Not so happy

[chayton]

we're all sentient adults here...

Speak for yourself...

 

[BingoT]

I saw a pm from a certain member here threatening another member here with harrassment from the one member's

Did you show me that one or you keeping a secret from me.

Oh ^&(* I think I do remember that one.

 

[felicie]

Link Outdated / Removed

So what I want to know is why no one thought it was unacceptable behavior then?

 

[felicie]

Did you show me that one or you keeping a secret from me.

Oh ^&(* I think I do remember that one.

I don't think so Tom. It wasn't directed at me but if it had been you would have been the first to know.

 

[rockycatt]

i wish some woman wold send me crank pm's

 

[maxd]

Link Outdated / Removed

So what I want to know is why no one thought it was unacceptable behavior then?

That crap gives me a headache. Not at all clear to me who is supposed to be the bad guy and who is the victim. Might have had something to do with us not being overly attentive to it in the first place.

 

[jod5413]

Mavin,

Quit trying to be a Drama Queen. And what's this? You are using your friend Felice to try to smear me?

I told you before and I'll tell you again. After all your PMs and e-mails, you think my PM was awful and gang like? The only thing I did wrong was not add the word "too" after friends. So there you go, Mavin.

How is it you can have "friends" that threaten to smear me and I can not? Oh wait, my friends are capable of posting without having to use someone else to badmouth someone else.

To the rest of you, my PM to Mavin was simply anger at how she had been treating me when I was trying so hard to get along with her. Make of it what you will, I will not "explain myself any further".

Have a nice day, People.

 

[maxd]

WTF guys?!? Enough with the schoolyard antics already. If you want to piss all over each other at least do it privately. Not even the Attic is the place for this kind of thing.

 

[chayton]

i wish some woman wold send me crank pm's

lol Rocky - careful what you wish for!

 

[felicie]

That crap gives me a headache. Not at all clear to me who is supposed to be the bad guy and who is the victim. Might have had something to do with us not being overly attentive to it in the first place.

The bottom line for me is if there are NO rules in this forum then say it. We'll know it, deal with it or move on.
If there ARE rules and I think we all know there are, then they should apply to everyone. period.


Mavin did not get me to do anything. jetset wondered why members were thanking rediandy's post re: mob mentality and I told him why I did as did a few others. I am not smearing anyone I am in fact very tired of other people smearing people.
For example if you have decided you've got a problem gambling, it is perfectly ok to come in and say goodbye. But if you have a complaint and say goodbye you'd better have your running shoes on or a big steak in your pocket.

I didn't realize untill today that mavin had posted jod's pm awhile back or I would have asked the question (why no one cares) back then. I've tried to encourage mavin to let it all go for her own peace of mind but it has been eating at me how so many can talk about rules and then not give a damn that someone is breaking them on a regular basis.

Now I'm sorry for giving headaches and getting people riled up over past history but it wasn't dealt with correctly then (according to forum rules) and it's still going on and that's all I have to say. Thank you.

 

[BingoT]

 

[maxd]

Now I'm sorry for giving headaches and getting people riled up over past history ....

Sorry, I think you might have misunderstood. I was saying the post you linked to gave me a headache, not your post of the link (which I pretty much requested).

That said, I still don't get it. May the gods forgive me for asking, but who allegedly did what to whom? Just the facts please, I can add my own editorial comment(s).

 

[jetset]

That crap gives me a headache. Not at all clear to me who is supposed to be the bad guy and who is the victim. Might have had something to do with us not being overly attentive to it in the first place.

The trouble with these personal feuds is that they seem to drag on ad infinitum, and most folks just get bored out of their minds by the often emotional tit-for-tat exchanges and accusations flying between the combatants and their supporters, skimming over the posts or ignoring them completely.

Which is what may have happened here.

The PM system is a more considerate (to non-involved members) way to batter away at each other, but there have to be limits there too to the threats and badgering.

Unfortunately, it appears that the PRIVATE messaging facility is occasionally abused and spills over to pollute the main forum.

And that's my final submission on this issue - I'll prolong it no further.

 

[felicie]

"Unfortunately, it appears that the PRIVATE messaging facility is occasionally abused and spills over to pollute the main forum.

And that's my final submission on this issue - I'll prolong it no further".


I wont prolong it any further either; and like another man said, 'it's like banging your head against a brick wall'.

 

[gfkostas]

I would add, most respectfully, that no matter of how "right" one is in a given subject - it is of no help to the other parties involved if we start having an attitude "i'll show you am right" towards them.
Regardless of wrongs and rights we must first be respectful BEFORE we begin conversing about anything. If we aren't and we show elements of arrogance then we are disqualified to participate in a discussion in the first place.

We should try in certain spheres of life to see why it is better to be kind than being right.

