Adoption Awareness !!!

[LaurieJim]

Well it has been one year ago today that my Daughter had Emma and did an open adoption, a most selfless act on her part.

Today is Emma's 1st Birthday and as a Grandmother who is involved with Emma and her adopted family , I have to take a backseat when it comes to expressing my joy on F/B and such for the privacy of the adopted family as well as my Daughter and Emma.

It hurts my Daughter on days like this and who can blame her , what do you say?

After our talk , she is much better and looking forward to our trip this month to see Emma again , the adopted family has embraced my Daughter and my family as a whole and wants us to be involved as much as we can and this is the beauty of an open adoption.

My plea to any family or someone they know whom is pregnant and undecided , like we were over a year ago , please think long and hard about adoption , it is the most blessed gift you can give to another family and the best gift you will ever give to an unborn child .

Happy Birthday 1st Ms. Emma Grace , Memaw loves you very very much !









Laurie

 

[dunover]

A beautiful idea, but in the UK it would come up against a wall of legal wrangling, social workers, benefits rules and ultimately courts. Even if all those involved assented.

 

[LaurieJim]

A beautiful idea, but in the UK it would come up against a wall of legal wrangling, social workers, benefits rules and ultimately courts. Even if all those involved assented.

So they don't have open adoptions in the UK , I mean the family is screened , can see that part of it and the couple must be financially able to take care of the child. There are so many children in our respected countries that need families and yet we go overseas to adopt , all children deserve to be loved . It breaks my heart to see children from countries going thru the trash for a meal , there has to be a better way.

Laurie

 

[dunover]

So they don't have open adoptions in the UK , I mean the family is screened , can see that part of it and the couple must be financially able to take care of the child. There are so many children in our respected countries that need families and yet we go overseas to adopt , all children deserve to be loved . It breaks my heart to see children from countries going thru the trash for a meal , there has to be a better way.

Laurie

No, but I agree with the idea as you've demonstrated it. You've really provided an example of 'fostering' where children are placed either temporarily with foster parents or as a test before permanent legal adoption. Couples here have to go through hell and high water to get a legal adoption, and fostering alone comes with so many caveats the amount of foster parents is limited. Having said that it's not unusual for children to be allowed to live with a relative and be brought up by grandparents or aunts/uncles on a long-term basis but this arrangement is usually (even if continuous) classed as 'temporary guardianship' until a judge rules for permanence.

 

[anniemac]

Laurie,

She is a beautiful little doll.

I don't know the circumstances involved but it takes someone with depth of character to put the child's welfare above her own.

It is also wonderful that the adoptive parents are so receptive to letting your family be involved.

 

[vinylweatherman]

No, but I agree with the idea as you've demonstrated it. You've really provided an example of 'fostering' where children are placed either temporarily with foster parents or as a test before permanent legal adoption. Couples here have to go through hell and high water to get a legal adoption, and fostering alone comes with so many caveats the amount of foster parents is limited. Having said that it's not unusual for children to be allowed to live with a relative and be brought up by grandparents or aunts/uncles on a long-term basis but this arrangement is usually (even if continuous) classed as 'temporary guardianship' until a judge rules for permanence.

We do have "private fostering", where a parent places their child with someone by mutual agreement. However, those then caring for the child are required to register the arrangement with social services if it exceeds, or is planned to exceed, 28 days. Social services also then have the power of veto, which could result in the child being taken into care. It would be very hard then for the parent to get the child back, because by making the arrangement, they have indicated that they cannot care for the child at the moment.

These is a serious shortage of foster carers in the UK, but many are deterred by the process of being approved, which is seen as both overly intrusive and draconian, and in some places, subject to "political correctness" which tends to weed out anyone who is not "blandly average". Fitting the exact criteria seems to be more important than shifting children out of institutions and into family based foster care.

Adoption is harder still, and even when approved, it can take years to get matched with a child, yet there is a severe backlog of children waiting to be adopted. The fact that people frequently adopt from abroad demonstrates that a shortage of willing adopters is not the main issue. Those who adopt from abroad still have to be approved by their local social services in order to get legal custody of the adopted child recognised under UK law.

