I think the hardest battle i fought, was against myself and my body, as i can relatie to anxiety or hyperventilation. The amount of times my heartrate just went up sky-rocket out of nowhere. The amount of times i struggled taking a simple walk. The amount of times i called the ambulance because i ate something like salami and suffered heart burn thinking it was a heart attack. Every day i have to convince myself and this is proberly like a uphill mount everest battle type of shit that i'm FINE and my condition, health and everything around is perfectly normal. It's just that, anxiety leads to several complications you really cant put a finger on on why it's happening.
But as time passed by and i never really gave, the battle against my own, i got stronger out of this. And quite well to be honest. I walked the stairs earlier today up to 7 floors because my cat sneaked outside of it. I did'nt pinch doing it and it was another motivation to KNOW i'm conditionally fine where before my body would even struggle making 5 steps already due to this anxiety. The culprit i narrowed down for myself was a bit too much of my own succes in running my own business. I had to adept and spread my time and effort more balanced, while even working more productive then ever.
And since then things are going pretty much well for me. Knowing i overcome a battle that is proberly one of the toughest i can pretty much take onto anything at this point in life. People have to discover themself, the quality's or strenth people do have and start working on it. Once you discover you can be disciplined, you'll understand that you can walk more easy away from gambling in the first place. If gambling is constantly 24/7 in your head, it means that it has a grip on you and your mind, and you need to step back.
If you think depositting 200k in less then 24 hours is the right thing todo, you need to seek help. Because in my understanding risking pretty much your savings for you, your wife and your kids is the most ridiculous thing you could do here. But it's not the end. You have perspective, for some reason you accomplished gaining 200k on your own here already so the loss you could perhaps even double if you just put some motivational shit in your work and just dont look back at gambling.