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Personal attacks need to stop.

Discussion in 'Other Complaints' started by Shyguy, Apr 5, 2010.

    Apr 5, 2010
  1. Shyguy

    Shyguy Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Webmaster
    Location:
    Earth...unfortunately.
    I am writing this because I am just fed up with going on casino related forums to find one member personally attacking another. Private matters should be kept private and not sprawled across forums like graffiti.

    Issues with casinos are fine, that's why this forum was created, but attacking other members and calling them anything under the sun just shows the intelligence level of some members.

    These slagging fests that start should be nipped in the bud immediately and to a certain extent the mods should jump on this immediately rather than let it string on. There seems to be quite a few mods on this forum and should a post look to be personally attacking another member, then the thread should be deleted, the poster then warned or banned straight away.

    I find it hard to believe that certain threads can go on for such a long time before posters are banned and feel that some these threads are just used as entertainment value for the masses.

    Most, if not all forums state that that sort of behaviour will not be tolerated but unfortunately it is......for a bit. I hope this changes.
     
    17 people like this.
  2. Apr 5, 2010
  3. WagerWitch

    WagerWitch Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Yeah - like - really? Hmmm do I have to work?
    Location:
    Alaska
    I think it is more insidious than that.

    I think what happens is that people forget the difference between right and wrong.

    I think... and this is just me... that people become de-sensitized to the situation because they've seen it before and well nothing happened.... so why should they bother.

    I think - and again this is only my own personal thoughts on this matter - that people have become more prone to enjoying the dramafest - than regulating humanity within the forums.

    That's not to say I haven't been "bad" or anything - I certainly have stepped on people's toes... But I admit my mistakes and I do mean well... And I do try to learn from my mistakes.

    I also try to NEVER hurt people. I'm not perfect -but I believe most of the time I live my life that way both online and off.

    I am wordy - which can irritate people - but that is what forums are for - are they not? To communicate. Some people say "Yes." Some people say "Yes, but I think...." Me... I say "Most of the time yes... sometimes maybe and sometimes no and here are the reasons why.... etc." LOL!

    I know my faults.

    But the last three days now have been undesirable for me - and the desired effect of these posts were to MAKE ME GO AWAY...

    Plain and simple.

    Not one person stood up for me - and that hurt my feelings beyond belief. I know I can't possibly be the ONLY person to have seen the attacks.

    Still - I was even more amazed that the moderators didn't see the posts as the attacks they clearly were... Which I don't understand.

    Have they become so used to that being the "NORM" around here?

    Bashing people? Not their words mind you - BASHING THE PERSON.

    OK - not outright bashing - but underhanded cuts and snipes - which come on people... you know as well as I do that is EXACTLY what they were...

    And I'm not the first person it has happened to.

    No -- seriously - I'm not going to do the work for you - go do it yourselves - go read past posts...

    Go on... spend some time in it... Unless you already observed it first hand...

    I just can't believe all the people I have dealt with all of these years literally stood by quietly during this.

    I'm shocked a little and hurt a lot.
     
  4. Apr 5, 2010
  5. Simmo!

    Simmo! Moderator Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Web Dev.
    Location:
    England
    Moving my other post into here as it's more relevant:

    I think a lot of what is said here and in other threads, well its not *what* someone says, but the way in which they say it.

    In the majority of cases, people are banned from forums, become disliked, attract conflict or lose the respect of others without realising that this is the reason. You often see posts from banned posters on other forums saying they were banned because they said something out of turn, when in fact it was how they said it and more often than not, their lack of respect for other people's opinions.

    If everyone took on the philosophy of reading their own posts back putting themselves in a) the recipients position and b) a casual observer's position, they would probably recognise the antagonism a lot easier and the quality of posts, debates and even arguments would become a whole lot better and would also probably achieve more.

    It's human nature to think that you're right and the other guy's wrong. It's how you negotiate that obstacle that determines the end result.

    It's like the phrase "the customer is always right". We all know that's bollocks but it's misinterpreted. What it means is "the customer needs to think they are always right". The same principle applies in most conversations where there are conflicting opinions and if your aim is to get something from the other person, or to get them to alter their opinion, you often need to present a case in a way which they feel means that they don't lose face.

    My advice would be to read your posts back before you post them and see how you would react if it was aimed at you. That will help avoid a lot of the nastyness IMO.

