My online slots videos (plus UK AWPs)

Yes, the brutal ass-raping I envisaged. A brave man takes one of those bastards on, let alone two!

QoR is by far the most volatile slot I have ever seen or played, I cannot think of one higher in volatility.

In answer to your query about St*rb*rt, like the second coming and aliens landing tomorrow, it's theoretically possible to get a full screen of bars but in world history hasn't ever been documented. Between your attempt on St*rb*rst and reappearance on here several years later, the same numbers came out in two consecutive weeks in the Hungarian National Lottery (approx. 14m/1 against) but alas the statistical catstrophe that would see a Netent player hit a full screen for a whopping 500x bet has failed to occur.

I really don't care for QoR at all, that's the kind of slot that could burn a player out IMO, in fact I was very much minded to just withdraw the £100 I had left in VS and call it a day, as it's so far into 'what the fuck do I do this for?' territory that it makes you question the fundamental point of playing online slots. We all know we're going to lose in the end, it's the manner of that losing that makes the difference between bothering and not bothering.

StarQuest was better, but not by much.

On balance, I'd rather have put 1550 spins through Starburst, and that's saying something.
 
I really don't care for QoR at all, that's the kind of slot that could burn a player out IMO, in fact I was very much minded to just withdraw the £100 I had left in VS and call it a day, as it's so far into 'what the fuck do I do this for?' territory that it makes you question the fundamental point of playing online slots. We all know we're going to lose in the end, it's the manner of that losing that makes the difference between bothering and not bothering.

StarQuest was better, but not by much.

On balance, I'd rather have put 1550 spins through Starburst, and that's saying something.

Just a couple of things: The money on both of these slots is NOT in the wilds like you assumed it was, it's in the Megaways. Sure it's possible to have a big win if you get the wilds with the multipliers but that's not what you should hope for.

Also, when you get a "slow spin" on a BTG slot it's not because you're going to get a 5OAK or a 4OAK, it's because that's a "bigger win" (15x or more I believe). So slow spins are good. :)

Here's my hit on QoR from a couple of weeks ago.

bZSFShT.jpg



Also, this is not mine but look at this insanity...nearly 20,000x

L8uLGqy.png
 
Cheers Balthazar interesting to know and I appreciate I perhaps got the source of the massive wins incorrect, but hits like 20,000x stake are so rare I'd probably just play a progressive, and for wins like that to exist in the maths model, RTP has to be sucked from elsewhere in the game.

Not sure it's a slot I'll ever return to TBH, its ability to play so dreadfully makes me very wary of it.
 
Cheers Balthazar interesting to know and I appreciate I perhaps got the source of the massive wins incorrect, but hits like 20,000x stake are so rare I'd probably just play a progressive, and for wins like that to exist in the maths model, RTP has to be sucked from elsewhere in the game.

Not sure it's a slot I'll ever return to TBH, its ability to play so dreadfully makes me very wary of it.
Yeah I understand. Personally I play it for ~100 spins every other session or so (usually when in profit). It's not a slot that you'd want to play for an extended period of time, it's almost like buying a lottery ticket.
 
Colour me intrigued. What would you compare them to in terms of slots from other providers that I might be familiar with? (Bearing in mind I've been out of the loop for the last four years :D )

If you want to play super high variance, try some of the Merkur games. And if you ever get to play Golden Gate by them, then you appreciate how easy it actually is to hit the bonus round on Bonanza compared to that beast.

Disclaimer: you need deep wallets and/or play very low stakes with these beast of slots.
 
I quite like high-ish variance slots but as Balthazar notes, you're almost into lottery territory with the hits QoR is capable of.

TBH I'm quite happy with slots that can hit in the 250-500x stake range with reasonable regularity, and maybe up to 1000-1500x or so once in a while. If I really wanted to try and hit 10,000x or 20,000x I'd just stick a few hundred spins through a progressive instead, the odds of hitting either are so vanishingly small you may as well make it a genuinely significant amount of cash if it happens.

Immortal Romance I didn't mind as it just had that one MEGA HIT capability of five reel Wild Desires, but it didn't feel like it was gimping the rest of the slot.

Also, QoR is bastard BORING to play. Starquest was better, but on balance I don't think I'll be returning to either.

