Male logic

[just play]

This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,

And if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."



(If you're female, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Males will get it the first time.)

 

[Smokeycasino]

WOMEN LOGIC:

 

[skiny]

I saw a girl with "Juicy" across the ass of her pants once.

My first thought was "I hope that's not actually describing her ass."

 

[Seventh777]

Female logic:- It's your birthday and your wife/gf buys you two shirts, that night you're going out for a meal and you're upstairs getting ready, you enter the room wearing one of your new shirts, she looks you up and down and then at the shirt and asks "What's wrong with the other one?".

Women - Don't ya just love `em?.

 

[skiny]

I think the most famous one for women is "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

My following line is usually something like "Ok, so lets follow that logic but assume I know nothing. That way you'll have no reason to talk."

 

[Seventh777]

Or.."Those damn workmen whistling at me, every time I go past their site", gets considerably worse when this happens..."Those damn workmen not whistling at me, every time I go past their site".

 

[Tirilej]

Or.."Those damn workmen whistling at me, every time I go past their site", gets considerably worse when this happens..."Those damn workmen not whistling at me, every time I go past their site".

This one I can agree to. It's annoying when they do, but now when they don't anymore that's sad

 

[dunover]

Me and my wife were lying in bed this morning (I was lying to her and she was lying to me...)

I haven't spoken to my wife for 3 days now- I daren't interrupt her.

 

[Seventh777]

A woman's best friend is a chunk of super heated and highly compressed carbon. A man's best friend is a highly intelligent creature capable of aiding with hunting, eyes for the blind, security, transport, fetching and companionship.

 

[chayton]

One day Ray turned to me and said, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the world." I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, "I'll miss you!"

 

[Seventh777]

One day Ray turned to me and said, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the world." I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, "I'll miss you!"

Hahahahaha, damn you I just choked on a mouthful of (that's what she said) wine.

 

[chayton]

Hahahahaha, damn you I just choked on a mouthful of (that's what she said) wine.

hahaha...thanks you've been a lovely audience, I'm here til Thursday.

 

[skiny]

I've probably mentioned this one before but it fits the thread.

My exwife told me she wanted an exercise machine once.

So I went down to the garage and dragged the old rotary lawn mower up to the house and said "Knock yourself out."



I figured it was win - win.

 

[Smokeycasino]

Women Logic:

 

[Realitybitez]

 

[dionysus]

Omg hun, I won the lottery. Woo-hoo, start packing!

Should I pack for hot weather or cold weather?

Who cares! Just get out!

 

[just play]

Who enjoys sex more

A man and a woman were having drinks, getting to know one another and started bantering back and forth about male / female issues. They talked about who was better in certain sports, who were the better entertainers, etc. The flirting continued for more than an hour when the topic of sex came up. So they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” He then went on for several hours arguing his point, even going so far as to ask other men in the bar for their opinions. The woman listened quietly until the man was finished making his point. Confident in the strength of his argument, the man awaited her response.

“That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about this – When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better- your ear or your finger?




now that's logic

 

[skiny]

View attachment 37055

Dear Abby,

I have trouble making friends.

Now what the F!@# are you going to do about it?

 

[skiny]

A man and a woman were having drinks, getting to know one another and started bantering back and forth about male / female issues. They talked about who was better in certain sports, who were the better entertainers, etc. The flirting continued for more than an hour when the topic of sex came up. So they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” He then went on for several hours arguing his point, even going so far as to ask other men in the bar for their opinions. The woman listened quietly until the man was finished making his point. Confident in the strength of his argument, the man awaited her response.

“That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about this – When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better- your ear or your finger?




now that's logic

Usually my ear is just pretending to feel better but to be quite honest my finger doesn't really care.

 

[just play]

My ear pretends it's satisfied with that fingers itch, but it's not, so it finds another finger.

 

[Smokeycasino]

 

[Seventh777]

My ear pretends it's satisfied with that fingers itch, but it's not, so it finds another finger.

You bad girl lol, my finger just throws the ear taxi fare home .

 

[chayton]

Hah...that reminds me of another old joke.
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.

 

[skiny]

Hah...that reminds me of another old joke.
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.

Some women fake it too well. Like the one who tried to dislocate my shoulder with her forehead and then tried to bite the corner of my ear off. The third time I said "Hang on, I'm gonna run out to the car and get some rope. I'm not really into bondage but it might be safer if I tied you down."

Another woman tried to convince me the male G-spot was inside the anal canal. I said "I don't care if last week's winning lotter ticket's up there, you're to going up there looking for it."

Now back to female logic. This was an actual telephone conversation from a few years ago.

Her - I heard you were saying I wasn't your girlfriend.
Me - You said you didn't want a relationship. You just wanted to be friends.
Her - That was before we slept together.
Me - Ya, that was about 8 minutes before we slept together. I thought it still counted.
Her - If we're sleeping together it means we're dating. I don't sleep with my friends.
Me - That's ok, once we start dating we probably won't be friends long anyway.
Her - 'Click'
Me - Hello?

A week later she called me back and asked if I wanted to come over.

 

[Seventh777]

Hah...that reminds me of another old joke.
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.

Women have orgasms? wtf .

 

[chayton]

Women have orgasms? wtf .

Mum's the word...you didn't hear it from me! oke: