Is adult cyber bullying just as bad ?

[rena35]

I have teen girls and i have often told them to just ignore online bullying and even limited their time on social media. I have increased out door time and even bought seeds so that we can plant together this spring. I was told by a friend to join a forum where you earn by posting. I do not spam the forum but there are a few people who have taken to attacking me without just cause and it does not feel so good. I know that it is a contest type of thing that goes by posts and between my busy day routine i try to get some posting done. The more you post the higher on the winners list you are. I just do not have the time to be there posting all day. I try to ignore it but to be honest for the life of me as adults i do not know what is garnered by doing this to other people. I like being able to earn gaming money without depleting my pay check doing it. Would you respond to the tactics to get you to leave or would you ignore it ? I would have told my teens to ignore it but then again i have never been in that boat before so it would be easy to give that advice.

 

[The Dude]

A well moderated board should decrease the "bully" type behavior - what I mean by well moderated is I mean fair. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish bullying from someone challenged with the language who posts stuff that the person thought was not aggressive. When I am dealing with a serious subject - I try to make sure people don't get me wrong or think I'm being aggressive by using lots of .

But yeah, the Internet is full of people who do it deliberately. Those persons would be reported and hopefully the moderator can throw some water on the fire.

If it's not well moderated, then I would just ignore those posts. Bullies and trolls hate it when they get ignored. Don't get into a hissy fit with them because that is what they want - that empowers them.

 

[rena35]

@casinomiester Thank you for your input. At first i feed into it. I think because of the structure of the contest since i started posting the pie has to be shared and some do not like that. I tried to explain we were all there for the same reason and that i teach my kids not to bully like my parents taught me. It did not work. I did try to tell admin but i have not seen them around but to pay the contest. I would think it was just me overacting but from what i can gather it has and is happening to others in an attempt to run people off. It has succeeded in the past. I will keep pushing forward and ignore the attempts. It is hard and unusual to have to deal with but hey with life sometimes you have to keep moving .

 

[greylady]

I always see bully's as people who are insignificant in their own lives, people who are always attention seeking and probably don't have much to do in their own lives and are probably not overly popular so they come online anonymously and pick on others in an attempt to bring them down to their level - you can't help but feel sorry for them, ignore them and you take away their 'power'.

 

[xexe]

Seeing the word "cyber bullying" always reminds me of this tweet by Tyler the Creator:

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And this one:

But yeah just ignore them. Responding to them just feeds them fuel to keep going. Or literally block them if the option exists.

 

[rena35]

Seriously cyber bullying is a very real thing and has lead to teens committing suicide over it. It should be as easy as closing your eyes and hoping it goes away but TBH it is not always that easy. For the family's that lost loved ones i know it was not . Not all people are created equally and for some they can and do ignore it but for others trying to understand the underlying cause is what they do. I think @greylady hit the nail on the head.

 

[irish-ranger]

They are only pixels ignore the idiots and move on you will find those hiding behind a key board are probably suffering from low self esteem.
Caused by the shite going on in their own lives and they feel the need to act like complete and utter pricks on line because it's an easy platform for them.
Yet if the truth be told 99.9% of them are just spineless oxygen thefts and wouldn't say Boo to a Goose in a real life environment.

 

[greylady]

I have been there rena, though I have to admit it had no effect on me whatsoever.

I thanked them for their opinion, stayed calm and polite, did not raise to the bait and they ran out of steam - don't retaliate, it does add fuel to the fire. It was water of a ducks back to me, their opinion meant nothing, they were keyboard cowards.

I hope it improves for you

 

[slotmaster]

GET THEM OFFLINE NOW! It is really really really bad everywhere, Do not let them on social media, forums etc etc. I am pleased to see that Irish ranger changed his/her ways and listened to me though. I am pretty much off the internet as it's bs and stupidity and just this week I had 3-4 wackos (ALL SUPPOSED FEMALES) lose it on me after being nice and respectful and helping them out. I really don't know what has happened to this Earth and people these days, Nobody knows how to communicate, show respect for each other or anything thanks to stupid cellphones and stupid social media.

