Wow Harry 1 million EUR is a lot of money to give to "charity"
My story started when I was about 8. There was a very dingy amusement arcade in town next to an ice cream shop that had 3 bandits and some pinball machines. Me and my mates used to hang out and watch folk stick money in them. I was fostered and I was not happy with being there. By the time I was about 10 I used to riffle through my foster mums purse that was full of notes then either play the machines in the dingy joint or skip school and go to the coast with a mate and play the machines there.
I was a bit of a shit really and by the time I was 13 I was back in care and hanging about with like minded gits. Me and another lad in care used to pinch lead from anywhere we could. Church roofs, along the side of houses phone cables where left swinging after we pinched the lead that kept them in place. We melted it down and sold it to scrap dealers. All that went on fruit machines and a packet of fags. I recall that the mate I mentioned and I used to go to a coffee shop that had a fruit machine in it and spend our money in that. A guy came in and asked us if we would like to do some work for him. We agreed,but while we were travelling in his van the guy started talking filth so I demanded to get out of the van. My mate then ended up doing other "work" with this guy to get money on a regular basis.!
By the time I was working I threw any pocket money into machines.By the end of payday I was skint.I never had trouble getting dates or girlfriends but as I got out of my teens women where no longer content to just hang about in doors or do things that didn't cost money so I missed out on dating quite a few girls because I never had any money to go on dates.
At 23 I moved down south to take up my first responsible job. But even though I had plenty of money I struggled to go even one day without feeding machines. Sometimes I would wake up and have fruit machines on my mind.
Luckily I had the sense to keep away from anywhere that had fruit machines as soon as my now ex wife became pregnant and we got married. I never touched a fruit machine from that time 20 years ago until now.
These days I like to think that I get my priorities right first then I carefully manage my budget for online gambling which I only started with early last year.But sometimes I blow that budget very quickly and it takes a lot to stop myself dipping into funds for other things.
I will have to do the maths to work out how much I wasted away over the years.
It also tested the patience of my friends because there can be nothing worse than standing next to a guy feeding a machine like a zombie and trying to have a decent conversation.
I am off to read everyone's posts now
You sir sound exactly like me.
That story sounds very similar to my own.
Brutaly honest is best as i have learned. If you can't be anything else.. Be honest.
Gambling has cost. It has blocked. It has distracted. It has been nothing but negative.
50+ now. Been gambling since i was maybe 7-10.
I loved the "pushers" and as they were introduced i got hooked on slots.
I was a petty thief and would pinch in order to play. No excuse i know, But i was very young and very addicted.
I would do just about anything to get money to play those games.
Progressed to getting keys for machines so we knew how much they had paid and stuff like that. fishing line in the digi slots for 99 credits etc. That was my criminal Teens.
Never thieved a thing since.
Got a beautiful girl and started working. Work gave me money to play and damn sure i played hard, I was young and resiliant. I would bounce back from losses. Do overtime to fix things. But ultimately would lose all spare cash idling in an arcade paying pounds to win peanuts. I neglected the girl. Kept my gambling secret and eventualy got sacked for my love of arcades. Then the "Big Downer" I lost the girl.
I gave up B&M slots/Arcades and for a while was stable. Didnt gamble at all. I could go to the pub and not be sucked in by the lights, I would watch others lossing and getting angry and think to myself "So glad i gave that shit up" and drink my beer with the "Normal" people. Things were good, I was not gambling i was doing other things and actualy succeeding.
Then came the internet.
Windows Casino. Oh man, look at those jackpots n graphics and whats this, A bonus ! Wow.
Ide say some 100.000 pounds later that the worm seemed tastier back then than it does now. But yes i got hooked.
I played just about everywhere, I had some amazing wins. But it all stopped being exciting and fun many many years ago. Ide say things changed when Notent arrived on the scene. They set new standards and since then payouts on all providers seem to be less and less. I would hit big wins on MG quite frequently back in the day. The RTG payed well if you could find an honest casino. But since Notent and all the new providers it seems that things are much tighter. It don't make sense to me, More players and my playing more than ever before should surely bring more of those bigger wins that i used to see so regular from the older games. Not a chance these days. Spend 1000 x to get 1 feature that pays 5 x is the majority of what i see these days. Its not like it used to be !
Jazmines statement is basicly where things are heading. I have said it before in past posts. People are now paying just for the sake of play. The games are now about player interaction and graphics , Like Space Invaders with a small chance of a large win. People complained about lack of big wins, Now they complain about lack of spin time. Players are becomming happier and happier for smaller wins that give them more play time and eventualy they will be happy to spend and play with even less chance of a win. Why ? Because the games will be more imersive and the graphics will be like the non gambling games.
So what do i do. I want to stop but i cant, You know why i cant stop ? Because i like it, even though it sounds sick i still get some kind of buzz even if lossing. Addicts and buzzes. 2+2. Horse n carriage.
I'm a good person and i pay my bills, I keep my head above water so i am happy in that respect, But slots are definitely a heavy weight when trying to stay afloat in these choppy seas.
I cant see ile ever give up completely unless i bugout and go completely analogue, IE no internet. I think im "Hard wired" to play having been brought up around gambling and then living in seaside resorts.
I have hated my life many times but age has helped me reason with myself. I am what i am, I do what i do.
Harm nobody and be honest.
Cheers.
