Welp, that's me done!

[dionysus]

i dunno but is he the sham wow guy

 

[goatwack]

i dunno but is he the sham wow guy

Maybe 35 years ago, yes

 

[Gaz237]

Wow, wow, wowzer

That's a first

Did I add to much detail?.

 

[colinsunderland]

Just WOW.

Nothing to add.

ffs I feel like my head is going to explode, I agree with one of your posts. Please don't do that again as I'll not sleep for days now

 

[pinnit2014]

This thread stinks of hypocrisy how the hell can a bunch of gamblers preach to a guy who has problems with gambling?.
My opinion mate for all it's worth is you do what you feel you have too and if that means being taught another lesson well so be it.
These lot don't have to live with you..

What a pretty ridiculous comment to make.

No one was preaching last time I read here, merely offering a bit of empathy and opinion to the OP.

But thanks for your valuable input.

 

[Jasminebed]

I promised to cheer for you nobonanza, but I've been having a pretty hard time myself.

Spent weeks where I didn't even log in recently.

My battle with depression spans more than 50 years at this point.

It is not a character failure.

For me, and lots of others, it is a chronic disease.

Lots of people live with chronic disease, we are not special. Well, I am, can't speak for you, lol.

I handle disappointment better than nothing than something I am looking forward to.

Does not need to be big.

And while a gratitude journal or such may sound hokey, I find it helps. Today I feel good thread.

And quite frankly, some doctors/psychiatrists/conselors/ are are better fit than others.

And ditto for medications. Medications sometimes are necessary to get us to a point to do the work.

I've been crippled for months.

But I'm here to tell the tale.

Plan something besides gambling at the three month mark for yourself.

My addiction to smoking has impaired my health forever. I'll never be able to be just "oh, just this time".

But I am "not any more".

You also need to remember you are in grief. Even a bad relationship when it ends has a mourning period. And the further we get from it, the rosier it looks in retrospect.

You should really be proud you have come so far, not looking for ways to go back to what did not serve you well.

While we love our kids, their infancy is no cakewalk. While I cannot support jogging as answer, because it is awfully hard in your knees and shins and heels, getting some movement and out of doors is good advice.

Bundle up the baby, take the stroller out for a walk.

Chances are it's not picnic for mommy either.

I'm not sure I was ever a bad mother, but I was not the bestest.

But there were points of chanting "A bad mother is better than no mother" kept me alive.

Perhaps I was wrong about that, but I think so.

Who said life was fair or easy?

Baby steps, just set a small goal for Wednesday.

Even if you don't quite meet it, you set a goal.

I don't meet most of my goals, but I would meet none of them if I didn't try so hard.

 

[mcgameboy]

This thread stinks of hypocrisy how the hell can a bunch of gamblers preach to a guy who has problems with gambling?.
My opinion mate for all it's worth is you do what you feel you have too and if that means being taught another lesson well so be it.
These lot don't have to live with you..

Seriously, is that really the best "advice" you could provide the OP with?
You call us out for preaching, then come up with an utterly ridiculous suggestion like that?
Even if he were the only person to suffer as a direct result of heeding your suggestion, your advice is woefully misguided at best.

But he wouldn't be the only person to suffer for it, would he? His wife and his child go without as a direct result of his selfishness.
Or maybe you view a wife and child having to go without due to someone's gambling problem as mere collateral damage?
As long the OP gets to spunk a grand away while getting his very brief and futile Extra Chilli fix, that's all that matters.

Honestly, reading this thread is starting to make me angry and pissed off. You and the OP seriously need to get a grip of yourselves.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Thanks for all the replies guys (and gals),I am reading them but just don't have the energy to reply atm

 

[Steviedoo]

Two months.
Couldn't go have a beer with a friend yesterday at the golf club cos I'd be in to the pokies like a shot.
Still pretty 'meh' about the whole thing.
Thinking about maybe going back, in controlled amounts, after three months if still not feeling any better.

But you didn’t go with your buddy. Even though the craving is alive and well....you stopped yourself.

I’m sure you’ve done far more difficult things then this.

You got this.

One moment at a time.