 

[xexe]

Seriously cyber bullying is a very real thing and has lead to teens committing suicide over it. It should be as easy as closing your eyes and hoping it goes away but TBH it is not always that easy. For the family's that lost loved ones i know it was not . Not all people are created equally and for some they can and do ignore it but for others trying to understand the underlying cause is what they do. I think @greylady hit the nail on the head.

I know it's real, my apologies if my link was tasteless. It's just what comes to my mind because of how that tweet blew up at the time.

 

[steveh35]

I am not sure how I would have coped if there had been social media or mobiles during my school time I am so glad they only got a computer room the year after I left, it was bad enough without people being able to contact you wherever you were out of school.

 

[TheAddict]

I'd say best thing is to just not even read it, since its tempting to turn into the incredible hulk to some responses since you know you can prove them wrong, but they will ignore your points and take bits of anything you say out of context and use it to try and annoy you.and as mentioned thats what they want, they get a giggle out of a reaction, and hope for a response so they can justify wasting time between each masturbation session.

if its a paragraph, which they've obviously taken time to write. if it was me, I'd just not read it, then tell them you didn't read it. it will piss them off to some extent,-though they wont admit it. and what you didn't read can't piss you off, often you might find yourself smiling because you can imagine his or her frustration of trying to be smart at trolling and taking time to write out a paragraph. so its a technical win in a battle you didnt start or participate in, despite seen by some as a somewhat immature reaction. the more they respond you can just say, "didnt read that either btw" .
you've got to be insanely bored to persist at doing something for attention, which doesn't get any attention.

just what I'd do of course, since they say I'm pretty laid back and don't take anything too seriously. often engage if im bored out of my mind,which i know is futile but sometines some people just need putting in their place

obviously young girls can react emotionally though, with some having taken their life for somethng as stupid as being told they are ugly by a group of idiots trolling them on a daily basis via youtube or something (a recent teenager that comes to mind, really wasn't ugly at all, but couldn't cope with being told that she was all the time by idiots watching her, and unfortunately took her own life on cam) and if they do respond emotionally, the attacker will persist forever more once sensing the break through.

 

[slotplayer]

Back in the early 1980's I had a work mate I became friends with, super smart guy, said two things to me in response to similar circumstances that I remember and apply occasionally today.

"no action and no reaction"
"the easiest way for a person to get attention is to start an argument"

 

[DreamRJ]

I will give my view on this as well. I have been subject to it on this forum as well. I thank @rena35 for making this thread and bringing this into conversation. If this was me who made this type of thread I would have been attacked like anything.

Pretty much most of my posts gets attacked on this forum and on another forum I used to be a member of which I do not use anymore. But let me say this, I am also a member of many forums, and I do not get attacked or bullied on those other forums. Those are non gambling forums though. One is an e cig forum, another is a forum for general chit chat about movies, tv shows, politics, and general advice topics, also sport and many more topics.

But my point is, I think a lot of people can see who the bullies are on CM and their seems to be a culture of it. It also appears that they get away with it. The people I have on my ignore list, always back eachother up, which is exactly what the bullies do, they like the posts that they say which are attacking someone then they attack them and pick parts of a users post out to belittle them. @Casinomeister - So is this type of behaviour allowed? I have reported soo many posts for bullying and attacking and yet they get away with it? I have also got some of those users on ignore list as well?

What is more is, those bullies have not even been on this thread? I wonder why, they have also not liked any of the posts in this thread? I wonder why again?

So no doubt this post will get attacked, but yet others who posted above in this will not? let me see?

 

[paul7388]

Seriously i was going to keep out of this debate but frankly i will speak my mind and don't give a damn whether i get banned or not.

I knew as soon as this thread started the resident drama queen would use it as yet another reason to turn it into a poor them thread.

I am one of the ones you ignored and no way have i ever bullied you so it really pissed me of that you are implying i have.

Many members have quoted you trying to explain that it is the way you post and your constant demanding answers right away like a spoilt little child. You treat the Rep's like they are at your beck and call and go in a tantrum if they don't respond right away. Bryan even posted yesterday that Rep's are not here to jump as soon as certain members click their fingers.

