Its time to stop chasing the rainbow

[WonderingSpirit]

Im born unlucky, and I will die unlucky. Its time to face it. Right now I'm in the middle of closing all my casinoaccounts.

In march I thought my luck was changing when I hit a random at Partycasino for 2000$+
But I have to admit, it did more harm than good.

Bigger or/and more deposits.
My fiancee getting frustrated, and I promised to stop playing.

But in my head.. just one more time..

Today while my fiancee was gone I deposited more than 10 times. I actually blocked my mind from counting. It only took my a couple of hours to spend all my deposits. Chasing losses. Very dangerous.

All i know is that, in the end I would have to atleast hit 1 small random to get in the black or 5 scatters maybe


Over 100 deposits in a row. All gone. 0 cashouts. Most of them I was never ahead.
I came close with Cherry red once, were I was at 2000+, but before WR were met, the profit was so small I just continued... to 0.

Sometimes I have wondered if the payout ratios are sorted by countries, and Norway is at the bottom. (I know the WR is higher for Norwegians at some casinos)

Anyways, Im in big trouble with my fiancee when she finds out. I promised to stop. I didn't..

Im not going to tell. Dont want to ruin the weekend. She will find out soon enough. My guess is monday.

Right now I feel frustrated, ashamed and stupid. Really stupid.

To my fellow casinomeister members. I wish you guys the best of luck. I hope you guys achieve what I didnt. To grab the big one.

For me its time to stop chasing the Rainbow.




Wonderingspirit

 

[KasinoKing]

I sure I speak for everyone here when I say no-one wants to hear of anyone letting their gambling get out of control.
When it's not either entertaining, fun or profitable it's time to stop.

Good luck with your resolve & I hope your fiance is the forgiving sort.
KK

 

[same_old]

NO!!!,

Thats not good at all wondering

I hope everything works out ok for you and you sort things out with your partner.
Would it maybe a good idea to give her control of your finances?- are you trusting enough to put your bank detials into her name so your pay goes to her for a while till you shake the monkey off your back?.

Your starting with the right course of action by closing ALL of the casino accounts, and you know you cant leave one or two open, you need to go the full stretch mate and close them ALL.
If it is a gamlbing problem you have and not just chasing a RJ then maybe access Bryans responsible gambling section and start with some tnings in there.

Start doing all the old things you used to before gambling matey.

Movies.
outsings with your girl friend
fishing
fixing up things that you left for while.
Work/study

You just need to get out of the mind frame and to tell you the truth after 2-3 weeks of not gamlbing it doesnt feel as bad, you dont get the itch as much so ou just need to get to that hurdle and once over it you will be on a path to somewhere good.

I'm thinking of you matey and fingers crossed for when you tell the misses, hope she can accept whats happened and support you through this time.

Will you be coming back to CM for shit and giggles?


Regards,

Same_old

 

[rockycatt]

your doing the right thing dont look back and theres been a lot of remarks about casino's on line tightening up ive noticed it also

so god speed my friend dont look back

 

[WagerWitch]

WOW - that sounds like me several years ago.

I just couldn't admit openly that I was a gambler.

BUT I AM A GAMBLER - and what people think of me no longer matters.

I am also a gambler who knows her limits - and while I may sometimes miss the mark every once in awhile - I have learned NEVER to tell myself that I MUST do something.

Instead, I have learned to just BUDGET myself to gamble.

And that took some training.

SERIOUS Training.

It took willpower - it took - hey - sorry - just like ANY OTHER HOBBY I cannot do it.

And now that casinos have tightened tremendously lately - it is harder to play on 100.00 deposits.

But - I HAVE LEARNED TO NEVER LIE about gambling.

I am honest and straight up about it - I don't hide it - and I don't feel bad about it.

I think... and this is just me - if you are at the point that you are hiding your gambling hobby - then it has become something that controls you - instead of you controlling it.

It has become something you are ashamed of - instead of having fun at.

If you are counting on a win to pay off your debts or your deposits then you are NOT playing for fun - and YES - it is time to stop.

If you are playing to WIN at all - and your expectation is that YOU WILL WIN - then you are in the wrong business - because chances are you will NOT win... You may - but you probably won't.

I personally play to occupy my mind and my time - and I hope to win here and there... But I know that when I deposit - My deposit is LONG GONE and I probably won't see anything from it - kinda like a GOOD MEAL - once eaten - you'll only see the REAR END RESULTS in the bathroom.

Anyhow - if you are chasing a rainbow - then you probably should realize all you're gonna get out of the chase is a fun run --- there IS NO POT OF GOLD for everyone.

And a win now - does not in the future a win make.

You are PROBABLY making the right decision - to stop... If you cannot find a safe measure to play within - then you are making the right decision to stop - and I commend you for realizing this about yourself.

I hope that if you do come back (most of us do) you make yourself a budget - or reasonable expectation - and you stick to it.

AND THAT YOU NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LIE about gambling to ANYONE.

If gambling is causing you financial hardship - then you need to know you shouldn't be doing it during the financial hardship times.

In other words:

If you have 10 dollars - and you need to buy milk and bread - GO BUY YOUR MILK AND BREAD FIRST - and leave yourself some money to buy MORE milk and bread...

But if you have 2 dollars left over not earmarked for anything - then ONE dollar can go to gambling.

That other dollar needs to be saved for the next time you need something.

YOU MUST ORGANIZE YOURSELF to maintain YOURSELF and NOT YOUR HOBBY - FIRST.

If it gets out of control - and you have no self control - then you need to step back and stop...

Which is what I commend you on doing.

If you don't come back - then - congrats...

If this is just a hiatus until you figure out the RIGHT way to do it - then we'll see you later - and hopefully under better conditions and under more strict control.

Many hugs to YOU and to every one of us who has dealt with this issue once or twice ourselves.

How you manage it - is up to you.

WagerWitch

 

[WonderingSpirit]

NO!!!,



Will you be coming back to CM for shit and giggles?


Regards,

Same_old

Im not leaving the forum. Just going to stay away from the winner screenshots.

WOW - that sounds like me several years ago.

I just couldn't admit openly that I was a gambler.

BUT I AM A GAMBLER - and what people think of me no longer matters.

