- Joined
- Dec 16, 2004
- Location
- Palm Bay Florida
Politics Quotes & Jokes
Politics Quotes
"A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar." H. L. Mencken
"Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties." George Clooney
"Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material." Dave Letterman
"Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living." P. J. ORourke
"Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary." Robert Louis Stevenson
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." Ronald Reagan
______________
The politician
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang.
He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, heck, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
______________
Political Thoughts
The bigger the ego the thicker the skin,
The bigger the lie the smoother the spin,
The more the disdain the wider the grin -
There’s only one goal and that is to win.
The promises made they never will keep,
The artful denial of prejudice deep,
The wondrous reforms that are not, but they’re cheap –
The goal is the same. Who cares if we weep?
When to serve all the people is to serve only one,
To distribute the wealth is something they shun,
And the cudgel of fear has only begun –
Democracy’s lost. Self-interest has won.
Politics Quotes
"A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar." H. L. Mencken
"Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties." George Clooney
"Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material." Dave Letterman
"Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living." P. J. ORourke
"Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary." Robert Louis Stevenson
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." Ronald Reagan
______________
The politician
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang.
He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, heck, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
______________
Political Thoughts
The bigger the ego the thicker the skin,
The bigger the lie the smoother the spin,
The more the disdain the wider the grin -
There’s only one goal and that is to win.
The promises made they never will keep,
The artful denial of prejudice deep,
The wondrous reforms that are not, but they’re cheap –
The goal is the same. Who cares if we weep?
When to serve all the people is to serve only one,
To distribute the wealth is something they shun,
And the cudgel of fear has only begun –
Democracy’s lost. Self-interest has won.
