This is the end for me.

[secret2]

Never forget the way you feel, right now. It will help you.

I understand how you feel and I do have empathy...I have been there before. This is just temporary.

Put that photo on your computer of your little girl, as dunover stated and remember what is really important to you, as you already know.

I wish you all the best in life and I will state again, this is just temporary. It will pass.

God Bless.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

Thanks for all the nice posts and advices etc. I still havent told my GF! I must fix the mess i created. Now 24 hours later i cant for my life understand how i could keep on depositing, it was like i was possessed or something.

I could have seen this coming offcourse.

And to be totally honest with you all i did ask some casinos for refunds, even if i knew it wasnt any idea. Thats desperation guys.

I wanted it all to be a bad dream. I have bad nerves from almost being beaten to death by 8 guys 5 years ago, leaving me with skull fractures and a paranoia out of this world, i have been so close to being left by my fiancee numerous times, but i fixed it and as i stated in an earlier post things were looking brighter...but this feels harder then anything else that happened in my life.

and then...i do this. I hate myself so much and for not taking any responsibility whatsoever.

The one thing i took to my heart was someones advice of putting a pic of my daughter by the computer. I did that. I want to be able to give her all the things she need.

SHE is the reason that i want to fix this.

 

[just play]

Respin, she's absolutely gorgeous. You will get through this.

 

[secret2]

She is ADORABLE!!!

If this is the worst thing that you do in life, then you are doing ok...just talk it out with your fiancée with maybe a mediator?

 

[Respin_Ftw]

She is ADORABLE!!!

If this is the worst thing that you do in life, then you are doing ok...just talk it out with your fiancée with maybe a mediator?

Offcourse i mean that its the worst thing not to be able to support my family. Im not doing ok. In 3 days all my bills will decline.

Im sooo greatful that i have you guys to talk to, you all should know that. You are all very nice and understanding. So big thanks for that.


How on earth do you close your moneybookers account? I tried but it said something about pending incoming payments.

 

[chuzzleaddict]

You have a beautiful child and she means more than any of all this, and will love you no matter what - goods and bads. We all make mistakes and we learn from them too, so its important to make them! I know exactly what you mean about feeling possessed, I have had that same sensation when depositing on a paticularly heavy session, but I view it more as being hypnotised by the gaming, which to some extent I'm sure we are - not to mention the clinical studies that have shown that slots create the exact same reactions in our neurotransmitters are crack cocaine does! Hence the addiction and the loss of control and the need for the bigger hits to get high.

I think you'll be OK buddy ----- you will get through this. You're not alone as you can always come here to talk it over, although this is a gambling forum we are all here to support you to in a gambling addiction recovery, if that is the direction you end up going.

 

[harrys99]

Just wanted to add my support and empathy to you as well. So many wonderful suggestions from some really good people here

You have no shortage of people to talk to here who have felt as you do at one time or another.

Beautiful little girl and great suggestion to put her picture front and center. I know when I have been through tough times I always try to think if my son would be proud of me or my decisions. That is a great motivator trust me

Sending you good thoughts and an open invitation to talk or be a sounding board whenever you need.

Remember, this too shall pass-

Beth

 

[wobble33]

respin

my heart goes out to you here also. have you disabled all your casino accounts now? looking at your screenies you had quite a few casino accounts going. if people on here knew you would not gamble again, i am sure a lot of them would chip in and help you to get by this month. me included. but also a lot would say the opposite too.

dont have these silly thoughts in your head. i am certain quite a lot of people on here have been through exactlly the same thing. just try and think of the positive thoughts that you have a beautifull child, and prob a beautifull woman to take care of.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

Just want to add this, all of you telling me to get a loan, trust me, if i could it would have already happened. I have what they call a bad credit. I promised myself 2 years ago not ever to take another loan, i will get denied anyhow. Trying to get clean from debts. It will be some years but it will happen.