I am also a gambler who knows her limits - and while I may sometimes miss the mark every once in awhile - I have learned NEVER to tell myself that I MUST do something.

Instead, I have learned to just BUDGET myself to gamble.

And that took some training.

SERIOUS Training.

It took willpower - it took - hey - sorry - just like ANY OTHER HOBBY I cannot do it.

And now that casinos have tightened tremendously lately - it is harder to play on 100.00 deposits.

But - I HAVE LEARNED TO NEVER LIE about gambling.

I am honest and straight up about it - I don't hide it - and I don't feel bad about it.

I think... and this is just me - if you are at the point that you are hiding your gambling hobby - then it has become something that controls you - instead of you controlling it.

It has become something you are ashamed of - instead of having fun at.

If you are counting on a win to pay off your debts or your deposits then you are NOT playing for fun - and YES - it is time to stop.

If you are playing to WIN at all - and your expectation is that YOU WILL WIN - then you are in the wrong business - because chances are you will NOT win... You may - but you probably won't.

I personally play to occupy my mind and my time - and I hope to win here and there... But I know that when I deposit - My deposit is LONG GONE and I probably won't see anything from it - kinda like a GOOD MEAL - once eaten - you'll only see the REAR END RESULTS in the bathroom.

Anyhow - if you are chasing a rainbow - then you probably should realize all you're gonna get out of the chase is a fun run --- there IS NO POT OF GOLD for everyone.

And a win now - does not in the future a win make.

You are PROBABLY making the right decision - to stop... If you cannot find a safe measure to play within - then you are making the right decision to stop - and I commend you for realizing this about yourself.

I hope that if you do come back (most of us do) you make yourself a budget - or reasonable expectation - and you stick to it.

AND THAT YOU NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LIE about gambling to ANYONE.

If gambling is causing you financial hardship - then you need to know you shouldn't be doing it during the financial hardship times.

In other words:

If you have 10 dollars - and you need to buy milk and bread - GO BUY YOUR MILK AND BREAD FIRST - and leave yourself some money to buy MORE milk and bread...

But if you have 2 dollars left over not earmarked for anything - then ONE dollar can go to gambling.

That other dollar needs to be saved for the next time you need something.

YOU MUST ORGANIZE YOURSELF to maintain YOURSELF and NOT YOUR HOBBY - FIRST.

If it gets out of control - and you have no self control - then you need to step back and stop...

Which is what I commend you on doing.

If you don't come back - then - congrats...

If this is just a hiatus until you figure out the RIGHT way to do it - then we'll see you later - and hopefully under better conditions and under more strict control.

Many hugs to YOU and to every one of us who has dealt with this issue once or twice ourselves.

How you manage it - is up to you.

WagerWitch

I have not put us in debt. But lately a lot of money that should have other priorities, has gone to the casinos.

Untill I hit the random in March, I was on a budget, and used to stick to it.. mostly.

I dont expect to win everytime I play, but earlier I used to have an occasional decent win, that justified my little hobby. (1000$+)

But now, im not even close. And although you should not expect to win. People do expect to win more than 1/100. I do atleast.

When it comes to a huge win (5digits), I have never expected that but always had a glimpse of hope that one day maybe.

 

[love2winalot]

Hiya: "Honey, I had to choose between Gambling, and You"...........and after i lost, yet once again on saturday, i sure do not want to lose you also, "SO I CHOOSE YOU".

Now, how you enforce this, is something you and her have to figure out, TOGETHER. But the Truth sets you free, and sometimes the truth hurts, and come monday, saying it will hurt. BUT NOT SAYING IT WILL HURT A HELL OF A LOT MORE, and last a hell of a lot longer. Good luck to you.

 

[WagerWitch]

Im not leaving the forum. Just going to stay away from the winner screenshots.



I have not put us in debt. But lately a lot of money that should have other priorities, has gone to the casinos.

Untill I hit the random in March, I was on a budget, and used to stick to it.. mostly.

I dont expect to win everytime I play, but earlier I used to have an occasional decent win, that justified my little hobby. (1000$+)

But now, im not even close. And although you should not expect to win. People do expect to win more than 1/100. I do atleast.

When it comes to a huge win (5digits), I have never expected that but always had a glimpse of hope that one day maybe.

That's the whole point - you jumped out of your budget area .

And I agree - winning 1/100 is supposed to be probable - but it hasn't been lately.

About the GF...

Well if you make a promise and you don't keep it - regardless of what it is - the GF is gonna be pissed.

If it is her money - then she will be double pissed.

You're gonna have to figure out a way to be honest - and NEVER MAKE A PROMISE YOU CANNOT OR WILL NOT KEEP.

If the GF cannot understand that YOU are a gambler - then you have the wrong GF - if you ARE going to be a gambler.

Otherwise - You need to step back and be honest with yourself.

Which is more important?

Keeping a promise to the GF - or to hide behind the promises and doing it anyway by lying...

But - if my hubby or BF told me he wouldn't do something because it made life less happy - or spent money that was earmarked for other things that I planned on... Even though he promised he wouldn't...

I have then lost faith in him.

One) He will make promises that he will not keep - so any promise he makes in the future - I will not believe him.

Two) He is willing to spend money that I had planned for other things - so HIS NEEDS comes before OUR or MY needs...

That makes me not very happy to be with a person who cannot be honest.

SO...

My friend - you're going to need to discover 3 things about yourself...

ONE) You were willing to try and lie your way out of a situation you created.
TWO) You feel bad about the situation you are in.
THREE) You have set yourself up to a NO WIN Situation.

So you will need to do:

A) Be honest - tell her what you did.
B) Come up with a way to make sure it doesn't happen again (ie: make your own account that you can spend for gambling and ONLY use that account - and KNOW that if you use anything else - then you have broken a promise and you may have a major problem.)
C) Don't lie. Tell the truth - You will still probably gamble in the future - and you're going to treat it like a hobby - and you are going to spend XX amount of money on it a month or week or year.
D) I she can't accept that - you are going to have to CHOOSE.

Her or your habit.

You cannot continue to lie to her - that is NOT healthy.

And it isn't fair.

It sucks to feel like that. It sucks to have a lie hanging over you.

It sucks to think that maybe - just maybe the hobby means more to you than another person or your honor and integrity.

