Personal attacks need to stop.

[ksech]

Wow, there's lots of "heat" in this thread...
I was going to post earlier, but needed time to think through how I wanted to relate my thoughts (plus needed time to fix my typos ).

When reading the CM/OCR debachle, one of my first thoughts was...
YIKES! So much HATE.

People need to remember, we are ALL sensitive, feeling human beings. Words CAN be mightier than the sword, double edged and all. Once submitted and read by others, you can't take back the bite. When reading what other posters type, you can not hear the inflection in voice as you can in speaking in real time one on one. You can't see the body language behind the typed words.

When I read a post I think may be insulting, I go back and read it again with a different mindframe. Sometimes I can relate, others I come out with the same initial feelings. It's okay, we are all entitled to our opinions.

Bashing one another accomplishes little and requires too much negative energy. There are many on here I love to read, although I may not always agree. That's my right. There are some on here I avoid like the plague. That's my right too.

My posts may not always be clear (I've been accused of being mentally unstable sometimes in real life LOL cause I CHOOSE to work overnights dealing with people who at times are a completely different species of the human race). I try not to take things too personally, cause I don't really know you. BUT, I tend to take things at face value as constructive criticism. We can all learn from each other. If we were all the same what a boring world this would be...

So please, can we get back on track and start posting about things this forum was created for?

 

[maxd]

Gonna form a band called the Self Righteous Brothers.

Sounds great! Sign up on Da Chozen label and get the 'Bountiful Blessings' back-up singers and I think you'll have it!

Actually beginning to sound like a high-concept p0rn0 now that I think of it.

 

[Pinababy69]

Note to self. Remove Canada from World Tour itenerary.

I often shake my head when I see people being rude to waiters and waitresses before they've eaten all their food

LOL Simmo...I just saw your "hidden" message when I quoted your post.

And I just wanted to clarify something. Reading your comment about waiters/waitresses, I had a chuckle. I WAS a waitress/bartender for around ten years. And trust me, I was on the receiving end of the "shit stick" many times. And I stood there and took it (the majority of the time). The only time I reacted was when it became overly abusive, and I had the high sign from my boss. I knew the guy was on his way out anyway, so a few times I would proceed to tell him (it was usually always a "him") exactly what I thought of him. But that rarely happened. Sometimes humour could diffuse a bad situation...he'd call me a bitch, I'd tell him I could change my personality, but when he woke up tomorrow he'd still be married, and miserable. I know that sounds nasty, but it's all in the delivery and nine times out of ten, it would get a laugh from him, and his buddies. And we'd come to an "understanding". That I wasn't gonna take his shit...so go and be miserable to someone else.

And when are people ever going to learn that you should never, ever, ever...under any circumstances....piss off the person in control of your food and drink.

When I said I speak harsher at the grocery store...here is a perfect example. Some will find it okay/funny...others won't. That's fine.

I had to go to MoneyMart the other day, Thursday before the long weekend. And it was packed. At least ten people in line and only one cashier on. The lineup was to the door. I'm about sixth in line, and patiently waiting my turn, just like everyone else. In walks Joe Blow off the street, and rather than joining the end of the line, up he strolls right to the front, and stands next to the lady being waited on at the cage.

I'm watching in disbelief, and waiting to see if he's actually gonna have the cojones to attempt to get his business taken care of, ahead of everyone else. Well, he did. Just shoves his body right in front of the first person in line, and starts yabbering away. The cashier is completely dumbfounded and much too polite (I know her, nice girl) to say anything. I look around at everyone else, and no one knows what to say, or wants to I guess. So, me being me, I yell out "excuse me sir, the end of the line is back here". He ignored me the first time, so I said it again. He finally turns and looks at me, and says "oh, I'll just be a minute". I knew right then this wasn't going to end well. My reply... "I don't care if you're going to be here til the next millenium, the end of the line is back here". He turns around again, and gives me a look like....well, I don't know. Like I had a piece of cow shit stuck to my forehead or something. So then he tries to play the innocence card, proclaiming that he didn't realize there was a line.

I asked him where his seeing eye dog was, because only a blind person would not have been able to see the line...I mean come on. What did he think the ten people inside the store were...the audience? So, unwilling to give up, and hellbent on being served...his next excuse was that there were no signs signifying where the line began. OMG...by this time, I'm getting pissed off. And the cashier is now trying to tell him that he will have to wait his turn, as were a couple of the other customers....also pissed off by the extra delay. So then I ask him (in my best Andrew Dice Clay) impression..."what did you think, the front of the line was back here, and we're all standing backwards"?

