This is the end for me.

[nepatsfan01]

My thoughts are with you believe me... I have been there, done that. As recently as a few days ago! Last year I realized I was gambling a bit compulsively so I put a limit on the only casino that I didn't sign myself out of. It kept me in line for a year. Until one day this past weekend I went there and realized the limits were lifted (probably because I had taken a few months off because it was so hard to deposit anywhere!) It was like a year ago all over again. I put in $300 (which was all I had in spending money but I could afford that)... Thankfully I was one of the rare lucky ones that won.

But fast forward 12 hours later and I was depositing another $300 and then another $300 and then another $200 until I had actually broke even with what I won. I could have at any point live chatted with them to restrict my limits again but I didn't. Until it was all gone. So, yes, I'm back to where I started and I'm SO thankful for that. I put the limits back on and I'm good now. But I was lucky. VERY lucky. I could have bankrupted my account very easily and if I hadn't won I would have. I was on a mission. And it is like you're possessed when you're doing that - it is very scary.

But in the past, many years ago, I haven't been that lucky and lost everything, bill money, food money, the whole thing. I walked away from gambling for 5 years. I can appreciate that people are telling you to borrow money, that in a few months it'll be good, and you can pay off your debt gradually. But what you need is advice for right now. The immediate. I get that. Right now it seems like your whole world is gone.

My advice? It's what I did actually. I literally sold everything that I could touch. Not sure if Craigslist is big there? But that's what I did. Video games, movies, desks, tools, dressers, gaming systems, stereos, tv's, literally as much as I could until I made the money I needed for food and bills. It sucks. I was without some furniture for a long time. My husband didn't trust me. But I told him and even though he was angry beyond words he helped me and even sold some of his most prized possessions. But it gets you out of the hole you are in. I did $20 at a time. Seriously. It doesn't be worth a lot, doesn't have to be expensive. It just has to get you $10 or $20 at a time. It will add up. It will be a lot of work, but it will get you food.

Trust me, this will teach you one of the most valuable lessons you will ever learn. I wish you luck. All the other advice people have given you is great - print this out. Read it. Memorize it. And most of all - walk away from the online gambling. Good luck!!

 

[cappync]

You need to tell your fiance. She will find out eventually and the more honest you are about the situation now, the more forgiving she will be. In my opinion, it's really tough to build a marriage on lies.

Good luck , your daughter is beautiful. She should be plenty of motivation for you. Be strong, we have all been there in some capacity.

 

[Jasminebed]

I think if you are serious about quitting, and you need to be, you MUST tell your girlfriend. If you don't and you are trying to hide behaviour, that means you are not done being an addict.

Group meetings for gambling addicts are out there, and she will have to know about what's taking you out of the house twice a week!

If you can't find the words, say "Honey, I want you to come here and read something."

Show her thread.

You have a family, she needs to be part of your recovery. Telling your fiance is part of owning your problem. And it needs to be done soon, before payments start bouncing and you pile up a bunch of bank fees as well. I know I'd help if I was her.

And yes, she will probably cry, and I know I'd have to yell a little, but at the end of the day you are parents and a team.

The longer you delay telling her, the worse the fallout will be. It will come to light, so beg her for her help.

While we try to help, we are just a bunch of strangers.

 

[Jasminebed]

I will get denied whatever loan i apply for since i have a bad credit, and i never want a bank loan again. Thanks for the advice though. I have asked one friend, he said he wanted to help me so much but he didnt have any money for it.

I had a terrible credit rating, and it's because of my past gambling. I've had serious issues in the past, and as long as you can borrow your way out of the problem and keep secrets, you are at risk of the same behaviour.

I was an irresponsible gambler for a long time. My mom bailed me out once. My kid grew up without cable tv so I could have gambling money. The first time I risked the rent, I got lucky enough to win, only a little bit, but as $100 $100 $100 sank into the slot machines, you get sick and desparate.

I do know.

And I do know you need to get help. And it's not the money to bail you out right now. I've had that kind of "help", it just extends facing the issue.

Very little of gambling is about money. For me, online gambling is a bit of a harm reduction strategy, and I think you need a period of abstinence and some counselling to see what it is gambling is for you.

I am rooting for you, I know what a hard road financial recovery is.

Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if you cleaned the house top to bottom before you tell her! Then you can find stuff to sell.

 

[hoff1985]

Every really addicted gambler will get to this point once. As sad as the situation is, sometimes it needs a "big (s)hit" to really flush our minds.

I was once already totally fucked up, invested a 100$ and got up to 18'000$ in 30 minutes, that would have helped me sooooo much, but i continued gambling and lost it all. That's when i realized that i need to change. Some gamblers then can handle it in a good way, others don't.

First priority in life should always be your family, if you can't handle gambling, completely stop it.

REGARDING THE MONEY:

There's always a solution. When i remember my tougher gambling times i had situations that were also pretty damn shitty moneywise, somehow you will handle it, and next month you will have a full salary again, without any part of it lost because of gambling, see it this way.

I wish you a lot of strength during this though time. You already made the biggest step: Seeing the problem and deciding to stop gambling.

I also agree STRONGLY with the fact that you need to tell your fiance. She will understand and you can definitely need her support in stopping gambling.

Godspeed,
Hoff

 

[Respin_Ftw]

I had a terrible credit rating, and it's because of my past gambling. I've had serious issues in the past, and as long as you can borrow your way out of the problem and keep secrets, you are at risk of the same behaviour.

I was an irresponsible gambler for a long time. My mom bailed me out once. My kid grew up without cable tv so I could have gambling money. The first time I risked the rent, I got lucky enough to win, only a little bit, but as $100 $100 $100 sank into the slot machines, you get sick and desparate.

I do know.

And I do know you need to get help. And it's not the money to bail you out right now. I've had that kind of "help", it just extends facing the issue.

Very little of gambling is about money. For me, online gambling is a bit of a harm reduction strategy, and I think you need a period of abstinence and some counselling to see what it is gambling is for you.

I am rooting for you, I know what a hard road financial recovery is.

Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if you cleaned the house top to bottom before you tell her! Then you can find stuff to sell.

Same behaviour? I have closed all of the good casinos for good. I have put myself on the block lists available. It isnt like i will play rouges just to play. When this is over i think i will feel relief of getting a "second chance". Now that i cant play at the places i love i dont want to play anymore. I have a landbased casino 40 minutes away and ive been there 1 time.

This citys pubs and sporting halls contains slot machines but i have never used them.

So i didnt play to just to play, i played to win, and to recover losses, that whats got me.

So pls dont judge cause this IS the end!

I must borrow myself or solve this situation in 2 days. There is no other alternative.

 

[nepatsfan01]

I had a terrible credit rating, and it's because of my past gambling. I've had serious issues in the past, and as long as you can borrow your way out of the problem and keep secrets, you are at risk of the same behaviour.

I was an irresponsible gambler for a long time. My mom bailed me out once. My kid grew up without cable tv so I could have gambling money. The first time I risked the rent, I got lucky enough to win, only a little bit, but as $100 $100 $100 sank into the slot machines, you get sick and desparate.

I do know.

And I do know you need to get help. And it's not the money to bail you out right now. I've had that kind of "help", it just extends facing the issue.

Very little of gambling is about money. For me, online gambling is a bit of a harm reduction strategy, and I think you need a period of abstinence and some counselling to see what it is gambling is for you.

I am rooting for you, I know what a hard road financial recovery is.

Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if you cleaned the house top to bottom before you tell her! Then you can find stuff to sell.

You could not be 100% more right. Absolutely, the money just extends the issue. Hit the bottom and stay there... it's the only way to really face it. And LOL@ the cleaning of the house... I TOTALLY did that with my husband when I had that incident!!! And you're right, it's an awesome way to find stuff to sell

 

[ecopac]

I feel for you buddy.

If everyone who has read this thread just helped you out with 1 euro, you'd be out of this mess - but on the other hand you need to get through this yourself, so maybe that's not the answer (although I'd gladly put toward the cause)

I hate reading stories like this, particularly when people start talking about having dark thoughts, makes me shiver.

 

[Nate]

I am truly sorry to hear of your Predicament my friend.

The ONLY way forward is to NEVER touch Gambling again. For now its temporary but the most important thing is the lesson learned.

I wish you ALL the Best and look after your precious little girl!

Nate

 

[Slotster!]

How, in general, have the casino's responded to you? I guess you'll be fairly familiar with some of the people you've contacted - do you feel as though you've been fairly and correctly treated during this?

 

[just play]

Same behaviour? I have closed all of the good casinos for good. I have put myself on the block lists available. It isnt like i will play rouges just to play. When this is over i think i will feel relief of getting a "second chance". Now that i cant play at the places i love i dont want to play anymore. I have a landbased casino 40 minutes away and ive been there 1 time.

This citys pubs and sporting halls contains slot machines but i have never used them.

So i didnt play to just to play, i played to win, and to recover losses, that whats got me.

So pls dont judge cause this IS the end!

I must borrow myself or solve this situation in 2 days. There is no other alternative.

Uh oh...The "tone" of this post isn't good. Your getting defensive when a member is trying to help. Jasmine wasn't judging you, she was offereing her advice and told something personal about herself. (kuddos to her)

You can close every account, you can get on block lists, but an addicted gambler will always find a way to gamble again.

Everyone here has seen people say "this IS the end" then a few months, even a few years later, it's NOT the end.

Your starting to be defensive, saying what you "don't do", big big red flag for me. Sorry Respin...I did not like this post from you, your anger is with yourself, not with anyone else.

I also disagree with people from here giving you money...Respin has to get out of this on his own, he must tell his gf, it's time to buck up.

You keep saying you must solve this in 2 days, there's no other alternative...what's going to happen after 2 days would be my question?

 

[BMWSTACK]

Uh oh...The "tone" of this post isn't good. Your getting defensive when a member is trying to help. Jasmine wasn't judging you, she was offereing her advice and told something personal about herself. (kuddos to her)

You can close every account, you can get on block lists, but an addicted gambler will always find a way to gamble again.

Everyone here has seen people say "this IS the end" then a few months, even a few years later, it's NOT the end.

Your starting to be defensive, saying what you "don't do", big big red flag for me. Sorry Respin...I did not like this post from you, your anger is with yourself, not with anyone else.

I also disagree with people from here giving you money...Respin has to get out of this on his own, he must tell his gf, it's time to buck up.

You keep saying you must solve this in 2 days, there's no other alternative...what's going to happen after 2 days would be my question?

I was about to say the same thing , Jasmine was definetely trying to help, and with good advice. Yes indeed people with any type of addiction problem )drugs,alcohol,gambling) see the light temporarily. I am sure the % of people that cure themselves after a bad situation is very small, most people go right back to the same behavior, and yes indeed closing accounts doesnt mean that there is not a possibility to gamble in the future.

Respin you have been overwhelmed with support here, but I must say that I wish that I could see a little more of a positive approach from you. I understand that it is a tough situation, but it calls for a glass half full approach rather than a doom and gloom attitude. I did see something positive of getting some money back which is great, but in order to get through this you need to create some positive energy to not only accomplish the task at hand but also to keep you sane. A lot of people have given great suggestions as to how to get some money, take some of these tips and say to yourself , I can get this done!!!!!!

 

[wobble33]

respin

did you ask wintingo for your cashback? or had you already recieved it before you closed your account? i notice you seemed angry after you lost so it seemed as if you went straight on live chat, and closed your account.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

respin

did you ask wintingo for your cashback? or had you already recieved it before you closed your account? i notice you seemed angry after you lost so it seemed as if you went straight on live chat, and closed your account.

The wintingo thing was the first round they were open and was MSG. i dont think i have any loyalty.

 

[Tirilej]

@just play That was a great post you made.

I have reported this thread and I have asked the OP to not beg for money here.
Please anyone who wants to be "kind", don't be.
He needs to suffer the consequences by himself, and he is not near the point of seeking real help yet.

He won't harm himself so don't worry about dark thoughts.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

@just play That was a great post you made.

I have reported this thread and I have asked the OP to not beg for money here.
Please anyone who wants to be "kind", don't be.
He needs to suffer the consequences by himself, and he is not near the point of seeking real help yet.

He won't harm himself so don't worry about dark thoughts.

Did i say i would harm myself? i said i have dark thoughts...offcourse i dont have very positive thoughts atm. This life is bigger and more important then a setback at gambling.I have a wonderful lil daughter and good people around me. I know you mean well Tirilej youre a good lady. And i did not beg for money! I was being honest when i said i did ask some casinos for money for refunds, but it just came natural for me to the places i was loyal too.