It sucks to feel like that - and trust me - more than one of us have put ourselves in that position. Or something similar.

But - you have to choose what is RIGHT for you - and sometimes opening your eyes about yourself really stinks. BUT - check this dude - it's better to be honest with yourself in the long run.

Having eternal optimism about winning - is great - but it isn't realistic.

Unfortunately a lot of us have fallen into the same hole - some of us have made the same promises - put ourselves in the same position you are in.

For me... and this is just me - I made the realization that I AM A GAMBLER - and I have a budget and I do NOT go over that budget ever - and I'm not going to let ANYONE make me feel bad about what I do - I don't cut them down for watching television - reading voraciously or painting or having a cappucino or going to movies or making models or golfing or going out and dancing or whatever it is that they do. And I tolerate whoever I am with and the things they do - as long as I know about them.

But I WILL NOT LIE - and I WILL NOT HIDE ANYTHING ABOUT ME or what I choose to do - EVER AGAIN.

It leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.

I hope you manage to discuss it with the GF and everything works out.

But do NOT be surprised if she is as resentful as if you had just had an affair on her.

OK?

Good luck - HONESTY is the MOST important part.

 

[silcnlayc]

BUT I AM A GAMBLER - and what people think of me no longer matters.

Never did matter in my case...and everyone knew who I was when I met them...HONESTY is definitely a priority...

TELL your girlfriend what you have done...it does not negate the fact that it was done in a frenzy during one of a gamblers mindless acts...it happens..forgive yourself...and own up to it..it won't make it better, but it will make it RIGHT...

Please visit the miesters main page and how to control gambling...there is many helpful ideas listed there. You will need it...just like many other gamblers...they say they will either quit..never do it again etc...but you will do it again, we all have done it again... so you might as well have the tools to keep the damage to a minimum...and control IT rather than the other way around...

Good luck and good thoughts for you...do the right thing...own up to it....and find your tools to help you through it so it won't happen again....

.

 

[bryand]

While I admire the few that have sucessfully limited their gambling by self-control, most experts agree that it usually doesn't work for those with a problem. I wonder how many people with a drinking problem have died as a result of someone offering advice to have just one.

 

[silcnlayc]

While I admire the few that have sucessfully limited their gambling by self-control, most experts agree that it usually doesn't work for those with a problem. I wonder how many people with a drinking problem have died as a result of someone offering advice to have just one.

Interesting you should say this....but to become completely gambling free as an alcoholic becomes drink free, one starts with HONESTY...this leads to realization, then the CHOICE to abstain or not...There have been many alcoholics that fall off the wagon..why? same reason gamblers do..DESIRE...so for this young man..going cold turkey is not the choice, why do I say this? because he is still HERE...he doesn't WANT to quit...so, to lessen the damage...and to help him in his needs at THIS time..a guiding hand is what he needs to help him come to his OWN realization...not yours, or ours..his OWN...that maybe he needs to QUIT...

Alcholics do not need to be handed a drink...neither does a gambler need to be handed a wager...they do this on their own...one does not go to a bar if one has issues with drinking...neither does one go to a casino if one has a gambling problem...

But if they CHOSE to, and asks for help in controlling his behaviour...then you give the best you can...in keeping him from doing himself more harm...we all know abstaining is the only answer...but no one can shove this down a gamblers throat without the gambler opening wide and ACCEPTING this...and this is what is being offered...the chance to understand onself..all the expert professionals in the world also say, one must WANT to quit before any help can be had..
.

 

[WagerWitch]

While I admire the few that have sucessfully limited their gambling by self-control, most experts agree that it usually doesn't work for those with a problem. I wonder how many people with a drinking problem have died as a result of someone offering advice to have just one.

Bryan - what an ADULT does - no matter what type of addiction it is - IS THE RESPONSIBILITY of the adult.

Drinking and Gambling are very different beasts - and should NEVER be compared.

 

[bryand]

Bryan - what an ADULT does - no matter what type of addiction it is - IS THE RESPONSIBILITY of the adult.

Drinking and Gambling are very different beasts - and should NEVER be compared.

Really??? I don't mean this as hurtful or trolling. Please educate yourself about addiction. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, eating disorders or anything else is a branch off of the same limb. It is a personality disorder.

Note: I am not trying to imply the OP is addicted to anything. Only time will tell.

 

[nisosbar]

And now that casinos have tightened tremendously lately - it is harder to play on 100.00 deposits.

See, this is where I am a little different than others. I get a kick out of making minimum $25 deposits, and spinning them up into $500, $1,000, and quitting there. So I find gambling very affordable. I spend no more than a certain amount per day, whether it's $5, or $10, I probably lose, but sometimes I win, and if I win, I cash out. End of story. Because NOBODY beats the house over the long-term. So I look at it like this: if I win in the short-term, that's about as good as it's likely to get.

 

[felicie]

See, this is where I am a little different than others. I get a kick out of making minimum $25 deposits, and spinning them up into $500, $1,000, and quitting there. So I find gambling very affordable. I spend no more than a certain amount per day, whether it's $5, or $10, I probably lose, but sometimes I win, and if I win, I cash out. End of story. Because NOBODY beats the house over the long-term. So I look at it like this: if I win in the short-term, that's about as good as it's likely to get.

I don't know nisosbar, sounds like how it USE to be but lately spinning a $25 deposit up to $500 or $1,000 on a regular basis? well where the hell do you play please?

 

[nisosbar]

I don't know nisosbar, sounds like how it USE to be but lately spinning a $25 deposit up to $500 or $1,000 on a regular basis? well where the hell do you play please?

Not Microgaming, lol. Maybe I'm just a lucky one. (Mostly at Sloto, to answer your question.)

 

[DarkMage]

WOW - that sounds like me several years ago.

I just couldn't admit openly that I was a gambler.

BUT I AM A GAMBLER - and what people think of me no longer matters.

I am also a gambler who knows her limits - and while I may sometimes miss the mark every once in awhile - I have learned NEVER to tell myself that I MUST do something.

Instead, I have learned to just BUDGET myself to gamble.

And that took some training.

SERIOUS Training.

It took willpower - it took - hey - sorry - just like ANY OTHER HOBBY I cannot do it.

And now that casinos have tightened tremendously lately - it is harder to play on 100.00 deposits.

