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Why do some people blame others and claim to be victims? [good read &short ]

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by rockycatt, Oct 15, 2013.

    Oct 15, 2013
  1. rockycatt

    rockycatt meistercatt

    Occupation:
    carpenter
    Location:
    Boston
    Why do some people blame others and claim to be victims?





    In: Home & Garden, Human Behavior, Jealousy [Edit categories]





    Answer:



    HelloI have to say whoever wrote this answer is an incredibly smart person that has just made me feel very validated in a place where I did not think it possible. Wow. Thanks you so much. Living with an extreme victim is not fun. Thanks again. Dr. Phil doesn't measure up to you on his best day.

    People who continually "pass the buck" or blame others suffer usually from a sense of worthlessness, or low self esteem. Sometimes this may be a direct result of improper or negligent parenting, whereby these were never able to establish a sense of self-importance which eventual translates into deprivation on some level or another. Sometimes these individuals may be missing a parent do to divorce, a death of a spouse or a parent who "ran-off" and never took the time to nurture the child. The remaining parent may be irresponsible, and fail to do their job also. Never the less, there comes a point in every man and woman's life where they have to come to grips with these unfortunate life experiences and take responsibility for themselves. While it may be easy to point a finger at those who refuse to be held accountable, at the same time we must recognize the huge deficit or loss that lead to this behavior. Striking a healthy balance may lead to avoidance or walking away!

    While we must remain objective concerning these, we must also refuse to feed into this behavior. By doing so, we actually assist the "blame-passers" in continuing their assault on others. Eventually these individuals can wreck others lives because they remain bitter, unaccountable and below the surface broods an anger like a ticking-bomb waiting to go-off. Usually these manifest a passive-aggressiveness that initially helps create a mask or facade they hide behind. Often blaming others for their inability to change, they not only become "blame-passer's", but "life-wreckers" as well. Many times they pass on this illness to their own offspring. In there refusal to be held accountable, they develop a selfishness that denies others the chance to grow. Their children often become replica's of themselves. They destroy families, children, and have only one goal: "PASS-IT-ON".

    From these avoidance may be the most effective management tool. Not sowing into their sickness, may allow their fire to be put out. Usually they look for other victims, being victims themselves, and through this unhealthy-co-dependency, their legacy lives on. Having many dark moments of secrecy and self-betrayal, thet cannot be trusted, as their perception is mostly cloudy even on a clear day. Like a ripe disease this virus attacks the weak, the innocent and strikes at the very peace of those around them. Always, looking for someone else to pay the price of their own ineptness, their own self-loathing--they lose relationships and trade healthy friends for those who are of the same jaded nature.

    Their stubborn refusal to take responsibility will eventually mean the loss of a spouse due to unfaithfulness, the loss of a job, and family members who end up turning away. Always being hunted and playing the victim allows their ego's to be stroked and coddled. When others are forced into playing their game--this actually gives them the fuel to believe in their lies. From such an encounter, if one has the ability--reveal this behavior and refuse to sow into it. If these rise up in anger--walk away and avoid until the time comes when they face their sickness.
    MW
     
    2 people like this.
  2. Oct 15, 2013
  3. dionysus

    dionysus can turn wine into water CAG MM

    Occupation:
    n/a
    Location:
    I'm a Canucklehead
    I blame Home & Garden
     
    6 people like this.
  4. Oct 15, 2013
  5. chayton

    chayton aka LooHoo CAG PABnonaccred webmeister

    Occupation:
    Freelance Designer
    Location:
    Edmonton Canada
    I blame Dionysus.
     
    5 people like this.
  6. Oct 15, 2013
  7. Andy Walker

    Andy Walker Full Member

    Occupation:
    Tax Payer
    Location:
    UK
    Sounds a little like Münchausen syndrome by proxy to me but I ain't a doctor like!
     
  8. Oct 15, 2013
  9. chayton

    chayton aka LooHoo CAG PABnonaccred webmeister

    Occupation:
    Freelance Designer
    Location:
    Edmonton Canada
    I actually have a person in my family who that article could have been written about. They refuse to take responsibility for anything that happens as a result of something they did, and always try to shift the blame to someone else. "I was driving home from the bar and ran into a power pole and totalled my car, but the cop is a jerk and doesn't like me and so now that **** took my license away - now I don't have a way to get to work and it's that cop's fault." "I was coming home from a party and the cops pulled me over and because the kids mom is such a bitch and called them and my two toddlers weren't in car seats they took my kids away and it's all her fault."

    Sucks but both of those things actually happened. I can give more examples but it's too depressing.

    And they also have one person in their life who constantly and consistently enables them and makes excuses and either covers for them or bails them out whenever they're in trouble. Whenever that person isn't around anymore, I know some 50 year old man who is finally going to get a rude awakening on how things work in the grownup world.
     
    3 people like this.
  10. Oct 16, 2013
  11. slotplayer

    slotplayer Senior Member webmeister

    Occupation:
    webmaster
    Location:
    USA
    I get it occasionally with my mail order business, they provide an old or incomplete address and some how its my fault.

    I hate the ones that tell me it never showed up after 4 or 5 weeks. really you waited 4 or 5 weeks, didn't know the package was coming did ya?

    Most times its because a signature is required and they were not home, but they all tell me there was no notice left, cuz I mean the tracking says, notice left.
     
  12. Oct 16, 2013
  13. skiny

    skiny Banned User - violation of <a href="http://www.cas

    Occupation:
    Doing everyone else's job.
    Location:
    Canada
    Trust me I know how these people feel. People are always pointing the finger at me just because I caused it. It's not my fault I'm always to blame.
     
    3 people like this.
  14. Oct 16, 2013
  15. Andy Walker

    Andy Walker Full Member

    Occupation:
    Tax Payer
    Location:
    UK
    I would hazard a guess that if someone pulled that trick on you they would somehow regret it too a very large degree?

    :cool:
     
  16. Oct 16, 2013
  17. rena35

    rena35 Senior Member

    Occupation:
    writing/poetry
    Location:
    cyber space
    I blame cable t.v for having over 200 channels and nothings ever on.:D
     
    1 person likes this.
  18. Oct 16, 2013
  19. Andy Walker

    Andy Walker Full Member

    Occupation:
    Tax Payer
    Location:
    UK
    Oh nothing on PLEASE :) , I am an avid fan of the "Price is Right" with the ever youthful Drew Carey and his sudden and continued change in body mass and the contestants who show such joy, glee and amazement at a large block of metal that cools foods and drinks, they refer to them as refrigerators with a price tag of only $3,599 I think.

    I do admire the excitement they shower on the show, I would have never thought people from Des Moines, Iowa would clap their hands so hard they would possibly need medical attention when offered the chance to win the device.

    Maybe me :)
     
    2 people like this.
  20. Oct 17, 2013
  21. skiny

    skiny Banned User - violation of <a href="http://www.cas

    Occupation:
    Doing everyone else's job.
    Location:
    Canada
    I'm not a psychopath... geez. lol
     
    1 person likes this.
  22. Oct 17, 2013
  23. Nifty29

    Nifty29 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    PAID CASINO SHILL
    Location:
    Turn right, then right. then right again
    I always blame others for everything. I guess that's my fault eh?

    Oops.
     
    4 people like this.

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