This is the end for me.

Respin_Ftw

Experienced Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Location
Sweden
Wrong section? Sorry if it is.

I must come clean here and say/admit that i cant gamble online anymore. I cant handle it, i thought i could, but i couldnt. Im laying here in the middle of the night typing this and i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Yesterday i got my salary, today ive got nothing left. I dont understand how i can be so damn stupid...i dont feel sorry for me, i feel sorry for my fiancee and my little 3 year old girl.

She talks about everything she wants to do during easter when daddy is free, but her idiot of a dad doenst have any money. I cant pay my bills...

Im writing this to finally admit that i have a problem. Gambling took over my life. I used to watch movies on the evenings, i used to be away with my friends, lately i have been at home playing like my life depended on it. It didnt matter that i hit monster hits on DOA, cause it all went back, and more. I cannot for my life see how im gonna tell her when she wakes up that i cant pay the bills/buy food etc.

I have really no place to turn too. I cant go to the bank, i burned those bridges. The worst thing is that it was all looking brighter, both money wise and personal, during the 10+ years ive been playing online i never ever played away money for bills and food, but now it happened...and i must admit that i have a gambling problem


=(
 

BMWSTACK

Ueber Meister
Joined
Nov 26, 2009
Location
US
I hope all goes well. Your not alone , im sure a good percentage of people here have made these types of mistakes. All is not lost, it is just a temporary setback, it might not feel that way but it is only temporary as long as you can beat it now. Remember lots of people are in this position, but then when they come across with money they forget about this tough time. You need to find some type of support to help not go back there. Doing it for a significant other and little girl is quite motivational, but you need to get the help of a professional, such as a telephone # for gambling problems. In the meantime request your accounts to be closed, if your sincere about what you have said and want to make sure your there for the people important in your life you will do this without hesitation.
 

Tirilej

Still a Lady
CAG
MM
Joined
Apr 18, 2009
Location
Sweden
This was sad news, and good news.
Everyone that reach the point were they admit they have a problem is one step towards recovery.

There is a lot of help and support for you in many places in Sweden.
If you want to know more just send me a pm. I won't force it on you.
Or you maybe just need someone to talk to. I'm here for you.
 

LaHutti

Sr. ÜberUnter Ass. Man.
PABaccred
PABnonaccred
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Location
East and West
Hey mate.

It always makes me very sad to read stuff like this, when people realize they have a problem, and find themselves in a hole, that seems impossible to get out of.
I wish for you, that you'll see this as ... not the end for you, but a new beginning. Where you are right now, is where anyone with an addiction, sooner or later end up, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling...you hit the bottom, and what you need to do, is never ever forget the way you feel RIGHT now, and get some help.

I hope you come clean with your fiancee, and that your relationship is strong enough to get through this...figure out a way to get the bills paid, and let your whole family know that you have a problem, and that you need help. The more people you can talk to about this, the better. Don't try to hide it. A strong family will be there to help you through, no doubt.

Of course the first thing you need to do, is get rid of any and all casinos, get your accounts closed as soon as possible, and get blocking software installed, and then get some professional help. What you have, is no different than being addicted to drugs, and how many people do you know, who quit drugs on their own ?

What is really important for you to know is, that it is NOT the end for you....it's the beginning to the end of your illness, and you can get back on top of things.

All that said, I hope the reps of all casinos read your post, and somehow feel, that they too have responsibility in this. Please dear reps....when people show clear signs that they're where this guy is, it's not time to squeeze more money out of him. You guys should know better than anyone, what gambling addiction can do to people, and you need to be responsible. I know a lot of you are, but we also hear about the ones that are not. This guy is desperate...and a lot of people unfortunately get to that point, and when you see it, you need to act on it. So next time someone asks you to close their account, can you please wish the, now former, customer the best of luck, getting back on their feet, and close their account immediately ?
 

Respin_Ftw

Experienced Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Location
Sweden
Thanks for the support and nice posts, but i dont see this as a minor setback. I see it as it is, i am 2000€ short and even if my GF supports me (which she wont do, until i fix this) we wont be able to last this month, not even a few days.

I dont blame anyone but myself..i feel sick..my stomach aches and i have some serious depressing thoughts.
 

