- Joined
- Dec 16, 2004
- Location
- Palm Bay Florida
Marriage is like a deck of cards...................
In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end.............
you'll wish you had a club and a spade.
Here is something I found
Life with men is like a deck of cards
You need a heart to love them,
a diamond to marry them,
a club to beat them,
and a spade to bury them.
WHY AM I MARRIED?.......OR NOT MARRIED???
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and
wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing: "You can have mine"
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love
and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods Because,
Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When
the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a
while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the
stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and
says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end
of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the
end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the
heck up."
In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end.............
you'll wish you had a club and a spade.
Here is something I found
Life with men is like a deck of cards
You need a heart to love them,
a diamond to marry them,
a club to beat them,
and a spade to bury them.
WHY AM I MARRIED?.......OR NOT MARRIED???
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and
wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing: "You can have mine"
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love
and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods Because,
Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When
the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a
while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the
stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and
says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end
of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the
end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the
heck up."
