This sick hobby (warning--quitting gambling rant)


Dormant account
May 4, 2006
Well, it's been fun, kind of, well not really.....

I have officially cut myself off from any future online casino deposits. The $900 profit I had earlier today turned into a $500 loss because of my complete lack of self control. I don't even know how it happened. I want my life back and the only way I'm going to get it is if I don't ever play slots again. I am glad some have you have managed better than me, but other than KasinoKing, aka23, and granny I highly doubt that there are many people out there are ahead overall. I am sorry to say that I now see gambling as a degenerate, time wasting hobby that perpetuates the idea that money buys you happiness. I wish I would have quit while I was ahead. I think everyone here could benefit from taking a good look at themselves and re-examining why they get pleasure out of tossing electronic money around all day. Recently I have been chasing my losses, but before that I enjoyed winning money online because then I didn't have to worry about anything in real life since I had extra money to have fun with. I was trying to avoid responsibility.

Gambling sucks. It takes all your money, wastes precious hours of life in this beautiful world, and leaves you feeling like crap. I'm sorry if this offends anyone but I hope all of you can find the strength to walk away and get your lives back. I know that not everyone loses lots of money and that some people keep strict limits on their gambling budgets, but I'm guessing that at least 90% of gamblers lose more money than they would like to lose, and to those people I wish you luck. If anyone has any kind words of encouragement I could really use them because I am feeling pretty crappy about myself right now.
I hope the forum doesn't mind me providing this link:
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. A real eye opener for me.

I think we all reach our breaking point sooner or later. For the average person, this is not the best hobby to have. It really does suck the life out of you.

Mr. Van take a look at the link I provided, I hope it will help you. It has for me. I won't say good luck on quitting because luck has nothing to do with it. Take it day by day and put some safeguards in place to help you.
same for me. I have to quit gambling. I lost so much money the last days, that I have nothing left for the last days this month for normal living.
So I have to go to my bank tomorrow and get a credit. Best would be to delete all casino software and stop online gambling for the rest of my life.

Hope to keep my self control for that.

MrVan and Jeff -

Sorry to hear of your bad experiences. The link Austin49 provided is a good place to start - and my old site Got2Bet should also have a link to some compulsive gambling sites at the bottom of every page.

I recommend that everyone stick to a budget - especially important (like for me) - only leave what you need in your Neteller account for the month, and also ask them to disable your Instacash facility, which is cool if you can stay in control but if not can be a downward spiral (trust me I know).

Once you reach your budget, that's it. And every time you have a win, send most of it straight back to your bank account.

I wish you good luck in your future endeavours.
Good Luck to ya MrVan

Good Luck to ya MrVan Just hang in and better things in life are on it's way.
What you say may have other people thinking before they gamble again.
It's true we all say we will quit but we are all looking for that rainbow and no rainbow ever comes.
For control I say gamble what you can afford and that's it and always remember family comes first.
I wish you the very best.
I looked at that site that Austin49 posted and it's very good for all that can use the help.

Take care and better days are on the way.

And everyone as the time of giving is almost here I like to Wish you all the very best also

Happy Thanksgiving
And God Bless

To be honest the advice of sticking to your budget probably won't work for mr van, he's already admitted discipline problems.

I think cold turkey is the best, with the help of the gamecare and similar sites. He's both losing money and unhappy doing it, what's the point of coming back with a budget if it's stressful addiction and not enjoyable.

Good luck Mr Van and enjoy your time away from the computer

Everyone who participates with online casinos/poker rooms needs to understand their own motivations and keep these impulses in check. Kudos for Mr.Van for bringing this topic up. Everyone here needs reminders that there is a real world out there.

If it's games that keeps you playing - check out the "for free" games that IGT and Leading egde designs make available. There are a number of really cool VP and Slot games here:

If this is the case, book mark these sites:
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If it's money you're into, like Spear said - disable your Insta Cash at Neteller.

Another tip, turn off your computer and go take a walk. Get into the real world. If you have a family at home, go play monopoly or some other game where money is involved. You can take care of that "money" fix this way.

If playing online ever affects your relationships or makes a serious dent in your bank account. Stop doing it - period. Thunderstruck or online poker is not worth screwing up your life.