Respin_Ftw

Experienced Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Location
Sweden
I have also asked the reps on the casinos i play at to close my accounts forever. And i didnt have any choice but to ask them to go a little further...im gonna try to sleep now.
 

chuchu59

gambling addict
PABnonaccred
CAG
PABinit
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Location
SOMEWHERE IN ASIA
The first thing you need to do is to ensure your job isn't affected. Bite the bullet and calculate where your debt level stands. Where possible, talk with your bank and start restructuring your debts. Better sooner than later. Once you commit to use part of your salary to settle outstanding payments you are on your way to a better life. By then, you wont be worrying about things like closure of accounts. Being 2000 pounds short is not an insurmountable problem. It just needs some strong will on your part and I am pretty sure by X'mas you will be a rejuvenated person. Post a pic of your daughter for all of us to see then. GL mate.
 

lettingyouknow

Dormant account
Joined
Feb 24, 2009
Location
ocean
I think they should refund your money

Respin,

Ask them to refund your money, CLOSE all of your accounts but refund your money. Blackball you from all casinos, but refund your money.

Especially, because it is your little girl who will pay the price, you were weak you will be better for this in the future. I would ask Brian for help in getting a refund with the casinos, in your case.

I think you will get out of this alright, please keep the faith, don't be too hard on yourself, you seem like a good person, and your daughter needs you and loves you, I am sure.

You are only human and I am sure with each spin you thought of changing her life with the money. We all do this we play not only for ourselves but our loved ones, thinking that we might hit the big one and make things better for the ones we love, same thing goes with people who play the lottery, buy scratch offs etc.

You are not a bad person, you have a bad habit, kick it's butt and never gamble again.

Much love and prayers are coming your way.
 

Tirilej

Still a Lady
CAG
MM
Joined
Apr 18, 2009
Location
Sweden
Why in the world should they pay him back? He knew what he was doing, and still did it. Time to take some responsibility I would say.
I also hope that no one feels they need to help him with money. Don't do it. He has to fix his own mess.
 

chuchu59

gambling addict
PABnonaccred
CAG
PABinit
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Location
SOMEWHERE IN ASIA
If refunds are made all hell breaks loose and nobody would run a casino as a business in future. Its time to man up and face the music. Nothing is really lost. As the username implies the op still has the chance to make a respin.
 

LaHutti

Sr. ÜberUnter Ass. Man.
PABaccred
PABnonaccred
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Location
East and West
As harsh as this may sound, I agree.
It's time for you to make a change, and getting money back, that you knew you shouldn't have gambled, is not gonna make any change.
Having to face the problem you and your illness created is.
It's not going to be fun to face it, but it's the only way, and sooner or later you'll have to.

Why in the world should they pay him back? He knew what he was doing, and still did it. Time to take some responsibility I would say.
I also hope that no one feels they need to help him with money. Don't do it. He has to fix his own mess.
 

Respin_Ftw

Experienced Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Location
Sweden
I dont want donations, its not what this thread is about. I just pointed out that im 2000€ short, it has more to do with the full panic mode i am in right now, even if it is my own fault, offcourse it is my fault, no one told me to deposit, and for the first time in my life i cant pay my bills, and its not a good feeling. I didnt create this thread so the reps could see and pity me. I created this thread as a start of a beginning. But still feel sick, desperate and sad and all that shit, ive had some really good times here and on the casinos.

But this time i cant take it back. Its out there now and im happy it is.
 

mrmark21

Dormant Account
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
Location
australia
While I do sympathize with Respin I don't see why they should pay him back. His a grown man, he made his own choices, however asking for the money back would be akin to issuing a charge back. The bright side is that now he can learn from his mistakes :)

IMPO you should delete all you're accounts. Then draw up an Easter budget (the tighter the better) and take out a loan from the bank. Find a low interest loan that you can pay off over a number of weeks... I feel for you mate, good luck :)
 

chayton

aka LooHoo
webmeister
PABnonaccred
CAG
Joined
Jun 5, 2006
Location
Edmonton Canada
I always feel so sorry to hear this kind of thing. Most of us have been in a position where we spent a bit more than we should or didn't cash out when we should, but to get in the hole like you're in now....I feel for you.

To be honest though, it sounds like this is exactly the kind of wakeup call you needed - I've dealt with addiction issues of my own in the past, and I know from experience that sometimes you have to hit bottom before you finally admit to yourself that you can't go on the way you're going. And I also know that regrets about what's already happened will drive you into the ground if you let them, so try to focus on getting back on your feet and moving forward.