I guess by this time he realized he wasn't going to get "served" and gathered up his papers and started towards the door in a huff, muttering as he went past me "meddling bitch". So in a nice, clear loud voice I told him "back at ya, ASSHOLE"!!

That is what I meant when I said that I speak harsher than that at the grocery store. Doesn't happen everyday, nor very often. But stuff like that does happen. And I don't stand idly by and keep my mouth shut. I try polite first...if that doesn't work, I'll say what I feel needs to be said.

I really had an epiphany when I read through this thread this morning. As long as there are those who felt that post that JP quoted was "mean" in tone, and those of us who felt it was totally fine...there is always going to be confrontation here. I am being 100% truthful when I say I am absolutely shocked that ANYONE could find that offensive or mean in any way.

 

[Pinababy69]

Of course I'm a kinder, gentler soul now and am devoted to my pansy garden.

For those of you not able to visualize Max in his garden. Sorry, couldn't find pansies, exactly.

 

[maxd]

That is what I meant when I said that I speak harsher than that at the grocery store. Doesn't happen everyday, nor very often. But stuff like that does happen. And I don't stand idly by and keep my mouth shut.

Good story Pina!

I tend to have a pretty thick head -- crap at learning foreign languages, still avoiding doctor visits, etc -- but one lesson that I have learned in my adult life and never forgotten is you get what you settle for.

My wife, for instance, is too kind, always tries to accommodate. Half or more of the time people still treat her like shit though, they just do it with a pasty fake smile on their face.

People seldom smile at me -- pasty or otherwise -- but they don't treat me like a doormat very often either.

On the other hand where there is confrontation there is often an asshole involved. If you're in it up to your eyeballs it's always a good idea to take a step back and ask yourself who the asshole is. It might be you, it does happen, and if it is well perhaps it's best to bow out gracefully and yield the field.

You pays your money and you takes your chances I guess.

 

[maphesto]

* * * *

This thread is one of those few anger threads where the popcorn taste is bad.

Usually these kind of threads escalates in some banned users after calling each other c-words and equals..

Don´t get me wrong, I don´t want more banned users. I just say that the first 6-7 pages were boring and things from the 4.4 rule-thread continued.

Is it really that hard to ignore things or users?

And I am in no way pointing this to certain individuals, but if you feel that it was pointed at you... ....maybe you can consider letting the computer rest for a while..

Readers should note that Simmo is under review by the Vatican for being canonized and would be known thereafter as St. Simmo, Patron Saint of Happy Campers.

It´s nice to see that you have had a happy easter holiday Max!

You probably saved this thread.

 

[maxd]

For those of you not able to visualize Max in his garden. Sorry, couldn't find pansies, exactly.

Probably a little more like this I'm afraid:

 

[Pinababy69]

Good story Pina!

I tend to have a pretty thick head -- crap at learning foreign languages, still avoiding doctor visits, etc -- but one lesson that I have learned in my adult life and never forgotten is you get what you settle for.

My wife, for instance, is too kind, always tries to accommodate. Half or more of the time people still treat her like shit though, they just do it with a pasty fake smile on their face.

People seldom smile at me -- pasty or otherwise -- but they don't treat me like a doormat very often either.

On the other hand where there is confrontation there is often an asshole involved. If you're in it up to your eyeballs it's always a good idea to take a step back and ask yourself who the asshole is. It might you, it does happen, and if it is well perhaps it's best to bow out gracefully and yield the field.

You pays your money and you takes your chances I guess.

I'm a Taurus Max, need I say more? I am the BULL to the max.

Re: the bolded part...that is pretty much me to a tee. I refuse to be treated like a doormat, or be a victim.

My ex was like your wife. Wouldn't say shit if he had a mouthful of it, not in public. And he'd actually be embarrassed if I ever said anything "out loud", or called attention to anything publicly. But man, when he got home, then the frustration would fly...while I was happy as a lark, lol. When I'd ask why he wouldn't just say what was on his mind...he said he was brought up that way..to not say anything I mean. He's European (Italian to be exact)...perhaps just a different culture, I don't know. I just don't understand allowing people to walk all over you, without voicing your opinion. Or just not voicing your opinion, period.

As to the last part of your post...no doubt I've been an asshole AND a bitch many times in my life. Wasn't trying to imply that I'd be applying for sainthood any time soon. We'll leave that to Saint Simmo, patron saint of blue muppets.

 

[Pinababy69]

Probably a little more like this I'm afraid:

Well Max..you're very, ummmm......errrrrrr, eh, lemme think......imposing, that's it!! Yeah imposing.

And since when do you garden pansies with a sledgehammer? Might explain the bad crop this year.

 

[maxd]

Hope you didn't thing the A-hole bit was directed at you Pina. Mostly just reflecting on past experiences, often where I got to wear the 'Big A' badge.

 

[Pinababy69]

Hope you didn't thing the A-hole bit was directed at you Pina. Mostly just reflecting on past experiences, often where I got to wear the 'Big A' badge.

Nope, not at all....just reflecting, lol. And my badge has a big, capital "B".

 

[maxd]

And since when do you garden pansies with a sledgehammer?

Hunting gnomes, or forum trolls as the case may be. Look at his belt.

 

[Pinababy69]

Hunting gnomes, or forum trolls as the case may be. Look at his belt.

OMG..lmfaoooooo!!! Never would have seen that, had you not highlighted it. So much for that coffee, and my monitor.

Thanks for the laughs Max....hiss, boo...I have to go do some actual work now. But I'm gonna tell all those people who said you had no sense of humour how wrong they were.

P.S. - Joke in case anyone didn't get it.

 

[kakata]

Pina...are you sure your ex was Italian?...and if so...from where in Italy?

 

[maxd]

There seems to be quite a few mods on this forum and should a post look to be personally attacking another member, then the thread should be deleted, the poster then warned or banned straight away.

I suppose after all the monkey business it wouldn't hurt to respond the actual topic at hand.

I've been moderating online gaming forums for almost a decade now. If there is one thing I can say about it it would be that is far, far more an art than a science.

Hard and fast rules about this or that kind of post generally just don't work. It's a world of greys and exceptions, not good guy VS bad guy, black-and-white stuff. Sure, there are the odd obvious examples you can point to but generally everything has to be taken in context.

• Is the 'attacker' responding to a perceived attack?
• Do these people know each other?
• Will the other readers call them out on it?
• Are they deliberately provoking the reader or are they not so much aware of how it could be taken?
• Are they a native English speaker and fully aware of how what they are saying might be taken?

It might sound like a lot of mumbo-jumbo but many times these are legitimate questions, and all part of the Moderator's job. And for the most part the readers are not here to hear from us Mods, they want to talk to each other, so as a Mod you have to choose your moments or risk becoming a forum nazi that everyone gets real tired of real quick.

And all confrontations are not created equally: what might be completely out of line in response to a newbie might be every day's bread and butter for the old forum hands. In fact you are as likely to piss of the regulars for interfering as you are to be protecting the innocents by stepping in.

Truth is few folks appreciate an over-moderated forum. That's just as effective a way to lose your readership as under-moderation is, in many ways more so. If people feel they can't speak their mind because of overly reactive moderation they're outta there! Trust me: been there done that, not so keen on a repeat performance.

So yes, of course keeping things from getting out of control is a must, and even a bit of a tight rein to keep things civil is sometimes called for. but less is usually more for this kind of thing, believe it or don't.

And as far as "delete that thread" goes, very touchy business that. Experienced mods generally limit outright deletions to the spammers and the hate mongers. Beyond that "zap this" and "zap that" is usually a very bad, wholly counterproductive idea.

As to "quite a few mods on this forum" you might have a mistaken impression. See the I-Gaming Forum Reps list, we're listed up near the top, "Administrators" and "Assistants", all three of us + Bryan, our fearless leader. Vortran is a muppet, Bryan's robo-monkey, and doesn't count.

 

[just play]

What happened to the original question? (the affiliate question the bb28 asked and then chuchu changed a bit) Is that thread still locked? I answered it and was looking forward to the conversation about it.

Here is something that might make sense....I'm very particular about my food (has to be cooked right/look right, or I wont eat it) My husband is very picky about food (doesn't like a bunch of items)

Whenever I say "I'm not eating that" he will roll his eyes at me, then I will say "ok, let me go get some olives for you to eat" He HATES olives. Then he gets my point.

We all have different tastes/feelings/thick skin/thin skin. It doesn't make one person good and one person bad, it just makes us different.


Max could you re-open or start that thread again, I think it would be a great topic to discuss.

 

[maxd]

Max could you re-open or start that thread again, I think it would be a great topic to discuss.

Sorry, what? where? Point me at it!

 

[just play]

Sorry, what? where? Point me at it!

WW started a thread about affiliate questions (that is now locked) then all the hoopla started, and that conversation never took off, but in that thread there was a question.....

