Buy Me Stuff

Yes, it’s that time of year once again to buy me stuff. Don’t worry about your spouse, or your boss, or any other person who is anticipating your goodwill. It’s me you want to please, ain’t it? It’s me you want to give to. Why? Because we have one thing in common; one fundamental commonality that unites us as one and creates a certain brotherhood. I don’t have to spell this out, do I?

Poker is what it’s all about, at least for as long as it takes you to read this. And if there is a computer nearby, you may want to crank this up while you read, (and I’m making the assumption that you have an Internet connection). While you’re waiting for your computer to boot up, please continue to read. If you’re just sitting there (or standing for that matter) with no Internet access – continue to read anyway. You wouldn’t want to miss out on any jovial jocularities, would you? And besides being a pretty funny guy, I provide the occasional poker tip or trick.

And sometimes I provide observations such as – if poker is such a cool past time, why are so many of us still playing the game on the kitchen or dining room table? Where is our poker “lair”? Now I can understand that some people have limited space in their homes – but for those loyal to the game, space is relative. Most dining room tables are about the size of a standard poker table and could easily be replaced. Hell, send the family out into the living room with their meals. Isn’t this why they invented TV dinners? It’s time you put your foot down and be like a man (if you are a man) and demand your rights to a poker lair. If you are a woman, you probably have everyone on a tight leash and can do what you want anyway.

So just do it. Replace the dining room table with one of these beauties from “Diamond Tables of Las Vegas” These are handmade Texas Hold’em tables “each table is totally custom designed from only high quality materials and expert craftsmanship…it is not mass produced.” Running at a steep $19,000, they are truly beautiful and would surely pay for themselves by mesmerizing your player buddies; they’ll be too busy rubbing their hands on the smooth mahogany finish instead of playing a decent hand of poker. But if not, so what? You’ll have a damn pretty table anyway.

Now for some ambiance; since you’ve already alienated your family by banishing them from the dining room (do not eat on poker tables unless it’s chips, nuts, or other snacks), it is time to create a “winning at poker” atmosphere. Lighting is crucial, and no serious poker room should be without a bit of neon. Casino Fashions has what you need They have a very cool selection of neon signs, and my choice pick is the “Bada Bing!” girlie-light straight from the Sopranos. This I covet. Or even the “Casino Four Aces” will suffice. These are strikingly cheesy but sublime. I want one.

I met Cyndie, the nice lady who runs at the Global Gaming Exposition in September in Las Vegas, and I was really pleased at the amount of poker paraphernalia she had on display at her booth. All of this is available online at her website store. She even has regular auctions at as well. Need some “Gambler Body Detergent” or “Money Laundering Bar Soap”? She’s got it – check her site out!

One last spot before I let you go. How about some vintage chips? has what you are looking for. This modest website run by Las Vegas locals Pete and Chantal Rizzo, has a large collection of poker chips from chillin’ places like the Dunes and the Old Flamingo. They ship internationally, so you can buy me stuff there as well.

So it’s either me, you, or someone anticipating a gift or two that can be pleased by possible choices made at the above sites. And if you’re going to kick the family out of the dining room (or out of the house for that matter), you might as well do it in style.