Seriously Dream you are paranoid and have a huge chip on your shoulder. Pity i am on your ignore list as you ought to read this. Every day it is whinge whinge whinge and demand. And no i am not bullying you here and neither are the rest of the members that try and advise you.

In your world anyone that posts something you do not like you accuse of bullying. You then make a big deal about other posts getting more likes than yours even tho yours are better.

I have tried to be nice to you and tried to help you understand why people quote you more. Reason is only because you constantly demand answers and come across the wrong way. Noone else gets quoted as often as most people if they ask a Rep a question have patience. They don't spit the dummy and tag the Rep five minutes later because they have read the post and not responded right away.

You harass and Bully the Rep's and have the damned cheek to accuse people that try and help you out of being bullies.

This was a serious thread for the poster but yet again you had to make yourself the centre of attention. Really bugs me that. Maybe someone will quote this so you can read it.

Anyway sorry if this post offends any member and i have tagged @Casinomeister so he can read my post and ban me if that is what he deems fair as i just had to post this.

Enjoy your weekend all

 

[goatwack]

Can someone tell me what above says? Paul's on my Ignore list

 

[paul7388]

Can someone tell me what above says? Paul's on my Ignore list

So i can go and tell you where you can go can i

Anyway Goatie i am sure i am on several peoples list and no doubt will be on more soon enough if i am still here.

 

[Tirilej]

Seriously i was going to keep out of this debate but frankly i will speak my mind and don't give a damn whether i get banned or not.

I knew as soon as this thread started the resident drama queen would use it as yet another reason to turn it into a poor them thread.

I am one of the ones you ignored and no way have i ever bullied you so it really pissed me of that you are implying i have.

Many members have quoted you trying to explain that it is the way you post and your constant demanding answers right away like a spoilt little child. You treat the Rep's like they are at your beck and call and go in a tantrum if they don't respond right away. Bryan even posted yesterday that Rep's are not here to jump as soon as certain members click their fingers.

Seriously Dream you are paranoid and have a huge chip on your shoulder. Pity i am on your ignore list as you ought to read this. Every day it is whinge whinge whinge and demand. And no i am not bullying you here and neither are the rest of the members that try and advise you.

In your world anyone that posts something you do not like you accuse of bullying. You then make a big deal about other posts getting more likes than yours even tho yours are better.

I have tried to be nice to you and tried to help you understand why people quote you more. Reason is only because you constantly demand answers and come across the wrong way. Noone else gets quoted as often as most people if they ask a Rep a question have patience. They don't spit the dummy and tag the Rep five minutes later because they have read the post and not responded right away.

You harass and Bully the Rep's and have the damned cheek to accuse people that try and help you out of being bullies.

This was a serious thread for the poster but yet again you had to make yourself the centre of attention. Really bugs me that. Maybe someone will quote this so you can read it.

Anyway sorry if this post offends any member and i have tagged @Casinomeister so he can read my post and ban me if that is what he deems fair as i just had to post this.

Enjoy your weekend all

I don't think he will be able to read what you wrote even if I quote you since I have realized I'm also on the ignore list, but I can try.
At least Bryan then will know who he think is the ones who are bullying him.

 

[homerbert]

To be completely honest, I can't get it.

How the hell someone you do not know, and someone do not know YOU can do any damage to you via any post. Ha, you can try. From 17 years old I was playing video games online, I was poker player, and to be honest I have no problems. Ever. Haters gonna hate, people gonna post their posts. Just relax and go away, it's not that hard when you trained enough and understand it.

 

[paul7388]

I don't think he will be able to read what you wrote even if I quote you since I have realized I'm also on the ignore list, but I can try.
At least Bryan then will know who he think is the ones who are bullying him.

Thank's Tirilej. I am just so pissed off its unreal. We have a member that always has to be centre of attention and harasses Rep's like they are shit. Then because people try help him out he is calling them all bullies and saying Bryan is aware of the bullying and condoning everyone for bullying him when he is not even being bullied.

And on a serious thread where someone has genuine concerns over bullying. So i am really sorry Rena for derailing your thread. I will make sure i stay out of this thread now.

And Rena sorry to hear of your problems. Hope it gets easier. I would tell you just to ignore it but i know it is not easy. Just remember by not letting them get to you and not arguing back you are showing you are the better person.