I have not recieved one single dime from a member here, and i dont want to. Its my own mess i agree, and i need to clean it up myself.

But its really hard to say how one´s gonna react when something like this happens. As i said, im so happy for all the support from all you guys. I will tell my GF tonight, and if she loves me she will understand and help me fix this.

 

[chuzzleaddict]

I did not at any point see him asking for money here

 

[wobble33]

I did not at any point see him asking for money here

no he didnt, i suggested this. i didnt mean everyone had to help with money problems, it was just a personal thought, and a way i could help him.

 

[BMWSTACK]

@just play That was a great post you made.

I have reported this thread and I have asked the OP to not beg for money here.
Please anyone who wants to be "kind", don't be.
He needs to suffer the consequences by himself, and he is not near the point of seeking real help yet.

He won't harm himself so don't worry about dark thoughts.

I dont see where the OP asked for money. The only issue I have is the constant negativity from OP, like I said in my last post I wish they would be a little more optomistic/positive approach with all the support.

Your post does come off a little harsh, but I do see both the OP and yourself are both from Sweden. Do you know this individual personally? If so maybe you know more than us.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

I dont want to come off at the wrong foot with anyone. That you guys even post shows that you care. It was something vinylweatherman said that made me smile --->

in some months maybe i feel "i do infact have alot of money"...pay my bills, and whats left me and my family can do fun things with. Gambling has been with me everyday for 10 years and it wont go away over a night. But i feel that the small start has been made, atleast what i can do online. Now the battle offline starts.

Now all accounts are closed permanently and i have cleaned up my email and i have told 1 friend. And that took alot out of me...cause i have never ever admitted in real life that i have a problem for anyone, its one thing to do it online. Soon time to man-up and tell my GF that her hubby has problems and that they will end now. With or without her help they will end now.

Thanks for those who believe in me, and the ones who dont; i will prove you wrong.

 

[SpinUk]

@just play That was a great post you made.

I have reported this thread and I have asked the OP to not beg for money here.
Please anyone who wants to be "kind", don't be.
He needs to suffer the consequences by himself, and he is not near the point of seeking real help yet.

He won't harm himself so don't worry about dark thoughts.

*Drama queen alert*

 

[Tirilej]

I dont see where the OP asked for money. The only issue I have is the constant negativity from OP, like I said in my last post I wish they would be a little more optomistic/positive approach with all the support.

Your post does come off a little harsh, but I do see both the OP and yourself are both from Sweden. Do you know this individual personally? If so maybe you know more than us.

I might was a little harsh but for the right reason in my eyes.
The OP knows why and he took it the right way

 

[Respin_Ftw]

And no, we dont know eachother Tirilej and i =) Though she seems like a cool woman!

 

[Nifty29]

I feel for you buddy.

If everyone who has read this thread just helped you out with 1 euro, you'd be out of this mess - but on the other hand you need to get through this yourself, so maybe that's not the answer (although I'd gladly put toward the cause)

I hate reading stories like this, particularly when people start talking about having dark thoughts, makes me shiver.

Its a kind thought.

However, the absolute worst thing you can give a compulsive gambler is money. Just like you wouldn't give a drug addict drugs, or an alcoholic booze....and neither would you give them money, as they will be compelled to spend it on their addiction.

Whilst the OP continues to hide this from their partner they are not fully accepting their disease, and leaving themselves open to to relapse. He should tell her NOW.

I wish respin the best.

 

[TheyCallMeGorba]

Sorry to hear this.

I had similar experience few years ago and I know how terrible and scary it feels to finally come clear with your fiancee. We made through it though, but the thing she said to me was that if only she knew earlier. She said how many things which earlier didn't make any sense seemed much more reasonable now that she knew. Moreover, she was pretty disappointed that I had lied to her in the first place. But what means a lot is that she forgave me and she was more understanding than I could have ever expected. We are still going strong and my gambling has never been an issue after that.

Be strong and best of luck to you!

