Thinking of going all in?

[neon claws]

Well it's 15 days since the incident.
Doing ok, I still wince everything I think about it.
Urge to drink in the afternoons but naltrexone is keeping it in check.
Having lots of dreams about various features but haven't gambled.

 

[Jeroensgambling]

Keep it up. Those dreams will slowly vanish as your mind gets back to "normal". It's part of the de-tox from gambling. What is more important is what your next step(s) are going to be and how you can prevent yourself from having a relapse or sudden urge to play.

 

[AndersB]

Yes, it is my understanding that BetBlocker blocks all gambling sites, including sites which do not take bets, such as informational ones including Casinomeister. The number of sites BetBlocker blocks, continues to grow each and every month.

Gamban and Betblocker can block crypto casinos as well as regular online casinos.

 

[Webzcas]

Not just online casinos, but with Betblocker it blocks any site to do with gambling, including Casinomeister.

 

[neon claws]

Well it's been a bit over a month (feels longer) so a status update is in order.
I initially went well, not drinking or gambling for 3 weeks. Then I stopped doing the sinclair method, got stressed, went to the pub- I'm self-excluded from all the pubs around here, but even though I sign in with my ID at two different stages they still don't pick it up if I go in, self-exclusion is unfortunately, a joke.
So I lost $8000 yesterday at the pub, $5-$10 bets. I can't imagine losing $800 doing $1 bets, but anyway, it's the way it goes when you bet big, you lose big, and fast.
So yes, not a great deal of success, I'm drinking again- not as much, but I'm sure it'll ramp up unless I get back on the naltrexone/sinclair method.
I still have about $500k in savings which I haven't touched so I'm not destitute, but it's more the being so damn tired from spending the whole day working and taking care of kids, and then if you add in drinking until 3am, it doesn't end well.
Status update concluded.

 

[paul7388]

Okay I have kept out of this thread but think this needs said. If it offends anyone not bothered and if it leads to a ban same.

Anyway is what is posted in this thread true or not. Not my place to say but I will reply treating it as gospel.

Sorry if it is true then any sympathy has well gone out the window. In fact seriously if true instead of feeling sorry for yourself you need to get a grip and stop being bloody selfish and put your family first.

People blow a fortune on chasing losses and gambling. Most do not purposely say I am going to deposit 200k and lose it .

Then you say you tried to kill yourself but family found you. Would be wake up call to anyone else but not you as you back at pub blowing 8k.

You said you had blew your life savings but it is okay as you still have 500k savings. Obviously never blew all savings then.

But really do you give a toss about wife and kids. This is not spur of moment it is on going.

500k is an amount most people could never dream of having. Instead of properly sorting yourself out you seem to be continuing the same way.

With that sort of money no need to work non stop. You could work way less spend more time with family and be less stressed. You could use some of it to get proper counselling and help.

At the very least I would make sure any savings were transferred to somewhere you could never touch them. Like wife or someone.

But hey your life and money. If you want to then come back and say in a month you have blew that as well then hell mend you.

Sorry but really pisses me off when someone acts way you have. Go on about caring for your family but your actions say the opposite.

You have plenty time and money to sort yourself. About time you did.

 

[neon claws]

Go on about caring for your family but your actions say the opposite.

Nicely articulated reply and not much to argue beyond the point I've quoted here; I am the best most caring partner and father, full stop. Yes I have gambling and drinking dependency issues but despite that I go far above and beyond to make sure my family is taken care of. You do not know my situation and what I have done and sacrificed, you are only seeing the posts from me when I'm at my lowest and most deplorable, when all my safeguards and hard work have failed and I've been weak.

I agree with everything else you said, but you are absolutely incorrect when you say I do not care for my family.

 

[paul7388]

Nicely articulated reply and not much to argue beyond the point I've quoted here; I am the best most caring partner and father, full stop. Yes I have gambling and drinking dependency issues but despite that I go far above and beyond to make sure my family is taken care of. You do not know my situation and what I have done and sacrificed, you are only seeing the posts from me when I'm at my lowest and most deplorable, when all my safeguards and hard work have failed and I've been weak.

I agree with everything else you said, but you are absolutely incorrect when you say I do not care for my family.

But the point is. It is okay going on about safe guards etc.

I believe you when you say you care about your family.