I'm not much impressed with BTG overall, DHV is a great slot but I've not been enamoured with anything else of theirs I've played.
 
I quite like high-ish variance slots but as Balthazar notes, you're almost into lottery territory with the hits QoR is capable of.

TBH I'm quite happy with slots that can hit in the 250-500x stake range with reasonable regularity, and maybe up to 1000-1500x or so once in a while. If I really wanted to try and hit 10,000x or 20,000x I'd just stick a few hundred spins through a progressive instead, the odds of hitting either are so vanishingly small you may as well make it a genuinely significant amount of cash if it happens.

Immortal Romance I didn't mind as it just had that one MEGA HIT capability of five reel Wild Desires, but it didn't feel like it was gimping the rest of the slot.

Also, QoR is bastard BORING to play. Starquest was better, but on balance I don't think I'll be returning to either.

I'm not much impressed with BTG overall, DHV is a great slot but I've not been enamoured with anything else of theirs I've played.

I think Chopley has cracked it on the BTG slots - yes they are capable of the newsworthy big wins (purposely, to get the publicity) - but the frequency of these is much much less than similar providers like Microgaming. The RTP is eaten into with the microwins in the base game. I still stand by if you want genuine value for money you are a whole lot better off with MG/Novomatics/Merker
 
I think Chopley has cracked it on the BTG slots - yes they are capable of the newsworthy big wins (purposely, to get the publicity) - but the frequency of these is much much less than similar providers like Microgaming. The RTP is eaten into with the microwins in the base game. I still stand by if you want genuine value for money you are a whole lot better off with MG/Novomatics/Merker
To me playing MG is like driving a car from 10 years ago; it may run fine to go from A to B but you miss the latest technology. Novomatic's avg RTP is almost 2% below BTG's. Merkur is like a car from 20 years ago and as high variance as it comes.
 
I investigate the mysterious tale of ACE's 'Fair Play' hi/lo reel, a short-lived experiment in the £6 jackpot era where the hi/lo gamble reel on some ACE fruit machines chose the next number BEFORE you gambled, and then revealed what number it had chosen after you guessed higher or lower.

This meant that if you could guess correctly, every single win could be gambled out to the £3/£6 repeater.

 
I investigate the mysterious tale of ACE's 'Fair Play' hi/lo reel, a short-lived experiment in the £6 jackpot era where the hi/lo gamble reel on some ACE fruit machines chose the next number BEFORE you gambled, and then revealed what number it had chosen after you guessed higher or lower.

This meant that if you could guess correctly, every single win could be gambled out to the £3/£6 repeater.




LOL...a tautology if ever I heard one! The pseudo-random rigged hi-lo on a standard machine which dumped when 'ready' as opposed to the 'fair play' reel. There was effectively absolutely no difference. You'd get killed on an 11 with the same regularity.
 
My test in the video was what would happen if you could always pick the right number (in the emulator I modified the reel's properties so the hi/lo reel was always visible, even when it was supposed to be blacked out).

After a while it started playing really dirty, with patterns of numbers like 4 - 3 - 2 and 5 - 6 - 7 - 6 and so on, it also loved to go from a 10 to 11/12 or 3 to 2/1, stuff like that.

Apparently on the real machine a torch was a useful piece of equipment..... :D
 
Look forward to watching the video later.

Never really relied on the hi-lo gamble on these as the Ace range of machine was one of, if not THE best total emptier we ever came across.

Seriously made hundreds and hundreds from these machines, including mountains of tokens so never had to use cash in the end to empty them, plus IOU's galore from several pubs lol :oops:

Edit: NVM lol, your example is a much later ACE machine. Probs one of their releases just before they went bust.
 
Seriously made hundreds and hundreds from these machines, including mountains of tokens so never had to use cash in the end to empty them, plus IOU's galore from several pubs lol :oops:

Edit: NVM lol, your example is a much later ACE machine. Probs one of their releases just before they went bust.

I suspect you're thinking of the earlier 'lines' WATCH FOR MY HIDDEN TREASURES family of machines where the 'BAND-AID' wins were free? Unfortunately those early ROM sets are in short supply but we did manage to recover a couple, there's videos of them on the channel :)



 
A reupload from 2012 about Starburst and its alleged 500x stake jackpot - I'm reuploading this to contribute to the debate in this thread - New Slot Announcement - Archangels: Salvation by Netent



I asked Trancemonkey whether the full screen of bars HAS to be possible.....

