Welp, that's me done!

[dionysus]

i dunno but is he the sham wow guy

 

[goatwack]

i dunno but is he the sham wow guy

Maybe 35 years ago, yes

 

[Gaz237]

Wow, wow, wowzer

That's a first

Did I add to much detail?.

 

[colinsunderland]

Just WOW.

Nothing to add.

ffs I feel like my head is going to explode, I agree with one of your posts. Please don't do that again as I'll not sleep for days now

 

[pinnit2014]

This thread stinks of hypocrisy how the hell can a bunch of gamblers preach to a guy who has problems with gambling?.
My opinion mate for all it's worth is you do what you feel you have too and if that means being taught another lesson well so be it.
These lot don't have to live with you..

What a pretty ridiculous comment to make.

No one was preaching last time I read here, merely offering a bit of empathy and opinion to the OP.

But thanks for your valuable input.

 

[Jasminebed]

I promised to cheer for you nobonanza, but I've been having a pretty hard time myself.

Spent weeks where I didn't even log in recently.

My battle with depression spans more than 50 years at this point.

It is not a character failure.

For me, and lots of others, it is a chronic disease.

Lots of people live with chronic disease, we are not special. Well, I am, can't speak for you, lol.

I handle disappointment better than nothing than something I am looking forward to.

Does not need to be big.

And while a gratitude journal or such may sound hokey, I find it helps. Today I feel good thread.

And quite frankly, some doctors/psychiatrists/conselors/ are are better fit than others.

And ditto for medications. Medications sometimes are necessary to get us to a point to do the work.

I've been crippled for months.

But I'm here to tell the tale.

Plan something besides gambling at the three month mark for yourself.

My addiction to smoking has impaired my health forever. I'll never be able to be just "oh, just this time".

But I am "not any more".

You also need to remember you are in grief. Even a bad relationship when it ends has a mourning period. And the further we get from it, the rosier it looks in retrospect.

You should really be proud you have come so far, not looking for ways to go back to what did not serve you well.

While we love our kids, their infancy is no cakewalk. While I cannot support jogging as answer, because it is awfully hard in your knees and shins and heels, getting some movement and out of doors is good advice.

Bundle up the baby, take the stroller out for a walk.

Chances are it's not picnic for mommy either.

I'm not sure I was ever a bad mother, but I was not the bestest.

But there were points of chanting "A bad mother is better than no mother" kept me alive.

Perhaps I was wrong about that, but I think so.

Who said life was fair or easy?

Baby steps, just set a small goal for Wednesday.

Even if you don't quite meet it, you set a goal.

I don't meet most of my goals, but I would meet none of them if I didn't try so hard.

 

[mcgameboy]

This thread stinks of hypocrisy how the hell can a bunch of gamblers preach to a guy who has problems with gambling?.
My opinion mate for all it's worth is you do what you feel you have too and if that means being taught another lesson well so be it.
These lot don't have to live with you..

Seriously, is that really the best "advice" you could provide the OP with?
You call us out for preaching, then come up with an utterly ridiculous suggestion like that?
Even if he were the only person to suffer as a direct result of heeding your suggestion, your advice is woefully misguided at best.

But he wouldn't be the only person to suffer for it, would he? His wife and his child go without as a direct result of his selfishness.
Or maybe you view a wife and child having to go without due to someone's gambling problem as mere collateral damage?
As long the OP gets to spunk a grand away while getting his very brief and futile Extra Chilli fix, that's all that matters.

Honestly, reading this thread is starting to make me angry and pissed off. You and the OP seriously need to get a grip of yourselves.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Thanks for all the replies guys (and gals),I am reading them but just don't have the energy to reply atm

 

[Steviedoo]

Two months.
Couldn't go have a beer with a friend yesterday at the golf club cos I'd be in to the pokies like a shot.
Still pretty 'meh' about the whole thing.
Thinking about maybe going back, in controlled amounts, after three months if still not feeling any better.

But you didn’t go with your buddy. Even though the craving is alive and well....you stopped yourself.

I’m sure you’ve done far more difficult things then this.

You got this.

One moment at a time.

 

[Supababe]

I promised to cheer for you nobonanza, but I've been having a pretty hard time myself.

Spent weeks where I didn't even log in recently.

My battle with depression spans more than 50 years at this point.

It is not a character failure.