 

[MisterBJ]

Respin, If you think it would jeopardize her leaving, I wouldn't tell her. If it was me . I would leave out the door. Pretending like i was going to the bank. Then after a short while come back home with my shirt ripped. A few markings and tell her I got robbed. I would say I tried to fight back. But it was just too many of them. I'll give her a sob story about wanting to take her out and not being able to pay the bills. Maybe she would feel sorry for me and offer to pay them. I would also tell her that I will pay her back as soon as possible.

 

[anniemac]

MisterBJ,

Seriously? You really posted that? That is so not funny or cute.

Have you ever lived with an addict? I have and let me tell you a story like that is not beyond belief and, for someone that loves an addict, that kind of scenario runs thru his/her mind whenever their loved one is late coming home.

Whether Respin tells his fiance the truth or not is his choice and whether she stays or goes will be her choice. Lie now to save your butt, you will have to keep on lying.

Respin, I sincerely wish the best for you and if you really want to quit, you can make it happen.

 

[LaHutti]

Wow... I would be interested to know how long your relationships last ...on average. ...not really, since it's none of my business, but I'll guess 2-3 weeks ?

Respin, If you think it would jeopardize her leaving, I wouldn't tell her. If it was me . I would leave out the door. Pretending like i was going to the bank. Then after a short while come back home with my shirt ripped. A few markings and tell her I got robbed. I would say I tried to fight back. But it was just too many of them. I'll give her a sob story about wanting to take her out and not being able to pay the bills. Maybe she would feel sorry for me and offer to pay them. I would also tell her that I will pay her back as soon as possible.

 

[dunover]

No, you definitely come clean with the good lady. You will be in the doghouse, shouted at etc. but it will get better from there. The unfortunate truth is that some people have to hit rock bottom before they change, make a genuine effort to climb up. You will almost certainly have relapses. Fast forward say 2 months. You've lived frugally, not spent any unnecessary money, paid the bills and got straight. Things seem better. Now you are straight financially, next payday arrives. Not all the money is committed, so the gambler's subconscious self-justification clicks in:

"I've been 'good' for a few months, got straight, so why not treat myself? Just a small deposit, I feel good at the moment. What harm can it do, as I'm up to date with everything? Even if I lose my spare cash I'm OK this month."

THIS IS THE DANGER POINT!

Get past that each payday, and you're well on you're way. You've put distance in time between yourself and gambling. Don't get past it, and you're back to square one.

Good luck with your efforts.

 

[Marie2473]

did u talk with her?

 

[Hannetinderholt]

First i must say that i feel with you, i actually have been there, where u are, i hit rock bottom and i actually happy for it since after that i never ever gamble more than i have afford to lose. gambling is one of most dangerous form of addicting out there and have destroyed so many life's in tragedy, and what is scary part is, is that its super easy to get addicted. its really good that you have stood in front and admitted this now.

what i would do in your case now is :

1. if you are deadly broke, since your`r Scandinavian you have one place called "sosial kontoret" where you can get money for your life supply, you go there and tell them everything that have happened and show them your bank account, you then will receive enough to live to your next salary. they will cover your bill and for food. they have also emergency loan where you can loan money and pay them back in small chunks.

2. admit your problem to your fiance and give her ALL control of your bank card and account and tell her how much she and your daughter means to you and you never ever going to let this happen again, we are all humans and we screws things up sometimes. and one more thing, you have now broken your fiances trust, you now need to rebuild it for your self and for her, this only can be rebuild by time and action.

3. You are one of those who do not accept that you have lost, you gamble to you win with no matter what, till there are no money left. this mean you are a competitively person, use this availability to something positive.

4. Change your email like many other have wrote, no matter how many casino you have closed you will receive gambling emails, so make new one.

5. in few weeks, you will get tempted to try some small amounts, don't do it!, instead treat your self with something nice for every time your temptation comes, like a cinema or bake cinnamon rolls with your daughter.

6. Print what you wrote on this thread and put it in your wallet, every time you get tempted, see what you self wrote, you will get disgusted feeling about how gambling made these mess.

7. Enjoy your life, it's what you make of it.

best of wishes

Michael

Hey, mochan you´r really good at giving advice to others but maybe you should apply those advices to yourself? as a girlfrien

 

[MisterBJ]

MisterBJ,

Seriously? You really posted that? That is so not funny or cute.