 

[goatwack]

Of far greater concern is how actual trolls can circumvent the site about 10 times with different usernames and go around harassing female members via PM, calling them c***s and whatever else.

It's been mentioned several times of course to the powers that be, but we can all count together until they resurface to resume their antics.

So let's deal with that problem too because it's making the site lose its integrity (apart from my posts etc etc)

 

[Gaz237]

I don't think he will be able to read what you wrote even if I quote you since I have realized I'm also on the ignore list, but I can try.
At least Bryan then will know who he think is the ones who are bullying him.

I'm on the ignore list as well, for daring to pull DreamRJ up on the disgraceful way he treats the reps (more so the VS reps).

It's tantamount to bullying itself, the way he places demands on the reps.

The bloke has no self awareness, but plenty of believed self entitlement.

Bryan himself said about people should not treat/expect the reps to be at their beck and call. As usual DreamRJ is oblivious that he is the biggest culprit, by far.

 

[TheAddict]

To be completely honest, I can't get it.

How the hell someone you do not know, and someone do not know YOU can do any damage to you via any post. Ha, you can try. From 17 years old I was playing video games online, I was poker player, and to be honest I have no problems. Ever. Haters gonna hate, people gonna post their posts. Just relax and go away, it's not that hard when you trained enough and understand it.

comes with the territory bro. 10 years of ut'99 and 10 years of poker = every insult known to man has been thrown at you within just 1 month of each lol. it reminded me of exactly that too tbh, video games and poker online that regularly turns to pure royal rumbles via nasty text, to the point nothing gets to you anymore .
unfortunately (or fortunately probably, lol)not everyone goes through years of this in order to become immune to it. and i guess in that situation ,if theyre being attacked on something theyre already insecure or unnecessarily embarrassed over, its going to make them feel so much worse.

 

[bebo67]

Funny how such a serious post can be derailed into a "blame game".
FYI. My laughter is one of disgust.
Irony...........

 

[Glassheart]

I will give my view on this as well. I have been subject to it on this forum as well. I thank @rena35 for making this thread and bringing this into conversation. If this was me who made this type of thread I would have been attacked like anything.

Pretty much most of my posts gets attacked on this forum and on another forum I used to be a member of which I do not use anymore. But let me say this, I am also a member of many forums, and I do not get attacked or bullied on those other forums. Those are non gambling forums though. One is an e cig forum, another is a forum for general chit chat about movies, tv shows, politics, and general advice topics, also sport and many more topics.

But my point is, I think a lot of people can see who the bullies are on CM and their seems to be a culture of it. It also appears that they get away with it. The people I have on my ignore list, always back eachother up, which is exactly what the bullies do, they like the posts that they say which are attacking someone then they attack them and pick parts of a users post out to belittle them. @Casinomeister - So is this type of behaviour allowed? I have reported soo many posts for bullying and attacking and yet they get away with it? I have also got some of those users on ignore list as well?

What is more is, those bullies have not even been on this thread? I wonder why, they have also not liked any of the posts in this thread? I wonder why again?

So no doubt this post will get attacked, but yet others who posted above in this will not? let me see?

I hate bullies but i dont think i have seen anyone bully you on here just reactions to your self entitlement. If anything the way you speak to reps especially the VS reps comes across more as bullying. Pot kettle and all that.

 

[bebo67]

Cyber bullying is real, and can come in different forms, from passive aggressive, to right down nasty. The bullies will blame others or the person they are bullying. Abuse! And I see it in this thread too. The age old adage comes into play. If you have nothing nice to say.say nothing at all. If someone is bullying you, rude to you, on your ass all the time. Stay away from the site, report them or block them. Arm chair, keyboard warriors are nothing but cowards with big mouths.

 

[lockinlove]

To be completely honest, I can't get it.

How the hell someone you do not know, and someone do not know YOU can do any damage to you via any post. Ha, you can try. From 17 years old I was playing video games online, I was poker player, and to be honest I have no problems. Ever. Haters gonna hate, people gonna post their posts. Just relax and go away, it's not that hard when you trained enough and understand it.

