What is your worst non-monetary loss?

[ballysdb]

To Trezz and Cheekymonkey: Did GA work for you? Ifound out there is a meeting only a block away from me and thought about going. I don't know if I would like it if it were a step program such as AA though. I don't have a drinking problem too, but an ex does and the way he described the meetings there I didn't like the way they sounded. Other than losing time because of gambling I would say I have lost some rescpect in myself...

 

[Pinababy69]

Other than losing time because of gambling I would say I have lost some rescpect in myself...

I would say that losing respect in yourself is much more serious than losing time. JMO.

 

[AussieDave]

Did GA work for you? Ifound out there is a meeting only a block away from me and thought about going. I don't know if I would like it if it were a step program such as AA though. I don't have a drinking problem too, but an ex does and the way he described the meetings there I didn't like the way they sounded. Other than losing time because of gambling I would say I have lost some rescpect in myself...

I'm of the view different courses for different horses. The twelve step program sure has a lot of success, but, I think you have to reach a point where you want do something about it before you've stand any chance of success.

The twelve step program is based on abstainance. So in that regard GA would still see me as being in action. Though I don't see it that way myself.

As far as GA being like AA. I was out of town a fair few years back and really needed a meeting, no GA, only AA was available so I went. Not really my cup of tea. Althuogh the programs don't differ that much I think gamblers are just a different breed. Apart from that if you feel you need some help it doesn't hurt to go along and test the waters. I mean they ain't going to jump ya, blind fold ya and throw you into the back of a black van and drive you to the de-programming farm

 

[ballysdb]

Thanks Trezz for taking the time to reply. I think I will give it a try. To Pinababy: I agree I wrote in an earlier post that I had lost time from gambling but thinking about it I realized I had lost respect for myself and just typing that made me realize the depth of it. I would quote what people said in my replies but I cant figure out how to do it!

 

[gfkostas]

To Trezz and Cheekymonkey: Did GA work for you? I found out there is a meeting only a block away from me and thought about going. I don't know if I would like it if it were a step program such as AA though. I don't have a drinking problem too, but an ex does and the way he described the meetings there I didn't like the way they sounded. Other than losing time because of gambling I would say I have lost some rescpect in myself...

Never been to GA but as far as I know at least here in the UK Gamecare are pretty good in dealing with problematic gamblers. If you feel that you need support or advice contact their helpline on 0845 6000 133.

 

[gfkostas]

By the way in case you haven't seen it there is a long thread here: https://www.casinomeister.com/forums/threads/how-to-blow-5k-in-one-evening.11571/
with my and many others input on addictive gambling. Am positive that it would be benefecial for you if you take some time to read through the messages. If you need any help or to just talk to someone online about your concerns pm me and ill try to help you.

 

[ballysdb]

Thank you very much gf. I appreciate the link and the offer. I will go check the link right now

 

[NoMouthToScream]

Although I probably haven't been in this casino gaming for as long as some of you. I would say that I've reduced the amount of time I've exercised. I can notice some extra meat on the sides. But besides that, I hoard my money like a fiend and only play with a certain percentage. If i exceed this, then it just becomes a job trying to recover my losses or gains.

 

[suzecat]

Boredom.

 

[ballysdb]

Thank you gfkostas for providing me that link! I have been reading it with great abondon for an hour now. I dont know if I am supposed to post in that thread or this one as I am still new to this forum. Anyway, one of the posts talked about Obssessive compulsive disorder which i have had since I was young. I didn't know the name of it until I saw a show about it. Also, I have an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend who is an alcoholic. The relationship is more like mother and son. Maybe , no I am sure I gamble to relieve that stress which can be monstrous at times. To be honest I can remember my dad having pull tabs in a box which were used for fund raising at the American legion. i couldn't have been more than 8 years old when i would sneak in the room, leave my dollar in the box and pull those tabs hoping to get 3 of a kind or something! What would I have done if I won? Hey Dad, pay up?! During holidays the whole family would play cards for pennies and I would look foward to that so much. "Can't we play for nickles Mom?". Maybe it was the fact that the whole family was together? My parents would go to Atlantic city when I was about 16. They would get very excited about it and I would say "Big deal. You put a quarter in and you lose etc." She would say "Just wait till you put one in and 3 come out" She was not trying to be flippant about it. She had no idea I would get so bad. OK I'M crying now. My mom passed away 2 years ago and I really hope I didn't dissapoint her too much with this problem I have. I don't think so. She was a wonderful forgiving woman. Sorry guys, I didn't think this would all come out of me tonight. I guess I just wanted to relate how my gambling started. I also should say that the first time I went to A/C I won $75. Big money for me back in 1982! The second time I won $375. Maybe as others have said, a win can start this ball rolling. I had a nice but very quiet chilhood and I really didn't do many things wrong. I had no reason to rebel. Maybe when I gamble I feel a little wild, a little "bad". I guess it's different things for different people that make them gamble. I guess thats enough for one post. Whew! sorry if this was a bit too dramatic folks. thanks for listening.