For me, and lots of others, it is a chronic disease.

Lots of people live with chronic disease, we are not special. Well, I am, can't speak for you, lol.

I handle disappointment better than nothing than something I am looking forward to.

Does not need to be big.

And while a gratitude journal or such may sound hokey, I find it helps. Today I feel good thread.

And quite frankly, some doctors/psychiatrists/conselors/ are are better fit than others.

And ditto for medications. Medications sometimes are necessary to get us to a point to do the work.

I've been crippled for months.

But I'm here to tell the tale.

Plan something besides gambling at the three month mark for yourself.

My addiction to smoking has impaired my health forever. I'll never be able to be just "oh, just this time".

But I am "not any more".

You also need to remember you are in grief. Even a bad relationship when it ends has a mourning period. And the further we get from it, the rosier it looks in retrospect.

You should really be proud you have come so far, not looking for ways to go back to what did not serve you well.

While we love our kids, their infancy is no cakewalk. While I cannot support jogging as answer, because it is awfully hard in your knees and shins and heels, getting some movement and out of doors is good advice.

Bundle up the baby, take the stroller out for a walk.

Chances are it's not picnic for mommy either.

I'm not sure I was ever a bad mother, but I was not the bestest.

But there were points of chanting "A bad mother is better than no mother" kept me alive.

Perhaps I was wrong about that, but I think so.

Who said life was fair or easy?

Baby steps, just set a small goal for Wednesday.

Even if you don't quite meet it, you set a goal.

I don't meet most of my goals, but I would meet none of them if I didn't try so hard.

Jas- to read your post and to see the shoes that you walk in daily should really help the OP.

Listen to the words of wisdom NoD, read each sentence carefully and really take note, even if it’s the only reply that you do so.

Your hole is extremely deep I believe and it’s going to be a continued battle to get to ground level. But at least you have found a rope to hold on to and have taken a go at climbing.
Don’t let the dementors continue to suck the life out of you. Because when they are done with you, you can guarantee they will start on your child/future children.
Little ones live what they learn and you have plenty of time yet to grow into the best version of yourself for your child to see.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

I'm sorry I haven't been able to give you guys, particularly jas, a decent update I'm just so tired and having trouble getting the things that need to be done done.
Nothing is new.
Life goes on.

Edit: still haven't gambled

 

[Jono777]

If you genuinely haven't gambled that a HUGE well done / nice one from me!

 

[Jasminebed]

I'm proud of you. Have you ever tried meditation? It is like most things in life, it takes practice. I think for most people it will take around 3 weeks of 1/2 hour a day to get there, so don't give up easily. Even the practice is restful. While I do suffer from depression, I don't have a whole lot of problem with anxiety, and I credit meditation for that. It is a great tool for pain management too, although I use different technique for that.

 

[MartiniMan]

@TheresNoDInBonanza Try not to dwell on the past, you can change it, and nothing positive ever comes from beating yourself up over it.

The hardest step is admitting you've got a program (lol just spotted this typo) I meant 'problem'. You've taken that 1'st step, and by all account you've stopped.

I don't have clinical depression, nor do I have a gambling problem.

All the same, sometimes life is a double edged sword. It can leave you not seeing the beautiful forest, instead all you see are the abundance of trees. Tightly packed trees.

As other members have suggested, this is backed up by science, do some light exercise, even if it's walking around the block.

I recently return from an extended holiday.
Packed the car and my partner and I did a road trip. Although the laptop was packed, and could have gambled, I didn't. Instead, we were doing all sorts of fun stuff during the day. By 10pm I was knackered. Had three weeks of decent eight hour sleep each night. Was even getting stuck into a decent breakfast each day. Something I don't usually do.

I find if I'm bored, there's more chance I'll hit the slots, than if I'm busy with other stuff.

If your no longer gambling then you've got cash. Take some time off work, and get away from everything. Even if that's chasing the sun, laying on a beach up the Gold Coast

Dwelling on stuff, things you can't change, isn't going to make you feel better.

Pat yourself on the back, that you've given gambling the flick.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Thanks all- @Jasminebed I have tried meditation and CBT, hypnotherapy etc. Doesn't really work for me probably for the same reason I have trouble sleeping, brain always racing. I don't have anxiety, my depression makes sure of that! @MartiniMan Yes my wife and I went on a ~3 week camping roadtrip for our wedding which was certainly great and I was certainly feeling better. However my job (self-employed) does not allow me to take time off (ever) so that's the only holiday I've had here (ever). I do still get away for a weekend now and then but not really so easy now with a 7 month old screaming his lungs out, hard enough to find time to sleep.