 

[Supababe]

I promised to cheer for you nobonanza, but I've been having a pretty hard time myself.

Spent weeks where I didn't even log in recently.

My battle with depression spans more than 50 years at this point.

It is not a character failure.

For me, and lots of others, it is a chronic disease.

Lots of people live with chronic disease, we are not special. Well, I am, can't speak for you, lol.

I handle disappointment better than nothing than something I am looking forward to.

Does not need to be big.

And while a gratitude journal or such may sound hokey, I find it helps. Today I feel good thread.

And quite frankly, some doctors/psychiatrists/conselors/ are are better fit than others.

And ditto for medications. Medications sometimes are necessary to get us to a point to do the work.

I've been crippled for months.

But I'm here to tell the tale.

Plan something besides gambling at the three month mark for yourself.

My addiction to smoking has impaired my health forever. I'll never be able to be just "oh, just this time".

But I am "not any more".

You also need to remember you are in grief. Even a bad relationship when it ends has a mourning period. And the further we get from it, the rosier it looks in retrospect.

You should really be proud you have come so far, not looking for ways to go back to what did not serve you well.

While we love our kids, their infancy is no cakewalk. While I cannot support jogging as answer, because it is awfully hard in your knees and shins and heels, getting some movement and out of doors is good advice.

Bundle up the baby, take the stroller out for a walk.

Chances are it's not picnic for mommy either.

I'm not sure I was ever a bad mother, but I was not the bestest.

But there were points of chanting "A bad mother is better than no mother" kept me alive.

Perhaps I was wrong about that, but I think so.

Who said life was fair or easy?

Baby steps, just set a small goal for Wednesday.

Even if you don't quite meet it, you set a goal.

I don't meet most of my goals, but I would meet none of them if I didn't try so hard.

Jas- to read your post and to see the shoes that you walk in daily should really help the OP.

Listen to the words of wisdom NoD, read each sentence carefully and really take note, even if it’s the only reply that you do so.

Your hole is extremely deep I believe and it’s going to be a continued battle to get to ground level. But at least you have found a rope to hold on to and have taken a go at climbing.
Don’t let the dementors continue to suck the life out of you. Because when they are done with you, you can guarantee they will start on your child/future children.
Little ones live what they learn and you have plenty of time yet to grow into the best version of yourself for your child to see.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

I'm sorry I haven't been able to give you guys, particularly jas, a decent update I'm just so tired and having trouble getting the things that need to be done done.
Nothing is new.
Life goes on.

Edit: still haven't gambled

 

[Jono777]

If you genuinely haven't gambled that a HUGE well done / nice one from me!

 

[Jasminebed]

I'm proud of you. Have you ever tried meditation? It is like most things in life, it takes practice. I think for most people it will take around 3 weeks of 1/2 hour a day to get there, so don't give up easily. Even the practice is restful. While I do suffer from depression, I don't have a whole lot of problem with anxiety, and I credit meditation for that. It is a great tool for pain management too, although I use different technique for that.

 

[MartiniMan]

@TheresNoDInBonanza Try not to dwell on the past, you can change it, and nothing positive ever comes from beating yourself up over it.

The hardest step is admitting you've got a program (lol just spotted this typo) I meant 'problem'. You've taken that 1'st step, and by all account you've stopped.

I don't have clinical depression, nor do I have a gambling problem.

All the same, sometimes life is a double edged sword. It can leave you not seeing the beautiful forest, instead all you see are the abundance of trees. Tightly packed trees.

As other members have suggested, this is backed up by science, do some light exercise, even if it's walking around the block.

I recently return from an extended holiday.
Packed the car and my partner and I did a road trip. Although the laptop was packed, and could have gambled, I didn't. Instead, we were doing all sorts of fun stuff during the day. By 10pm I was knackered. Had three weeks of decent eight hour sleep each night. Was even getting stuck into a decent breakfast each day. Something I don't usually do.

I find if I'm bored, there's more chance I'll hit the slots, than if I'm busy with other stuff.

If your no longer gambling then you've got cash. Take some time off work, and get away from everything. Even if that's chasing the sun, laying on a beach up the Gold Coast

Dwelling on stuff, things you can't change, isn't going to make you feel better.

