I'm flattered and would be happy to help CM in any way I can but, and this may shock some people, I have, in the not too distant past, been known to adopt a certain tone that could be interpreted by some people, people whose sensitivities might just be a little more heightened than that of any possible variety of random, flattened roadkill, as less than what might be considered ideally suited, diplomatically speaking, for the purposes of "moderator" as it is usually and customarily defined in the majority the modern societies which have discontinued the practice of cannibalism as a means of asserting authority.
But if you really, really need me for something, in a pinch, just whistle. You do know how to whistle, don't you? That's right...just pucker up and blow.