But - I HAVE LEARNED TO NEVER LIE about gambling.

I am honest and straight up about it - I don't hide it - and I don't feel bad about it.

I think... and this is just me - if you are at the point that you are hiding your gambling hobby - then it has become something that controls you - instead of you controlling it.

It has become something you are ashamed of - instead of having fun at.

If you are counting on a win to pay off your debts or your deposits then you are NOT playing for fun - and YES - it is time to stop.

If you are playing to WIN at all - and your expectation is that YOU WILL WIN - then you are in the wrong business - because chances are you will NOT win... You may - but you probably won't.

I personally play to occupy my mind and my time - and I hope to win here and there... But I know that when I deposit - My deposit is LONG GONE and I probably won't see anything from it - kinda like a GOOD MEAL - once eaten - you'll only see the REAR END RESULTS in the bathroom.

Anyhow - if you are chasing a rainbow - then you probably should realize all you're gonna get out of the chase is a fun run --- there IS NO POT OF GOLD for everyone.

And a win now - does not in the future a win make.

You are PROBABLY making the right decision - to stop... If you cannot find a safe measure to play within - then you are making the right decision to stop - and I commend you for realizing this about yourself.

I hope that if you do come back (most of us do) you make yourself a budget - or reasonable expectation - and you stick to it.

AND THAT YOU NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LIE about gambling to ANYONE.

If gambling is causing you financial hardship - then you need to know you shouldn't be doing it during the financial hardship times.

In other words:

If you have 10 dollars - and you need to buy milk and bread - GO BUY YOUR MILK AND BREAD FIRST - and leave yourself some money to buy MORE milk and bread...

But if you have 2 dollars left over not earmarked for anything - then ONE dollar can go to gambling.

That other dollar needs to be saved for the next time you need something.

YOU MUST ORGANIZE YOURSELF to maintain YOURSELF and NOT YOUR HOBBY - FIRST.

If it gets out of control - and you have no self control - then you need to step back and stop...

Which is what I commend you on doing.

If you don't come back - then - congrats...

If this is just a hiatus until you figure out the RIGHT way to do it - then we'll see you later - and hopefully under better conditions and under more strict control.

Many hugs to YOU and to every one of us who has dealt with this issue once or twice ourselves.

How you manage it - is up to you.

WagerWitch

Hi..

I agree with a lot of your posts but I take issue with the "When you deposit kiss it goodbye..." theory you have..

Maybe if you only play slots I would use this theory....but I only play blackjack with set limits on a stop loss and a limit on take profit..much like stock trading...I withdraw from almost 85+% of my deposits winning or losing around 20-25% on each one..I do not kiss my money goodbye every time I click "deposit"

I think it's wrong to just say "goodbye" to every deposit and only withdraw when you hit it big on the slots.

I know I am in the minority of online gamblers playing and withdrawing like this...but I think it's a much happier result online...I also NEVER take bonuses because that would destroy the entire system.

Just my $0.02 which is worth less and less every day as everyone and their grandma is shorting the Dollar right now

 

[WagerWitch]

Ayuh... That would work for those playing different percentage payout games like BJ and Poker...

But for slots players - unless they have some sort of magical lucky touch, they (we) tend to have less money to cash out unless we just "STOP".



BRYAN..

OK - check this... I agree that addiction is addiction. That wasn't what I was disagreeing with - and you are certainly entitled to your own opinion - I WOULD NEVER cut you down for your own personal thoughts... Those belong to you.

The difference I was speaking of was LITERALLY.

Alcoholics damage and destroy their bodies.
Gamblers do not.

(although it could be debated that gamblers could abuse their bodies if you count that they don't pay their debts and a bookie comes and breaks their legs, etc. LOL!)

But - that is what I meant.

I STILL THINK THAT ANY ADULT MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN ADDICTIONS.

If you have an addiction - you are still responsible for your actions - addiction or not.

Right?

 

[bryand]

BRYAN..

OK - check this... I agree that addiction is addiction. That wasn't what I was disagreeing with - and you are certainly entitled to your own opinion - I WOULD NEVER cut you down for your own personal thoughts... Those belong to you.

The difference I was speaking of was LITERALLY.

Alcoholics damage and destroy their bodies.
Gamblers do not.

(although it could be debated that gamblers could abuse their bodies if you count that they don't pay their debts and a bookie comes and breaks their legs, etc. LOL!)

But - that is what I meant.

I STILL THINK THAT ANY ADULT MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN ADDICTIONS.

If you have an addiction - you are still responsible for your actions - addiction or not.

Right?

I totally agree that you are responsible for your actions - addiction or not.

As you can tell this is a very important issue to me. I am not trying to attack you for having an opinion but trying to call attention to the gravity of the matter.

 

[WagerWitch]

I totally agree that you are responsible for your actions - addiction or not.

As you can tell this is a very important issue to me. I am not trying to attack you for having an opinion but trying to call attention to the gravity of the matter.

*wink*

Totally understood.

I'm not one for being rude to ANYONE for having an opinion. And I also agree that Addictions are very problematic for MANY people. No difference of opinion there.

The weight of my conversation was based not on the addiction part - but on the PHYSICAL differences and physical dangers between the two as being significantly different.

 

[silkprint]

Best of luck to you

 

[bryand]

*wink*

Totally understood.

I'm not one for being rude to ANYONE for having an opinion. And I also agree that Addictions are very problematic for MANY people. No difference of opinion there.

The weight of my conversation was based not on the addiction part - but on the PHYSICAL differences and physical dangers between the two as being significantly different.

Even if you believe the stated opinion to be potentially harmful to another?

 

[WagerWitch]

Even if you believe the stated opinion to be potentially harmful to another?

Hmmmm... I think I'm lost here.

The OP stated a "problem situation"

No matter how one rounds it up it's a problem -whether it is addiction or just silly behavior or destructive behavior -- I cannot determine it to be an ADDICTION based on only the OP thread's statements. I can draw my own conclusions based on my experiences - but cannot psychologically determine whether it was a "accident" - habitual play - addiction or just plain stupidity. LOL! (Like me - plain stupidity).

Would I tell an addict to just play a little or if they were an alcoholic would I counsel to drink a bit more? Certainly not.