You've admitted that you have a problem and you're on your way to fixing it. You've already asked to have your accounts closed, and I hope that you specified that it was for a gambling problem. Talk to your girlfriend and be honest about what you've done and the steps you're taking to make sure it doesn't happen again.

And if there's a bright side to this, it's that it's $2000 - it's not a drop in the bucket, but it's not insurmountable. With some strict budgeting for the next couple of months you should be able to get everything back under control. I wish you the best of luck with getting your life back.
 

dunover

Unofficial T&C's Editor
Staff member
webmeister
PABnonaccred
PABnononaccred
CAG
mm3
Joined
May 22, 2012
Location
the bus shelter, opposite GCHQ Benhall
Put a photo of your daughter as a computer background. Her face will tell you not to do it. Use a free blocker like K9, and get your girlfriend to set the password and throw it away. Close accounts. Very important - FORGET previous losses. Do not see them as a challenge from the casinos to play again and try and chase them. Accept money has gone forever, but that's it has reached a peak, and has stopped. Not only does it cost you money, which is replaceable, but more importantly the sheer time you waste gambling, time that means life passes you by. Even after a week you will feel better not doing it. Keep busy entertaining your daughter in ways which cost nothing, games etc. Good luck with your quitting.:)
 

Slotster!

I predict a riot.
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Location
Location, Location!
I wish you the very best of luck resolving the short term issues; what seems like a mountain right now will hopefully be resolved and give you the breathing space and time required to attack the bigger issue. Once the anger is out of the way, people in my experience, are often more forgiving and understanding than you would ever imagine.

Based on your honesty and bravery in this thread alone - I give you every chance of coming out the other side feeling amazing.
 

vinylweatherman

You type well loads
Joined
Oct 14, 2004
Location
United Kingdom
Longer term, get a new email address. Regular players get sold out to all sorts of third parties and spammers, and you are going to be getting a steady stream of third party "new player" promotions to test your resolve. Move everything important to the new address, and then forget about the old, only checking it occasionally, and never on your own. Many who quit end up getting lured back by one of these mailbox offers.

Once you admit to family about the problem, and provided the bond is strong, you will have their help in preventing a relapse.

Although this month's salary is gone, long term you must have had enough to pay your bills and still manage to lose some at the casinos. It'll be hell for a month, but you get paid again in May, and by then nothing should be ending up at the casinos. By June, you might be wondering "where has all this money come from", and be in a position to spend more money on your family than ever before. Maybe even enough for a decent holiday.

People NOT to tell are your employer and your bank, they may act negatively on the revelation and prevent you from making a quick recovery from the situation. If necessary, you may be able to get help from your doctor, even if this is a referral to another service. In the UK, like Alcoholics Anonymous, we have Gamblers Anonymous, a self help group for people who have had problems controlling their gambling. You discuss things with people who REALLY know what it's like, rather than people who have a degree in what it's like, but have never experienced it themselves.

Ask Bryan to move you to the "Quit Gambling" group, where you will no longer see any content promoting the activity when (or if) you visit the forum. This thread can also be moved to the Quit Gambling section.
 

Mozaik

Dormant account
Joined
Jan 6, 2013
Location
Holland
The key to success must be within himself. Closing a few casino accounts won't solve the problem right away....there are maybe more than 2000 gambling websites? It's just as easy to sign up to another one.

I would advise you to hand over your finances (credit cards, debit cards, etc) to someone you could trust (maybe your fiance?) for a certain period of time if you still feel the urge to gamble. That's the only way to protect yourself from using any financial resources to gamble in the future. Admitting the problem is one thing....but now the important part just started, just be stay patient and get your life on track.

Good luck!
 

conker

Dormant account
Joined
Feb 10, 2012
Location
UK
Hey Respin_Ftw,
I am really sorry to hear about your situation. To me it sounds like you have hot rock bottom, with your outpouring on CM. This might be just what you needed to get yourself out of this situation.