 

[Macgyver]

Understanding yourself is the first step, ballysdb, to changing behavior you might not feel is best for you.

No apologies necessary.

 

[AussieDave]

Understanding yourself is the first step

 

[Pinababy69]

Also, I have an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend who is an alcoholic. The relationship is more like mother and son. Maybe , no I am sure I gamble to relieve that stress which can be monstrous at times.

My area of expertise. If you ever need to talk, I am just a PM away. And just an FYI, since I am no longer with him, I gamble ALOT less, I don't feel the need like I used to, the getting away from it all. In addition, in regards to a point that gfkostas made in this thread, since I lost the ex, I love and respect myself a whole lot more. That may sound conceited but it's the truth. And the fact is when you feel better about yourself, the obsessive need to gamble or partake of any destructive behaviour is lessened.

So Bally, if you need an ear, I'm here...but be warned, I'm tough, lol. I won't tell you that it's okay to hide your problems away in some pulls of a slot. I may tell you to deal with the real problem.

 

[AussieDave]

ballysdb,

For what it's worth & what I found helpful, was not to place too many high expectations on myself, from the get go. Understand that if you have a slip, it's not the end of the world.
Most importantly treat yourself to special little things once in a while. For example, I used buy a pc game every two weeks.

Understand that with any type of personal growth or inner change, it's going to bring up a lot of other stuff too. If you can get a support Network going, even if this is just someone who will simply listen. As they say you got to love yourself before anyone else will really love you. <hmmm I am getting deep>


Above all try to take each day as it comes and give yourself a pat on the back, cause you really deserve it!

 

[gfkostas]

Thank you gfkostas for providing me that link!........

Am glad to be of help. I/We appreciate the honesty in which you immersed yourself while writting that post. I can't assuage your potentially sad feelings for some areas of your life which are less than perfect, with any words nor should I, for your pain is something that most likely one day you will be grateful for it gives you the opportunity to 'see' how important and vital it is to be loving and kind. By having this awareness you start rearranging the priorities of your life off of what do they want from me and what am 'supposed' to be doing to what is 'important' for me and what makes me feel 'good'. The more good you feel the better Everything tends to work let alone that you becoem free of addictions.

What if you slept ? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed ? And what
if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there you are addiction free, fulfilled with love? And what if,when you awake, you actually are that person in your dream? Ah,what then?
~Your truest life is when you are in your dreams awake.~Henry Thoreau

See if you can bring your dreaming state into 'reality'. That's a nice 'goal' one could have . It only takes one small step and you are free. Can we take that step?

I have a very firm knowing that all our emotional troubles and addictions stem from our lack of love. I have made hopeless homeless people (FAR worse than us in terms of how many problems we have) on the streets of London smile like no one else and all i did was to be loving towards those, whatever it is that they are doing out there.
You don't have to overcomplicate it with intellectual violence. Addictions are easy to be solved and the solution can be seen as easily as the problem appears but sadly we have to go through couple of years of depression and then suddenly we have a 'sudden shift' of awareness where we simply and suddenly 'get over it'. That's when we understand that in order to 'understand' something simple and move along sometimes it requires a very long time. These sudden shifts come from awareness itself.
For me your gambling addiction or any addiction it's easier than what you think and believe about it. Your opinion is trivial at this point for what you need to consult is your hearts(feelings) not your 'ego' which is at fault otherwise you wouldn't feel resentful. 'I want to feel good' is something you can say every morning. It's really simple tested by me . The heart has precedence and the brain will follow and not the other way around. A mind at war with itself won't serve you well but only tire you and dissapoint you.
Does this make sense/help at all? Everything I say is directly from my own experience and growth/knowledge.

As they say you got to love yourself before anyone else will really love you.

I so agree. You have to be the love you wish to attract into your life.

 

[ballysdb]

Thank you so much Pina baby and Trezz. I will try to do what you both suggest. I think it's funny that I came to this site for more gambling talk and I find myself finally able and willing to seriously think about getting help. I think this is because all of you are understanding, kind, and quite intelligent. Im not blowing smoke up anyones ass here. I really mean it. Gambling is part of my history. I think I really need to look at myself and get whatever help I need. Pina, I'm sure you can understand about the ex. i started to write more about that situation but I don't want to bore others with that issue. maybe I will Im you sometime. Thank you again for the offer. And I'm glad you're tough! I will need that. Love to all

 

[gfkostas]

I think this is because all of you are understanding, kind, and quite intelligent.