Most people that incur online bullying have confidence issues in real life too. You will find most have suffered bullying at school or their social life and then it spills onto the online world too.

An example of this would be someone gets bullied in school becomes reclusive and turns to the online scene and because they may be different than 'normal' their personality traits come out there too and people pile on.

It's very rare a person has a good offline social life but suffers a bad online one where they allow it to affect them. I have seen hundreds of thousands of depression and suicidal cases at my work due to bullying and usually they go hand in hand where both scenarios are suffering.

I think the media is to blame for giving people an image that nobodies words matter. Look at most news media these days headlines "twitter responds" "social media claps back". Since when is random nobodies suddenly a viable, credible news source? Those people tweeting could be in a mental institute, a violent criminal, a sex offender...who knows.

 

[dunover]

I will give my view on this as well. I have been subject to it on this forum as well. I thank @rena35 for making this thread and bringing this into conversation. If this was me who made this type of thread I would have been attacked like anything.

Pretty much most of my posts gets attacked on this forum and on another forum I used to be a member of which I do not use anymore. But let me say this, I am also a member of many forums, and I do not get attacked or bullied on those other forums. Those are non gambling forums though. One is an e cig forum, another is a forum for general chit chat about movies, tv shows, politics, and general advice topics, also sport and many more topics.

But my point is, I think a lot of people can see who the bullies are on CM and their seems to be a culture of it. It also appears that they get away with it. The people I have on my ignore list, always back eachother up, which is exactly what the bullies do, they like the posts that they say which are attacking someone then they attack them and pick parts of a users post out to belittle them. @Casinomeister - So is this type of behaviour allowed? I have reported soo many posts for bullying and attacking and yet they get away with it? I have also got some of those users on ignore list as well?

What is more is, those bullies have not even been on this thread? I wonder why, they have also not liked any of the posts in this thread? I wonder why again?

So no doubt this post will get attacked, but yet others who posted above in this will not? let me see?

You cannot read things in to the fact people haven't contributed to, or read any particular thread. It's almost damned if they do, damned if they don't.

Disagreement isn't necessarily 'bullying' nor is being on a different side of any discussion.

Some perspective is needed on occasion - 99% of those posting on here you'll never meet, see and know other than behind a moniker and a keyboard.

If collectively the admin were opined that certain members were regularly treading too near the line, there would be action taken or they would be messaged about it.

It's hard to define without a great deal of context what defines 'bullying' but we would know it if we saw it. Cry wolf too often and you will eventually get ignored, fail to say anything until too late and it can go too far.

 

[rena35]

Even though i can not play at most of the casino's here i have never experienced any bullying online what so ever. I enjoy reading the posts and the banter back and forth between members. I am also a member of a few forums but never have i experienced anything like what i said in my opening post. I think it is to do with the money that is earned and running me off is just an opportunity to split what my future earnings would have been. I must say it does feel good to be able to earn an extra buck but the thing is i am not used to it at all. If anyone reads my few previous posts here or on my other forum i try hard to post positive things and rarely ever attack anyone unless i am attacked first. That was in the past. Now i enjoy a few hours online then rest. I appreciate everyone's feed back and i am sorry if my post seemed to call out some emotions here. It was not my intent. My only intent was to get some feed back to see if it is worth keep trying to be somewhere that is kind of stressful when in every day life i try hard to not let things bother me. Yes it is the internet and some people will say harsh things to others behind a screen but to me it should not be like that. I also wish i could continue to have rose colored glasses on and view the good in people. My choices are to go or stay and i chose to stay. I will not be ran off by people who have nothing better top do but make new members feel unwelcome over a buck.