If all goes to hell with my fiancee now, atleast we got a beautiful child together.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

respin

my heart goes out to you here also. have you disabled all your casino accounts now? looking at your screenies you had quite a few casino accounts going. if people on here knew you would not gamble again, i am sure a lot of them would chip in and help you to get by this month. me included. but also a lot would say the opposite too.

dont have these silly thoughts in your head. i am certain quite a lot of people on here have been through exactlly the same thing. just try and think of the positive thoughts that you have a beautifull child, and prob a beautifull woman to take care of.

Thanks for your kind words.

I have so far closed:

Jackpotparty
redbet,whitebet,heypoker
nordicbet,maxino,tobet,triobet
32red,nedplay,dash,golden lounge

And did put myself on the microgaming block list.

am on the betsafe chat right now.

 

[wobble33]

Thanks for your kind words.

I have so far closed:

Jackpotparty
redbet,whitebet,heypoker
nordicbet,maxino,tobet,triobet
32red,nedplay,dash,golden lounge

And did put myself on the microgaming block list.

am on the betsafe chat right now.

yes thats exactlly what you need to do. we see what people say on here, and we all maybe be able to help you out. dont take the thoughts as charity. take the thoughts as human kindness. i am off to bed right now but i will be keeping an eye on this thread tomorrow. take care and i know its hard but try to sleep tight.

 

[secret2]

Just want to add this, all of you telling me to get a loan, trust me, if i could it would have already happened. I have what they call a bad credit. I promised myself 2 years ago not ever to take another loan, i will get denied anyhow. Trying to get clean from debts. It will be some years but it will happen.

If all goes to hell with my fiancee now, atleast we got a beautiful child together.

Don't get a loan, just pay each month what you can afford. Take care of your family, first and then pay...even if it's a tiny amount but at least you are paying your debtors.

If they see you are paying, then maybe they will work with you. Do not take anymore debt on.

I am not sure how it is in your country but don't ignore your debtors. Talk to them and ask questions about how you can pay down your debt without it impacting your day to day expenses.

 

[weplant]

Respin, my thoughts are with you..You will get thru this...As others have suggested you can make payments on your utility bills, etc..They
will work with you..I know what it feels like to be in total desperation, beleive me, I know...That beautiful girl you have will get you thru this.
I lost my 11 year old son to a speeding driver and I have to have a long chat with myself every day to keep on...I need to be there for the rest
of my family...
Do not be hard on yourself, we have probobly all 'overgambled' at different times in our life...Your are trying hard to fix it, be proud of yourself.
Most importantly, hug that little girl of yours and be so happy she is with you...

 

[Respin_Ftw]

Respin, my thoughts are with you..You will get thru this...As others have suggested you can make payments on your utility bills, etc..They
will work with you..I know what it feels like to be in total desperation, beleive me, I know...That beautiful girl you have will get you thru this.
I lost my 11 year old son to a speeding driver and I have to have a long chat with myself every day to keep on...I need to be there for the rest
of my family...
Do not be hard on yourself, we have probobly all 'overgambled' at different times in our life...Your are trying hard to fix it, be proud of yourself.
Most importantly, hug that little girl of yours and be so happy she is with you...

Im so sorry! Stories like yours make mine looke like nothing. Cant even imagine the horrors you been through. You must be a very strong person.

Thanks for the kind words sir.

 

[weplant]

Im so sorry! Stories like yours make mine looke like nothing. Cant even imagine the horrors you been through. You must be a very strong person.

Thanks for the kind words sir.

It has been a long , hard road and a deep pain that is with me everyday...
Your story is something, I know you feel as though you have let your little girl down and your girlfriend..However, the fact that you are so
concerned and want to make things right, tells me how much you love them..
I definitely gamble too much, using money that should be used for bills, etc., but gambling helps me make it thru some days..
Please forgive yourself..Be happy, you have a real precious gift, that beautiful little girl.. Debbie

 

[Osloking]

First i must say that i feel with you, i actually have been there, where u are, i hit rock bottom and i actually happy for it since after that i never ever gamble more than i have afford to lose. gambling is one of most dangerous form of addicting out there and have destroyed so many life's in tragedy, and what is scary part is, is that its super easy to get addicted. its really good that you have stood in front and admitted this now.

what i would do in your case now is :

1. if you are deadly broke, since your`r Scandinavian you have one place called "sosial kontoret" where you can get money for your life supply, you go there and tell them everything that have happened and show them your bank account, you then will receive enough to live to your next salary. they will cover your bill and for food. they have also emergency loan where you can loan money and pay them back in small chunks.