Have you ever lived with an addict? I have and let me tell you a story like that is not beyond belief and, for someone that loves an addict, that kind of scenario runs thru his/her mind whenever their loved one is late coming home.

Whether Respin tells his fiance the truth or not is his choice and whether she stays or goes will be her choice. Lie now to save your butt, you will have to keep on lying.

Respin, I sincerely wish the best for you and if you really want to quit, you can make it happen.

You darn right I wouldn't tell her. If telling her may cause her to leave me with my child. Say, what you want to. But until you're in a situation of losing your family. I will do or say whatever to avoid it.

 

[chuchu59]

When I was a kid we had a lively debate on the topic 'Honesty is the best policy'. Even at a young age I learned that while no lies should be told sometimes its unavoidable. You may lose your family so if you hide something from your loved ones and then you turn over a new leaf so to speak its still ok. So if Respin does not tell his gf the whole truth but starts now to rebuild his finances to ensure a better future for her and his lovable daughter just go for it. You have a lifetime to make amends.

 

[BMWSTACK]

I have to assume that respin may have possibly had this issue in the past with the girlfriend. To be that scared that shes going to leave must mean she laid down the law before. Now if this is the situation I am kind of split in the middle of telling her or not telling her. If she had made it clear that she would definetely leave if this happened then he may need to cover it up, but obiviously being sneak and doing this could mean that the problem happens again. But then again if respin in serious about fixing this and can show her the things hes doing to change hopefully she would support him. It would be best to be honest to gain her support and kick the hapit , not to mention it would be easier on respins concious. If he had to find a way not to tell her I guess I would understand that also. Its up to respin to decide what he wants to do , and I certainly will not judge either way.

 

[Nifty29]

Hey, mochan you´r really good at giving advice to others but maybe you should apply those advices to yourself? as a girlfrien

WTH? Do you know Osloking?


@OP.

Only YOU know what is right for you.

IMO, honesty IS the best policy. If you tell your gf and present her with a solid plan to take care of things at the same time, and she loves you, you have a chance.

If you hide it, you're leaving the door open to gamble again.....after all, if you can hide this, you can hide anything. Admitting the truth to a loved one makes everything more real and helps prevent relapses.

I guarantee it will be far worse if she finds out via other means, as then you're a liar in her eyes as well as a compulsive gambler.

 

[RikkiGT-R]

WTH? Do you know Osloking?

I was thinking the same thing, because that's one of the most ridiculous and randomly off-topic posts I think I've ever seen.

As for the OP -
I've been following the thread since the start and can only reiterate what the others have been saying. I do wish you all the best in future and really hope for your beautiful little girl's sake that you do stop it now before you really do ruin everything you have. 1 month's wages is a fuck-up, but it's not the end of the world. It's probably the best thing that could ever have happened to you. 1 month wages and a total cessation, or (for example) half your wages every month, month after month... That €2000 could probably save you a fortune in the long run. Suppose you could look at it like that.
I sincerely hope your fiancée stands by you through this (when you get around to telling her - and I couldn't recommend that more strongly).

It took balls to post this thread, and I admire you for it. Now do your daughter and future wife proud.

 

[kauphy]

Uh oh...The "tone" of this post isn't good. Your getting defensive when a member is trying to help. Jasmine wasn't judging you, she was offereing her advice and told something personal about herself. (kuddos to her)

You can close every account, you can get on block lists, but an addicted gambler will always find a way to gamble again.

Everyone here has seen people say "this IS the end" then a few months, even a few years later, it's NOT the end.

Your starting to be defensive, saying what you "don't do", big big red flag for me. Sorry Respin...I did not like this post from you, your anger is with yourself, not with anyone else.

I also disagree with people from here giving you money...Respin has to get out of this on his own, he must tell his gf, it's time to buck up.

You keep saying you must solve this in 2 days, there's no other alternative...what's going to happen after 2 days would be my question?

just play its easter in two days and his little girl wants to spend time with him doing easter stuff. thats why he keeps saying in two days it must be sloved.

 

[Nate]

WTH? Do you know Osloking?

It's his Girlfriend.

Hannetinderholt - Rather speak to him in private... no need to put it out on a forum.

Nate

 

[Nifty29]

It's his Girlfriend.

Hannetinderholt - Rather speak to him in private... no need to put it out on a forum.