But do you really believe trying to kill yourself and them finding you is caring. Who knows what sort of damage that can do to the kids mental health.

Also you know yourself that you have a gambling problem. But unlike others that have to gamble every day you can stop for weeks.

Means you have the time and money to get the professional help others can not.

Do not mean to sound harsh but no matter how much you care killing yourself and kids finding you is as far from caring and putting their welfare first as you can get.

Also knowing you have blew 200k. If you have another 500k saved anyone that cared for their kids and their futures would.make sure same mistake could never be made.

So yes you may care so much. But from an outsider looking in that is not involved it comes across as the opposite so I will stand by my point.

 

[Jackstar]

Neon claws,
Sorry to hear your still struggling, at least you know what you need to do to get back on track with the Sinclair method/ naltrexone.
Although I don’t agree with a lot ofPaul’s post above I do agree that you should hand your finances over to your wife to manage.
I’m glad you are still posting and updating no matter how you are feeling as doing so is the person inside you fighting to get through this.
Wish you the best to get through this battle

 

[Jeroensgambling]

Some people in life are fortunate enough to lay back, relax and look through life in a different perspective. Also the settlement you can have going for your kids (they will truely appreciate that later in life) will be granted. However you are on the verge and you need to seek help.

There's councelling, trips to africa that can set or put you straight into detox. There's other programs that you can join. Take 6 months off and invest in yourself. You'll be back as a different, and the urge for this gambling or for feeling like a loser after losing, would be gone as snow for the sun.

Left or right, do something with it.

 

[slot_zombie]

I don't know... only now after all the sympathetic posts do you reveal you have another half a million stashed in the bank. I'm not belittling any genuine mental health problems but I feel a bit deceived. I'll check out of this thread now.

 

[Jackstar]

To be fair when you read a post about someone really struggling with their mental health and contemplating suicide it doesn’t matter how much money they have in the bank. They are reaching out for help, a bit of encouragement and support could save his life and prevent his family from devastation caused by suicide.

 

[slot_zombie]

To be fair when you read a post about someone really struggling with their mental health and contemplating suicide it doesn’t matter how much money they have in the bank. They are reaching out for help, a bit of encouragement and support could save his life and prevent his family from devastation caused by suicide.

This is what the OP originally posted:

"Well that's my life savings gone....".

 

[Jackstar]

I know that but he’s still lost a crazy amount of money, and for still having half a million that is absolutely life changing money for most people so I understand why people are struggling to sympathise.
The guy is clearly struggling big time, he’s been feeling suicidal and having money or not he’s in a really shitty place.
I wish him well and hope he gets the support he needs

 

[dionysus]

I feel bad or him, I do
However, we can't help anyone can't help themselves.
Hand control of funds to the spouse, or joint acct requiring 2 people to WD and not spunk that last lot in
Dont rely on the pub to exclude you, turn around and head home (or an AA meeting)
Call a help line when feeling weak or down
Go take the kids out for burgers or skating or w/e
That 8k you lost yesterday? Stick it in a college savings fund

 

[neon claws]

This is what the OP originally posted:

"Well that's my life savings gone....".

Yep when I read that back I cringed, it was indeed an exaggeration/lie. I lost ~Aud$170k that night, it was almost all of my Ethereum.
The 500k is where I have all my investments from my business stored for the future and it's substantially harder to access, by design. As suggested by others I do indeed have all my accounts controlled by my wife, however the Ethereum I had in my control due to when I previously had her in control of that she lost the key and I was unable to sell at the peak of the market, she's very forgetful. I should've just given it to someone else. Still stings.

Anyway, not excusing my responsibility for the loss nor the fact that I embellished the description of it, I wasn't in a good state.

 

[dionysus]

Anyway, not excusing my responsibility for the loss nor the fact that I embellished the description of it, I wasn't in a good state.

Get better
BE better
I mean that nicely, man

 

[neon claws]

Can't believe there hasn't been a single post in the Quit Gambling forum for over two months..
An update, been a bit over two months without gambling and six weeks without drinking tomorrow. However I have been feeling especially crap the last week and out of the blue had a promo email from a casino I thought I excluded from. Just put $50 in. Lost it, feel even crapper. Will exclude from them as well.