@trancemonkey. Do all combinations of all the reel stops have to be achievable (as far as the reels the players see are concerned)?

I'm asking because it was recently brought up in another thread about how no one's ever seen a full screen of bars / bars & wilds on starburst.
That's not to say it hasn't happened, It may have, and there's just not a screenshot of it.

The reels have a stack of 3 bars on reels 1 & 5, and there's 3 sets of bars or 3 sets of wilds on reels 2,3 & 5. So from a player's point of view it 'looks' possible.
And I seem to recall seeing 2 bars/3xwilds/3 bars. But that's the nearest
But if the reel positions are generated from virtual reels. It may not actually be possible.

His reply....

Different jurisdictions have different rules for what must be possible... for example, in Nevada and most jurisdictions, every results must be possible... that doesn't mean to say they have to have a very high chance of happening, but there must be a chance. In Nevada (and most reasonable land-based jurisdictions), if we had a game where BARS could appear stacked on all five reels during game play, then they MUST be able to land stacked in view on all 5 reels at the same time.

That said, online doesn't currently have those regulations to my knowledge..

So it may be a 'legal' impossibility to get a full screen of bars.

And possibly the same could be said of Bonanza. Just because the reels show multiple diamonds on every reel. It may not be possible for maximum number per reel to ALL appear at the same time, especially during the bonus round.

That doesn't mean they can't. Just that he's unaware of regulations which say they 'Have To'
 
Thanks brianmon, interesting stuff!

However, in the case of Starburst, it does explicitly state in one of the messages that pop up while you're playing, 'win up to 50000 coins', which is 500x stake.

So why has no one ever seen it? :confused: Think about stuff like the five Wild Desires on Immortal Romance, super, super rare hit, yet we've seen numerous screenshots of it over the years. But we've never seen a full screen of BARS on Starburst.....

upload_2018-5-20_16-58-18.webp
 
Thanks brianmon, interesting stuff!

However, in the case of Starburst, it does explicitly state in one of the messages that pop up while you're playing, 'win up to 50000 coins', which is 500x stake.

So why has no one ever seen it? :confused: Think about stuff like the five Wild Desires on Immortal Romance, super, super rare hit, yet we've seen numerous screenshots of it over the years. But we've never seen a full screen of BARS on Starburst.....

View attachment 91293

Is there one of the 5 wild desire in the forum - only seen two on You Tube - one at 30p and one at 90p.
 
Couple of new videos. GAMBLING LOW EBBS PART #1 and a review of AFTERLIFE INFERNO.

PLEASE NOTE - The Gambling Low Ebbs video is not a happy story at all, and gets very sweary at one point.



 
A re-upload from March 2014, I believe this is one of dunover's favourites....

THE 3DICE MEGA CHALLENGE.

It's a shame it's such a ballache to play at 3Dice now (I can't actually see any real way of doing it from the UK), as they were a bloody good casino to play at and I really liked their slots. (Well, some of them.....)

WARNING - Features annoyance and lots of swearing when Scatterville Skunks and Slotnomicron do a piece of work on me.

 
A re-upload from March 2014, I believe this is one of dunover's favourites....

THE 3DICE MEGA CHALLENGE.

It's a shame it's such a ballache to play at 3Dice now (I can't actually see any real way of doing it from the UK), as they were a bloody good casino to play at and I really liked their slots. (Well, some of them.....)

WARNING - Features annoyance and lots of swearing when Scatterville Skunks and Slotnomicron do a piece of work on me.




Ah, this classic is back! My all-time Chopley favourite with the immortal line "THAT'S ALL I FUCKING NEED AFTER SCATTERVILLE bloody Skunks has bent me over and fired one up my arse!!"

This was actually the video that inspired me to start a YT channel, and which unfortunately began my descent into unrestrained profanity and vulgarity ….:D
 
A re-upload from March 2014, I believe this is one of dunover's favourites....

THE 3DICE MEGA CHALLENGE.