 

[bebo67]

Even though i can not play at most of the casino's here i have never experienced any bullying online what so ever. I enjoy reading the posts and the banter back and forth between members. I am also a member of a few forums but never have i experienced anything like what i said in my opening post. I think it is to do with the money that is earned and running me off is just an opportunity to split what my future earnings would have been. I must say it does feel good to be able to earn an extra buck but the thing is i am not used to it at all. If anyone reads my few previous posts here or on my other forum i try hard to post positive things and rarely ever attack anyone unless i am attacked first. That was in the past. Now i enjoy a few hours online then rest. I appreciate everyone's feed back and i am sorry if my post seemed to call out some emotions here. It was not my intent. My only intent was to get some feed back to see if it is worth keep trying to be somewhere that is kind of stressful when in every day life i try hard to not let things bother me. Yes it is the internet and some people will say harsh things to others behind a screen but to me it should not be like that. I also wish i could continue to have rose colored glasses on and view the good in people. My choices are to go or stay and i chose to stay. I will not be ran off by people who have nothing better top do but make new members feel unwelcome over a buck.

Amen!

 

[Tirilej]

Even though i can not play at most of the casino's here i have never experienced any bullying online what so ever. I enjoy reading the posts and the banter back and forth between members. I am also a member of a few forums but never have i experienced anything like what i said in my opening post. I think it is to do with the money that is earned and running me off is just an opportunity to split what my future earnings would have been. I must say it does feel good to be able to earn an extra buck but the thing is i am not used to it at all. If anyone reads my few previous posts here or on my other forum i try hard to post positive things and rarely ever attack anyone unless i am attacked first. That was in the past. Now i enjoy a few hours online then rest. I appreciate everyone's feed back and i am sorry if my post seemed to call out some emotions here. It was not my intent. My only intent was to get some feed back to see if it is worth keep trying to be somewhere that is kind of stressful when in every day life i try hard to not let things bother me. Yes it is the internet and some people will say harsh things to others behind a screen but to me it should not be like that. I also wish i could continue to have rose colored glasses on and view the good in people. My choices are to go or stay and i chose to stay. I will not be ran off by people who have nothing better top do but make new members feel unwelcome over a buck.

I've been reading your posts for almost 11 years now, starting in LCB and later here. It's a long time

You've never been rude or said anything to hurt anyone else ever. Always polite and nice. Whatever you decide to do then remember that their behaviour have nothing to do with what you've said or not said.
It's good that things like this comes up. We all need to think about how we behave both for real and online.

 

[bebo67]

This goes out to everyone, and you can agree or disagree, that is fine. In regards to Dream, it is getting unbelievably old! If you dont like him, either skip by him or block him. This farce about "you" not liking how he treats reps, let Bryan or the mods deal with him. Going on and on and onnnnnn, and calling him out? You end up being the bully, because it isnt about how he treats the reps anymore. He has simply just become a target. Let the higher beings do their jobs. It's not your's. That is all.

 

[dionysus]

There's probably a lot of points I can make but I'll make it simple.
If you're an adult and you're online, unlike out in the physical world where you might get forced into a confrontation or engage, there's virtual off switches.
Join a different thread, group or forum. Ignore, scroll past or block. Be more selective the groups you join or people you let onto your fb list or interact with...turn the pc off and watch telly or go read a good book.
If you can't, or don't want to tune into another channel, as others suggested, don't engage, smile, and the other party is most likely to move onto someone else to get their little happy-fix to be miserable to.

And bullying is bad. But I'd also point out, not everytime someone cries bully in a forum is there one - there's the other side of the card called self-victimization which is just as detrimental to a forum. If you go out of your way to engage someone or post then cry 'poor me' for every dissenting opinion it doesnt well contribute to healthy converse.

(edited for typos)

 

[bebo67]

There's probably a lot of points I can make but I'll make it simple.
If you're an adult and you're online, unlike out in the physical world where you might get forced into a confrontation or engage, there's virutal off switches.
Join a different thread, group or forum. Ignore, scroll past or block. Be more selective the groups you join or people you let onto your fb list or interact with...turn the pc off and watch telly or go read a good book.
If you can't, or don't want to tune into another channel, as others suggested, don't engage, smile, and the other party is most likely to move onto someone else to get their little happy-fix to be miserable to.

And bullying is bad. But I'd also pont out, not everytime someone cries bully in a forum is there one - there's the other side of the card called self-victimization which is just as detrimental to a forum. If you go out of your way to engage someone or post then cry 'poor me' for every dissenting opinion it doesnt well contribute to healthy converse.

That is where the off switch comes in handy.