 

[heojinus]

Even if you win the all in with 200k, after a few lose session you are just gonna all in with 500k anyway. Find a hobby please dont just make your life about gambling

 

[dionysus]

Can't believe there hasn't been a single post in the Quit Gambling forum for over two months..
An update, been a bit over two months without gambling and six weeks without drinking tomorrow. However I have been feeling especially crap the last week and out of the blue had a promo email from a casino I thought I excluded from. Just put $50 in. Lost it, feel even crapper. Will exclude from them as well.

there isnt an email so important you cant create another one Start anew and casinos cant send you more enticements

 

[Skrim]

Yep when I read that back I cringed, it was indeed an exaggeration/lie. I lost ~Aud$170k that night, it was almost all of my Ethereum.
The 500k is where I have all my investments from my business stored for the future and it's substantially harder to access, by design. As suggested by others I do indeed have all my accounts controlled by my wife, however the Ethereum I had in my control due to when I previously had her in control of that she lost the key and I was unable to sell at the peak of the market, she's very forgetful. I should've just given it to someone else. Still stings.

Anyway, not excusing my responsibility for the loss nor the fact that I embellished the description of it, I wasn't in a good state.

Get well friend, everything will be fine, the main thing is to believe that everything will be fine

 

[thebuxter]

It's heart breaking for me to read this posts.
Just remember most people don't have wifes and kids, and majority don't have 500k or a business.
And sorry to say this but if u feel there is no help for you, there is no help.
But do it for your kids. Don't ruin their future. They are kids so if u need to act happy u will act happy, it's much better if they understand it later as adults, ruining kids emotions at early years is the worst thing that u can do.
I've been there brother i always helped and cared for everyone but always they would makeme feel bad because they felt normal when i was there for them. I always tried to keep everyone in my family happy i was the one cheering them all and in response i got hits so low i don't want to talk about. My father was narcistic abuser who abused me all childhood, my mim supported him, i was alone all my life. Because of abuse i stutter and couldn't even speak in highschool. I couldn't say my name. But i never surrendered. I found the love of my life we moved to live together, worked hard but for 10 years we coudn't have kids. I was devasted, i tried to kill myself seveeal times but god did not want me dead. I gambled everything i had because i wanted to be most miserable man alive. I gambled it all on purpose. I continued gambling and abusing drugs for years. Went to a point I was so depressed i have no words to describe. My suicide attempt with 100g speed eated awaken me, when i woke up in hospital my wife was with me and she begged me to promise i wont do this again and we will succeed. There are 1000 reasons i won't say why i got to this level but this was a turnover where i stopped feeling sorry for myself and put my wife's life first. I acted for years im happy. I wasn't. But then GOD gave us a kid. Doctors said my wife could never had kid. But we got it. That changed everything. Now i live for my kid and the people who care for me and my fanily, im nice to everyone who needs it and thats all but the most fun part is i don't pretend anymore im really a happy person. I survived trough hell hell hell and nothing destoyed me only left scars which made me stronger and proud of myself to a point i can't even believe who i am now in character and psychology . I even learned to speak so i don't stutter anymore. I gave my best besides the pain which was unbearable. I was a robot for years. It all passed and all emotional and psychological pain and agony wen't away. I beated it all. You can do it too. Life is not easy. Life is not beeing happy all time. It's ying yang. And yes i gamble stll but only play tournaments for fun and competitiveness, and have the character to never spin a single bet solo, if not tournament.
Hope this inspires you, just do your best for your family and god will show u the way and give u the strength. And remember to ask the universe if you need its help. It will help will give u the energy to get through anything i promise

 

[Jeroensgambling]

Do you practice any hobby's @neon claws ? Maybe it's time to pick up some stuff. Hobby's generally cost but reward you with "new" energy.

Problem with gambling and esp. online is that its such an isolating experience. Do it long enough and youll exchange playing a game, reading or watching movies with playing.

 

[dionysus]

Do you practice any hobby's @neon claws ? Maybe it's time to pick up some stuff. Hobby's generally cost but reward you with "new" energy.

Problem with gambling and esp. online is that its such an isolating experience. Do it long enough and youll exchange playing a game, reading or watching movies with playing.

neo hasnt posted since April, and likely isnt in the main forum

 

[shadow123]

Think the hardest thing when life has kicked you in the balls is having to appear happy and normal when you are far from it.