It's a shame it's such a ballache to play at 3Dice now (I can't actually see any real way of doing it from the UK), as they were a bloody good casino to play at and I really liked their slots. (Well, some of them.....)

WARNING - Features annoyance and lots of swearing when Scatterville Skunks and Slotnomicron do a piece of work on me.




The hysterical bit starts at 1:09:00 :D
 
Jackpot Party Life of Luxury Full Session - 2012 REUPLOAD

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A reupload from a session and video dating back to June 2012. At the time the LIFE OF LUXURY slots were a new addition to the casino's line-up, promising untold riches via progressive jackpots that could reach the lofty heights of.... a grand or two.

Apologies for the overly loud trance track. I put trance on everything back then. Don't worry about the webcam that's often in shot, I didn't do anything Leslie Grantham-esque with it.

------------------

 
Jackpot Party Life of Luxury Full Session - 2012 REUPLOAD

------------------

A reupload from a session and video dating back to June 2012. At the time the LIFE OF LUXURY slots were a new addition to the casino's line-up, promising untold riches via progressive jackpots that could reach the lofty heights of.... a grand or two.

Apologies for the overly loud trance track. I put trance on everything back then. Don't worry about the webcam that's often in shot, I didn't do anything Leslie Grantham-esque with it.

------------------




LOL I remember trying to watch it before, as you said the endless heartbeat-paced DOOF-DOOF-DOOF made it unwatchable, because I like your commentaries I couldn't mute it lol...
 
It's actually not over the whole thing, if you can make it past the first few minutes :D

I do like trance, I have a 128GB USB key in the car that has nothing but trance on it, it takes several months for me to get through the whole lot, at which point I just let it loop round to the start again.
 
IGT & NetEnt Big Slots Session - 2014 Reupload

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A reupload from March 2014, when I got a £150 no-deposit bonus at the Mr Green casino to review and feedback on IGT slots (which I believe were performing poorly for the casino). They were so dreadful that I gave up on them and switched to NetEnt slots once I'd fulfilled the reviewing and feedback duties.

Quite a long video but covers many slots from both providers. (Including the original versions of several NetEnt slots before they got HTML5 'upgrades'......)

The £150 bonus came with a £3750 wagering requirement.

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IGT & NetEnt Big Slots Session - 2014 Reupload

--------

A reupload from March 2014, when I got a £150 no-deposit bonus at the Mr Green casino to review and feedback on IGT slots (which I believe were performing poorly for the casino). They were so dreadful that I gave up on them and switched to NetEnt slots once I'd fulfilled the reviewing and feedback duties.

Quite a long video but covers many slots from both providers. (Including the original versions of several NetEnt slots before they got HTML5 'upgrades'......)

The £150 bonus came with a £3750 wagering requirement.

--------




They're bloody squirrels.
 
Donuts + Bonanza: Dual-slot BTG Armageddon

-------------------

BTG (purveyors of Bonanza) have released a new slot called Donuts. Crowds go wild, celebrations in the street, etc.

I played it for over three hours. And I also played Bonanza for over three hours at the same time.

I wish I hadn't.

-------------------

 
Donuts + Bonanza: Dual-slot BTG Armageddon

-------------------

BTG (purveyors of Bonanza) have released a new slot called Donuts. Crowds go wild, celebrations in the street, etc.

I played it for over three hours. And I also played Bonanza for over three hours at the same time.

I wish I hadn't.

-------------------



looking forward to watching this tonight :thumbsup:
 
Donuts + Bonanza: Dual-slot BTG Armageddon

-------------------

BTG (purveyors of Bonanza) have released a new slot called Donuts. Crowds go wild, celebrations in the street, etc.

I played it for over three hours. And I also played Bonanza for over three hours at the same time.

I wish I hadn't.

-------------------


I have to laugh at your conclusion that 'modern slots are a waste of money, and a waste of fucking time as well!'. A slightly different conclusion was reached on the last videos that you won on lol....

As a dedicated HV player it's clear what you look for in a slot is not to be found in the slots you have chosen lately. Donuts is about 1/400 for the bonus so you did OK for frequency. Bonanza you had a very decent base game on and remember you got a near-800x bonus last time out.

I just don't think you're the type of player or person for the HV games, more of a medium-V character.

