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My father passed away today from Cancer.

Lord_Have_Mercy said:
My father passed away today after a 3 years battle with liver cancer. He was my best friend and I will sorely miss him.
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Dear Lord_Have_Mercy,

Your father finished his work on earth and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of you left behind with a cry or agony in our hearts. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their age, grief, horror, and desolation.
I can't assuage your pain with any words, nor should I, for your sadness is father's legacy to you. Not that he or I would inflict such sadness by choice, but there it is. And it must burn it's purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you hear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as "God" sees, and to love as "God" loves.
Now is the time to let your grief find expression-no false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to your father, thank him for being with you these few years, and encourage him to go on with whatever his work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from his experience. In my heart I know that you and he will meet again and again and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other.
And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: why this had to be the way it was.
Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts-if we keep them truly open will find their own intuitive way. Your father was in your life to do his work on Earth, which include his manner of death. Now his soul is free, and the love that you can share with him is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.
In that deep love, please include me.

In love
~gfkostas~
 
So sorry

Im sorry for your loss. I don't know you very well but know that losing a parent to cancer is terrible. I lost my mom to it. If you need someone to chat with, please feel free to contact me at [email protected]

Sometimes it is easier to talk with someone who can be objective. Im going through this right now with my Aunt and it is a horrible thing. At least he is no longer in pain. You've probably heard that a million times today but it is so true.

Please just make sure you talk to someone and not get lost in a casino to relieve your pain. Im not saying that to be funny, that can happen and I don't want things to get even worse for you.

Be Well
Barbara
 
My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. I hope you can gain strength in each other. And remember that the pain that you feel is because of the great love you shared. As much as it's not a comfort now, in the future it might be. If we didn't feel that pain, it would mean that their time on earth was wasted. And what a shame that would be.

Take care.
 
Sorry to hear that LHM. I went through the same thing in June. It's hard but take some solace in the fact that he's free of pain and now in a much better place.

Simmo!
 
Last edited:
Thanks Everyone. We all are truely a family here at casinomeister. The reason I chose this name (LHM), was because I knew when we found out want type of cancer he had. It would take the work of the Lord to spear him. He fought for 3 years from a cancer (liver) that normally kills you within 8 months. On top of that he had lung cancer also. I really miss him and hope to continue to be strong throughout this. Even though Im grown (32 years of age). I dont know where I will go for wisdom and advice. He always was there for me whether I was RIGHT or WRONG!

You guys are my family also and this is where I come to vent off or ask my questions. Most of you have respected me, while others have expressed their comments in a strong manner. I love you guys here!
 
jenn1381 said:
If you were to die... and no one mourned your death... no one was sad and felt that sting... It would mean you weren't loved.
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If someone don't cry for you does that mean that he doesn't love you? I see you associate pain as a confirmation of your loving someone but that isn't something I agree with.

If i were to die and be able to look at those left behind I wouldn't like it at all if they were depressed fpr me. That's not love, that's addictive sentimentality.
 
I am so sorry to hear about this. My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so I know that the fear alone is bad enough. I really hope that you and your family can make it through dealing with this loss, and my prayers are with you. Take care.
 
gfkostas said:
If someone don't cry for you does that mean that he doesn't love you? I see you associate pain as a confirmation of your loving someone but that isn't something I agree with.

If i were to die and be able to look at those left behind I wouldn't like it at all if they were depressed fpr me. That's not love, that's addictive sentimentality.
Click to expand...

Actually, I just happen to be a person with very strong feelings, my love runs deep and my heart breaks when someone I love is lost. I'm sorry you don't see it that way, and to be honest, I wonder how many loved ones you've lost. I'm not saying my loved ones who've passed want me to be depressed and crying constantly, however, at first, that's just how it is. Having lost my grandma 4 months ago I can still say there's many times where my heart breaks all over again for the loss. And absolutely no one can tell me it's not normal, it's called grieving and its a natural human process with no time line. It has nothing to do with being addicted to anything, it is because I love her and she's not here, plain and simple. A heart that loves is a heart that will eventually break. Human nature for most. For the rest, perhaps they are lucky. Perhaps not.