2. admit your problem to your fiance and give her ALL control of your bank card and account and tell her how much she and your daughter means to you and you never ever going to let this happen again, we are all humans and we screws things up sometimes. and one more thing, you have now broken your fiances trust, you now need to rebuild it for your self and for her, this only can be rebuild by time and action.

3. You are one of those who do not accept that you have lost, you gamble to you win with no matter what, till there are no money left. this mean you are a competitively person, use this availability to something positive.

4. Change your email like many other have wrote, no matter how many casino you have closed you will receive gambling emails, so make new one.

5. in few weeks, you will get tempted to try some small amounts, don't do it!, instead treat your self with something nice for every time your temptation comes, like a cinema or bake cinnamon rolls with your daughter.

6. Print what you wrote on this thread and put it in your wallet, every time you get tempted, see what you self wrote, you will get disgusted feeling about how gambling made these mess.

7. Enjoy your life, it's what you make of it.

best of wishes

Michael

 

[miso]

Wrong section? Sorry if it is.

I must come clean here and say/admit that i cant gamble online anymore. I cant handle it, i thought i could, but i couldnt. Im laying here in the middle of the night typing this and i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Yesterday i got my salary, today ive got nothing left. I dont understand how i can be so damn stupid...i dont feel sorry for me, i feel sorry for my fiancee and my little 3 year old girl.

She talks about everything she wants to do during easter when daddy is free, but her idiot of a dad doenst have any money. I cant pay my bills...

Im writing this to finally admit that i have a problem. Gambling took over my life. I used to watch movies on the evenings, i used to be away with my friends, lately i have been at home playing like my life depended on it. It didnt matter that i hit monster hits on DOA, cause it all went back, and more. I cannot for my life see how im gonna tell her when she wakes up that i cant pay the bills/buy food etc.

I have really no place to turn too. I cant go to the bank, i burned those bridges. The worst thing is that it was all looking brighter, both money wise and personal, during the 10+ years ive been playing online i never ever played away money for bills and food, but now it happened...and i must admit that i have a gambling problem


=(

Just wanted to let you know that you are not in this alone. Strange as it sounds I just came here to write similar farewell message to all
the lovely people at CM, when I saw your thread.

I have lost some money over the last couple of days, 500 roughly. My wife went on a city break with the kids and I was there sitting with all
the free time in the world and couldnt think of anything better than play Doa to oblivion. The house is a mess, ashtrays full and picnic table still
not varnished. She is going to kill me when they come back, but even a cold shoulder is better then nothing.

Don`t worry, you will get out of the money trouble, but we both need to be careful, it is easy to say that we won`t gamble when there is no
more money to bet. I have been to bank yesterday, closed my account and transfered my pay to wifes account.

We need to be strong when there will be money again.

So yes, everyone, good luck and have a nice day

I wish I knew your real name, but Respin, all the best to you and your family, you will make it!

 

[wobble33]

respin

thats also very good advice off osloking. i did also notice you lost 1100.00 on wintingo then closed your account. did you recieve the 30% cashback off them. if you didnt you need to have a chat with them because you might recieve it off them 330 euro with no wr, so cashable. that would also help get a little bit money. i have never played their myself but the way i read it before, they do cashbacks. that money would get some food for few weeks too.
if you have neteller just cash it straight out, and if u have net card wd through bank. but make sure you get the wintingo account closed again!

 

[Respin_Ftw]

I have now closed all the casinos i cant think of. And i cannot never, ever reopen them upon request. They are closed for a lifetime. It feels strange! I have also unregistered from ALOT of emails and newsletters etc etc.