Pat yourself on the back, that you've given gambling the flick.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Thanks all- @Jasminebed I have tried meditation and CBT, hypnotherapy etc. Doesn't really work for me probably for the same reason I have trouble sleeping, brain always racing. I don't have anxiety, my depression makes sure of that! @MartiniMan Yes my wife and I went on a ~3 week camping roadtrip for our wedding which was certainly great and I was certainly feeling better. However my job (self-employed) does not allow me to take time off (ever) so that's the only holiday I've had here (ever). I do still get away for a weekend now and then but not really so easy now with a 7 month old screaming his lungs out, hard enough to find time to sleep.

 

[MartiniMan]

@TheresNoDInBonanza - I'm sure you've heard the saying: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The same analogy rings true for people.

What I know about you is: your an Aussie like me, you have a wife, a 7 month old baby, your own business, and from what I've read, a problem with compulsive gambling. Plus, you've have ongoing depression most of your life.

Don't know if you watched the Project the other night on channel 10, but one of the guest's was Turia Pitt (she sustained horrific burns, when she was caught in a bushfire, whilst competing in an Ultra-Marathon here in Australia)

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Well worth a read, not only about how she has overcome incomprehensible, life changing obstacles, but how content/happy she is in herself and her life.

There's not too many people who haven't got something that can either brake them, or make them, in this life. I don't want to sound harsh, uncaring or lacking of empathy, because truthfully, I'm none of these. In actually fact I'm the complete opposite. But sometimes, regardless of who were are, or what troubles we maybe facing, sometimes we need a reality-check.

Your OP made it pretty clear why you've gave up.

But as the weeks wore on, the memory of that event, seems to have been overshadowed. Instead replaced with your 'Gambling Demon' perched on your shoulder, feeding you its Bullsh*t.

Fact is, there's nothing anyone here can do, nor anything you wife, family or friends can do, to stop you gambling, if that's what you want to do.

Aside from a PM and a couple of replies to that, I really don't know you anymore that I know Joe Blogs down the road.

What I do know is, and from reading your posts of late, maybe you still haven't hit 'your rock bottom' with the gambling bug.
Maybe you need to feel more pain, anguish, self loathing and everything else that goes hand in hand with this territory, to know, 100% fact for you, you can no longer gamble responsibly.

A guy I knew once had a successful butch shop, nice home, beautiful and supportive wife/family and 2 lovely kids. But he, like yourself, had a gambling problem. He'd kicked the habit and for close on 2 years was kicking goals again. One day out the blue, he blew $100K on the horses. When that all sunk in later that night, he visited his shop, got a knife and stabbed himself in chest. Missed his heart by only a few millimetres. He was found laying in a pool of blood by the guys who stock the meat.

Well fuck me, you'd think after that ordeal he'd stop. Nope, a few years after that incident (TheresnoDInBonanza much like the same-bullshit your feeding yourself now), he once again convinced himself he didn't have a gambling problem, and repeated the same shit. Tried to top himself a 2'nd time and failed again. This time, his wife and the kids left.

Everyone who's ever dealt with problems in their lives have a choice. They can focus negative energy on the misgiving life has thrown their way, and in doing so, compare their life with a 1/2 empty glass. Or, instead, look at all the good-stuff they've been blessed with.

Only you have the power, choice and will, to change the negative stuff in your life mate.

 

[Borgie]

@TheresNoDInBonanza - I'm sure you've heard the saying: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The same analogy rings true for people.
What I know about you is: your an Aussie like me, you have a wife, a 7 month old baby, your own business, and from what I've read, a problem with compulsive gambling. Plus, you've have ongoing depression most of your life.

Don't know if you watched the Project the other night on channel 10, but one of the guest's was Turia Pitt (she sustained horrific burns, when she was caught in a bushfire, whilst competing in an Ultra-Marathon here in Australia)

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

Well worth a read, not only about how she has overcome incomprehensible, life changing obstacles, but how content/happy she is in herself and her life.