But I know -from my own behavior - and that of other gamblers (who are not ALL addicts) that the hobby or the action of gambling brings one back again and again - if one decides they like the "thrills" of gambling.

Just like those who like NASCAR, or those who golf - they like the game or entertainment.

But in explaining what one means - there is a variation of the content of the comments.

Please do not take offense - as I don't believe there was any offense meant.

Just the variation: The belief that people are responsible for their own actions as adults regardless of their addictions or non-addictions.

And if someone who gambles - and is not addicted - but is going to be coming back to gambling - there is NO NEED to feel guilt - no more than someone who is a fan of a group and chooses to go to that group's concerts.

It is quite possibly semantics (or the inability to enhance typing words with the inflection of the nuances speech can bring about.)

True?

 

[bryand]

With all due respect, let's just agree to disagree, Wagerwitch. I'm not sure further debate serves any useful purpose.

 

[WonderingSpirit]

@nisosbar: Thats how I used to play in the beginning. Some of my deposits 25-50 was played up to 500-1000 and sometimes more. And I cashed out and we were happy. I would win 1/20 or something like that.

When I met my fiancee I was a "semi" gambler. In norway there were slots scattered all over town. You could find them on gas stations, grocery stores, pubs, well almost everywhere. I made some good wins on those, as the slots were mainly the same, and I somehow learned the behaviour of those slots, and kind of knew when they were paying and not paying. Slots were banned in Norway because of to many addicted players. And I think it was good. I remember seeing a woman playing at a mall one morning, with a 4 year old bored kid wating for her mom to stop playing. I revisited the mall 4 or 5 hours later and she was still standing there, now with the 4 year old crying and an older daughter yelling at her.


I started gambling online in 2005. My gf didnt like it, she never liked gambling) Only poker. And it was ok. I had a budget, and I won some small tourneys. Once I even started at 1$ table with 20$ playing against people with 2-300$. After 45 minutes I had cleaned 2 players and was up to 550$. 3 hours later I left with 1100$.

I decided to try some slots, and had a big hit in the beginning at microgaming, winning close to 1000$.

After a while in poker I used to get frustrated when I spent hours building a roll from 30$ to 500$. Just to lose all at a higher table against donk calls all in within minutes. Worst one was when I was reraised by a guy all in preflop. I had to call I had KK , he had 63 os and won on a straight. These bad beats happened over and over, and the casinos when they hit, put me up 500-1000$ in less than an hour.

So I went more and more over to casinos and less and less poker playing.


--
Anyways.

To answer some of the replies.
I have never used my fiancees creditcard. And I never will.
We both work and we both have a paycheck. None of us have high income jobs.
Some months are harder than others, but we usually get by ok. We share the economy, and pay some bills with my card, some with her.

Same_old mentioned putting my paycheck into her account. Thats actually a very good idea. Although I can use her account when I want, Shopping, paying bills etc, I could never ever register her card at a casino. No matter how much I tilt, I would never do it.

My " addiction" at this scale is fairly new. Yesterday I was suckerpunched by the casinos, and now Im not tempted to put a single dollar into gambling. Could be the "hangover" from yesterday talking.

 

[WagerWitch]

Well then - I would say WS that you probably are more HABIT formed or HOBBY formed than addiction - as you have your limits that are VERY set...

Those that are addicted will probably (At least to my knowledge) stop at nothing to gamble.

In my own opinion only - methinks you've just screwed up ---

And trust me - we have ALL screwed up. :notworthy

Just like folks in a Stock Market that choose stocks that nose dive the next day... We ALL make mistakes.

But how you deal with it - will determine your future course - and for you - I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST - whether you gamble again or not.

 

[chayton]

I personally have been addicted to a couple of....err....'substances' in my lifetime and I lost a fairly large sum of money (and time and brain cells) doing it. Once I quit, starting again wouldn't help me get back anything that I lost, it would have just cost me more. If you're an alcoholic and you ruin your liver and crash your car, starting to drink again won't resurrect either of them.

With gambling it's harder because there's the teeny tiniest chance you MIGHT make back what you've lost. Maybe you think "oh I'm down $2K or $10K....maybe I'll just make one more deposit and maybe this time I'll win to try to make back what I lost. And THEN I'll quit." And then one more deposit...then one more.

If you're playing for enjoyment it's one thing - playing in desperation to make back what you've already lost is another. I've felt myself on that slippery slope of chasing losses only once and it's a horrible feeling. When it was over I was like "Why the hell didn't I stop after losing the first deposit?"

@wonderingspirit, I wish you luck. It may be a good idea to stop completely for awhile and then later if you want to play again, make a budget and force yourself to stick to it. Some casinos will let you set a deposit limit per month, have you checked into that?

 

[LonelyHearts]

Really??? I don't mean this as hurtful or trolling. Please educate yourself about addiction. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, eating disorders or anything else is a branch off of the same limb. It is a personality disorder.

Note: I am not trying to imply the OP is addicted to anything. Only time will tell.

He's addicted. He stated in so many words in his on post

In march I thought my luck was changing when I hit a random at Partycasino for 2000$+
But I have to admit, it did more harm than good.

My fiancee getting frustrated, and I promised to stop playing.But in my head.. just one more time..

Today while my fiancee was gone I deposited more than 10 times. I actually blocked my mind from counting. It only took my a couple of hours to spend all my deposits. Chasing losses. Very dangerous.
Wonderingspirit

Gambling is EVIL pure and simple. We can spin it as fun and entertainment all we want to. Those who can truely afford to lose a few bucks here and there. Its sometimes called fun and entertainment. But for the poor its a gamble. The truth is online gambling has ruined countless numbers of lives. It has caused once happy homes to break up. Even suicide. I have had 3 wives to leave me because of it. (1 of 10 yrs who was my soulmate. I was the only man she known.) And this is just from Online Casinos. I haven't gambled in a few weeks now. I have called my ex wife of 10 yrs and we have been going out to eat and movies. I am honestly finished with it. Its no longer worth it. When a person crashes and truely tired. They will quit or seek help. I would hope the OP and most of those who have problems will address it. Its no fun being trapped in your own mind of addiction. Its NO FUN!

 

[nisosbar]

Gambling is EVIL pure and simple.