One nice soul has helped me with a 250€ payment (which i moved instantly from my skrill to my bank account), which made me teary and soooo happy, cause every dime counts. Still havent told my fiancee, i dont know how to say it. She got to many plans this weekend...

theres still a long way to got to clean up the mess my weak mind created.

THANKS for all the support. I am honestly amazed by all people that really seem to care.

 

[me_and_ed]

I have now closed all the casinos i cant think of. And i cannot never, ever reopen them upon request. They are closed for a lifetime. It feels strange! I have also unregistered from ALOT of emails and newsletters etc etc.

One nice soul has helped me with a 250€ payment (which i moved instantly from my skrill to my bank account), which made me teary and soooo happy, cause every dime counts. Still havent told my fiancee, i dont know how to say it. She got to many plans this weekend...

theres still a long way to got to clean up the mess my weak mind created.

THANKS for all the support. I am honestly amazed by all people that really seem to care.

You may as well tell your fiancee, you are in this together, I am sure she can sense there was an issue, my first wife new when I was in trouble, you may be surprised the support you get and either way will have a weight lifted from your shoulders because you are not alone in the "lie" anymore, I know that "dirty" feeling all to well, I would also make sure she knows the extent you have gone to in order to correct this problem, work on it together, you will need support.

Good luck!!

 

[labeled]

I have now closed all the casinos i cant think of. And i cannot never, ever reopen them upon request. They are closed for a lifetime. It feels strange! I have also unregistered from ALOT of emails and newsletters etc etc.

One nice soul has helped me with a 250€ payment (which i moved instantly from my skrill to my bank account), which made me teary and soooo happy, cause every dime counts. Still havent told my fiancee, i dont know how to say it. She got to many plans this weekend...

theres still a long way to got to clean up the mess my weak mind created.

THANKS for all the support. I am honestly amazed by all people that really seem to care.

The only way to tell her is to tell her, period. You are strong enough to do that, because you were strong enough to come here, admit your problem, close your accounts, etc. But it has to be done, there's no getting around it, there's no magical answer or payment from strangers that can fix that part.

You're in my thoughts, and I wish I could help.

 

[Marie2473]

well, the first thing i think you need to do is to come clean and admit to your Gf that u messed up. We are more understanding than u migth think ;-)

Then sit down ad go through the bills together. She aswell has some kind of income right?
Pay the most important bills, like rent and electricity.
Then call the rest and say that u had some troubles with your paycheck and ask to pay next month or so? Maybe even use a creditcard to pay for food and stuff JUST this once.
I would never tell anyone to take an Sms-Lån, however IF u know that u will be able to pay it off nex month there are "free ones" if it is the first time and it migh be better than going to "kronofogden"

Do u have any family or friends that might be able to help u out until u are back on your feet?
Also, it is a good thing that u have admitted to having problems. That IS step one.

All the best to you and Lycka till!

 

[Respin_Ftw]

well, the first thing i think you need to do is to come clean and admit to your Gf that u messed up. We are more understanding than u migth think ;-)

Then sit down ad go through the bills together. She aswell has some kind of income right?
Pay the most important bills, like rent and electricity.
Then call the rest and say that u had some troubles with your paycheck and ask to pay next month or so? Maybe even use a creditcard to pay for food and stuff JUST this once.
I would never tell anyone to take an Sms-Lån, however IF u know that u will be able to pay it off nex month there are "free ones" if it is the first time and it migh be better than going to "kronofogden"

Do u have any family or friends that might be able to help u out until u are back on your feet?
Also, it is a good thing that u have admitted to having problems. That IS step one.

All the best to you and Lycka till!

I will get denied whatever loan i apply for since i have a bad credit, and i never want a bank loan again. Thanks for the advice though. I have asked one friend, he said he wanted to help me so much but he didnt have any money for it.

 

[nisosbar]

Your daughter is so adorable, really! She bears a resemblance, IMO, to Agnetha from Abba.

 

[Respin_Ftw]

Your daughter is so adorable, really! She bears a resemblance, IMO, to Agnetha from Abba.

Thanks Niso! One can only hope she is as successful!