I would certainly be seeking some professional advice about your gambling. In the UK I would be approaching GamCare, a registered charity that helps people with gambling related issues. I don't know if you have something similar in Sweden? I agree with other posts that telling your boss is not something you should consider, as keeping your job is very important right now. There is a great page on this very site that offers advice on quitting gambling https://www.casinomeister.com/quit-gambling/

I hope you work things out.
 

missmichelle

Dormant Account
Joined
Sep 17, 2008
Location
Tucson AZ
My heart truly goes out to you. I know it seems like you'll never recover at the moment but you will. Stay on track and things will get better little by little. Just take it one day at a time and you will eventually see the progress.

Hang in there,

Michelle
 

just play

closed account
Joined
Jan 27, 2006
Location
USA
Thanks for the support and nice posts, but i dont see this as a minor setback. I see it as it is, i am 2000€ short and even if my GF supports me (which she wont do, until i fix this) we wont be able to last this month, not even a few days.

I dont blame anyone but myself..i feel sick..my stomach aches and i have some serious depressing thoughts.


You get one salary of 2000 per month, or is it 2 or 4 checks? I mean do you have to wait another month before any money comes in?

If you are a long time customer of your electric/heat/phone/etc...you can call them up and tell them you ran into a money problem this month and will pay as much as you can next month, and you will settle it within x amount of months. We have been in this predicament before, (non gambling related, when hubby lost job) and all of our companies were very understanding, as long as you give them something it will be alright.

Can you borrow from a close friend, relative, anyone? Just to get by with food and necessities this month? You can even cancel not so important things for a while like cable tv, internet, home or cell phone (whichever you use the least)

Depressing thoughts will do you no good right now, you need positive thoughts to make out a list of what you owe to who. You have to sit down and figure out your bills right now. I STRESS...depressing thoughts are no good to you right now. It will all be over in a few months, (that's not very long when you think abou it) and you can continue to live a happy life with you GF and little girl.

This is such a little blip in your life...it WILL be over soon. Positive, positive, positive thoughts.
 
Sorry to hear about this buddy.

There is nothing worse than the horrible sick, depressive feeling in the core of you that flood over when you've had an awful session of gambling and have to make the admission that it's gotten the best of you.

I've had some rocky patches myself where I've really had to question my actions, as I was for sure becoming a 'compulsive gambler' things stopped being fun, needed bigger and bigger bets to get the kick, hence a lot more risk leading to a huge losses a lot of the time, and in 2013 I've really had to reel myself in.

I can recommend BetFilter which I have installed on my 2 main computers which takes a lot of the impulsivity out of my gambling. To gamble now I have to set a proper time slot with a limit and go to another location computer to do it. This makes me a lot more conscious of my actions.

Other posters are right though, you will look back on this and it won't seem so awful as it does now but a wake up call is always helpful, even though it may not seem like it right now, there will be a silver lining here somewhere. Don't be too hard on yourself buddy. And hang in there, give yourself the time and space from gambling that you need.
 

nisosbar

Ueber Meister
PABnonaccred
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
Location
Right here
Sorry to hear this respin - wishing you the best. Hugs.

And also, just wanted to say, the support people here show you is an indicator that you will get beyond this bad moment, in time. :)
 

spoton

Dormant Account
webmeister
Joined
Dec 28, 2011
Location
Right behind you
Thanks for the support and nice posts, but i dont see this as a minor setback. I see it as it is, i am 2000€ short and even if my GF supports me (which she wont do, until i fix this) we wont be able to last this month, not even a few days.

I dont blame anyone but myself..i feel sick..my stomach aches and i have some serious depressing thoughts.

Do you have any family that you can borrow some money from for food etc? Or maybey something you dont use that you can sell? Unless its gone to the point where you owe alot of money cause of your gambling problem, the situation aint as bas as it feels. But the first thing you should do it call up all the debitors you owe money to, explain that you wont be able to pay the bills, and make them setup a payment plan for you. You may have to live a little tight the next months, but atleast you wont get your power cut off or so. For most banks and companies that provide services the most important thing is to know that they'll get the money, rather than giving you a hell for not paying the money at the right time. Just dont be tempted into taking exspencive short-term loans or getting credit cards. That will just start a bad spiral

And dont bash yourself too much for doing this.It's human to do mistakes, and there are lots of people that have done 10x worse mistakes than you.

When it comes to the hollydays coming up, try think of some activities to do that are cheap or free. And try finding an activity that you like and that you can replace the time you usually spend gambling with. If you like exitement etc there are lots of pc and console games, or ofcourse sports!
 
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