    Cheers,

    Simmo!
     
    5 people like this.
  6. Apr 5, 2010
  7. Simmo!

    Simmo! Moderator Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Web Dev.
    Location:
    England

    It's difficult as a moderator to know where individuals draw the line. The best I can do is to judge on how I would react...it's not perfect but it's about the best I can do without understanding people's thresholds.

    I deliberately don't take part in confrontations, partly because I feel as a moderator it could get awkward, partly because I feel the best way of treating people who are rude and abnoxious is simply to ignore them.

    When I see posters responding to criticism, I make a judgement based on their attitude: if I see sensible and considered responses, I keep a close eye and might delete / edit posts etc if the criticism gets too personal. If they show aggression back, I leave them to fight it out. Invariably it ends in tears but you make your bed IMO. A *lot* of posters here report posts they feel are unfair too and that plays a big part. This thread currently has zero open complaints for what it's worth.

    IMO if you want to be confrontational, then you have to be prepared to take it too.

    I don't see my role as Moderator as being a nanny though and I certainly don't read every post and thread - I'd never get any work done! If someone has a problem with another poster and asks for help, I'll take a look and decide what action should be taken, but please don't expect me to take sides and fight battles because that's not what we're here for.

    Gambling, like politics, is emotional and will attract all sorts. You have to trust participants to use their best judgement in participating but at the end of the day I'm happy to step in if a poster PM's me asking for me to look into something or reports a post. I appreciate a lot of people find it difficult to deal with criticism and I also abhor rudeness, but it's a two-way street.

    If you think someone has been rude, report the post. We don't/can't read everything but we'll happily look into it. Until today I haven't been following your situation WW so I don't really fully know what it's about I'm afraid and no-one's reported anything which is unusual in threads where attacks are getting personal.

    Cheers

    Simmo!
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2010
    9 people like this.
  8. Apr 5, 2010
  9. WagerWitch

    WagerWitch Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Yeah - like - really? Hmmm do I have to work?
    Location:
    Alaska
    Interesting.

    I think it's because it has happened before and nothing was done. And even currently it's being "pooh poohed" off as if it was NO BIG deal.

    But it was a big deal to me.

    I mean - don't get me wrong - I can handle my own... And sheesh - Simmo - If it gets THAT bad - I can ALWAYS (grin) Out type anyone on this forum with the exclusion of JHV...

    Perhaps my style of posting irritates some - but realistically that has never been grounds for the situation that has occurred in the last couple of days.

    In my humble opinion MY situation started with the WANNABET POST - to the 3dice post by Funeral (who we made up by the way) - and then I posted an affiliate question - which got completely derailed --- and then the 4.4 post...

    I mean - it's a lotta reading - but if you know the background on folks - and you know the comments made - then you get the picture.

    I cannot - and am not the ONLY person who sees it.

    And I was shocked at the lack of response.

    Probably because people got that deer in the headlight look - or maybe the popcorn tasted really good - I dunno.

    But what I do know is that if this is NORMAL behavior and acceptable behavior then I am not sure what I think of that.

    I believe it was a organized group of "we're gonna do this to this person"...

    Call me paranoid if you will - but then go read the comments - and then --- take a day to read thru those SAME people comments -- to others - and where those people are now... hmmmm methinks most are gone - or they've slipped under the "PROTECTION - OF THOSE WHO FORCED THEM THERE" THUMBS...

    I'm not about to be forced to do anything I don't believe in.

    And I'm not gonna take being treated like dog meat by someone because I refuse to bow down to them.

    IN all HONESTY - I truly appreciate you locking the thread - because it wasn't going to go anywhere... It would be one person saying "get your head together - you're crazy - nothing was said about YOU" and me saying "yes there was - and I'm not crazy I'm also not stupid... " and so on and so forth.

    You're absolutely right - I have 2 or 3 choices - I can leave and say no sweat off my figurative testicles... or I can stay and keep trying to be ME... or I can try and stop this from happening to ME again by confronting and dealing with it - and putting it out for everyone to see...

    Remember - some of it has to do with timing... So - if you don't get the concept completely - but can feel it a little bit... You're missing the timing element...

    ANYHOW - thanks for trying to understand it...

    I'm sure there are other points of view - but right now I can only see my point of view.

    Not that I think I'm perfectly right - but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not ALL wrong.
     
