Thinking of going all in?

neon claws

Non-Gambler
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Location
Australia
Do you practice any hobby's @neon claws ? Maybe it's time to pick up some stuff. Hobby's generally cost but reward you with "new" energy.

Problem with gambling and esp. online is that its such an isolating experience. Do it long enough and youll exchange playing a game, reading or watching movies with playing.
I kind of got into flying freestyle quadcopters and planes but man it takes a lot of time that I don't have.. can't remember the last time I flew.

9.5 weeks since having a drink. On some new anti depressants which are expensive but may actually be working a bit.. hard to tell when you don't have any time in a day to feel anything except panic about what you need to be doing next and exhaustion.

Anyway, enough of me moaning.
 

neon claws

Non-Gambler
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Location
Australia
It's heart breaking for me to read this posts.
Just remember most people don't have wifes and kids, and majority don't have 500k or a business.
And sorry to say this but if u feel there is no help for you, there is no help.
But do it for your kids. Don't ruin their future. They are kids so if u need to act happy u will act happy, it's much better if they understand it later as adults, ruining kids emotions at early years is the worst thing that u can do.
I've been there brother i always helped and cared for everyone but always they would makeme feel bad because they felt normal when i was there for them. I always tried to keep everyone in my family happy i was the one cheering them all and in response i got hits so low i don't want to talk about. My father was narcistic abuser who abused me all childhood, my mim supported him, i was alone all my life. Because of abuse i stutter and couldn't even speak in highschool. I couldn't say my name. But i never surrendered. I found the love of my life we moved to live together, worked hard but for 10 years we coudn't have kids. I was devasted, i tried to kill myself seveeal times but god did not want me dead. I gambled everything i had because i wanted to be most miserable man alive. I gambled it all on purpose. I continued gambling and abusing drugs for years. Went to a point I was so depressed i have no words to describe. My suicide attempt with 100g speed eated awaken me, when i woke up in hospital my wife was with me and she begged me to promise i wont do this again and we will succeed. There are 1000 reasons i won't say why i got to this level but this was a turnover where i stopped feeling sorry for myself and put my wife's life first. I acted for years im happy. I wasn't. But then GOD gave us a kid. Doctors said my wife could never had kid. But we got it. That changed everything. Now i live for my kid and the people who care for me and my fanily, im nice to everyone who needs it and thats all but the most fun part is i don't pretend anymore im really a happy person. I survived trough hell hell hell and nothing destoyed me only left scars which made me stronger and proud of myself to a point i can't even believe who i am now in character and psychology . I even learned to speak so i don't stutter anymore. I gave my best besides the pain which was unbearable. I was a robot for years. It all passed and all emotional and psychological pain and agony wen't away. I beated it all. You can do it too. Life is not easy. Life is not beeing happy all time. It's ying yang. And yes i gamble stll but only play tournaments for fun and competitiveness, and have the character to never spin a single bet solo, if not tournament.
Hope this inspires you, just do your best for your family and god will show u the way and give u the strength. And remember to ask the universe if you need its help. It will help will give u the energy to get through anything i promise
Thanks for that, I can relate well to some parts- definitely feels like I'm living my life for everyone else.
Glad you've done so well, congrats :)
 

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