There's not too many people who haven't got something that can either brake them, or make them, in this life. I don't want to sound harsh, uncaring or lacking of empathy, because truthfully, I'm none of these. In actually fact I'm the complete opposite. But sometimes, regardless of who were are, or what troubles we maybe facing, sometimes we need a reality-check.

Your OP made it pretty clear why you've gave up.

But as the weeks wore on, the memory of that event, seems to have been overshadowed. Instead replaced with your 'Gambling Demon' perched on your shoulder, feeding you its Bullsh*t.

Fact is, there's nothing anyone here can do, nor anything you wife, family or friends can do, to stop you gambling, if that's what you want to do.

Aside from a PM and a couple of replies to that, I really don't know you anymore that I know Joe Blogs down the road.

What I do know is, and from reading your posts of late, maybe you still haven't hit 'your rock bottom' with the gambling bug.
Maybe you need to feel more pain, anguish, self loathing and everything else that goes hand in hand with this territory, to know, 100% fact for you, you can no longer gamble responsibly.

A guy I knew once had a successful butch shop, nice home, beautiful and supportive wife/family and 2 lovely kids. But he, like yourself, had a gambling problem. He'd kicked the habit and for close on 2 years was kicking goals again. One day out the blue, he blew $100K on the horses. When that all sunk in later that night, he visited his shop, got a knife and stabbed himself in chest. Missed his heart by only a few millimetres. He was found laying in a pool of blood by the guys who stock the meat.

Well fuck me, you'd think after that ordeal he'd stop. Nope, a few years after that incident (TheresnoDInBonanza much like the same-bullshit your feeding yourself now), he once again convinced himself he didn't have a gambling problem, and repeated the same shit. Tried to top himself a 2'nd time and failed again. This time, his wife and the kids left.

Everyone who's ever dealt with problems in their lives have a choice. They can focus negative energy on the misgiving life has thrown their way, and in doing so, compare their life with a 1/2 empty glass. Or, instead, look at all the good-stuff they've been blessed with.

Only you have the power, choice and will, to change the negative stuff in your life mate.

Fantastic post.

I am reminded of Simon Weston who was horribly burned and disfigured in the Falklands war

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This man endured countless surgeries and horrific pain and depression. He deserved all the sympathy and kindness and love showered on him. However his recovery he attributes to tough love. His mother got his old commanding officer and regiment back in touch. They refused to molecoddle him. They gave him a hard time because he needed to see his life was still worth living. It worked. He married has 3 children. Worked for charity. He even met, forgave and befriended the Argentinean pilot who bombed his ship causing him his injuries and lives a full meaningful life. All because his true friends refused to allow him to wallow .

That's what people are trying to do here OP . Trying to get you to face your demons and stop wallowing. Because they care.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Wow, inspiring stuff- I'm not wallowing, not right now anyway I don't think. It's just a difficult thing to do. My brain doesn't like it one bit. Most days I still run the gamut from "fuuuuck gambling" to "I'm withdrawing $10000 and going on a bender tomorrow" but the road blocks in place seem to be working for now.

I'm really humbled by the support shown in this thread though, don't know if I've ever done anything like that for a stranger.

Nine days to go until three months.

 

[MartiniMan]

@TheresNoDInBonanza - 9 to go Going great guns mate

don't know if I've ever done anything like that for a stranger.

It's a peculiar world we live in these days.

The media seems preoccupied with planting seeds of paranoia, and distrust of others. But here, within this online community, despite all the fake-news we're shovelled each day, it doesn't stop real people coming together and helping each other out. Just a friendly hi mate, or some other kind gesture, can mean everything to someone, sometimes.

Besides, a stranger is another friend we just haven't met yet

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

10 weeks and 3 days (I thought it was 11 weeks but the missus says 10).

I actually found myself feeling happy a few days ago.
Was a very confusing emotion I tried not to dwell too much on.

I still miss gambling so so much* but maybe things will get better after all.

* What I wouldn't give to see three scatters right now, in any game** at any stake

** Except Bonanza

 

[Okman]

I’m just a lurker mate but good on you for scrubbing the punt away. I found just keeping the mind occupied with other shit helps, and it does take some time before you stop hearing the sounds of a feature trigger randomly in your head, but just try acknowledge the drug that is pokies. If you’ve ever kicked any sort of drug it’s a lot harder than that, but every day not punting is a good day.

