies in Portugal and Switzerland where heroin has been legal for quite some time (around 10 and 15 years, respectively, IIRC) and the overall drug abuse in the general population has improved significantly due to the specific steps taken by the government (they stopped the "war on drugs" and started actually helping addicts).

Some people are able to cope without escapist activities. But some are not and those are inclined to become addicted. And if the addiction, such as gambling or drug abuse, has a significant negative effect on one's life, i.e. the state of one's happiness, then it becomes a vicious circle - the more unhappy one is, the more one is driven to the addiction.

As to the stories about people who "had it all", family, great job, lot of money and gambled it away and ended on a street... The only explanation IMO is that they were not actually happy and that is why they threw it all away so readily.

 

[Bloatgoat]

I disliked gambling in any form back when i was young. I saw my brothers tossing in their montly payments and be stuck for another 3 weeks with litterally no money. I always kept sideways related to gambling, untill i lost my mom. Basicly, that was the spine in my life, that suddenly disappeared. I started to visit landbased casino's, it gave me that escape i was looking for, i kicked it up for 3 years of frequently visits, being a VIP, wining huge amounts of money as well.

When i realised, i never took the time to sit down, and start grieving over the loss of my mother, that's when it kind of settled in. I started to visit the casino's less. I started to feel better personally. I started to move on. The online part came a while later; it's more easy to login online rather then taking the car, heading to the casino, parking, finally sitting down if the machine(s) are not taken yet etc.

 

[Okman]

Am I alone in this? Can some other ex addicts pitch in; would you want cerebration of milestones with your family?

Mate, someone who isn’t me used to be on the fifty dollar rods of homebake or 30 lines to a bag of stamp four every other day. It’s been at least 9/10 years since, and if you can imagine you just lose track of how long it’s been. That’s where you need to get to. Once you stop knowing or caring, you’ve made it. It doesn’t mean someone who isn’t me wouldn’t joke about using or fantasise about it quite often, just means they don’t want to stomp down that road. At least you are conscious you are replacing something with something else. This SWIM bloke wasn’t a tourist either, very bad jack rabbit on every jack and jill under the sun. I’m being intentionally vague, but I’m sure you know what I mean. Just stay above water man.

 

[slotplayer]

I never even been to a land casino until I was over 37. I consider it a blessing. Imagine if I started at 18 or 20.

 

[slotplayer]

Judging by myself and some other posters here whose posts I have read over the 13 years I have been frequenting this forum, the main reason to gamble is unhappiness - unhappiness about something. Either partial unhappiness such as about a job or profound unhappiness about horrible life situations such as an ill child, etc.

This is exactly how I got hooked on the land casino, marriage was ending, mother was in stage 4 and my high tech job @ nortel was being relocated back to Canada.

These back to back events put me in a depression, going the land casino was soothing, a place where I could escape and think, unfortunately I ended up getting addicted.

 

[bebo67]

Land base casinos are evil, evil,evil! There is no distractions there, meaning clocks or windows. I spent many a weekends there when my kids were gone, pulling 12-16 hours sometimes. No one would say boo! My last day in a land base casino was 6 years ago December 28th. I won 6k, self excluded and haven't looked back. I don't think about it,except to shake my head sometimes. The money won was huge, just like the money lost. Online is a whole different scene for me. I cant still still for that long, so my sessions will last 2 hours tops, but most times an hour. Oddly enough, I'm only addicted to one game. Weird eh? I could play that for free, but for some reason, it isn't as fun. Online you have safe guards in place, and I have used them, like setting limits, when I know money needs to go on other things. My past is my past. The self exclusion was only to be a year.

 

[slotplayer]

Land base casinos are evil, evil,evil! There is no distractions there, meaning clocks or windows. I spent many a weekends there when my kids were gone, pulling 12-16 hours sometimes. No one would say boo! My last day in a land base casino was 6 years ago December 28th. I won 6k, self excluded and haven't looked back. I don't think about it,except to shake my head sometimes. The money won was huge, just like the money lost. Online is a whole different scene for me. I cant still still for that long, so my sessions will last 2 hours tops, but most times an hour. Oddly enough, I'm only addicted to one game. Weird eh? I could play that for free, but for some reason, it isn't as fun. Online you have safe guards in place, and I have used them, like setting limits, when I know money needs to go on other things. My past is my past. The self exclusion was only to be a year.

The cat in my Avatar saved my butt a few times at the land casino. All of a sudden I'd say to myself man, I have to get back he's probably starving and feeling abandoned.

 

[dionysus]

Land base casinos are evil, evil,evil! There is no distractions there, meaning clocks or windows. I spent many a weekends there when my kids were gone, pulling 12-16 hours sometimes. No one would say boo! My last day in a land base casino was 6 years ago December 28th. I won 6k, self excluded and haven't looked back. I don't think about it,except to shake my head sometimes. The money won was huge, just like the money lost. Online is a whole different scene for me. I cant still still for that long, so my sessions will last 2 hours tops, but most times an hour. Oddly enough, I'm only addicted to one game. Weird eh? I could play that for free, but for some reason, it isn't as fun. Online you have safe guards in place, and I have used them, like setting limits, when I know money needs to go on other things. My past is my past. The self exclusion was only to be a year.

I find I spend MORE time online (12-20 hrs sessions) than land based because it's easy and less distractions, whereas at land based, there's bands, and people in your way, a bar and foodcourt, restaurants, etc

 

[Okman]

Land base casinos are evil, evil,evil! There is no distractions there, meaning clocks or windows. I spent many a weekends there when my kids were gone, pulling 12-16 hours sometimes. No one would say boo! My last day in a land base casino was 6 years ago December 28th. I won 6k, self excluded and haven't looked back. I don't think about it,except to shake my head sometimes. The money won was huge, just like the money lost. Online is a whole different scene for me. I cant still still for that long, so my sessions will last 2 hours tops, but most times an hour. Oddly enough, I'm only addicted to one game. Weird eh? I could play that for free, but for some reason, it isn't as fun. Online you have safe guards in place, and I have used them, like setting limits, when I know money needs to go on other things. My past is my past. The self exclusion was only to be a year.

I completely agree, I tend to walk away from land based casinos with a small profit but 9/10 give it all back to them. At least with online I have the ability to cash out an amount, lock it in and at least know the money is heading to an account. This isn’t to say I haven’t blown a big balance online though, lately it’s just been just as bad. However, online gives me a bit of needed restriction compared to when I hit it big at a land based, the cash just burns a hole in my pocket.