I'm such an idiot to start playing online again!

[Rusty]

That is a very intelligent, eloquent and informative post Lojo.
Thanks and I hope he takes your advice.

 

[Pepmintpatty]

Let It Ride, starring Richard Dreyfuss, is the name of my all time favorite gambling movie about horse racing. Maybe you've seen it, if not you should! (It's about us)

IMHO, you need to stop beating up on yourself & take this one step at a time. Is this urgent? Yes, and you've chosen wrong - again, but it's ok. We think we can handle the situations when they come. But we all know "life comes at you fast". And it can always be worse. It takes some of us, many breaking point moments before we get the lesssons correct, so that we can proceed with the next chapter in our lives. Perhaps, you'll choose correctly the next time.

Just a short story: My husband & I met a woman who was on our charter to AC. Everytime we went, which was frequent, she was also there. During our flight, we began to talk about how excited we were, & couldn't wait to get there kind of stuff! She said, she loved to gamble. And then began to tell me stories, about her hits & misses. She did say, she had always managed to get through the down times. I saw her periodically during our junket & she was still playing!

The next day, about 20 minutes before we were to leave for the airport, I saw her hit for $3500.00, she was all happy. I went over and congratulated her, and I said, you managed to do that just in time, as were ready to leave! She said, she was taking the limo back to the plane, instead of the bus. I told her I'd see her on the plane and as I walked away, I turned to see her dropping chips into a $100.00 machine.

We got on the plane and about 15 minutes later she got on. The look on her face, made the pit of my stomach sick. I just knew. She said, "you did see me with the money in my hand, didn't you?" I said, "yes." That woman sat down beside me, put her face in her hands, took a deep breath and didn't exhale for a long time. I actually, thought I was going to have to slap her! Finally, she let out one of the longest "breathe outs" I've ever witnessed. Then she said, I gave up a day's pay to come to AC; today, I bought $2500.00 in markers, & when I get home, my house payment is due, past due. I had exactly what I needed and blew it." She opened her purse, took out her wallet, there was her yellow marker slips, & tucked away a $20 bill. She said, I'm so glad I forgot about this, cause I wouldn't have been able to get out of airport parking.

"When will I stop doing this, she said?" And I said, when you get "tired". of feeling this way. She closed her eyes and never said another word the rest of the flight. That was the last time I ever saw her. This was truly gut wrenching, I'll never forget it.

Let it Ride, there's a name for people who "just" do the right things all the time, & a name for those of us that don't - NO - not smart & stupid! Seriously, we will continue to suffer, until we have wholeheartly decided that there's a better way. My hope is that you will seek that avenue. You have the desire, you need only to dig deep & find the strength to say, no more, I'm tired, then make the steps needed to succeed. Then I believe you'll find the peace, which so many of us long to have. Best wishes to you, know that you have a special purpose in the world, and don't forget to love yourself.

 

[AudiManinBoro]

To me this is a little bit of a grey area question. I can see perspective from both sides. If you are an alcoholic and voluntarily of your own free will enter a pub and purchase alcoholic beverages, is it the pubs fault for serving you or the person who lacked the willpower to avoid alcohol to begin with? I agree casinos should help people with gambling addictions but for how long for? if after a year a person comes back and wishes to reopen their account regardless of whether or not they have cured their addiction ( and by going back it appears not) is the casino really held accountable? Many people forget that in all honesty they are NOT here for you the customer and what makes you happy! They are a business and are out to generate money, if they can satisfy their customers at the same time great if not i dont really believe that they care.If you are a bad driver and write off car after car, is the car salesroom morally obligated to say no sorry mrs whatever you cant buy this car now because your just not a good enough driver? Course not, they sell the car regardless. At the end of the day casinos may assist people with their addictions, but it is not their problem ultimately, they just want your money as all businesses do, regardless of product sold.