My tip would be not to beat yourself up if you fall over along the way, the shame spiral can just send you back down again and again. Just start from scratch and look forward. Enough bullshit talk from me, just get her done champ.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

I've gotta watch some slots. Probably dazzag.
My dad is staying with me ATM because he just had his knee replaced and so there's a whole bunch of opiates just laying around. I was in to them perhaps as much as gambling.
I'll just watch some videos.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Fuck it I'm depositing

 

[Okman]

Fuck it I'm depositing

I only came here to say stay away from the oxynorm but now I feel obligated to ask you to maybe reconsider your choice brother

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

G damn it

 

[mack341]

I've gotta watch some slots. Probably dazzag.

Fuck it I'm depositing

bloody hell dazza's vids didn't help much! shame you can't see some of the bandit's old videos, he used to lose a bucket every session, hypalinx's videos are a good deterrent to slots, and his assessment of his yearly loss:

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[greylady]

Noooooooooooooooo!!!

You were doing so well too. Don't, just don't as you know it will only lead to another and another and another deposit - hang in there, we really are all rooting for you.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

I'm ok. I'm solid. We need more videos of big losses.
I'm ok

 

[dionysus]

I'm ok. I'm solid. We need more videos of big losses.
I'm ok

what you probably need, is to stay out of the forum altogether
big wins or big losses - it's still all gambling
an alcoholic doesnt go into the bar and think, I've got it - I'll only watch the people NOT having fun

 

[mack341]

I'm ok. I'm solid. We need more videos of big losses.
I'm ok

good man, we know it's not easy, some of us are half way down the same road you're on, you're just further ahead than us. We've got to face the same pangs and withdrawal symptoms.

There isn't enough losing vids on youtube, dazza's old rhino catalogue was wiped by the youtube plonkers, that would have helped to keep you on the straight and narrow.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Watching dazzag nonchalantly WD another huge win from Bonanza almost made me lose it and pull the full $127,815.23 out of my savings, he's complaining about losing $100 not five minutes after pulling $7k. Feed your God damn cat. God damn it I hadn't taken drugs in probably two years and now that I'm not gambling I have to worry about that again? Aggggh

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

what you probably need, is to stay out of the forum altogether
big wins or big losses - it's still all gambling
an alcoholic doesnt go into the bar and think, I've got it - I'll only watch the people NOT having fun

You may be right, although I hadn't watched any videos until now aside from when I was in full blown gambling mode.

I think there's some use in the forum, I almost blew it tonight, and if not for a post here...

 

[mack341]

Watching dazzag nonchalantly WD another huge win from Bonanza almost made me lose it and pull the full $127,815.23 out of my savings, he's complaining about losing $100 not five minutes after pulling $7k. Feed your God damn cat. God damn it I hadn't taken drugs in probably two years and now that I'm not gambling I have to worry about that again? Aggggh

whatever you do, don't watch dazza's bonanza vids you need some more Schadenfreude type ones, they're getting as rare as gold dust these days just when a lot of 'normal' players are getting roasted by the high variance games

 

[dionysus]

You may be right, although I hadn't watched any videos until now aside from when I was in full blown gambling mode.

I think there's some use in the forum, I almost blew it tonight, and if not for a post here...

members here can be great, but its a bandaid at best - there's no guarantees members will be in or see a post or respond - you need to find ways to turn it aside without coming into the forum; the fact you have access to that much funds suggests you might want to take measure to NOT HAVE that kind of access and I'm sure banks can help you out there with max daily WDs, in-branch WDs only, co-signed accts etc.

if youre on that much a hair trigger it would behoove you to take larger steps in protecting yours - and your family's - interests

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

members here can be great, but its a bandaid at best - there's no guarantees members will be in or see a post or respond - you need to find ways to turn it aside without coming into the forum; the fact you have access to that much funds suggests you might want to take measure to NOT HAVE that kind of access and I'm sure banks can help you out there with max daily WDs, in-branch WDs only, co-signed accts etc.

if youre on that much a hair trigger it would behoove you to take larger steps in protecting yours - and your family's - interests

To clarify, it would take me two days minimum to access those funds. The money available to me immediately is far less. I do have a number of safe guards in place and even if I'd withdrawn the entire savings account it would take almost a month to deposit and lose it all due to daily withdrawal limits.