Here are a few links for reference if you feel you have a prob.:
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Some good sources listed here:
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Also, somewhere in the forum - there is a link to a site that offers a service to block all gambling related websites from your computer. If anyone can dig that up, that would be great.
I am also a compulsive gambler. I have to admit that when casinos started to lock my accounts because of the new law I felt pretty good. It felt like someone was going to stop me because I knew I couldn't stop myself. I received an inheritance this past January and I wasn't working. Obviously I was able to stay home and gamble ALOT. Needless to say, I blew through half the money by gambling. When the money was gone and I needed to get a job I found that the urge to gamble was quite diminished. I think it was because I now had a job in a big company where I was involved with a lot of people and I had a lot of stimulation in my life. I think sitting in front of a computer keeps you from a "real" life. I feel I am being satisfied by other thing now such as making money, a career, and even some romance. This post is really directed towards those of us who really do have a problem. Please understand I mean no offense to those who can deposit $20 and play for an hour and then STOP. I cannot do this. If I have the funds available I will gamble until it is gone. I do not enjoy playing for "fun money" if I know I can't play for real someday. It just doesn't cut it. Maybe some of us have to go cold turkey but maybe if you have alot of things to "fill" you up in life, the gambling could become just something you do occassionaly. I don't know if this helps but it's the best advice I can give. God Bless, Debbie
Gambling is an addiction. I was 8 when I was first introduced to it by my father. I had a $2 winning ticket at the race track and thats all she wrote.

I have learned to moderate my gambling with the attitude of , tomorrow will also be another day. I didn't quit, for I have tried and the urge was even more powerful, so I knew that I had to do something for myself and that was to get a hold of it as tightly as it held me.

Now, when I play online, I have a goal to reach and if it is reached, I cashout. If I lose, I log off and play in fun mode for "practice" until I feel the urge is gone (boredom sets in and I leave the computer.) this is my way to control my gambling for I know I have tried all other courses, and I know I DON"T WANT HELP for I like to gamble more than I want to quit.

But I knew there must be a medium somewhere and I learned to control myself this way. I fall off the wagon every once in a while (when I have a large win and play most of it back at times which infuriates me) but it has happened less and less to almost once ever 10 withdrawals, which is acceptable to me for I am still ahead on withdrawals since I implemented this pattern ten years ago.

They say if you do it for 21 days (repitition of play) then you have a pattern set and a mind change. It took me 30 days to set my pattern.

I learned to spend more time with my husband this way, knowing if I blow my stash in one go..I am outta there!

I hope you can find that medium to control the urges to play online, for it is truly an awful thing to live with at times, but it also can be more enjoyable when you get to control IT rather than let it control you.

We all have choices and to choose to master this, you must believe you are the stronger of the two.

Good luck in your road to freedom!

I admit it is boredom that does me in. Having been disabled and unable to work for years, I found it way to escape these walls.

Good news is I am finaly recovering from the disability . I went to work for week, but had an allergic reaction the the chemicals I worked with and was in the hospital in one week, that sucked, but during that week I did not gamble. I was so happy just to be out of this house! Also , I now know I CAN work, wich has lifted years of depression, and I have been doing interviews all month, and just had what I think was a sucessful interveiw with a very good comany. Can be stressful finding a job being a woman in a mans feild,
and having a 6 year gap on my resume. Also being 35 not 25. But Im still happy at the PROSPECT of getting out this house! I too spent everything that was extra online gambling. I hate shopping, and buy most of what I need online,lol But Instead of saving any income I made at home say torwards a home downpayment, I would just blow it. It made me depressed. I am on a break rite now, and have erased all the online casinos and have been spending my efforts into finding a job . I sold my affilaite website , as that just tempts me more to spend money,lol All I did with the earnings was gamble them anyway, though it was fun running it, in a sense it gave me something to do.

I had to look at why I was gambling so much. I know it was boredom for me,
and so I am findng ways to overcome boredom and I find the thought of sitting at this computer spending more money at this time, just makes me feel sick. It just reminds me of being bored and sick. I honestly woul still be doing it if I were still ill and no options to get out of this house. Im just thankful I am finaly feeling better:)) And mabey after I get working a while , I may throw a little bit in here for fun, and have it actualy be FUN again, not something to do because there is nothing else to do:)

I guess for me, it's a compulsive personality. I know people who can have one or 2 cigs a day and they never go beyond that. For me, I just an not able to have that kind of control.

I am happy I'm not a drinker. Otherwise I'd have a triple addiction.

To those who can control their gambling, I'm happy for them. It is alot of fun! When I got my visa bill this month, I knew I was out of control. It was like someone punched me in the stomach.

Anyway, best wishes to everyone!
If I see all the winner screenshots, I allways had the hope to get the same wins. But I think I am a player with no luck. May be I played wrong (only slots).

But for now I will stop my online gambling at least for two month and to see if I have more money at the end of the month.
but other than KasinoKing, aka23, and granny I highly doubt that there are many people out there are ahead overall.

You are wrong here. There are many people that are ahead, but just does not want to brag about it in the public forums for different reasons.
I read this topic with some fascination. I play some casinos, but living on a social security income it is hard to fund accts all the time. I disciplined myself in this regard as i take 50 dollars a month for online gaming. This is my entertainment.