Nate

Really?

Totally uncool IMO.

 

[dunover]

As I said, it's easy to be resolute about any addiction when you've no cash to fund it. The real test is discipline and resolve when you do have the means to indulge. This is why I think you need your girlfriends assistance. If she's involved, to help you along the way she can have charge of all bank accounts and cash cards and take charge of paying the way out of the mess when you get paid. You get pocket money handed to you in the meantime for small and necessary items of expenditure.
Sounds belittling yes, but it will help your resolve. The longest journey starts with one small step.

 

[wobble33]

pm

hi guys

i got a pm yesterday off the op. the man was not after any money or nothing, he was just after help to sort this situation out. he was a bit worried about people doubting him on here. he was overjoyed with the help this thread has given him. i notice he has not replied on this thread, hope he is ok. i replied a personal message to him, would like an update through here or pm though to make sure he is ok.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

So i told her...

It feels better not to say anything cause this thread ended up with people think i was asking for money!

 

[RikkiGT-R]

So i told her...

It feels better not to say anything cause this thread ended up with people think i was asking for money!

The vast majority don't think that at all mate. Please tell us how it went with the Fiancée...

 

[Respin_Ftw]

She was very very pissed yes. I think she will stay pissed until things are looking brighter lol. But theres only one way now and that way is up up UP!

In the future i will take what i have been using for gambling and put it in a savings account instead.

The only gaming i will be doing in the future is coming from my PS3!

 

[Jasminebed]

I am very glad you came clean with your fiancee, and that things are looking up.

You have taken very big and important steps on you way to success. I strongly encourage you to join a group, either real world or online, for gambling addicts. This will help prevent a relapse after the immediate financial crisis is past. There are groups for partners too.

Despite your recent losses, you are a very lucky man. I wish you and your family a happy and bright future.

 

[Mousey]

All our best to you and your family Respin.

Mind if I suggest we move this thread (and you, too perhaps?) to the Quit Gambling section?

 

[RikkiGT-R]

I'm pleased you told her, and I'm very happy for you that it seems she's gonna stand by you through this.
I don't think it's a mistake you're likely to make again in future, not when you've went so low and (honestly) could've lost everything.

Again, I commend you for starting this thread, for admitting to your problem and having the guts to come clean to your woman. Onwards and upwards from here

 

[dunover]

As a gesture of your determination and sincerity, did you hand over control of finances to your girlfriend? This may be humiliating, but it's easy to bear when you feel at rock bottom. Plus it gives her some involvement and a sense of helping you, as at the moment she probably feels confused and isolated. Remember partners suffer as much as you do, just less the guilt.

 

[Nifty29]

So i told her...

It feels better not to say anything cause this thread ended up with people think i was asking for money!

Respin.

You just grew a foot in stature in my eyes.

It takes balls to 'fess up, and I'm really glad that you did. It was the only way you and your gf were going to have a real chance at a future together, as I almost guarantee that you would have gambled again if you had kept secrets.

Imo you should hand over complete control over your finances to your partner as a temporary measure. It will mean that all bills will be paid and you'll have money to live, it will also prevent you relapsing, and clear that "haze" that hangs over your mind when you are in the grip of an addiction and allow you to think more clearly. It will also help your partner to come to terms with your illness, and help her to begin rebuilding trust. It doesn't have to be forever.....just a few months to allow the "stinking thinking" to cease and the more important things in your life, like your gorgeous little girl, to take the highest priority.

Your next step is to email Max and ask to be placed in the Quit Gambling Group here at CM.We can all be here to support you that way, but the temptation stemming from constant discussion of casinos and screenies doesn't exist. I would place an extremely high priority to this step.

Keep up the good work.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

As a gesture of your determination and sincerity, did you hand over control of finances to your girlfriend? This may be humiliating, but it's easy to bear when you feel at rock bottom. Plus it gives her some involvement and a sense of helping you, as at the moment she probably feels confused and isolated. Remember partners suffer as much as you do, just less the guilt.

And Nifty; She´s been handling the money for as long as i can remember. Its was just that this time they were gone before i made the monthly transaction. So that wont be a problem really

I just will hand over my bank login thingy to her. I dont really mind that she handles the economy, its just good.