Not that I'm going to.

 

[mack341]

You may be right, although I hadn't watched any videos until now aside from when I was in full blown gambling mode.

I think there's some use in the forum, I almost blew it tonight, and if not for a post here...

why don't you take up reading in the evening, something that can grab your attention, that you'll want to spend time on. If you enjoyed making things, you could get some model airplanes or lego, mecanno, that sort of thing, and when your child gets a bit older they can play with it, so could be money well spent.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

I'm ok now, thanks to everyone responding so quick. It was just a bad combination of events leading me to be temporarily stupid. I'm ok now and will be making three months soon.
Thank you again, friends

 

[greylady]

Well done and glad to hear that temptation was kicked in the teeth

 

[dunover]

Watching dazzag nonchalantly WD another huge win from Bonanza almost made me lose it and pull the full $127,815.23 out of my savings, he's complaining about losing $100 not five minutes after pulling $7k. Feed your God damn cat. God damn it I hadn't taken drugs in probably two years and now that I'm not gambling I have to worry about that again? Aggggh

Yeah, the 7K was a total exception to what happened before. I lost about 24k in 2017, 2.5k in 2018 and am marginally up in 2019. I find my losses are relative to my play. I am saving to buy a second house outright so am reluctant to waste much making YT videos now. You must also appreciate I have had 2-4 losing videos between a lot of the Bonanza winning ones.

I'd like to play more but don't for a few reasons:

1. Primarily, I HATE losing, even 50 quid, irrespective of how much I could actually afford to spunk. The 24k lost in 2017 really pissed me off, although it was over a whole year and hundreds of sessions plus on a monthly basis I didn't really notice it - when I did my accounts that following April I was shocked at how much it all came to and annoyed with myself because I like to keep perspective on things. Just a couple of years before I had to go out and work for not much more than 2k a month in my arse pocket and it upset me at how detached I had become from reality. Not as detached as the streamers taking in and equally spunking far more it seems. It'll catch up with them all in the end. markmiwurdz….

2018 was subsidized by the insane run I had on Bonanza at Casumo - alas those videos were all killed in the YT purge last year and I actually deposited MORE in 2018 than in 2017 when I had the 24k net losses!

2. Work - I have my fingers in a lot of pies and it's hard to make 4-6 hours nowadays for playing and videoing.

3. Boredom - I spend ages reviewing and playing demo games, 90% of which are utter shite. My eyes glaze over, my mind goes blank and I just want to do something else more constructive.

4. Motive - I don't need to win money on slots, any more than I need to lose money on them.

I have also gotten to 'know' BTG slots and what to expect long term from repeated play. Over time they take a lot fewer net losses for the same amount of deposits than that bastard Rhino and Twin Spin did! I'm not sure why, it must be the med-long term volatility given that the RTP's are broadly the same, but I definitely get more playtime and fun for my dollar. That's why when I do play nowadays I stick to them, not losing discipline and chucking it to the Rapist or other money-suckers.

You mate are in an enviable position compared to most problem gamblers as you have savings and haven't the long-term catastrophic financial and guilt issues many have. 10 weeks is a superb performance especially as you seem to have faced some serious urges and temptations and beaten them away. Every day adds to the time you are an ex-gambler and removes you farther away from the habit. I know exactly what you meant when you said you were 'nearly happy one day and forgot' in an earlier post. That happens to me on the odd day too, then the missus comes home and the grim reality hits me, so I look for escapism. As long as your escapism isn't gambling mate, you're winning.

Lastly, EVERY bugger on here posting winner screenies and videos or YT bloggers, streamers etc. are significantly down on slots. ALL OF THEM! No exceptions. Ignore the screenshots, which are just a temporary blip on players' accumulative losses as are the winning videos. Ignore the 'I'm 3k up this year' statements, because they are down overall. 95% of what you see is a small facet of slotting, shown because it's entertaining, far more so than endless losing videos or complaints about losses. It's literally a case of 'you only sing when you're winning'.