  10. Apr 5, 2010
  11. Simmo!

    Simmo! Moderator Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Web Dev.
    Location:
    England
    Cool :)

    Qwerty has a point that this is happening a lot here recently. Strong personalities and all that...but I'd urge everyone to step back for a moment at times.

    Waiting 30 minutes before answering a post that makes you steam can have a very positive effect.
     
  12. Apr 5, 2010
  13. anniemac

    anniemac Ueber Meister MM PABnoaccred

    Occupation:
    retired
    Location:
    Texas, USA
    I agree with the original poster. This snipping at each other has got to stop. I personally am getting pretty fed up with reading about people making jabs and rude comments, some being down right nasty. When it gets personal, that's enough.

    Let's get back to the purpose of this forum and quit the other crap.
     
    4 people like this.
  14. Apr 5, 2010
  15. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!
    Webzcas said something in a thread that alot of people should always remember and adhere to but dont before they type, behind a computer is a live person.

    A computer can be a powerful tool or it can be used as a weapon by some to be hurtful and spiteful without giving cause that the someone who sits there reading that computer screen has feelings and emotions as well.

    I think your a great person and poster WW and we can agree to disagree on certain things as no two people think alike, this is a good thing imo.

    Whats not good is to get caught up in a feeding frenzy brought on by some and that can be due to a fault in human nature as we all have been guilty of it at one time or another and if i for one have hurt your feelings in any way, im truely sorry, im trying to picture the person behind the keyboard from now on:)

    Laurie
     
    3 people like this.
  16. Apr 5, 2010
  17. Dangerous53

    Dangerous53 Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    retired
    Location:
    In the wind
    I agree with OP as well, and I already stated in another thread....

    /opinion
     
  18. Apr 5, 2010
  19. WagerWitch

    WagerWitch Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Yeah - like - really? Hmmm do I have to work?
    Location:
    Alaska

    Aggg posting from bed on cell... LMAO can't sleep anyways.

    Thank you much.

    I agree so much about being able to debate and share opinions without personal hurt... and that everyone has feelings behind the computer screens.

    And hells no I don't want everyone thinking the same way as my opinion.. I would never learn anything.. I love a good debate or conversation where people have differing opinions and share them. OPENLY. Without the need to be ridiculed.

    Ok really I have to close my eyes now...

    But EVERYONE. Know this... I think we should be a community controlled by caring friendship... hospitality... kindness.... instead of being driven by anger hatred and vindictiveness...

    I think I am part of this communty for we are not just CM but gamblers online...
     
  20. Apr 5, 2010
  21. Simmo!

    Simmo! Moderator Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Web Dev.
    Location:
    England
    LOL...I don't think we need a love-in ;) It's just about respecting other people's opinions. Also, when you are "arguing", if you show tact, diplomacy and respect, you are far more likely to get a result going your way. Plus impartial observers will appreciate you more for it.

    So in essence, you can still *think* they're an a-hole...just don't show it :D
     
    4 people like this.
  22. Apr 5, 2010
  23. bb28

    bb28 Meister Member

    Occupation:
    Customer Service
    Location:
    US
    I don't even know where to start......but I'm hoping I can convey my thoughts clearly.

    First off........about the mob mentality that Wager Witch insists there is That's total BS! WW is the one who kept insisiting that it was a personal attack and it clearly was not and I think anyone could see that had she not kept insisting that it was over and over and now it's the poor me thing, others are picking on me. When I started that thread last night I should have titled it differently but it was not aimed at her, it was a question posed to players and affiliates but because of the title of it, there she went.....on and on in post after post defending herself and going on and on about some personal attack. It just was not true......wasn't then, and its still not today.
    This is all a big bunch of shit!

    Is it a mob because you agree with someone or you thank their post because they have made some points you agree with? Mob mentality my azz and yes I happen to agree with Lisa/Pina and others on a lot of things does that make us a mob, no, does that make us like minded and having similar views, yes I guess it does, but last time I checked, that isn't a crime nor is it breaking the rules here. Who the hell has time for kindergarten games. I don't. Am I outspoken sometimes, yes sometimes I am, do I piss people off sometimes, yes I'm sure I do, but its not because of some personal vendetta, I've got better things to do. I have an opinion and last time I checked it's OK to have one even if it isn't the popular format or god forbid it might hurt someone's feelings. I don't try to be downright mean and snooty about it, but there are times when someone needs to say what others are thinking but they won't say it because they don't want to ruffle feathers, so excuse me for not being PC enough in this post.
     
