My facebook reminded me of a post I made for fun in there this time last year ( I never bothered with using the dating site )
Finally finished it!
My dating site profile April/2020
Username : Covid-19.col
Unfortunately I am not 19 but I hope the dating site algorithm confuses my username and throws me in that age group
Occupation : Respiratory Theropist- Cute enough to take your breath away,Smart enough to bring it back
Relationship status: Made dinner for two,ate both.
Seeking: Seeking a relationship with Covid-19 because given past experience it will soon feck off!
Does: Laugh at yourself or I probably will
Don'ts: Believe the rumours that no one is interested in me or that I make it difficult for someone to love me-Its the lockdown
Enjoys: People sniffing
Interesting thing I have noticed: Covid spelt backwards is DIVOC. I will leave it for you to fill in the blanks
What I have recently learnt: I have no reason to get stressed over a few weeks of lockdown. My ex controlled everything for bloody years anyhoo
Expressions of love: Sense of smell is often sited as a symptom of Covid-19. If I fart and shove your head under the sheets I am only performing a health check.
I also withold the right to inform your kids of this method.
Hopes for the future: I hope that some fecker will invent a see through toaster before the end of the lockdown!
Surprising effect of this virus: I've washed my hands so often that I can now grate cheese on the back of my hands.
First date: Quarantine and chill night watching a box set simulatiously
What I can promise to begin with: The safest sex that you will never have.
You need to: Live local so I can send you wine via drone as well as home made drop scones
My unusual tollerances: I have a short term tollerance to unshaved legs and uncut hair
My top tip: Change your Netfix password in order to cut of your ex's supply during this awful lockdown
Wishes for my loved ones? To really piss of one of my girls so that she carries out her threat in knocking me into next year.
Col