You learn something new every day.

[Kroffe]

Sooo... I was taking my monthly shower about an hour ago.
Nothing special, just the same old "hot water on well-trained-sexy-body-routine" that everyone does.
Since newspapers are not really designed to work in the shower, or i mean, they do, but only for a short while.
Well anyway, i was reading at the shampoo-bottle, "Vegan formula". Oh cool, thats a thing i did not know before, maybe this is the thing im learning today.

The water in the shower must have been extra hot (or was it me?) because the window+mirrors started fogging up.
Better open the window and let in some cool air from outside. Does not really bother me, since im safe under the waterfall of boiling water coming from the showerhead.
And thats where i learned my second thing for the day.. Apparently if you open the window while taking a shower, there is a 100% chance that a bird will come flying into your bathroom and scare the ever-living shit out of you.
Oh and for the uk folk in here, this was the feather-wing-having kind of bird, not a female human.
Why do you guys even call girls "birds"? Is it because, just like doves, they never buy fries of their own, but get real angry if they are not allowed to steal yours?

A quick tussle with the bird from hell later and i was alone again in the bathroom.
Clean (cleaner atleast) than when i started, and with a crack in the mirror after the bird tried escaping into it. (those human-birds like mirrors aswell)

TLDR: You can make shampoo out of vegans, and birds hate me.

 

[goatwack]

Looks like Dove have made their products maybe too authentic

 

[Nordog]

Oh please goat.

 

[Hydr0]

Sooo... I was taking my monthly shower about an hour ago.
Nothing special, just the same old "hot water on well-trained-sexy-body-routine" that everyone does.
Since newspapers are not really designed to work in the shower, or i mean, they do, but only for a short while.
Well anyway, i was reading at the shampoo-bottle, "Vegan formula". Oh cool, thats a thing i did not know before, maybe this is the thing im learning today.

The water in the shower must have been extra hot (or was it me?) because the window+mirrors started fogging up.
Better open the window and let in some cool air from outside. Does not really bother me, since im safe under the waterfall of boiling water coming from the showerhead.
And thats where i learned my second thing for the day.. Apparently if you open the window while taking a shower, there is a 100% chance that a bird will come flying into your bathroom and scare the ever-living shit out of you.
Oh and for the uk folk in here, this was the feather-wing-having kind of bird, not a female human.
Why do you guys even call girls "birds"? Is it because, just like doves, they never buy fries of their own, but get real angry if they are not allowed to steal yours?

A quick tussle with the bird from hell later and i was alone again in the bathroom.
Clean (cleaner atleast) than when i started, and with a crack in the mirror after the bird tried escaping into it. (those human-birds like mirrors aswell)

TLDR: You can make shampoo out of vegans, and birds hate me.

That’s hilarious. I had a similar experience once with a micro bat.

I was chilling in the shower, washing my hair, singing a few tunes ( as ya do ), then outta nowhere comes this mini vampire - scared the living daylights outta me! Suffice to say, I got out of that shower, and out of that bathroom like a bat outta hell!

Had to call in ‘The Batman’ to remove the bat.

PS: about a week later a micro bat flew into my fishing line and got all tangled up. Released him, and he flew away unscathed, but wtf man!

 

[bamberfishcake]

I have a bird story from when i was about 10 laying on the living room floor of my Nans watching tele.

They had a gas fireplace with a wooden surround they used to keep tacky ornaments on, with a hole at the base for ventilation in the chimney breast.

My Grandad was at work and we heard a bird flapping about in the chimney. My Nan said 'dont worry it cant get out' and with that a sparrow popped his head through the hole, looked about and then flew around the living room crashing into the balcony windows before my Nan had leapt into action, opened up the door and done her own impression of a bigger bird (meaning winged creature not large woman) around the front room to scare it out.

Dont know the origin of the slang term bird in the uk. Old cockney rhyming slang used 'lemon' as a term for the other half also, as in 'lemon curd' - bird. Must admit, doesnt sound very flattering to be called the lemon or the bird. Not convinced bird would have started out as being a resented term in the middle ages, if it goes back that far. I have a hunch it would have started out with a more flattering use maybe.

 

[Hydr0]

Some guys still refer to women as ‘birds’ in Australia; usually country town colloquialism. ‘Sheila’ is quite common too. More old school.

I’ve heard the word ‘lemon’ used quite a bit over the years to describe gay women too - not usually meant as a derogatory expression, and generally considered to be friendly banter. Although, the word ‘lemon’ is also used here to describe ‘a dud’ something that is dodgy or broken. The car I bought was a lemon for example. So, with that in mind, not sure that calling a gay woman a lemon is going to sit well with everyone, nor is it flattering.

I personally don’t use any of the above mentioned expressions to describe straight or gay women.