I made over 12k from Bonanza last month (admittedly 1.5k down since on it) and whereas the bad runs can and do go on to the extent they can crush you, similarly when on the 'up curve' you can win on several consecutive sessions and the features are dropping every 100-200 spins for a sustained period.

Bonanza is a slot where if you're depositing 200 quid you should work the maths - set up for say 100 spins at 2 quid or 50 at 4 quid and with the base game turnover at 70%+ you should see 400/200 spins at least respectively for those stakes. The feature average is 460/1 so you'd have a better than 50% chance of triggering it and then hit a good one and it's happy Chopley.

The video was exactly what I expected when a careful low-risk player like yourself takes on those type of games.
 
I have to laugh at your conclusion that 'modern slots are a waste of money, and a waste of fucking time as well!'. A slightly different conclusion was reached on the last videos that you won on lol....

As a dedicated HV player it's clear what you look for in a slot is not to be found in the slots you have chosen lately. Donuts is about 1/400 for the bonus so you did OK for frequency. Bonanza you had a very decent base game on and remember you got a near-800x bonus last time out.

I just don't think you're the type of player or person for the HV games, more of a medium-V character.

I made over 12k from Bonanza last month (admittedly 1.5k down since on it) and whereas the bad runs can and do go on to the extent they can crush you, similarly when on the 'up curve' you can win on several consecutive sessions and the features are dropping every 100-200 spins for a sustained period.

Bonanza is a slot where if you're depositing 200 quid you should work the maths - set up for say 100 spins at 2 quid or 50 at 4 quid and with the base game turnover at 70%+ you should see 400/200 spins at least respectively for those stakes. The feature average is 460/1 so you'd have a better than 50% chance of triggering it and then hit a good one and it's happy Chopley.

The video was exactly what I expected when a careful low-risk player like yourself takes on those type of games.
Gets a like simply due to your reverting back to 'maths', and ditching 'math' :D

Now.....where'd I put my sneakers :eek::eek2:
 
I have to laugh at your conclusion that 'modern slots are a waste of money, and a waste of fucking time as well!'. A slightly different conclusion was reached on the last videos that you won on lol....

But I've been consistently critical of Bonanza, even on the session where it chucked 818x stake at me I explicitly stated in the video that 'my opinion of this slot has not changed'.

As a dedicated HV player it's clear what you look for in a slot is not to be found in the slots you have chosen lately. Donuts is about 1/400 for the bonus so you did OK for frequency. Bonanza you had a very decent base game on and remember you got a near-800x bonus last time out.

Donuts did 1/630 for that session, you're actually calling that as 'OK' bonus round frequency? (And that's from the nonsensical starting point of 1/400, so 1/630 is only even vaguely 'OK' if we normalise 1/400 as a starting point.)

Bonanza was 6% behind RTP and did one bonus round in 1695 spins, and I'm supposed to be thankful for a 'very decent base game'? (Which still fell far short of RTP.)

Also, I thought we'd established that Bonanza isn't actually HV? Since so much of the RTP is grindy base game return?

I just don't think you're the type of player or person for the HV games, more of a medium-V character.

And yet I've played and enjoyed many slots that were considered higher variance in years gone by.

I made over 12k from Bonanza last month (admittedly 1.5k down since on it) and whereas the bad runs can and do go on to the extent they can crush you, similarly when on the 'up curve' you can win on several consecutive sessions and the features are dropping every 100-200 spins for a sustained period.

Well, yes, random numbers will do that sometimes. But ultimately, you're still setting fire to 4% of your money with every press of the 'SPIN' button.

Bonanza is a slot where if you're depositing 200 quid you should work the maths - set up for say 100 spins at 2 quid or 50 at 4 quid and with the base game turnover at 70%+ you should see 400/200 spins at least respectively for those stakes. The feature average is 460/1 so you'd have a better than 50% chance of triggering it and then hit a good one and it's happy Chopley.

You're seriously suggesting I play at £2 or £4 per spin on a £200 deposit? I want an evening's entertainment for £200, with a decent chance of having something left in my bankroll at the end of the evening, or turning a profit. A 50% chance of getting a feature for £200? Wow, where do I sign?

That kind of kamikaze approach could see the whole thing busted out in about 10 minutes.