You're entitled to your opinion, but I disagree with you on this point.

 

[LonelyHearts]

You're entitled to your opinion, but I disagree with you on this point.

I expected you to.

 

[silcnlayc]

Gambling is EVIL pure and simple.

For those that allow this form of entertainment to take over their lives. Just as liquor, sex and drugs can do if allowed...Gambling is a past time just as movies, dinners out, clubbing etc is...it is only a different form that has a black mark against it because we are brainwashed into thinking this way...anything in the world can become addiction...but for some reason society decides which ones are "EVIL". Is a sex addict "EVIL"? No, they call it a sickness...just as gambling is to a few....

Evil is when one does harm to another without cause.....

.

 

[nisosbar]

I started gambling online in 2005. My gf didnt like it, she never liked gambling) Only poker. And it was ok. I had a budget, and I won some small tourneys. Once I even started at 1$ table with 20$ playing against people with 2-300$. After 45 minutes I had cleaned 2 players and was up to 550$. 3 hours later I left with 1100$.

I decided to try some slots, and had a big hit in the beginning at microgaming, winning close to 1000$.

After a while in poker I used to get frustrated when I spent hours building a roll from 30$ to 500$. Just to lose all at a higher table against donk calls all in within minutes. Worst one was when I was reraised by a guy all in preflop. I had to call I had KK , he had 63 os and won on a straight. These bad beats happened over and over, and the casinos when they hit, put me up 500-1000$ in less than an hour.

So I went more and more over to casinos and less and less poker playing.

That's interesting - that more or less describes me, too. Poker was fun in the 'early days' before EVERYBODY played it. Now you go on Stars or Tilt and you just KNOW everyone is playing with all kinds of play assistance software that make it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to win more than small amounts. Just a complete waste of time, IMO. So I've essentially stopped playing poker. Don't miss it even a little bit. Probably won't ever get back into it.

And until Stars and Tilt get serious about evening the playing field by banning use of these things, most fish like me will eventually stop, because when it's no longer fun, what is the point.

 

[LonelyHearts]

For those that allow this form of entertainment to take over their lives. Just as liquor, sex and drugs can do if allowed...Gambling is a past time just as movies, dinners out, clubbing etc is...it is only a different form that has a black mark against it because we are brainwashed into thinking this way...anything in the world can become addiction...but for some reason society decides which ones are "EVIL". Is a sex addict "EVIL"? No, they call it a sickness...just as gambling is to a few....

Evil is when one does harm to another without cause.....

.

I respect your opinion. Go ask someone who has been in recovery what he/she thought about in the beginning; and what they think about it now.

 

[LonelyHearts]

That's interesting - that more or less describes me, too. Poker was fun in the 'early days' before EVERYBODY played it. Now you go on Stars or Tilt and you just KNOW everyone is playing with all kinds of play assistance software that make it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to win more than small amounts. Just a complete waste of time, IMO. So I've essentially stopped playing poker. Don't miss it even a little bit. Probably won't ever get back into it.

And until Stars and Tilt get serious about evening the playing field by banning use of these things, most fish like me will eventually stop, because when it's no longer fun, what is the point.

I Agree 100%. I first started online at Poker.com and delta Poker. I remember when Paradise first came out. Those was the good ole days. MY accounts at pokerstars and full tilt are closed. I don't miss it either. I live about 30 mins from the real casinos. There are good live poker games 24/7.

 

[nisosbar]

I Agree 100%. I first started online at Poker.com and delta Poker. I remember when Paradise first came out. Those was the good ole days. MY accounts at pokerstars and full tilt are closed. I don't miss it either. I live about 30 mins from the real casinos. There are good live poker games 24/7.

Yeah, LIVE poker I will play, I do enjoy that. Maybe it's the whole, "I'm going to Atlantic City, wheee, gonna win some moneyyyy!" thing. Get bored at poker? Jump over to the slots or blackjack. And then there are the food comps and free hotel nights, the dustbuster gifts and stuff like that - going to B&M is rewarding in ways that online will never be able to be. And in the summer, the beach in AC is so gorgeous.

You also feel confidence that the casinos are regulated, and so you are less likely to get outright ripped off.

But yeah, online poker sucks now.

 

[LonelyHearts]

Tell me about it buddy. It feels so good to go and be treated like someone. The atmosphere is just awesome. 10+ different places to eat. I usally play about 3 or 4 hrs of poker and get my whole stay comped. Online casinos has nothing on B&M. Except the game speed. B&M no hassle no waiting to get your money. No bonus 10X+ wagering requirements. NO BULL$HIT! What I like to do is once I get there. Goto the craps table win about $100 or so and just take the whole day off and relax. Its like a free stay that day. I'll gamble a bit the next day. I hardly ever try to win big. If I can leave close to what I came with. I am very happy. I got a vacation for alittle of nothing.

 

[nisosbar]

B&M no hassle no waiting to get your money.

Yes, that is a BIG draw to B&M - same day cash payment, no fees. Ever think about that - how can a B&M with such high fixed costs (high taxes, staff payroll, maintenance and upkeep costs, capital improvements, etc.) afford to be so generous with customers, with the food comps, hotel nights, etc., where online casinos are relatively cheap??? I don't quite get the math behind that, unless it's real simple, that online casinos just make huge buckets of cash over similarly popular B&M casinos.

What I like to do is once I get there. Goto the craps table win about $100 or so and just take the whole day off and relax. Its like a free stay that day. I'll gamble a bit the next day. I hardly ever try to win big. If I can leave close to what I came with. I am very happy. I got a vacation for alittle of nothing.

In the summer, as I say, AC is great, and many non-gambling people take the $30 Greyhound there, get $25 in comps at the casino, and stay the day, go back home later, and voila, a $5 day at the beach/boardwalk.

 

[NASHVEGAS]

Can someone please tell me how cocaine, gambling, food, and sex affects the brain a la dopamine,etc.??...............or maybe you could google some medical or similar studies, or even search this forum.

@BryanD........do not agree to disagree, chemically in the brain you are spot on

 

[rockycatt]

you asked

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

a peak at the begining --------->

Slot Machine Near Misses Are Perfectly Tuned to Stoke the Addiction


.
.
To a gamblers brain, a near miss provides almost the same high as a win, according to a new study that helps explain the allure of slot machines and the difficulty that some gamblers have in walking away. The near-miss is quite a paradoxical event, [researcher Luke] Clark says. Gamblers who almost win put their head down in their hands they cant believe it. And then the next thing they do is place another bet [Science News].

