To Finally Quit Gambling

[Mavin1]

What does it take for a player/gambler to finally come to realize it is time to quit playing at online casinos once and for all?
This has been a difficult choice for myself and more difficult to follow through with. Very much like a long time smoker trying to quit smoking, you quit, then go back to it, time and time again until you have finally decided it no longer pleases you and it's just a habit.
I have several times quit playing online, but found myself creeping back, putting a casino on my desktop, then another and another, until I was full blown gambling again.
Then the cycle of the not so fun experience would start all over, I would start feeling disgusted and fed up and one by one would eliminate the casinos from my desktop, only to repeat this habitual cycle again.

Now however I have finally come to the crossroad of do I want to continue the same old cycle of reguritating my empty feelings or do I want to take the new fork in the road I kept avoiding?
I have decided to take the new path and avoid the one that I always tread before. I know it will be difficult not to turn around and go back to what I once enjoyed so much and yet now I finally realize that maybe it won't be as difficult as I thought it would be.
Before the difficulty was due to my mild addiction, we all have some level of addiction to gambling, but I didn't feel mine was the extreme form, but could see it headed that way if I continued on this same path.
What I have come to realize is the addiction is cultivated by "trust", trust for the casinos to give a fair game with a fair amount of wins or fair amount of time for your money invested.

The trust is eroded by longer payout times, shorter sessions and the rare and elusive times of actually winning an amount worthy of cashing out.
Trust is further more eroded by a government that has no business making my decisions of what I had enjoyed as a pastime, thus causing the really great choices of where I desired to play to be scaled down to the point where I felt like I had been painted into a corner and there was no way out.

Trust from there begins to pursue it's own demise, with the casinos that are available to the US player, to be ever so much more, tipping the scales to the negative in overall experience for the player until it has slid completely off the scales and lies dead or dying in the dirt.

For myself as I have said, the thing that kept me coming back was the trust, even as it diminished, as long as there was a shred of trust, I was still there. But I have come to the realization that the trust is now totally and completely gone from my desire to enjoy online casinos and my thoughts of maybe trying one more time is overwhelmingly overruled by my not trusting to give away one more deposit to any casino.

Sure I had enjoyed some casinos for some time, even the not so popular oddball ones, but even those have no appeal for me anymore.
Why, because the stories of the delayed processing, the not processing, the stolen processors and I could go on, has killed the dream that made gambling online fun, profitable at times and I could "trust" in it.

With any other major cancer in society, it is difficult to point fingers at where the disease began in order to treat the problem, but this disease is different as we/I know where it has begun, but also know our hands are tied to do anything about it. We do not control our government that makes our decisions, we do not control the gaming software companies that we support, we do not control anything that keeps that level of trust always there. The only thing we do control, once we have come to the end of the road, is if we will keep playing no matter what.

Kill the trust and you kill the players.

I have posted this here because this is one players experience of where it begins and where it ends.

 

[bgermain1985]

Hey Mavin1,

Beautiful post, I must say - absolutely gorgeous.

I read through your post and can relate to everything you had to say. Please allow me this opportunity to perhaps branch off and add on to what you had to say here.

I know of the cycles. The installation of clients, frustration and self guilt at losses, only to remove everything from the system and then slowly integrate things back onto the computer.

One of the biggest drives behind the guilt I have found is being glued to the screen trying to complete my playthrough in an effort to 'close' the current investment. If it isn't a playthrough, then you have to win enough to overcome fees and sometimes feel forced to bet your winnings only to lose them and end with nothing. If a cashout is pending, that's hard too because the fact money is in process leaves a lingering effect, drawing you back in to play some more.

More importantly though, on the first two points above you can find yourself playing more aggressively and outside your usual betting patterns. Try and find me a player that plays exactly the same in the casinos as he does online.

Moving on to trust, I can't play an online table game knowing the RNG is probably driven off the same thing as a slot machine. Why I can trust an online slot and not an online table is a paradox...

On the up side, the increased difficulties of online play as a US player is one I can share with too (and believe me - it helps getting away from the online gambling easier)

Long story short, I think the online ravine has dried up, and if I want to play online I stick to a poker sit and go. Otherwise, I'm going to the casinos for the social interaction (ie. craps, poker) for games where I can get good odds. If I want to play slots and have the entertainment value, I find 5 line @ .01 slots works best for me and kill a couple hours on twenty bucks.

Slot play is meant to be entertaining and a big win is hard to get. Online play just focuses solely on that need to get a big hit and takes the most important part out of gambling, fun.

 

[kauphy]

i,m even getting that way. i play on line caz i have to small babys and i won,t leave them with anyone. but i am down to 2 casinos and i do win its hitting the cash out thats hard. but i,m playing less and less. so soon i,m sure will really slow down.