 

[frufrugirl]

Lojo, I went to the site you mentioned and read thru the information and continued on to the "bullets", lol, I like that name.
Basically it was a reconfirmation of what I am doing, I think it would be very useful for gamblers who wish to quit, to put a name on the urges that come, as named on the site..."the beast." I like the idea of naming it because the "Ill just play $20" voices that come are co mingled in our own thoughts and if separated and id'd have less weight.
I still occasionally have the "beast" tell me "it would be nice to go play just $20.00 at the casino..", I just say "shut up" and tell it to go back it's cave! lololol..am over 35 days gamble free and no longer have the urges to gamble that used to make me break out in a cold sweat. A quick "shut up" always works and a redirection to "hmmmm what can we do today?" is now a part of my regular thought process when the "beast" shows up. I recognise the urge for what it is, just an urge and nothing more. It cant make me gamble. It has no arms, it has no legs. As a result I can still enjoy reading this forum and others because I seriously enjoy the gaming industry news, but, I choose to never play again, real or free play.

Regarding the online industry and self exclusion. I can understand the outrage the OP is feeling. I dont know exactly what the rage is really directed at, from not being given the winnings or being ticked off at himself for going back online or at the Casinos for letting him back in. Maybe all of them. I have read many a story of a CG "testing" the system and falling hard again when a hole is discovered. The majority of them did not have Gamblock in place. One woman, after she recovered from her gambling spree, admitted she did it "accidently on purpose" lol.

I do think if a person is strong enough to cancel their accounts and self exclude, and asks for a lifetime exclusion, it should be honored. I dont think however, that an online casino should be required to become a detective to keep this player out. (the individual casino or Group wouldnt have to if they offered 100percent exclusion) Its too expensive and time consuming and those costs may be passed on to people that do like to play and can do it responsibly.

Now, if the OP wants to stop online gambling bravo! He needs to get his barriers in place once more and go for it again! I think a valuable lesson was learned and by posting it may save others from repeating his mistake. Programs that are specifically made to deny access to gambling and have no other function but to do that are much more reliable than the Casinos themselves as it is true, the Casinos, both honorable and unhonorable , want our dollars. Block programs along with other barriers need to be in place.

I know the pain that is felt with out of control gambling and I support him/her in his quest to stop. I'll be rooting for him and think it would be worth while to check out the site lojo mentioned, if other help has failed, or just for a "what have i got to loose if I check it out?"

Best wishes to all, excellent thread!

 

[lojo]

frufrugirl, I think whenever people quit anything self-destructive, they do it alone, so to speak; they do it of their own volition, regardlerss of the method or program they use. That is just an opinion, and I certainly wouldn't argue with someone who believes a group, or 'higher power' or anything else was what gave them relief.

But, you saying that AVRT is basically what you do anyway, really adds another 'case' of it being true to me.

Some people would be put-off by the RR site, because Jack is sooooo 'anti-12-step' and for good reason, if a person is willing to look at the rates of 'recovery' with an open mind and not rely on urban myths and anecdotal evidence as well as the media hype.

I'm glad you are doing well with your choice. I would tend to think there are more people here who may not be doing themselves the best of favors gambling. I would certainly never judge that, it is totally up to the person to determine if they are addicted.

I like the RR 'test'... do you feel both ways about it? Ambivelant? That's all that's needed to self determine addiction imho.

Good luck frufru I hope the OP or any one else with a problem will seek out any and all avenues of wellness and end the desperation with freedom and mastery.

 

[frufrugirl]

I started with an online support group that helped pull my head out of the sand. I read their stories , journal and post. They have been a blessing and and eye opener, couldnt have done it without their help. The avrt method developed with my growing confidence. Now if someone could just start with AVRT that would be so much easier! lolol!

 

[sirius]

oh how right you are, the casinos are not to blame, they've been as good as gold, how dare I dis them!

kick me one more time then I'll be off and kill myself

thanks spin palace, thanks 32Red, you guys bleed me dry last year and then you took the last few drops this time around, permanent should MEAN permanent. If a B&M casino let an excluded player in again they would be fined in a court of law. It really is a shame because I considered you both to be good casinos but if you can't get it right then there is no hope for the online industry.

and while I'm at it, I really hate this thanking system, you guys keep thanking each other not because of the post but because of who posted it, and then add nothing to the thread yourself

bye.

I'm not surprised 32Red let you reopen your account. Some time ago I blacklisted them after they mislead players and encouraged gambling addiction in a sham Roulette article published in a high circulation UK magazine. They were blacklisted not because of the article/advert they let slip through, but that they had the power to address the issue but did nothing about it, even suggesting they had many new players induced to play from it. Therefore, they were more than happy to forget it and count the profits. Also, an affiliate manager even implied that they needed such players in their business. Sadly, Casinomeister didn't see much wrong and awarded them Casino of the Year again about a month afterwards.