 

[MartiniMan]

@TheresNoDInBonanza - I'm sure you've heard the saying: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The same analogy rings true for people.

What I know about you is: your an Aussie like me, you have a wife, a 7 month old baby, your own business, and from what I've read, a problem with compulsive gambling. Plus, you've have ongoing depression most of your life.

Don't know if you watched the Project the other night on channel 10, but one of the guest's was Turia Pitt (she sustained horrific burns, when she was caught in a bushfire, whilst competing in an Ultra-Marathon here in Australia)

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

Well worth a read, not only about how she has overcome incomprehensible, life changing obstacles, but how content/happy she is in herself and her life.

There's not too many people who haven't got something that can either brake them, or make them, in this life. I don't want to sound harsh, uncaring or lacking of empathy, because truthfully, I'm none of these. In actually fact I'm the complete opposite. But sometimes, regardless of who were are, or what troubles we maybe facing, sometimes we need a reality-check.

Your OP made it pretty clear why you've gave up.

But as the weeks wore on, the memory of that event, seems to have been overshadowed. Instead replaced with your 'Gambling Demon' perched on your shoulder, feeding you its Bullsh*t.

Fact is, there's nothing anyone here can do, nor anything you wife, family or friends can do, to stop you gambling, if that's what you want to do.

Aside from a PM and a couple of replies to that, I really don't know you anymore that I know Joe Blogs down the road.

What I do know is, and from reading your posts of late, maybe you still haven't hit 'your rock bottom' with the gambling bug.
Maybe you need to feel more pain, anguish, self loathing and everything else that goes hand in hand with this territory, to know, 100% fact for you, you can no longer gamble responsibly.

A guy I knew once had a successful butch shop, nice home, beautiful and supportive wife/family and 2 lovely kids. But he, like yourself, had a gambling problem. He'd kicked the habit and for close on 2 years was kicking goals again. One day out the blue, he blew $100K on the horses. When that all sunk in later that night, he visited his shop, got a knife and stabbed himself in chest. Missed his heart by only a few millimetres. He was found laying in a pool of blood by the guys who stock the meat.

Well fuck me, you'd think after that ordeal he'd stop. Nope, a few years after that incident (TheresnoDInBonanza much like the same-bullshit your feeding yourself now), he once again convinced himself he didn't have a gambling problem, and repeated the same shit. Tried to top himself a 2'nd time and failed again. This time, his wife and the kids left.

Everyone who's ever dealt with problems in their lives have a choice. They can focus negative energy on the misgiving life has thrown their way, and in doing so, compare their life with a 1/2 empty glass. Or, instead, look at all the good-stuff they've been blessed with.

Only you have the power, choice and will, to change the negative stuff in your life mate.

 

[Borgie]

@TheresNoDInBonanza - I'm sure you've heard the saying: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The same analogy rings true for people.
What I know about you is: your an Aussie like me, you have a wife, a 7 month old baby, your own business, and from what I've read, a problem with compulsive gambling. Plus, you've have ongoing depression most of your life.

Don't know if you watched the Project the other night on channel 10, but one of the guest's was Turia Pitt (she sustained horrific burns, when she was caught in a bushfire, whilst competing in an Ultra-Marathon here in Australia)

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

Well worth a read, not only about how she has overcome incomprehensible, life changing obstacles, but how content/happy she is in herself and her life.

There's not too many people who haven't got something that can either brake them, or make them, in this life. I don't want to sound harsh, uncaring or lacking of empathy, because truthfully, I'm none of these. In actually fact I'm the complete opposite. But sometimes, regardless of who were are, or what troubles we maybe facing, sometimes we need a reality-check.

Your OP made it pretty clear why you've gave up.

But as the weeks wore on, the memory of that event, seems to have been overshadowed. Instead replaced with your 'Gambling Demon' perched on your shoulder, feeding you its Bullsh*t.

Fact is, there's nothing anyone here can do, nor anything you wife, family or friends can do, to stop you gambling, if that's what you want to do.