I can hear some saying that is not much, but i have made many withdrawls. I also disciplined myself to hit that withdrawl button and not put my winnings back in. This goes into neteller so i can play different casino.

My advise is never use your living expences to gamble! Make a budget, and stick to it! Make sure your bills are paid and only use what you can afford to lose. Oh by the way...i never look at winning screenshots any

I have been in the situation where i was using my living expenses to really takes discipline to stop doing that. I am happy now and so is my bank acct....good luck to you in stopping gambling.
I'm kinda glad someone posted this thread. MrVan, the best thing you've done here in this situation is admit that it can be a problem..and no one should really be shunned for it (as long as they recognize it before they get in any deeper).

I have definitely been there, whether its online or at the B&Ms, state lottery, name it. It is a pretty bad feeling when you have to "beat the bank" to make sure your checks clear, or find yourself going back to the ATM time and again, and heck.. even counting change in the car to make sure you have the toll money to get back (happened to me, luckily, this tow truck driver stopped and said something (I think he could tell cuz I was down the street from the casino early in the morning parked at this 7-Eleven), gave me toll money and enough for a cup of coffee...he too, had been there.

That was quite awhile back and I'm making better money now in my job..but gets outta control once in awhile where even if I didn't need the money for bills and had extra left over.. I could have spent it on so many other things that I definitely could say I had something to show for my money.

Its difficult to draw the line between recreation and what can become a compulsive hobby. I think at times when I "lost control" is primarily when I didn't have enough money for what I needed and saw this as the only way out..believe me, it never works (so to speak, turn a dollar into a hundred).. at least..not when YOU REALLY NEED IT and are acting in haste. And you end up in an even worse position.

I think the biggest loss at times is the time that can be taken up when gambling gets out of control. I am being frank here, because I think it helps even better to hear it from someone who has been there, so yes, I've made mistakes and just have to be sure to never forget them. I have missed beautiful weather days and times that I could have spent visiting friends and family, missed sleep, being late to work, and cramming things I've needed to do in a hurry and stressful rush because I've spent most of the weekend sitting in front of the computer, or even at the B&Ms..I've watched the sun go down and come back up again, and finally left when the sun was going down tired that I was afraid I wouldn't make the drive home. I've seen shifts change at the convenience store playing Keno for hours. Yes, this is absolutely ridiculous. But one only knows what it's like when they are in that position.

I really do enjoy gambling, the thrill and excitement of it, and some of the things that accompany it.. but you really have to live and learn, and if you can find that appropriate balance then you truly are lucky. If not, the best thing to do is to stay away from it, and enjoy all of the other things in life.

I wish you all the best, MrVan..and any others that feel that they are in this same position. It is not too late. :)
Wow all I can say is THANK YOU everyone. Your support means so much to me and I know I will be happy again soon. I am surprised that this many people responded... it seems like there are many people out there trying to quit. I really appreciate it though. I thought this thread would be mostly ignored.

Thanks everyone :thumbsup:
Giving up gambling isn't easy MrVan.

I've been to GA, visited websites, given up my bank cards, have my salary paid to my partner - the whole shebang.

But it still hasn't stopped me. I always find a way.

YOU have to WANT to STOP.

Without YOUR willpower, you cannot do it.

Just remember that YOU and only YOU are your own destiny.
Gambling is an addiction. I was 8 when I was first introduced to it by my father. I had a $2 winning ticket at the race track and thats all she wrote.

We both share an introduction to gambling at young ages. For me it was a cruise ship (the P&O Iberia) @ 5 and a couple of sly one arm bandit pulls (thanks to dad) scored me a jackpot (around 150 Pound in 1966).

I've gone ass up a couple of times in my life thanks to gambling & my own stupidity. In probably 25 of those years (legal age gambling) I've let close to a million dollars AUD slip thru my fingers; that's not including winnings.

But it's not the money that's the biggest loss, it's the friends, family and partners and most importantly one self that you end up disappointing and letting down @ the end of the day.

Fortunately over the last 2 years I've managed to get my gambling under control. These days I only use disposable income. What I make in my off line business I use for living, savings and general expenses. What I get from my casino portals I use for gambling or special treats.

I'm still not ahead, but I try not to chase my loses, I think that's the key, well for me it is anyway.

If my Neteller is bare then I don't gamble. I've not gambled since 25 Oct 2006.

Sometimes I think wtf but I then remember what it used to be like & I don't want to return to living like that again!

Believe me there is nothing more grounding that not having a cent in your pocket and realising that you have destroyed another relationship & business in another out of control gambling binge.

MrVan thanks for posting this thread, I'm sure you'll find your way to where it is you really want to be!