Very Good ChuChu...........and I agree. So now the question is....Active affiliates here at meisterland should not promote casinos that are on CM's rogue list........agree or disagree?

Edit...just wanted to add, I'm not an affiliate so the original thread wouldn't be interesting to me, (although I would like to see those questions be answered) but the above question does interest me.

 

[Pinababy69]

Pina...are you sure your ex was Italian?...and if so...from where in Italy?

He's still Italian, far as I know Kakata.

He's from Sicily...that is part of Italy isn't it? Or is it considered separate? Why the rolly eyes? What did I say wrong now?

 

[kakata]

He's still Italian, far as I know Kakata.

He's from Sicily...that is part of Italy isn't it? Or is it considered separate? Why the rolly eyes? What did I say wrong now?

....cause is very unlike an Italian ( specially a southern) to act the way you described him.
Well...very unlike for me.

 

[maxd]

WW started a thread about affiliate questions (that is now locked) then all the hoopla started, and that conversation never took off, but in that thread there was a question..

This one?: Affiliate Questions, et al

Sorry, had forgotten about that, re-opened now.

 

[Pinababy69]

....cause is very unlike an Italian ( specially a southern) to act the way you described him.
Well...very unlike for me.

Ahhh gotcha Kakata. Yeah, I always thought so too. He could be hot headed...but mostly would keep it private. Didn't believe in doing/saying anything publicly. Which of course would frustrate him more...and so on, lol.

Not just you...I've seen other Italians as well (live in a predominantly Italian neighbourhood)..who are very "animated" in public, lol. I know it's all in good humour...but man, when you get about ten together at the same time, all trying to have the last word, it's comical. I've worked at bars/social clubs where the older Italian men in the neighbourhood would gather for their nightly espressos/capuccinos....nuff said. Super guys, but very loud and very EXPRESSIVE!!

I don't see a thing wrong with that at all.

 

[kauphy]

Probably a little more like this I'm afraid:

rotflmao i bow to you oh king of the troll hunters:notworthy

 

[NASHVEGAS]

Ah, I assume you could read some of those posts because of a malfunction at CM some months ago. Yeah, one could let off much steam in the good ole club without hurting others' feelings.

Do not assume anything, just the facts. That said, I will PM your exact quote (not the paraphrase from memory as I PM'ed to you last night) which I was originally referencing in my post.

Per Bosslady's instructions, I will not mention any of the other POC postings at CM.

Good stuff, your friend Nash.

 

[Uther]

I had to go to MoneyMart the other day, Thursday before the long weekend. And it was packed. At least ten people in line and only one cashier on. The lineup was to the door. I'm about sixth in line, and patiently waiting my turn, just like everyone else. In walks Joe Blow off the street, and rather than joining the end of the line, up he strolls right to the front, and stands next to the lady being waited on at the cage.

I'm watching in disbelief, and waiting to see if he's actually gonna have the cojones to attempt to get his business taken care of, ahead of everyone else. Well, he did. Just shoves his body right in front of the first person in line, and starts yabbering away. The cashier is completely dumbfounded and much too polite (I know her, nice girl) to say anything. I look around at everyone else, and no one knows what to say, or wants to I guess. So, me being me, I yell out "excuse me sir, the end of the line is back here". He ignored me the first time, so I said it again. He finally turns and looks at me, and says "oh, I'll just be a minute". I knew right then this wasn't going to end well. My reply... "I don't care if you're going to be here til the next millenium, the end of the line is back here". He turns around again, and gives me a look like....well, I don't know. Like I had a piece of cow shit stuck to my forehead or something. So then he tries to play the innocence card, proclaiming that he didn't realize there was a line.

I asked him where his seeing eye dog was, because only a blind person would not have been able to see the line...I mean come on. What did he think the ten people inside the store were...the audience? So, unwilling to give up, and hellbent on being served...his next excuse was that there were no signs signifying where the line began. OMG...by this time, I'm getting pissed off. And the cashier is now trying to tell him that he will have to wait his turn, as were a couple of the other customers....also pissed off by the extra delay. So then I ask him (in my best Andrew Dice Clay) impression..."what did you think, the front of the line was back here, and we're all standing backwards"?

I guess by this time he realized he wasn't going to get "served" and gathered up his papers and started towards the door in a huff, muttering as he went past me "meddling bitch". So in a nice, clear loud voice I told him "back at ya, ASSHOLE"!!

This is so full of chuckles, I'm glad I read through the whole thread now.
Clever sarcasm works far better than plain insults imo... wp Pina