My PS4 Pro with God Of War cost £350, and I've had about 30 hours of quality entertainment out of that one game already. (And I'm not even halfway through it.)

The video was exactly what I expected when a careful low-risk player like yourself takes on those type of games.

I like a bit of a flutter as much as anyone, but if we're at the stage where £200 down on two slots at 20p spins in three hours, with just five bonus rounds to show for it (which would have had a dreadful average pay if not for the 220x round on Donuts) is considered 'OK', then something has gone wrong with online slots IMO.

Add in the fact that decent bonuses are almost impossible to find these days (even just EV neutral bonuses), and we're left with the stark reality of random games with a generous house edge, slowly mugging us of 4% of our funds every time we dare to interact with them.

I think I'll go back to my PS4 Pro :)
 
But I've been consistently critical of Bonanza, even on the session where it chucked 818x stake at me I explicitly stated in the video that 'my opinion of this slot has not changed'.********
Donuts did 1/630 for that session, you're actually calling that as 'OK' bonus round frequency? (And that's from the nonsensical starting point of 1/400, so 1/630 is only even vaguely 'OK' if we normalise 1/400 as a starting point.)*********
Bonanza was 6% behind RTP and did one bonus round in 1695 spins, and I'm supposed to be thankful for a 'very decent base game'? (Which still fell far short of RTP.)**********Also, I thought we'd established that Bonanza isn't actually HV? Since so much of the RTP is grindy base game return?
******You're seriously suggesting I play at £2 or £4 per spin on a £200 deposit? I want an evening's entertainment for £200, with a decent chance of having something left in my bankroll at the end of the evening, or turning a profit. A 50% chance of getting a feature for £200? Wow, where do I sign?

:)

Sorry, had to reduce the post a bit with stars to expedite a reply!

Yes, you consistently have disdain for Bonanza, not disputing it.

1/630 is actually reasonable for those two games for BF (bonus frequency) it's not a huge deviation from the average when you yourself pointed out you can see a few thousand spins with no feature!

Bonanza was 6% behind which was very good considering you only had 1 crap feature, but again you are well over 100% overall on it!

Bonanza is very HV overall but not so much in the base game, the HV comes in the feature. This is very similar to Dead Or Alive with a very volatile bonus but quite often a base game that pays for a large turnover. Variance is classed by the range/extremes of wins. ANY slot which can award over 10,000x in the bonus will be HV by definition regardless of the base game, which can be set up in different maths models via the parse sheets/symbol pays. So Bonanza and DoA are quite alike, but take Novo's Book Of Ra for example which has a mere 50-55% base game return, a decent average feature return but a far higher BF.

With that in mind you'll see why I suggest a quick smash'n grab on higher bets. You can win 500-2000x in the Bonanza base game, and the turnover means it's not an unreasonable punt to go for a feature on higher stakes. Yes, your back passage will likely be brutally punished but it can often go for you, and when it does you've made some serious cash-outs!

And Playstations are for teenagers.
 
Just a touch of petrol for the fire.

Anything over say *0.80 - £1 (and that's pushing it) stake on a £200 deposit is simply asking for an early night and a foul mood!

*Not applicable to affiliate RTP

Please save inane, illogical, paranoid, foil-hatting and ridiculous comments like that for my YT channel, where you'll be in good company.:laugh:
 
What I really need to know here, and is worthy of consideration, is:

How much better is the PS4 Pro compared to a regular PS4????

I'll be doing a PS4 Pro video for the channel in the near future. I have even made a substantial infrastructure investment in the form of a tripod for my camcorder so I can sit on the couch and talk shit whilst videoing PS4 gameplay on the big telly. So it'll still be me talking shit, but with a gloriously steady picture.
 
I'll be doing a PS4 Pro video for the channel in the near future. I have even made a substantial infrastructure investment in the form of a tripod for my camcorder so I can sit on the couch and talk shit whilst videoing PS4 gameplay on the big telly. So it'll still be me talking shit, but with a gloriously steady picture.
Me watching- confirmed :laugh:

Not ashamed to admit my envy, possessing merely an XBox One.

Hell, this harps back to the early computer days, with the classic "No way is the C64 better than the Spectrum" :eek2:
 

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