No man or poster here will lie on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I had gambled more'. The opposite.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Thanks @dunover - when I woke up hungover this morning the first thing I thought was "oh no, I didn't have a go at dunover did I?"

They need to install breathalyzers on phones :/

 

[mina1929]

You are going so good, very proud and happy for you

Don't give in, time heals

 

[fmstripes]

There were only two online casino's I can use in Australia and I've just permanently closed my accounts with them and will be closing my credit card on Monday.

With a new baby I just can't afford the time or money that this 'hobby' has ended up demanding so it's time to give it away.

Yep I know this isn't my first "I'm quitting" thread- but it should be the last.

I wish all of you the best of luck, especially those rare few able to moderate their play, personally I feel like I've pretty much dedicated the last 19 years of my life to gambling- which kinda sucks.

- All the best

hopefully this went consistently well mate. it's different when it's family. always them comes first.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

3 months.
Wife kept asking what I wanted to do to celebrate- have a big dinner with my family acknowledging that three months not gambling was actually significant? No, I just wanted to gamble.

 

[mack341]

3 months.
Wife kept asking what I wanted to do to celebrate- have a big dinner with my family acknowledging that three months not gambling was actually significant? No, I just wanted to gamble.

But is the 'urge to gamble' feeling becoming less strong?

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

But is the 'urge to gamble' feeling becoming less strong?

Difficult to say.

I've always had a pretty good handle on my emotions, through rationalisation I've been able to moderate my impulse control to an extent.. that is to say I'm able to think logically when perhaps others would become irrational which is probably why I've been able to gamble for 18 years but still able to avoid debilitating debt...

Right now I know I can't gamble so I don't, I don't really take any pride in it or gain any satisfaction from doing so.

Likewise I know it's pointless to fixate on how enjoyable it would be for me to gamble right now as it would be needless torture.

 

[mack341]

Difficult to say.

I've always had a pretty good handle on my emotions, through rationalisation I've been able to moderate my impulse control to an extent.. that is to say I'm able to think logically when perhaps others would become irrational which is probably why I've been able to gamble for 18 years but still able to avoid debilitating debt...

Right now I know I can't gamble so I don't, I don't really take any pride in it or gain any satisfaction from doing so.

Likewise I know it's pointless to fixate on how enjoyable it would be for me to gamble right now as it would be needless torture.

yeah I can see how that would be a problem and make things harder, not getting a feeling of satisfaction from being gamble free, btw have you ever been on the uk gamcare forum, lots of folk there struggling with the psychological aspect, but they are very strict on what people can write, kind of censorship to prevent affecting any addicts from relapsing. [not saying to post there instead of this forum, I find your updates and journey interesting to read about ]

Sounds like you're treading water overall so it's not too bad a place to be in considering you've been a gambler for 18 years.

 

[slotplayer]

Difficult to say.

I've always had a pretty good handle on my emotions, through rationalisation I've been able to moderate my impulse control to an extent.. that is to say I'm able to think logically when perhaps others would become irrational which is probably why I've been able to gamble for 18 years but still able to avoid debilitating debt...

Right now I know I can't gamble so I don't, I don't really take any pride in it or gain any satisfaction from doing so.

Likewise I know it's pointless to fixate on how enjoyable it would be for me to gamble right now as it would be needless torture.

I use my record as my excuse/rationale not to gambling. You've gone 3 months why ruin that record?

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

3 months and 3 days. Can't gamble at the moment as I'm essentially camping but drinking and taking drugs instead which I'm not sure is any better.
Feel like I'm just getting an inferior high at a greater cost to my body.

Yes I know, focus on your kid.. get high on Jesus...

I think if the devil showed up and said you can have a $20 feature on Bonanza for $10,000 right now I'd just about take him up on it.

Fortunately, I guess, I've pre-empted myself there, which is really the only way to get out of this habit for anyone trying, out-smart yourself before you out-fuck yourself.

 

[Bloatgoat]

Perhaps you need to seek professional help.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Perhaps you need to seek professional help.

I've done it