Today is the day I have to decide to stop ruining my life.
It's still not that bad financially, but I know this will progress and haunt me even more in the future if I continue gambling.
I have no control of what I am doing.
I started gambling since I was like 14, playing poker for money etc.
When I was 18, I went to the casino with my friend, put 10 euros on roulette on numbers 17 and 20. The ball dropped in 17, and the next spin in 20. I was shocked by the amount of money I won.
I continued playing regularly and was absolutely killing it. I would win almost every time. That is where I got really addicted.
I had a few dry spells without any gambling, and I am pretty sure those were the only times in the last few years where I felt happy and not concerned. I would occasionally stop playing casino and only sportsbets, but the stress is the same.
Up until last month, I was 2 months clean and felt amazing. Then I got some free cash on one site and played with it. The next day I was already depositing money.
Few days ago, I got a bank loan of 1500 euros. I was losing 150 euros per day last few days. Today I lost like 800. I have only 400 euros left in my bank account. I won't touch them anymore since I have to wait another 3 weeks till my paycheck.
I will have to work atleast 6 months to slowly get back this money I lost. I deserve this punishment.
I want to be sure that I want to quit but there is still a small bit of me saying just do one more deposit.
I excluded myself just now so I cant deposit anymore. I installed betblocker on my laptop and excluded myself for 5 years. I cant open any betting sites or casinos on laptop.
Is there an app to block it on mobile too? Is there a way to get my email blocked to prevent making new accounts on new sites?
I have literally zero control now. I am disgusted by myself. I just want to stop this suffering. I changed from a happy person to a miserable one, only due to gambling. My parents also gamble and they ruined their last 10 years because of that.
I need support from you guys. Any advice is welcome. Thanks!
It's still not that bad financially, but I know this will progress and haunt me even more in the future if I continue gambling.
I have no control of what I am doing.
I started gambling since I was like 14, playing poker for money etc.
When I was 18, I went to the casino with my friend, put 10 euros on roulette on numbers 17 and 20. The ball dropped in 17, and the next spin in 20. I was shocked by the amount of money I won.
I continued playing regularly and was absolutely killing it. I would win almost every time. That is where I got really addicted.
I had a few dry spells without any gambling, and I am pretty sure those were the only times in the last few years where I felt happy and not concerned. I would occasionally stop playing casino and only sportsbets, but the stress is the same.
Up until last month, I was 2 months clean and felt amazing. Then I got some free cash on one site and played with it. The next day I was already depositing money.
Few days ago, I got a bank loan of 1500 euros. I was losing 150 euros per day last few days. Today I lost like 800. I have only 400 euros left in my bank account. I won't touch them anymore since I have to wait another 3 weeks till my paycheck.
I will have to work atleast 6 months to slowly get back this money I lost. I deserve this punishment.
I want to be sure that I want to quit but there is still a small bit of me saying just do one more deposit.
I excluded myself just now so I cant deposit anymore. I installed betblocker on my laptop and excluded myself for 5 years. I cant open any betting sites or casinos on laptop.
Is there an app to block it on mobile too? Is there a way to get my email blocked to prevent making new accounts on new sites?
I have literally zero control now. I am disgusted by myself. I just want to stop this suffering. I changed from a happy person to a miserable one, only due to gambling. My parents also gamble and they ruined their last 10 years because of that.
I need support from you guys. Any advice is welcome. Thanks!