 

[Casinomeister]

I'm not surprised 32Red let you reopen your account. Some time ago I blacklisted them after they mislead players and encouraged gambling addiction in a sham Roulette article published in a high circulation UK magazine. They were blacklisted not because of the article/advert they let slip through, but that they had the power to address the issue but did nothing about it, even suggesting they had many new players induced to play from it. Therefore, they were more than happy to forget it and count the profits. Also, an affiliate manager even implied that they needed such players in their business. Sadly, Casinomeister didn't see much wrong and awarded them Casino of the Year again about a month afterwards.

This article was discussed in depth - it's archived somewhere, I'm sure someone can dig it up if they want. Sirius came across as someone with a chip on his shoulder, as he is now.

Anyway, 32red outlined how they handle problem gamblers in my webcast 4 Feb 2004:
Old URL

This is the first I've read this thread, and I'll have someone at 32Red look into this ASAP to see exactly what happened.

@Sirius
That's the last time that you'll be posting here. For those wondering what's up with this guy. He's a webmaster who occasionally posts in this forum - usually to have a dig at me or Casinomeister - mostly with misinformation. Anyone here can search through his previous postings to see what I'm talking about. He's been warned enough times that this is unacceptable for webmasters. I don't go to his forum and harass him.

Also, your 9 June PAB against gaming.lastminute.com just got trashed. Go bother someone else with your problems. Thanks!

Bye, dude.

 

[mucullus]

6 month ban, BS, when I closed my account I was told it was a life ban and also my details would be shared with MG database so I could never play at an MG casino again, well I have news for ya, I can still play at MG casinos

If this is true, I would lose my trust in eCOGRA. I mean the process and consequences of a casino exclusion should be one of the crystal clear basics of an eCOGRA certification.

 

[dominique]

I really do think when a problem gambler asks to have their account closed it should be for life and across the software.

Addicts cannot be cured, there is a high possibility of a relapse.

That said, anyone wanting to quit needs to install gamblock on all computers.

If you have a problem, you also need to ask any portals you use to block your IP.

Every barrier helps by postponing the relapse. Trying to find a way around your blocks gives additional time to think and get the better of the impulse.

 

[Let_It_Ride]

This is the first I've read this thread, and I'll have someone at 32Red look into this ASAP to see exactly what happened.

thanks, I too would like to see what they have to say about the following 3 points

1. if last year we had agreed a permanent exclusion, what happened here why was I able to get my account reopened?

2. one of the requirements laid out by 32red was to put in place deposit limits, we agreed 200GBP per day (had 4K per day last year ) so how come on my first day I was able to deposit 300GBP? I'd deposited 100, 100 and then started chasing.

3. why did you decide to close my account last week, after reading this post on a public forum as you said in your email, that's a bit like making a business decision after you overhear a conversation in the pub.

If this is true, I would lose my trust in eCOGRA. I mean the process and consequences of a casino exclusion should be one of the crystal clear basics of an eCOGRA certification.

it's true, if it wasn't then the rep here would have jumped all over this by now. I'm still waiting for spin palace to reply to me why they let me play on the 18th it they then on the 21st wanted confirmation if I was an addict or not.

 

[Casinomeister]

Actually, 32red is having a meeting about this tonight and should be posting a statement sometime tomorrow.

 

[Ed Ware]

Firstly I would like to confirm that 32Red takes responsible gambling very seriously. Our player support team are trained in how to handle instances of problem gamblers (this training includes sessions delivered by a GamCare employee here in Gibraltar) and we have policies and procedures in place to protect the player and help us manage the closure of accounts. In addition, we have a Responsible Gambling Committee as part of our PLC committee structure and responsibilities.

Reviewing the very first post in this thread it appears that either 32Red is Let_It_Ride’s “casino 2”, or it could be construed that this is the case. For the avoidance of doubt, if the details of “casino 2” are supposed to represent what has taken place at 32Red then it is factually incorrect on a number of points. Instead of documenting the actual sequence of events, which highlights that our procedures were followed by our player support team, I will move on. However, if Let_It_Ride would like a report of what took place, then I am able to provide that for you privately; please PM me if so. This may help you see that, if “Casino 2” is supposed to be 32Red, then you have been a little unfair on us.