In the small study, published in Neuron [subscription required], researchers had 15 volunteers play a slot machine while their brain activity was recorded with fMRI scans. When the researchers compared the scans, they found that near misses drew more blood to reward regions such as the insula and the ventral striatum than full misses did [ScienceNOW Daily News]. These areas are also activated by rewards like chocolate and cocaine; when the near misses partially activated the so-called reward pathway, it released pleasant doses of the brain chemical dopamine.

Researchers say it makes sense for the brain to respond to almost hitting a target. For some tasks, such as learning to kick a soccer ball into a goal or firing an arrow at a target, near-misses are informative. Youre acquiring the skill, and the brain should pay attention to near-misses, Clark says. But in gambling, almost winning has no effect on the next pull of the lever or roll of the dice. Games of chance tell you nothing about future success, he says [Science News]. Gambling has essentially hijacked the natural reward system, Clark says, and he adds that its not only gambling addicts who have to worry about being tricked by their own brains. Importantly, our volunteers in this study were not regular or problem gamblers, and so these findings suggest that the brain may naturally respond to near misses in this way [Telegraph].

Slot machine makers capitalize on the near-miss effect. Researchers have found that they program their games to tease players with near misses about 30% of the timea number previous studies have found optimal for getting gamblers to keep coming back [ScienceNOW Daily News]. The researchers also found that when they gave the test subjects a sense of control over the games outcome by letting them choose when to stop the first reel of the slot machine, the effect of near misses was heightened. Thats another stratagem that Vegas got wise to some time ago.

Re

 

[Mousey]

To the OP:

Go here and read this:

https://www.casinomeister.com/quit-gambling/

And if you're simply 'closing' casino accounts... go back and email them and have the accounts blocked. Tell them you have a gambling addiction and they will block them.

Get Gamblock or similar.

Email/PM Bryan (Casinomeister) and have him close your account here.

There is much to see and do and experience in this world, some of it good, some of it bad.... But don't let gambling and the worry over it take over your life.

I wish you a happy and productive future.

 

[LonelyHearts]

Slot machine makers capitalize on the near-miss effect. Researchers have found that they program their games to tease players with near misses about 30% of the timea number previous studies have found optimal for getting gamblers to keep coming back [ScienceNOW Daily News]. The researchers also found that when they gave the test subjects a sense of control over the games outcome by letting them choose when to stop the first reel of the slot machine, the effect of near misses was heightened. Thats another stratagem that Vegas got wise to some time ago.

Re

See they know we're addicts. They even program the slots to mess with our heads. No wonder there is a lot of RTG thread popping up around here. RTG slots got that self stopping button. I see RTG loves to fuck with our heads also.

 

[Wildfire7]

Hi wondering spirit,

The very fact that you have made 100+ deposits and no cashouts is a sure sign that you have problems knowing when to stop. Perhaps in the short term get a gambling blocker installed onto your computer, these will help to prevent you from opening any gambling related sites.

Also make sure you dont simply just close your accounts, or they can be reactivated at a later date. Get them to self exclude you as well.

If you have a gambling problem and are serious about quitting then continuing to participate on this site is not ideal. Perhaps join a forum with other people with gambling problems, so you can share your thoughts and experiences.

Mike

 

[WagerWitch]

Hi wondering spirit,



If you have a gambling problem and are serious about quitting then continuing to participate on this site is not ideal. Perhaps join a forum with other people with gambling problems, so you can share your thoughts and experiences.

Mike

PERFECTLY True...

IF YOU ARE TRYING TO QUIT - then coming to a gambling forum -especially ones where there are gambling promotions - is NOT the thing to do.

I realize you may have developed friends and information and connections - but if you are trying to quit gambling - you need to steer clear of ANYTHING to do with gambling.

 

[bryand]

PERFECTLY True...

IF YOU ARE TRYING TO QUIT - then coming to a gambling forum -especially ones where there are gambling promotions - is NOT the thing to do.

I realize you may have developed friends and information and connections - but if you are trying to quit gambling - you need to steer clear of ANYTHING to do with gambling.

Good point, Wagerwitch. Now I think we see eye to eye on this issue.

 

[WagerWitch]

*wink*

 

[NASHVEGAS]

Good point, Wagerwitch. Now I think we see eye to eye on this issue.

*wink*

Where is Babs???.........I have always considered some of the intial Luigi threads as misguided as it gets but those threads are not a party of "ONE" per se by any means. As much as I blow members minds, this forum blows my mind with it's open arms to the addicted!!

Kinda tough knowing some respected members that live double lives on this forum and they were not victims of the tough economic times. But at the end of the day, I suppose I shouldn't interfere or even express my opinion nor in some cases concern, one must want to help themselves, I got my own issues to deal with........GOOD LUCK

 

[silcnlayc]

NASHVEGAS:this forum blows my mind with it's open arms to the addicted!!

I do not know if you were trying to be fecetious or not..but I am taking it in the vien I am understanding it ...and that is that, you want this forum to ignore a player asking for help, send them away...etc ?

To totally ignore someone that has come here and explained his dilemma, and wanting advice...is rude and unhelpful.

There could be some players on this forum that are addicted...but who are we to judge them? Who are we to ignore them?

If a player that is addicted comes to this forum freely...and asks for help, who are we to turn our backs to them?

I mean , do we shut the door on everyone and anyone that has a bad gambling day out of the norm, and stigmatize them with the claim they are "addicted" without cause?

Your opinion is valued just as any one else's. When someone asks how they should come clean to their mate...why not give your experience if you had one in how to do this instead of wanting to banish them to their own resources without support for getting back to normality which is what I understood was what he wanted?

Just my 2 cents...I feel if they can gamble, and are full grown adults...then the responsibility to own up to an addiction is on them...not for us to point fingers especially when they are down...and asking for help.

.

 

[kakata]

... this is a gambling forum.....where should an addict go? to walmart?
He /she could go to gambler anonymous....I know...the think is that an addict, doesnt know yet that he/she is one, otherwise he/she wouldnt be an addict.....!!!!