Edit: Now if I can only find a way to kick the smoking I'll be happy :D
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Meister's got the links I was referring to :)

Budget control can be a real PITA sometimes. This is one of the reasons I disabled Instacash last year (though it's been re-enabled for other reasons). Once you don't have Instacash, and no nearby casinos, there aren't many other ways to fund your gambling unless you want to wait 3-4 days for an ACH deposit to clear Neteller (by which time hopefully the urge is gone anyhow). Your credit cards won't work (in many countries) so that's not an option.

A bank wire takes time to process as well - but if you're willing to go to the bank and consider something like this, you ought to take a left turn somewhere and go find something else, like a video arcade, or even a GA meeting... video games can be addicting too but they are way less expensive!

Gamblock is something you should install on your computer right away if you want to quit. I believe the software is free. Another way could be to enable your anti-whatever programs like McAfee or Norton which will block most of the ads - as well as Net Nanny or similar, which will also prevent you getting to the actual sites.

MrVan, I think you will be surprised (well, I guess you're already surprised) that there are a lot of people who sympathize with you - and many of us who have "been there, done that" as well. But you can also take heart in the fact that many of these people have also beaten their demons... better control of one's emotions doesn't happen overnight.

I have a less severe example - I once reached a weight of 107 kilos (about 235 pounds) which was way the heck over what I wanted to be. One day, as I was enroute to South Korea for a conference, I felt a bit strange... and by the time I had landed, I knew I had the flu - and I almost never get sick. That trip I could barely eat, and by the time I was back I had lost about 5 kilos (normally I gain 5 kilos on trips).

Since then, my weight gradually worked its way down as I started eating smaller portions, not because I tried hard, but because I was generally occupied with something other than eating... hovered between 95-97 kilos for a year or so... then dropped to 94 recently after going to a spa and hitting a far infrared sauna which took nearly a kilo off after just 25 minutes.

Before I knew it, I had dropped below 94 - and then I knew I was going to make an effort since I was nearing my target weight of 90 or below, without having actually tried. Dropped the carbs last week and lost 2.5 kilos in 4 days while still eating like a pig LOL... then unfortunately had to go to Dublin and you can't exactly choose when you're in the middle of nowhere so I've probably put those 2.5 kilos back on - but back into the low-carbs as soon as I got back and I am hoping I will hit the target before my next trip which could come any day now.

Believe it or not, there are ways to get around your emotions. After doing all those things above (disabling Instacash, etc.) find something - anything - that you like doing - and do it often if you can - especially sporting activities. Or come over to Thailand and work for me for a few months... I guarantee you will forget all about online gambling :D

Trezz said:
If my Neteller is bare then I don't gamble. I've not gambled since 25 Oct 2006.
Exactly. No instacash, no funds in Neteller, no gamble.

Trezz said:
Now if I can only find a way to kick the smoking I'll be happy :)
Next on my list - first I gotta hit target weight. Can't try to beat two things at the same time, and I also don't believe in going cold turkey - too much emotional stress will not help a bit, it will chase you right back to your old habits.
It is both sad and encouraging to know that others have lost more than I have, but right now I need encouragement so I will take it as that.

Here is a list of 10 things I like to do besides gamble (thanks for the diary space Casinomeister :D )

1. Golf! (too bad it's winter lol)
2. Drive my car (Infiniti G35 coupe 6-speed :thumbsup: )
3. Read books, like Carlos Castenada's series or Timothy Leary type books
4. Play Xbox 360 (mostly just the racing games and Tiger Woods)
5. Think about my future, what do I want to learn and accomplish?
6. Listen to music
7. Do good in school (mechanical engineering right now, thinking about switching to a math major)
8. Buy weird lamps and other intriguing lighting apparatuses (I've always loved Vegas just because of the lights, not the gambling)
9. Eat french fries (my favorite food!)
10. Love my girlfriend and make my parents proud of me.

Ahhh that feels good.

Spearmaster I have the opposite problem as you ... I am 6ft tall, 130lbs (less than 60 kilos lol) and sitting on my computer all day is just making me scrawnier. Hopefully now that I am putting gambling behind me I will find time to work out a little and be able to break 130 lbs. for the first time in my life.

I've never even really had an urge to gamble more than $20 of my own money, it's just that after that $20 is gone, I can't stop even if I want to. It wasn't even about the gambling anymore. There were even times when I was almost in tears telling myself "DO NOT DEPOSIT ANY MORE MONEY" over and over as I helplessly watched the mouse cursor click the deposit button. I can't wait to remember what it's like to see gambling from the outside once again.
Good news! I just got hired!!!! (comment on my earlier post)

Start Wensday, in tool and dye:)))

Im out of this house:))))))


Yeah, congratulations! :thumbsup:

That's what I do, and it's tool and die, not dye. But you're obviously very excited. :)

Gambling does attract obsessive/compulsive type personalities, doesn't it? I myself am definitely in this category. I wish our shared hobby had never brought such unhappiness to anyone on this board.
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