 

[maxd]

... like another man said, 'it's like banging your head against a brick wall'.

Yeah, okay, I guess he would have been one of the guys who got what he settled for.

Seriously though, if you won't discuss it then nothing will happen, guaranteed, because I've got better things to do than beat around the bush trying to find an issue that rumour has it needs looking at. However, if you do discuss it something might happen, if appropriate. Your call.

 

[Mavin1]

Yeah, okay, I guess he would have been one of the guys who got what he settled for.

Seriously though, if you won't discuss it then nothing will happen, guaranteed, because I've got better things to do than beat around the bush trying to find an issue that rumour has it needs looking at. However, if you do discuss it something might happen, if appropriate. Your call.

Maxd, my question is this, if I report the pm, which I did and have reported a couple post that are to incite more flaming, what is really done about it?

Or does what really matter is who is doing the reporting? For instance if it's me, then does it get ignored, if it were say Jetset, would it be handled straight away?

You said you asked the party involved about the pm I reported, it was denied? so case closed? If I have sent pm's to this party that have been objectionable in any way, then why haven't they been reported? Because that would also be out of line for me to do. I also will never ask or entice anyone to post for me.

A pm when reported goes in it's original form and text, it cannot be altered or tampered with in any way. The pm I reported which is the one spoken of here was not a copy and paste, it was the original.

 

[maxd]

Ok, aside from the issue at hand what's with all this "why they get all the love?" stuff. To be perfectly honest with you we -- I know it's true for me and I suspect for Bryan too -- are WAY too busy with other things to even begin to think of playing favourites.

When people ask me for help I try and help them, when they report something I try and do what needs to be done. Other than that I really don't pay a lot of attention to what you guys say or do UNLESS it becomes a moderation problem.

In other words I do have a sh*t list but no "special love" list, if you get what I'm driving at. I'm sorry if this offends anyone but it's just the way it goes given the work load, the nature of the job and the carousel of peeps that pass through here. The "Wanted" posters stay pretty constant though so that's maybe why they're a little clearer in my mind.

So no, this frickin' PM issue is not receiving attention now because a "special" person brought it up whereas before ... whatever, it's too silly to even bother putting into words.

The bottom line is that the way it was worded this time around -- at first I wasn't even aware it was an old issue -- made it sound like something that needed attention, hence the attention. Before I guess it wasn't or didn't or whatever. Frankly I can't recall the details so I'm only guessing.

And since no one has bothered to summarize the issue for me (privately, if you please) I still don't know WTF is going on. Maybe it needs attention, maybe it doesn't. I honestly don't know because so far it makes no sense to me so I can't say "flag it" or "flush it" yet because I simply don't have enough information.

I should say this though: just because something gets reported doesn't mean we're going to do what you ask us to do with it. Think of the "Report Post" thing as a "hey, look at this" button not as a "this is what I want you to do about it" button. We make our own judgments based on what we see and know. Sometimes I guess you'll like what we do about it, sometimes you won't. How is that different than anything else around here? I'm suggesting it isn't, it's just the same MO as with everything else.

And last but not least: if you think one of the moderators -- umm, maybe someone named "Max"? -- is playing favourites or being a dick or stealing your cabbages or whatever REPORT IT TO BRYAN. He runs the show around here, you all know that. If he does something about it then you can conclude that he figured something needed to be done. If he doesn't then that tells you something too. Trust me, I've received "course corrections" from the big guy more than once, he ain't bashful about doing what needs to be done.

That said you should also seriously consider respecting his decision not to do something about it if that's the way he sees it. Think if it as a learning opportunity, a chance to see the thing through different eyes.

So, anyway, if you've got a serious personnel complaint don't waste your time posting about it, take it directly to the top. Posts are for chit-chatting and shooting the breeze, direct messages to the boss are for getting things done.

 

[chayton]

I think Max stole my cabbage! No wait, here it is. Nevermind.

 

[maxd]

I think Max stole my cabbage!

 

[Adversary]

....I've seen comments between the two parties made in other threads... Does somebody have the cliff notes? Pic related, it's me.

 

[Nifty29]

View attachment 26634

....I've seen comments between the two parties made in other threads... Does somebody have the cliff notes? Pic related, it's me.

The last thing the forum needs is to have all this nonsense dredged up again.

Please let it RIP.

 

[jetset]

I'll second that...it's old and unpleasant.

 

[KasinoKing]

I third that!
But before it dies again, can someone tell me what "cliff notes" are?
Never heard of that expression before.

KK

 

[chayton]

I third that!
But before it dies again, can someone tell me what "cliff notes" are?
Never heard of that expression before.

KK

Cliff notes are like the little synopsis pamphlets of big long books you're too lazy to read. War and Peace in brochure size for that book report in school.