...and ,beside all that, lets try to help eachother instead of trying to be "D Best"poster at all costs.
Many of us have lost fortune....and I mean a lot a lot a lot of money and now all of sudden we want to judge others instead of trying to help em?

kakata

 

[WagerWitch]

Sometimes because a player goes beyond his means or his "NORMAL" standards in a ONE time situation does NOT make an ADDICT.

Pure and simple.

Does going to a frat party and BEER Bonging it - and getting so drunk you are puking make every Teen Boy and Girl an Alcoholic?

NO.

Gambling, hobbies, sports - they ALL require a learning phase.

Since when did screwing up mean you're an addict.

Now... If someone said - I keep gambling - I'm in debt - I'm borrowing money to fund my gambling - I'm hoping to win to pay it all back - I just cannot stop gambling for MONTHS now...

Then I would say - POSSIBLE ADDICT.

But any activity - be it drinking, gambling or whatever - sometimes PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES.

And some people repeat their mistakes... For a little while... Or way down the road.

But THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE ADDICTS.

Addiction is truly a different beast, in my very humble opinion.

And I will tell you - I COULD give up gambling... I could NEVER do it again... Just like I could decide never to read again - or drive my car again - or eat sausage again.

But a true addict - well - NOTHING matters but feeding the addiction.

But I choose to enjoy it as a part of my life.

I'm not DESPERATE to do it --- but I will say that there have been times I have misjudged my finances before... There have been times I might have not quite told the truth because I was worried what people might think of me.

But I decided - it doesn't MATTER what people think.

Gambling has a "TABOO" on it. And well folks - that is something you have to figure into the equation.

A lot of normal every day people who are NOT addicts - will treat gambling as if it is something that is "EVIL" or nasty - or something to be hidden...

Which I believe causes most of the problems.

NOW - problem gambling is a different beast entirely.

NOTE that I said - ADDICTION IS A DIFFERENT BEAST.

If you were a TRUE addict to gambling - you probably could give 2 craps about what anyone thinks.... You probably have no cares about your finances.

I DO KNOW SOME TRUE GAMBLERS who have not yet faced up to their addictions and Gambling has controlled their lives... To the point of losing houses, losing cars, losing family.

ME... I learned my lesson when one bank got drawn over - and my husband got upset. OOPS - I did NOT mean to do that... And well - I learned my lesson. That doesn't mean I won't do it again or it can't happen again, I am, after all ONLY human.

BUT - I know better and usually make myself stick to my budget - and go no further.

Like I said - I GAMBLE - that is MY hobby.

Trying to take away the stigmata of gambling from people who have it ingrained in their head that a person who MAKES MISTAKES IN GAMBLING - is an ADDICT... Frustrates me.

People make mistakes all the freaking time.

People misjudge the distance to the parking pole - and back up into the pole hurting their cars... ARE THEY POLE or CAR ADDICTS?

People fall down when they roller skate - are they falling down addicts?

People eat too much at a buffet - are they buffet addicts?

Give me a BREAK.

Taking responsibility for your own damn actions - and fixing your mistakes as they come up - is a NORMAL part of life.

Now... if you keep making the same mistake - and it becomes necessary for you to KEEP making that mistake - and keep falling behind and KEEP losing and then you lie about it to cover it up - BUT you must gamble or do whatever it is that you do at ALL costs - well then you might have an addiction.

But gamblers are prone to mistakes and screw ups just like ANY OTHER thing.

I think most gamblers have HIGH Hopes... but are NOT addicts.

And most people who make mistakes are NOT addicts.

I am not an addict.

And I highly doubt most people here on this forum ARE.

I think more people here are hopeful - and some have systems to hopefully win - but most... are just every day people who choose to play gambling games for fun (or possibly profit if they have a system down).

Anyhow - to have yourself classify someone who makes an error like this an addict is demeaning.

It is demoralizing.

PEOPLE FREAKING MAKE MISTAKES.

It is the repetition and NOT learning - that makes it different.

So - forgive people who make those mistakes - and quit calling them addicts.

IF they don't learn from them - (and yes, some people who are NOT addicts make the same mistake a couple of times in a row - or later down the road... Just like a hobby shooter misses his mark sometimes - or normal families misjudge their budgets sometimes...) IF they don't learn from them and figure a way to mix it into their life - then there might be a problem.

But gambling makes a lot of people HIDE and LIE.

And that makes the mistakes - the hiding and lying seem MORE like an addiction.

When it isn't.

People shouldn't have to go through that type of brainwashing guilt.



****NOTE: Before ANYONE says anything - let me say that there ARE addicts. There ARE addictions - and ANYONE going through an addiction NEEDS HELP... Addictions are horrible - and it's awful to see someone you care about - or yourself go through them...

This is about KNOWING that you are NOT addicted to gambling - but being made to feel like you are - because you enjoy it and continue it ---- And feeling guilty about it.

STOP feeling guilty and get responsible - enjoy your life and your gambling too - BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

Stop lying about gambling if you are...

BE RESPONSIBLE for what you choose to do... Whether it's money... spending time at the computer or games... Whatever you do --- MAKE SURE IT WORKS FOR YOU.

And that is what I had to say.

I can't tell you whether the OP is an addict - and I won't treat him - her - you - me - like an addict until the determination that you/him/her/me happens to be an addict...

And an addict shouldn't be here - because an addict gambling is something entirely different than most people.

An addict gambling is someone who has NO control - and is NOT responsible for their actions and WILL not take responsibility - and it doesn't matter WHO gets hurt - how often they get hurt - and it's a horrible thing to watch someone else go through.

So know thyself.

If you're an addict - then you should seek help - PROFESSIONAL HELP - counselor, clergy, an Anon group - or whatever... But you need help.

If you just screwed up - well put your bootstraps on and damn well fix it.

 

[silkprint]

If you're an addict - then you should seek help - PROFESSIONAL HELP - counselor, clergy, an Anon group - or whatever... But you need help.

Right on ! and for all the pages and pages of this thread, that's pretty much what it comes down to . Noone here is qualified to help someone with this problem . All the great advice and compassion in the world isn't going to help until someone is ready to get help .
As a side note : it is refreshing to see so many people here who care about one another .