Welcome to Casinomeister land

 

[AussieDave]

'I want to feel good' is something you can say every morning. It's really simple tested by me .

So true

You may also like to try getting some post-its <or just pieces of paper sticky taped> and write positive things on them. Stick-em where you'll see them each day. Positive affirmations, changing the negitives and enforcing the +'s.

The heart has precedence and the brain will follow and not the other way around. A mind at war with itself won't serve you well but only tire you and dissapoint you.

That's some pretty insightful advice!

On the surface this is the most unlikely place I'd expect to find 'old souls', then again stranger things have been known to happen at sea

 

[vickie40]

Thank you so much Pina baby and Trezz. I will try to do what you both suggest. I think it's funny that I came to this site for more gambling talk and I find myself finally able and willing to seriously think about getting help. I think this is because all of you are understanding, kind, and quite intelligent. Im not blowing smoke up anyones ass here. I really mean it. Gambling is part of my history. I think I really need to look at myself and get whatever help I need. Pina, I'm sure you can understand about the ex. i started to write more about that situation but I don't want to bore others with that issue. maybe I will Im you sometime. Thank you again for the offer. And I'm glad you're tough! I will need that. Love to all

I don't post here that often but have found the majority of the people here to be extremely honest at times but very caring. Welcome!!

 

[gfkostas]

You may also like to try getting some post-its <or just pieces of paper sticky taped> and write positive things on them. Stick-em where you'll see them each day. Positive affirmations, changing the negitives and enforcing the +'s.

That's very,very useful indeed. In my opinion affirmations help you to keep your thoughts fragmented and yourself into the level of consciouness that you want to be permanently. At the beggining you need to frequently remind yourself of the affirmations that make the most sense to you till you bypass your doubts mechanisms and then suddenly at some point you realize 'out of nowhere' that you no longer have to force these positive 'things' in you as you have 'become' them(I could share a story of mine but i guess it would be way out of line for this thread). Then you not only say out loud affirmations and enjoy them but more importantly you feel great because you are 'being' your affirmations. You go out into the world not to bring a message to those who may need it but to the contrary you are your message and have only that to give away. That's a hell of a lot different than going out trying to show off your 'wisdom' at every conversation that pop ups which is common nowadays.
Conclusion: It's different to know about something and to be something.

On the surface this is the most unlikely place I'd expect to find 'old souls'

Are you implying that am old? Am only in my twenties

 

[Simmo!]

You may also like to try getting some post-its <or just pieces of paper sticky taped> and write positive things on them. Stick-em where you'll see them each day.

www.zapits.com - See, I knew it would come in handy one day

 

[ballysdb]

Thank you gf. You're words went straight to my heart. I think I'll try letting my heart do some thinking for me instead of my brain for awhile. It could use the rest. Funny you would use a quote about dreams. Last night is the first night that I can remember when I slept peacefully and did not have a bad dream of my mom. Again thanks to all of you and you're kind words.

 

[gfkostas]

Last night is the first night that I can remember when I slept peacefully and did not have a bad dream of my mom. Again thanks to all of you and you're kind words.

That's very nice indeed . Maybe the positive energy that you are generating in you by reading these posts has already helped you. It's worth remembering this affirmation when you are having sad thoughts: Whatever the question love is the answer. Whatever questions may pop up in your mind, love(peace) is your answer to them and consequently to yourself! rather than feelings of sadness. After a while the negative thoughts begin to dissapear for love is stronger than hate and always triumphs. There is a famous quote that says: I can choose peace rather than this.

 

[MarcyW]

For a time being I lost my child.

My husband I are back together but my gambling was so bad a few years ago that we seperated. He took our son and the meidiator agreed that until I had my gambling under control that I was unfit to be a mother. There are no words in the English language that can hurt as much as those. I was thousands in debt, had racked up our credit cards to the limit and done other things I wasn't proud of. I got things under control and it was just the last few months that I started to gamble again. I enjoy it and so far have been able to control myself but I'm always thinking n the back of my mind that I hope this isn't happening again.

 

[cheekymonkey]

For a time being I lost my child.

My husband I are back together but my gambling was so bad a few years ago that we seperated. He took our son and the meidiator agreed that until I had my gambling under control that I was unfit to be a mother. There are no words in the English language that can hurt as much as those. I was thousands in debt, had racked up our credit cards to the limit and done other things I wasn't proud of. I got things under control and it was just the last few months that I started to gamble again. I enjoy it and so far have been able to control myself but I'm always thinking n the back of my mind that I hope this isn't happening again.

This is terrible news Marcy.

You cannot let this happen again. You HAVE to keep your gambling under control. If you don't, you will end up on the streets, never seeing your child again. You control your own destiny. Don't f**k it up.