In answer to the 3 points you raise in your most recent post:

thanks, I too would like to see what they have to say about the following 3 points

1. if last year we had agreed a permanent exclusion, what happened here why was I able to get my account reopened?

There was not a permanent ban in place from last year. Indeed, you believed it was one year ban as per your correspondence with us.

2. one of the requirements laid out by 32red was to put in place deposit limits, we agreed 200GBP per day (had 4K per day last year ) so how come on my first day I was able to deposit 300GBP? I'd deposited 100, 100 and then started chasing.

It is correct that the daily limit did not activate immediately and the player deposited 300 whereas his limit was 200.

3. why did you decide to close my account last week, after reading this post on a public forum as you said in your email, that's a bit like making a business decision after you overhear a conversation in the pub.?

We don’t see this as a business decision, we see it as our responsibility to act on important and reliable information affecting one of our players. That’s why we closed this account as opposed to allowing the situation to continue when we discovered what was going on. It would have been better to have let us know directly though. We don’t see the information in this thread as being anything like being a conversation overheard in a pub.


The evidence is that we have always attempted to do our best by Let_It_Ride and the fact that Let_It_Ride has acknowledged this himself to us leaves me a little disappointed that events have unfolded as they have. However, the only concern we all have here is for the player so again I’ll move on.

The thread and the views of forum members on how problem gambling issues should be dealt with – specifically the timespan of the banning of players – is something we will examine both internally and with the assistance of experts in the field of problem gambling.

Kind regards

Ed.

 

[Pinababy69]

Let It Ride, Please Get Help

Ed, thanks for clarification on the length of the self-exclusion. This was the one point that I was concerned about. I would hope that 32Red will NEVER allow this player to re-open their account again? And that also goes to Spin Palace, and to any other reps who read this board, and are aware of the problems.

Let It Ride, I have thought long and hard about posting this. I don't want to come across as cold-hearted or uncaring, but to you I know that I will. I'm going to say these things because I think you seriously need to seek professional help, if you can't do it on your own. And it certainly seems that you can't. Take it from someone who has kicked almost every addiction there is, it can be done. I've been fortunate that I've always been able to do it on my own, before I ever let anything get hold of me to the point where I hit rock bottom. That doesn't make me a better person than you, nor does it make you less of a person because you can't seem to do it alone. I've just been fortunate, that's all.

I vaguely remembered from your posting history that you seemed to have an inordinate amount of complaints against casinos that generally bring very few. So I went back and re-read a good portion of your 175 posts on this board. Quite a few of them deal with Spin Palace and 32Red. One week you would hate them and be posting of a problem, the next you would be praising them to high heaven, then back to hating them, and so on. You have previously closed your accounts with both of them, and then went on to re-open them again. Although in that case, I don't believe it was a self-exclusion, going on your posts. You have also been fighting with the "I'm quitting gambling period" for about a year and a half on this forum.

Some of the statements you've made in regards to gambling have been totally contradictory. You love it, you hate it, you can quit, you can't quit, the casinos are responsible for money management, the casinos aren't responsible for managing your money.

In this post, you praise Virgin Casino for allowing you to set deposit limits. And I'm with you on that, I think it's a great idea and should be implemented everywhere, on every software.

if only I was this strong, I always start of with a limit in my mind but once I hit those tables I go on TILT and end up depositing far more than I should.

That's why I only have an account with one casino now, Virgin, it's not the sexist casino but it does offer 'player protection' where you set your own deposit limits, and it works for the last few days when I try to deposit it won't let me and reminds me that I've set limits. I find I have more money in the bank and more time.

This post was from a thread where we had been discussing casinos who will flush a withdrawal, but then allow you to reverse it anyway if you write to support. I had commented about a particular casino, and that it didn't surprise me they allowed this. I didn't use the word sleazy, but the implication was there. You totally disagreed with me, and posted this:

they're damned if they do and damned if they don't, The way I see it is the casino provided the player a service he asked for, it is not up to them to tell u how to manage your money!

By that statement, you seem to believe that a casino is NOT responsible for you, or for your actions. In this post, you once again fully subscribe to the fact that we are all responsible for ourselves, and the decision to stop doing something that is harmful to us, has to come from us.

So again great timing you lastest post has given me a slap in the face and made me realise time to slow down, I say slow down because I'm not ready to stop just yet and don't think I want to, gambling in in my blood!