 

[dionysus]

That is where the off switch comes in handy.

it's handy but works for both sides, as does engaging in civil discourse - the character flaw of being unable to uphold an end of the conversation can lie on EITHER side, and a forum, by its very nature, is a place of discourse.

Sure, there's the adage of 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
The other side of the coin is 'don't dispense if you can't accommodate' (ie don't dish it if you can't take it).

It would be a wonderful world if both sides could simply 'get on' - but in a forum this size, it can't be expected everyone like everyone - just that the rules be followed.

The point is, bullying sucks. There's people with an innate nasty streak. There's also people on the other end of the spectrum who thrive on attention and playing the victim card - neither pleasant.
But thankfully, since the forum IS huge along with several social media sites, we get to pick and choose who we play with (not always choose who engages back however if we choose to put it out there for anyone to respond, whether we like their responses - right ones or wrong ones - or not).

 

[bebo67]

it's handy but works for both sides, as does engaging in civil discourse - the character flaw of being unable to uphold an end of the conversation can lie on EITHER side, and a forum, by its very nature, is a place of discourse.

Sure, there's the adage of 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
The other side of the coin is 'don't dispense if you can't accommodate' (ie don't dish it if you can't take it).

It would be a wonderful world if both sides could simply 'get on' - but in a forum this size, it can't be expected everyone like everyone - just that the rules be followed.

The point is, bullying sucks. There's people with an innate nasty streak. There's also people on the other end of the spectrum who thrive on attention and playing the victim card - neither pleasant.
But thankfully, since the forum IS huge along with several social media sites, we get to pick and choose who we play with (not always choose who engages back however if we choose to put it out there for anyone to respond, whether we like their responses - right ones or wrong ones - or not).

I like you In a non crush way. Colin is my cyber crush! But, yes, I like you, you're a wise person. I'm just good at blocking most stuff out that annoys most, and get pissed off at things most people don't care about. lol

 

[dionysus]

I like you In a non crush way. Colin is my cyber crush! But, yes, I like you, you're a wise person. I'm just good at blocking most stuff out that annoys most, and get pissed off at things most people don't care about. lol

I go lay on the floor and roll around with the dog and watch his smile and tail thump and everything is right with the world for a little bit

 

[Aryol]

It sometimes hit hard, but there are places you will find no rest. They make you feel stupid or like a person who does everything wrong in life, but everyone has a place to go. I mean I had places where people loved me and places where people thought I am stupid and tried to exclude me.

It is also hard to give someone advice in these cases, no one likes getting excluded as this was important to stay alive back in the days. We are social animals we need interactions with other people, we even write senseless stuff in boards just to share something and receive feedback. The moment someone quotes you makes you happy because there is an interaction with someone else.

But also no one is going to die because they're a few places you are not welcome, we have plenty of places to go. Sometimes we need just search a bit longer. Even the weirdest persons finding a place to go, btw. my driving instructor said this to me "Look, there are so many apes, even you can be one of them" - and he was right I have my driving license and even after years never had an accident.

 

[rena35]

Everyone has given great advice and i appreciate it. If you read my first post you will see it is about a forum where you earn from posting. I like it because it saves my pay check and i can enjoy spins from the work i do there. The bullying i think is because i cut into the contest pie which some do not like. I am not going to highlight everything that happened but being called an old greedy b%#*# is just one of the things i dealt with. Now i go and post then leave not paying attention to anything else. I do not know about any bullying here at CM, i am kind of thinking that some posts are directed to that. I have never i repeat never experienced anything of the sort here and have found members helpful. Like i put above i enjoy reading the posts even if i can not play at the casinos. I think this is the most i have posted since joining. My few other complaints and sometimes moans (most times) is about wanting to have better choices as a USA player. I wish the drought would end soon but no end in sight. No i do not have much of a social life, i can not devote the time right now fighting my chronic illness. I spend time on the forum and gaming a few hrs between kids and work. As far as anything else posted above i have no input. My question was answered and again thank you to everyone.

 

[geordiecolin]

I think that we need to be careful to not ignore the fact that some posters do not have the tools that others have when it comes to appropriate and inappropriate posting behaviour. Or that it is quite possible that if it was not for folk being able to post in familiar environment/s they may be pretty cut off from society.
As for folk getting annoyed on other peoples behalf goes. Surely it is for the individual to deal with how others effect them online?