We're going to have to agree to disagree, and I hardly believe this is the right post or even the right forum for this discussion.
 
gfkostas said:
If someone don't cry for you does that mean that he doesn't love you? ...
Click to expand...

what you are saying is that crying/grieving are necessary for it to be love. what they were saying is that grieving is sufficient to show love. G implies L, but NOT(L implies G) in formal logic (i can't do the symbols in here). :cool: common fallacy.

other side of the coin, a prescriptive norm (suggesting lhm ought to grieve/let it out, whether it is to show love or to preserve the psyche) cannot properly be introduced, as it is true that crying/laying flowers/whatever 'typical' grieving gesture might not be beneficial to every single person and other things (perhaps burning in effigy or self-mutilation) might give more relief to some but would certainly not be passed on as prescriptive 'ought-to' advice.

but charitably, the intention was not to recommend a certain course of action or represent the connotations of those actions to a scientific certainty, but only to validate the feelings of lhm and help provide some sentiment/relief with respect to the loss that occurred. to try and refute one's anecdotal wisdom in a case such as this is both very faux pas, and also not even necessary as the advice was not given in a persuasive manner (to demonstrate the truth of the claim or to prove the suggested course of action was favourable or necessary) but simply to give a point of view and a bit of sympathy. let's all agree to disagree.

LHM, very sorry to hear. it is such a terrible disease. i have two recent cancer survivors in my family, and my grandfather passed away 5 years ago in october from cancer as well. i dealt with it with very little grieving, he meant very much to me but as many have said when you see them in the hospital, you know that their body doesn't have much left and that living within such restricted confines and in continual pain is not really living. that said, it is staggering to lose a loved one, but the mere fact that it does hurt us inside and that we commune and sympathise and indirectly feel what we have not personally witnessed/experienced is part of our nature as human beings. of that we can be sure.
 
Lord_Have_Mercy said:
Thanks Everyone. We all are truely a family here at casinomeister. The reason I chose this name (LHM), was because I knew when we found out want type of cancer he had. It would take the work of the Lord to spear him. He fought for 3 years from a cancer (liver) that normally kills you within 8 months. On top of that he had lung cancer also. I really miss him and hope to continue to be strong throughout this. Even though Im grown (32 years of age). I dont know where I will go for wisdom and advice. He always was there for me whether I was RIGHT or WRONG!

You guys are my family also and this is where I come to vent off or ask my questions. Most of you have respected me, while others have expressed their comments in a strong manner. I love you guys here!
Click to expand...


Real sorry to hear about the loss of your father Lord_Have_Mercy. I dread the day that my father passes away. I am real close to him as you were to your father. Take it one day at a time and remember all the good times.
 
So sorry sweetie,
He is in a better place now, and not in anymore pain.

I understand how you feel as my Father passed away suddenly in April of this year. The world seemed to move in slow motion in the months that followed.

Please try and be strong. I promise you the pain will slowly fade, and as time passes you will find yourself thinking of the happy memories you had of your Father. He will always be by your side even though you cannot see him.


Lane13
 
I would like to thank everyone for the kind words and support. My father fought liver cancer for over 3 years. I remember taking him to the Hospital in Atlanta when they first discovered the tumor on his shoulder blade. And now he's gone. The night before he passed. I fed him breakfast and dinner. We sat up and talked about politics and shared a few moments. My mother arrived later and I went over a friend's house to spend the night (I had stayed at my dad's house for the past 5 days). My father was very active up til last week. A guy from hospices came by and told me that he didnt think my father would make it through the night. But the next day he was up and walking, he even went and fixed him something to eat and drink. It seems like he was doing his normal routine even though he was very weak and frail. The next day was when we sat on the couch and talked like father and son. Death wasn't a topic, though we talked about how he fought this type of cancer for 3 years. The next morning my mother called me and told me to come quick my father wasn't responding to her calling his name. I went over and called his named he responsed by opening his eyes but quickly drift back off. I tried to give him some green tea to drink. But to no avail he just couldn't responsed. I then called hospices who quickly arrived and check his vital signs which was 50/50. The lady told me he was resting comfortably and was in no pain. And that he could pass anytime maybe 3 or 4 days from now. After telling her thank you and that it wasnt no need for her to stay, she left. We then called all of his brothers and sisters and they came over. I went to the mailbox to get the mail because cars was blocking it when the mailman was pulling up. I grab the mail and turned around and my uncle comes out the door and says "HE'S GONE!". I was his only child.

Thank you all for your support!
 
Sincere condolances

I have been away from the computer for a few days and just read your post.
I want to offer my sincere condolances. There is nothing I can say to make you feel any better. I've been down the same road, so I know. My prayers are with you and your family.
 
I am sorry to hear of your loss.

I Lost my father to cancer in January, and my father in law a few weeks prior to that. Cancer is a horrible thing. I was very close to my father also. Not many men can say that their dad was their best friend. That is something to be proud of, and I am sure you have many good memories.
It will be very tough, but take comfort in the memories.
 
Indeed...sincerest condolances for your loss. I had a very good friend of mine succumb recently to cancer. He complained he was always tired and went to the Doctors and they gave him 3 months to live. He was 41. His wife and 3 young daughters are left to carry on.

I hope the sun shines your way again soon.
 

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