It doesn't matter how many people shout it or say it gently with an arm around our shoulders to join GA, The only ppl who can decide is us and we will when we are ready.

Quitting online gaming is but a first step for you, and I'm not entirely convinced that gambling itself is the problem. I think that gambling may only be a symptom of whatever demons are chasing you. You can be self-excluded from every casino on the internet (a good first step), but you will still have to deal with the other forms of gambling that are available. And there is definitely a problem there as well.

B&M casino in London a few years back, was up 6000 even had it all cashed in and had a pocket full of crisp 50 notes. Gave it all back except 200 before the night was out, I was sick all the way home and slept the rest of the weekend.

The point to all this Let It Ride, is that in reading your posts...I could feel your frustration, your anxiety and your depression. I highlighted some of them here, because I wanted you to see it as well. You don't seem to know from one day to the next how you feel. You seem lost. You mentioned in a previous post in this thread that you had been diagnosed as clinically depressed, and were taking medication. Can you not see that you are walking a tightrope without a safety net? Please don't become another statistic that we read about in some study on online gaming, or gambling in general. Get yourself the help that you so desperately need.

As I mentioned previously, online gaming is just the first step and simply having yourself self-excluded from a few casinos or even Microgaming is not going to help you. Because there will always be an RTG or a Playtech or any one of a thousand proprietary softwares that will be only too happy to take your action. You need to be blocked from any and all gaming sites, including this forum and all other gambling forums. Gamblock may do the trick. If not, then unplug your computer and have your internet service disconnected. You cannot rely on others to do what you need to do yourself. In regards to B&M casinos, can you speak to management and have yourself excluded there as well? If so, do it immediately. Unfortunately, there are other forms of gambling that will always be available to you. If a 12-step program doesn't work for you, then try something else. As someone else mentioned, there are a truckload of resources available to people who need assistance. There is a member of this forum who is a reformed gambling addict himself, and is involved in various help programs in the UK. I don't feel comfortable posting his handle, but if you want to PM me, I will tell you who it is and I can guarantee you that he would be more than willing to point you in whatever direction you'd like to take.

And last but not least, continue to see your doctor, and don't hold back. Make sure that he/she knows how serious this whole situation is. Please don't look at this post as trying to kick you when you're down, or with taking any casino's side. This post is about trying to get YOU to see how serious this is, and to try and get you to take that first step. You are exactly the type of person that so many of us were so vehement about trying to protect last year in regards to the Jackpot Factory advertising scandal. Playing slots does NOT cure depression, and it does NOT prevent people from committing suicide. Matter of fact, it can do exactly the opposite.

I truly wish you the best.

And for God's sake, to any casino operators who read this....do not ever let this person play at any of your casinos again. PERIOD.

 

[Let_It_Ride]

@Ed

Reviewing the very first post in this thread it appears that either 32Red is Let_It_Rides casino 2, or it could be construed that this is the case.

There was not a permanent ban in place from last year. Indeed, you believed it was one year ban as per your correspondence with us.

It is correct that the daily limit did not activate immediately and the player deposited 300 whereas his limit was 200.

1. clearly stated in my first post 'casino2' = spin palace

2. please read my post of 9th June where I pasted part of email from one of your managers that clearly states my exclusion was 'permanent'

3. lots of casinos allow the player to set the deposit limits directly online and they take effect immediately, so why not at 32Red

Please don't think I'm being unfair, in fact I wish I could control my gambling and if I could the one casino I would like to play at would be 32Red

In my post I was crying out for help and thank many people here for their sound advise, but I also wanted to highlight that online casinos need to do more towards helping addicts. You've come on here, you've listened and say you will look into your procedures, I thank you for that and feel some good has come out of my post.

 

[Casinomeister]

Hi Let_it_ride,

Have you checked out this section yet?
https://www.casinomeister.com/quit-gambling/

There are a number of good tips on how to stop gambling.

 

[Let_It_Ride]

Let It Ride, I have thought long and hard about posting this. I don't want to come across as cold-hearted or uncaring, but to you I know that I will.

and you were spot on! did you really think digging through my past threads and pointing out my short comings was really going to help?

my life is crap, I'm afraid of everyone and everything and this week I lost my job. Gambling is the only thing that gives me a little pleasure for a small amount of time, it allows me to dream cause the reality ain't worth crap.

if you've been there then you know kicking someone when they are at their lowest DOES NOT help! so why do it?