Aside from a PM and a couple of replies to that, I really don't know you anymore that I know Joe Blogs down the road.

What I do know is, and from reading your posts of late, maybe you still haven't hit 'your rock bottom' with the gambling bug.
Maybe you need to feel more pain, anguish, self loathing and everything else that goes hand in hand with this territory, to know, 100% fact for you, you can no longer gamble responsibly.

A guy I knew once had a successful butch shop, nice home, beautiful and supportive wife/family and 2 lovely kids. But he, like yourself, had a gambling problem. He'd kicked the habit and for close on 2 years was kicking goals again. One day out the blue, he blew $100K on the horses. When that all sunk in later that night, he visited his shop, got a knife and stabbed himself in chest. Missed his heart by only a few millimetres. He was found laying in a pool of blood by the guys who stock the meat.

Well fuck me, you'd think after that ordeal he'd stop. Nope, a few years after that incident (TheresnoDInBonanza much like the same-bullshit your feeding yourself now), he once again convinced himself he didn't have a gambling problem, and repeated the same shit. Tried to top himself a 2'nd time and failed again. This time, his wife and the kids left.

Everyone who's ever dealt with problems in their lives have a choice. They can focus negative energy on the misgiving life has thrown their way, and in doing so, compare their life with a 1/2 empty glass. Or, instead, look at all the good-stuff they've been blessed with.

Only you have the power, choice and will, to change the negative stuff in your life mate.

Fantastic post.

I am reminded of Simon Weston who was horribly burned and disfigured in the Falklands war

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

This man endured countless surgeries and horrific pain and depression. He deserved all the sympathy and kindness and love showered on him. However his recovery he attributes to tough love. His mother got his old commanding officer and regiment back in touch. They refused to molecoddle him. They gave him a hard time because he needed to see his life was still worth living. It worked. He married has 3 children. Worked for charity. He even met, forgave and befriended the Argentinean pilot who bombed his ship causing him his injuries and lives a full meaningful life. All because his true friends refused to allow him to wallow .

That's what people are trying to do here OP . Trying to get you to face your demons and stop wallowing. Because they care.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Wow, inspiring stuff- I'm not wallowing, not right now anyway I don't think. It's just a difficult thing to do. My brain doesn't like it one bit. Most days I still run the gamut from "fuuuuck gambling" to "I'm withdrawing $10000 and going on a bender tomorrow" but the road blocks in place seem to be working for now.

I'm really humbled by the support shown in this thread though, don't know if I've ever done anything like that for a stranger.

Nine days to go until three months.

 

[MartiniMan]

@TheresNoDInBonanza - 9 to go Going great guns mate

don't know if I've ever done anything like that for a stranger.

It's a peculiar world we live in these days.

The media seems preoccupied with planting seeds of paranoia, and distrust of others. But here, within this online community, despite all the fake-news we're shovelled each day, it doesn't stop real people coming together and helping each other out. Just a friendly hi mate, or some other kind gesture, can mean everything to someone, sometimes.

Besides, a stranger is another friend we just haven't met yet

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

10 weeks and 3 days (I thought it was 11 weeks but the missus says 10).

I actually found myself feeling happy a few days ago.
Was a very confusing emotion I tried not to dwell too much on.

I still miss gambling so so much* but maybe things will get better after all.

* What I wouldn't give to see three scatters right now, in any game** at any stake

** Except Bonanza

 

[Okman]

I’m just a lurker mate but good on you for scrubbing the punt away. I found just keeping the mind occupied with other shit helps, and it does take some time before you stop hearing the sounds of a feature trigger randomly in your head, but just try acknowledge the drug that is pokies. If you’ve ever kicked any sort of drug it’s a lot harder than that, but every day not punting is a good day.

My tip would be not to beat yourself up if you fall over along the way, the shame spiral can just send you back down again and again. Just start from scratch and look forward. Enough bullshit talk from me, just get her done champ.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

I've gotta watch some slots. Probably dazzag.
My dad is staying with me ATM because he just had his knee replaced and so there's a whole bunch of opiates just laying around. I was in to them perhaps as much as gambling.
I'll just watch some videos.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Fuck it I'm depositing

 

[Okman]

Fuck it I'm depositing

I only came here to say stay away from the oxynorm but now I feel obligated to ask you to maybe reconsider your choice brother

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

G damn it