I wonder what it actually says.
"Dear Donald (Tusk, not Trump)
I am writing a half-hearted note, under sufferance, because the backstabbing shits that call themselves MP's will do anything aside from deliver the will of the electorate. So as you have no doubt seen, today we witnessed yet another debacle of our broken Parliament who have made me write this letter. So in order to satisfy the requirements of the two-faced sycophants who made me do it, here it is. I request another 3 months to not deliver Brexit, not to be allowed a General Election to establish a workable majority and not be allowed to break wind in case the Supreme Court intervene.
In the meantime we can enter into some more pointless discussions toward a pointless deal which will be turned down anyway by our traitorous MP's. Better still, ignore the Germans' £40bn trade surplus with the UK for a day and just tell us, in basic Anglo-Saxon, to FUCK-OFF! Don't give us an extension, it cannot achieve anything in the current construct of our Parliament. Then we're sorted. We get a no-deal Brexit and I can roll Article 50 up and shove it up Corbyn's arse while telling him it wouldn't have happened if he had had a pair of balls. Then me and Farage can have a good ol' piss-up in the pub, laughing at Sturgeon jumping around like a burning grasshopper.
So, as prescribed by our unbiased Supreme Court, consider this Parliament's fucking request for an extension. Recycle it, burn it - I don't give a shit. I would happily ring up another European leader on the quiet and get them to veto the extension, but no doubt Gina Miller is tapping all the phones with her lawyers ready to override 17.4 million citizens. So perhaps you could do it, eh Donald? It'll not be forgotten next time you bastards over the channel start killing each other, by the way.
Anyway Donald, enjoy the rest of your long weekend and the EU bureaucrat's 25-hour week, sorry we won't be paying for it too much longer. Please also think of me on Monday when I have to look across the benches at that scorpion's ringpiece Swinson, that bug-eyed Krankie and of course that deluded berk Worzel Lenin who thinks the working class love him. Then afterwards me and the GF can settle down with a bottle of claret to watch the BBC's unbiased political coverage which always manages somehow to have EU flag-bearing protesters in the background. On second thoughts, scrub the wine. Perhaps you can find a well-paid pointless EU job for Laura Kuensberg?
So long Donald, nice chatting, good luck next time you seek re-election by the people! Sorry, so sorry, I wasn't taking the piss, when you get reappointed by the other 27 EU leaders ahem.
Yours, BOJO"