Any kind of private adoption does not confer any legal rights to the adoptive family, the birth parents can take the child back whenever they like, and social services can break up the arrangement on a whim. Open adoption tends to be frowned upon because of the fear it would lead to complications that would cause damage to the child concerned.

However, it is now theoretically possible for single people to adopt or foster, regardless of sexuality. In practice though, it can be hard if the local social services decide to take a moral stand against so called "gay adoption". Those that are willing seem to believe that for child protection, a gay couple should only be permitted to adopt a child of the same sex as themselves, which seems to fly in the face of common sense.

The fact that single and gay people manage to adopt could also be taken as a sign that there is such a shortage of willing adopters that they do indeed represent the best option for those children concerned, rather than a sign of pandering to the PC brigade.

 

[SlotMonster]

Can someone please explain to men what does "open" adoption mean? I searched for it in Google and Wiki, but still didn't get it.
And what was the reason for adoption, if the girl's mother is still alive?

Thank you!

 

[vinylweatherman]

Can someone please explain to men what does "open" adoption mean? I searched for it in Google and Wiki, but still didn't get it.
And what was the reason for adoption, if the girl's mother is still alive?

Thank you!

It's where the child retains regular contact with the birth parents, yet goes to live permanently, and becomes the legal responsibility of the adoptive family.

There are occasions here where the state will remove a child from it's birth parents and let another adopt them, even against the wishes of the birth parents. In such cases, you don't get "open adoptions". Where it's done by consent, it's usually because the birth parent knows they would not be able to look after the child themselves, but don't want to surrender them to the state. An open adoption by consent can be seen to best serve the interests of the child in that they will be properly cared for, but that contact with the birth family can be maintained for as long as the child wishes. Where an adoption is not "open" there is no right of contact between the child and birth family, and it can even be a criminal offence to seek contact before the child is 18. It extends to the child having no right to know who their birth parents are, even if both parties consent, until the age of 18. This can really bother children in their teens who are old enough to understand, and want to find and contact their birth parents, but are forbidden to do so until they are 18.

 

[LaurieJim]

Can someone please explain to men what does "open" adoption mean? I searched for it in Google and Wiki, but still didn't get it.
And what was the reason for adoption, if the girl's mother is still alive?

Thank you!

My Daughter is very much alive and well but at the time when she was pregnant she was in an abusive relationship and he gave up all rights legally to the unborn child , he had wanted an abortion.

We stood by Andrea 100% when she decided to do adoption an open adoption , she went thru a legal adoption network and listed her desires about wanting to have pics and later be a part of the child's life , we went thru 100s of profiles and settled on meeting one family and it was a match made in heaven.

When Emma was born the adoptive mother and myself were in the delivery room with Andrea, they feel that the more people that love this child the better life will be for her and now it is suggested that an adopted child learn as soon as they can understand where they came from as they do not have to find out in their teens or from strangers.

I love my Grandaughter and we get to see her often and am proud of my daughter who can now go back to school and maybe one day meet a nice fellow and have other children, there is no disgrace in adoption on either end, only when a child is neglected and not wanted or raised by parents who abuse them , now that is a disgrace.

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

Laurie

 

[secret2]

Laurie, first off..your grandchild is beautiful!

I think that open adoption is a good thing. It does save the child from trauma, I would think, later in life as there is not a feeling of, ' why did they give me up?, or, 'was I that bad?'... I can't imagine that feeling.

Open adoption is a wonderful thing, just as long as the biological parents can deal with the rules of the adoptive parents.

Your daughter is a very brave and unselfish person, Laurie.

And you are such a good mother to hold hands with your daughter through this.

Hopefully, this will be a win-win, situation.

It's a beautiful thing. God Bless.


( Btw and not wanting to put a black spot in this thread but relatives of mine adopted a child...he never knew who his real parents were and felt awful most of his life, hence he eventually went into a hospital to get help. He died young.)

I am all for open adoption. Awesome, Laurie.