    8 people like this.
  24. Apr 5, 2010
  25. RedAndi

    RedAndi Winter is Coming

    Occupation:
    Lazing
    Location:
    US
    I have hesitated in responding to this because I did not want to contribute to the shitstorm and I am not really up on all the issues with the people invilved, etc.
    However, I did want to say that what Pina posted about the rule and rogue sites and affiliates seemed pretty rational and fair to me.
    AGAIN, I do not know the background of the peeps involved or if there were ulterior motives or whatever.
    But to me it seems logical if a casino is rogued (or on the rogue page for whatever reason) you probably should be wary of linking to it. If I was an affiliate maybe I would feel the same as Witch and wait and give the casino a chance (it is business after all), but I don't think I would have gotten so angry about the rule being brought up.
     
    2 people like this.
  26. Apr 5, 2010
  27. just play

    just play closed account

    Occupation:
    Director of Home Operations
    Location:
    USA
    I'm glad you read Simmo's post right above yours.


    This is what is going to happen now...the people that were saying insulting stuff to other people will come here and try and place blame like they did nothing wrong. "It was just my opinion, I have an opinion too, I'm allowed to agree with others" etc. etc. etc.

    That my dear is Total BS
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2010
  28. Apr 5, 2010
  29. bb28

    bb28 Meister Member

    Occupation:
    Customer Service
    Location:
    US
    Sorry I'm not in on the love in or the group hug. :D Want to show me the post where I insulted WW? BTW.......I did apologize to her when she felt that I singled her out even though I didn't. This has gone beyond that and there have been some pot shots taken at me in this thread, so what do you think I'm supposed to do, not say what I think and feel?
     
  30. Apr 5, 2010
  31. just play

    just play closed account

    Occupation:
    Director of Home Operations
    Location:
    USA
    I don't want to get into it, just re-read your above post.
     
    1 person likes this.
  32. Apr 5, 2010
  33. Simmo!

    Simmo! Moderator Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Web Dev.
    Location:
    England
    Is anyone else seeing the irony in this thread :D
     
    1 person likes this.
  34. Apr 5, 2010
  35. bb28

    bb28 Meister Member

    Occupation:
    Customer Service
    Location:
    US
    I see it, but it might not be the same one you see. ;)
     
  36. Apr 5, 2010
  37. AussieDave

    AussieDave Dodgy whacko backstabber

    Occupation:
    Gaming SEO Specialist & Casino Webmaster
    Location:
    Australia
    ummm yes :D


    Was reading another thread and this was said. It's certainly true for this medium; it's spot on :thumbsup:

    There are times when peeps get hot under the collar and things get said, insults fly and it turns into a flame feast. Get a couple of 1000 peeps all with different opinions and someone is going to misinterpret a post(s).

    Unfortunately that's the nature of the beast.

    IMO you can set a forum up with every safe guard imaginable but people have personalities they are not robots.


    Cheers

    :)

    Dave
     
    6 people like this.
  38. Apr 5, 2010
  39. NASHVEGAS

    NASHVEGAS Banned User - flamming, disrespecting admin,

    Occupation:
    LOL
    Location:
    MERS
    I realize each post stands on it's own merit and it takes only one post to damage.

    That said, blame me for my initial post that was arrogant, sarcastic, opininated and factual among other descriptions. There was also a sincere apology (thus the two smilies) for my arrogance in this same post plus an acknowledgement that I could understand how one could be confused by the categories of The Rogue Pit in defense of Wagerwitch's possible misunderstanding(s) and thereby my possible incorrect insinuations.

    After my initial post, I am not sure how you (or anyone else) can single out anyone. It took more than one party on what at times simply was absurd, insane and granted much more. There were voices of reason during the chaos including BB's (but that is JMO).

    The above said, just for giggles, I did count (+ or-) the number of hanging chads aka number of posts that occurred in the two threads by the main culprits after my initial post less than 24 hours ago. The only conclusion from below, imo , is the finger can be pointed at all et al.

    WW=40
    BB=13
    Pina=9
    NashV=4
    JSteed=4
     
    3 people like this.

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