weesie
Ueber Meister
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Location
- Old bag lady with a laptop
Contempt of Court
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A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:
"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
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Bumper Stickers
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"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"I love cats...they taste just like chicken"
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep."
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... ...Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car...."
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
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-----------------------
A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:
"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
----------------------------------
Bumper Stickers
---------------------
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"I love cats...they taste just like chicken"
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep."
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... ...Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car...."
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
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