 

[Pinababy69]

I'm editing this whole thing...forget it. I knew you would take it as you did. You are NOT ready to quit, and you're only fooling yourself if you say you are.

Seeing that I upset you so much, I won't post again in this thread. I'm sorry about your job, and best of luck to you with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Vesuvio]

1. clearly stated in my first post 'casino2' = spin palace

I must admit I was also confused about which casino was which. You talk about casinos in general and then state: "Casino in question spin palace", though re-reading I get your point.

What does suprise me is that you don't seem particularly upset about 32Red withholding winnings. That strikes me as an incredible decision, just compounding the mistake of letting you play in the first place.

You try to use that mistaken decision by 32Red as a reason to get back your money from Spin Palace. I do agree Spin Palace made a mistake, but if you slip past the system bets should still stand. If you'd won a progressive jackpot you wouldn't be asking Spin Palace to void it.

That said, this is an important issue and it's good that you've raised it. At the moment it looks like eCogra casinos are only organised to impose the 6-month voluntary exclusion included in the regulations. Hopefully casinos will look at longer/permanent exclusions and automated systems to catch anyone trying to re-register. Though of course anyone who's hell bent on gambling will still find a way.

 

[happygobrokey]

ed is good people. he'll probably toss ya a free credit for the mix-up ZOMG JOKING

 

[frufrugirl]

In regards to Pinyababy's post, Let-it-Ride, she has been here a loonnnnnggg time and undoubtably has come to think of the members here as family. The fact that she researched you posts, then posted in the manner that she did, gently, with care and obvousily with heart and experience, only reinforces her concern for your well being.
I recognize the highs and lows in you posts, they clearly reflect your state of mind in regards to gambling, you just can't see it yourself yet. Don't shoot the messenger for the things that you have posted yourself. Her advice was sound and would be found on any self help website. You are angry at the Casinos for letting you gamble again. We are with you on that. Your life maybe crap right now but there is life after gambling. I know there is.

I PM'd you a couple of days ago with a website that has one -one -online help, Group theraphy online, but best of all, hundreds of threads from people telling their stories of CG and then helping others with their experience and advice. You will see yourself (as did I) in their posts and it may help you realize you are not alone in your struggle and stopping is doable.

That is all I have to say on this subject also. We are rooting for you.

 

[cheekymonkey]

...and this week I lost my job.

Come in boat number 3! Your time is up!

Let_It_Ride - you gotta see this as a wake up call. Stop posting on here, forget this whole internet gambling debacle for a while and sort it out.

You can't possibly survive that easily without a job, so drop all this shit and get out there and find yourself a new job from which you can start to rebuild your self respect.

GL.

 

[Pinababy69]

Frufrugirl, thank you for "getting" the intention of my post. And LIR, I never meant to upset you, I just want you to see what's in front of you, nothing more than that.

 

[Let_It_Ride]

I'm editing this whole thing...forget it. I knew you would take it as you did. You are NOT ready to quit, and you're only fooling yourself if you say you are.

thought you were going to edit, just can't let go can ya?

anyway I couldn't leave without saying good bye and a very special thanks to you pina for making me feel completely WORTHLESS, I mean going into my past threads, what's that all about? someone else did that last year and got a really slagging, you do it and get thanked, just shows again it's not what you post but who posts it!!!

as always you are right I'm NOT ready to quit gambling, but I am ready to QUIT.

over and out......................

 

[mrracetrack]

thought you were going to edit, just can't let go can ya?

anyway I couldn't leave without saying good bye and a very special thanks to you pina for making me feel completely WORTHLESS, I mean going into my past threads, what's that all about? someone else did that last year and got a really slagging, you do it and get thanked, just shows again it's not what you post but who posts it!!!

as always you are right I'm NOT ready to quit gambling, but I am ready to QUIT.

over and out......................

Just my "2 cents" on this...

Pinababy was trying to be helpful by posting what she did.

Let_It_Ride... your anger and frustration is being misdirected... you need to accept responsibility for your actions... and stop "blaming" everyone else for the problems you're going through.

To be totally honest... the LAST PLACE you should be spending time is on this forum... you need to avoid all things related to gambling.

I feel for you, Let_It_Ride... and hope you get some relief and help with your problems... but you won't get that here.