 

[greylady]

I always remember being told ' The ultimate consideration if a person is being bullied must be the effect of the conduct on the recipient ', it is not for us to decide who is being bullied but the effect and cause of our own actions on any individual - you can't judge until you have been in that person's shoes

 

[paul7388]

The ultimate consideration if a person is being bullied must be the effect of the conduct on the recipient

I would agree with that if i knew what it meant lol. Thick people like me need simple english .

 

[pinnit2014]

I always remember being told ' The ultimate consideration if a person is being bullied must be the effect of the conduct on the recipient ', it is not for us to decide who is being bullied but the effect and cause of our own actions on any individual - you can't judge until you have been in that person's shoes

I get that but what about if their reaction is so disproportionate to what you're doing/saying, that it would be regarded as wholly unreasonable? eg. I start saying to someone 'i disagree' and they act in such an overly dramatic way that wouldn't be out of place in a theatre?

 

[geordiecolin]

I always remember being told ' The ultimate consideration if a person is being bullied must be the effect of the conduct on the recipient ', it is not for us to decide who is being bullied but the effect and cause of our own actions on any individual - you can't judge until you have been in that person's shoes

A simple rule of thumb is to stick to attacking the post and not the poster. The trouble is that some folk feel personally attacked even when this rule is being implemented as they may not be able to distinguish the difference between the two.
Victims will believe they are victims even when they are clearly not.

 

[Tirilej]

A simple rule of thumb is to stick to attacking the post and not the poster. The trouble is that some folk feel personally attacked even when this rule is being implemented as they may not be able to distinguish the difference between the two.
Victims will believe they are victims even when they are clearly not.

That is a very good rule!
When things like this pops up I always try to take a good look at myself. I don't think I could have said anything different in this case we're talking about since I've always tried to help.
What I have done though is maybe to like posts that have been attacking the person instead of their post. Is that making me a bully? I don't know, maybe.

It's always a thin line and here there are other victims too. I don't know. As usual I'm happy I'm not a moderator

 

[greylady]

I would agree with that if i knew what it meant lol. Thick people like me need simple english .

It basically means that whilst you don't necessarily feel as though you are bullying someone and most people would agree that to be the case, the person on the receiving end feels anxious, picked on and even excluded then your actions/words have instilled those feelings and/or emotions so to them it does feel like they are being bullied.

Who is right? Sorry but to instill those feelings onto a person, in my book is bullying as our tolerance levels are different with each individual personality

 

[greylady]

I get that but what about if their reaction is so disproportionate to what you're doing/saying, that it would be regarded as wholly unreasonable? eg. I start saying to someone 'i disagree' and they act in such an overly dramatic way that wouldn't be out of place in a theatre?

It boils down to how 'you' made the recipient feel, what you see as unreasonable is not necessarily indicative of how the recipient feels. Some people are more sensitive than others, do we ignore their reactions because we consider them to be overly sensitive - just food for thought.

 

[paul7388]

It boils down to how 'you' made the recipient feel, what you see as unreasonable is not necessarily indicative of how the recipient feels. Some people are more sensitive than others, do we ignore their reactions because we consider them to be overly sensitive - just food for thought.

True . But on the other hand tho there is only so much you can do to try and consider others feelings. If someone is that sensitive that anything that is said to them offends them then basically there is nothing you can do.

 

[greylady]

There is also an element of intonation, which is not in the written word so therefore is open to interpretation by each individual reader

 

[Borgie]

It boils down to how 'you' made the recipient feel, what you see as unreasonable is not necessarily indicative of how the recipient feels. Some people are more sensitive than others, do we ignore their reactions because we consider them to be overly sensitive - just food for thought.

It's more of a complicated issue if the person claiming to be bullied is also bullying others themselves. Even more so if reps are bring bullied as they are unlikely to speak up , more likely to just not bother posting or responding as much. Bullying in any form should not he tolerated but pointing out that someone has been out of order or OTT in a polite decent way doesn't automatically translate as bullying.