 

[Mavin1]

I also think one of the things that draw many of us into gaming stems from our childhood, when we played and fantasized about pirates and treasure. We were dazzled by the thought of finding treasure and as a child would obsess about it, finding junky trinkets and pretending they were our treasure. We would bury our booty in the yard somewhere in an old can or box and later go back and dig it up, then bury it again and dig it up. But we always went back and dug up our treasure, because it drew us to it.
Then we get older and these fantasies are all but forgotten, until the computer age came along and progressed to where it is today and online gambling has now become the treasure hunting pirate games that we enjoyed so much as children.
Players play for the win, not for the loses, because we want that treasure that we so actively sought as children, but now it has become a real tangible treasure that only an adult can or could experience.
However, somewhere the game has changed and the pirate keeps coming back to port with his empty hull.
Your attack on the ships (casinos), becomes more aggressive as the defending ships (casinos), protect their own empty hulls as they have themselves made away with the booty, or planned things wrong and the booty was gone far to quickly, or put their booty in a ship that went adrift and was lost at sea.
So when you, the pirate, can't trust your crew not to mutiny, or your ship not to sink or her majesties army not to hang you, then you know you are no longer a pirate.
So with remorse, I hang up my swashbuckling hat, boots and saber and say goodbye to that pirate in me.

Just having a bit of fun with my thoughts here.

 

[bgermain1985]

Pirates just make things more fun

 

[jod5413]

So when you, the pirate, can't trust your crew not to mutiny, or your ship not to sink or her majesties army not to hang you, then you know you are no longer a pirate.
So with remorse, I hang up my swashbuckling hat, boots and saber and say goodbye to that pirate in me.

Did you ever write romance novels? You should!

Not making fun of you, Mavin, truly. What you have posted here has an impact on lots of members here. They share your feelings about on line gambling.

I wish and hope for you the easiest time getting through a stressful period. And yes, I do believe gambling can be an addiction just like smoking or drinking or doing drugs.

 

[Mavin1]

Did you ever write romance novels? You should!

Not making fun of you, Mavin, truly. What you have posted here has an impact on lots of members here. They share your feelings about on line gambling.

I wish and hope for you the easiest time getting through a stressful period. And yes, I do believe gambling can be an addiction just like smoking or drinking or doing drugs.

Why thank you Jod, but I am to bitchy to be romantic . However I do have 2 childrens books that I have gotten copyrighted many moons ago, never found any interest in the market. I also have some childrens games I invented, but Milton Bradley has their own in house gamers and of course board games are now pretty much a thing of the past.
But I do enjoy my art and it does help buffer the feelings of wanting to gamble. I just think of how anxious I am to see the finished painting and then look forward to the next one.
The anticipation of working a painting from a smear of color on the canvas to a finished scene that you just want to walk into has become the biggest thrill for me. Before I looked forward to giving the slots another try, now I look forward to seeing how my paintings will morph.
However, I'm running out of wall space , but the hubby did say he would build me some more walls .
I guess the best thing for eliminating a negative in ones life, is to find that special positive and cultivate it.


Hint for our talented De Beuker, get busy on that music!

 

[love2winalot]

Great Post. It is also great that you have something else to do, or to do more of, in your case painting. When a person, 'retires", "quits" ect, the question always come up, "But what am i going to do now"? You have an advantage over a lot of people in that you actually do have something to do now. As far as your paintings go, there is a little unknown company called E-bay.............Just in case you run out of walls..............

 

[Mavin1]

Great Post. It is also great that you have something else to do, or to do more of, in your case painting. When a person, 'retires", "quits" ect, the question always come up, "But what am i going to do now"? You have an advantage over a lot of people in that you actually do have something to do now. As far as your paintings go, there is a little unknown company called E-bay.............Just in case you run out of walls..............

Thanks, that cracked me up , gave me my days smile. You can always pop in at Ebay and say hi anytime! Desertsandhopper is my Ebay user name.

 

[jod5413]

Hey Lady,

I tried to find you on Ebay, no luck. What am I doing wrong? I used your Ebay name, Desertsandhopper, and got nothing! Help!!!!!

 

[Mavin1]

Hey Lady,

I tried to find you on Ebay, no luck. What am I doing wrong? I used your Ebay name, Desertsandhopper, and got nothing! Help!!!!!

Ebay keeps changing things, darn them anyways!
Click on community, type in my user name, a page comes up that looks like nothing on the one side, scroll down and put in the verification number, another bit of Ebay wierdness and it should bring me up like this;


Exact match:
Member id desertsandhopper ( Feedback Score Of 1762) 9 years 6 months AZ,United States

Let me know if it works.

 

[felicie]

I think you have a lot more control than you realize my friend. It's our govt. that's ruined our fun. Let's stay and fight.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas

 

[Nate]

.......trust for the casinos to give a fair game with a fair amount of wins or fair amount of time for your money invested.

The trust is eroded by longer payout times, shorter sessions and the rare and elusive times of actually winning an amount worthy of cashing out.

Kill the trust and you kill the players.

Excellent Post!!! :notworthy

It is sadly and truely how the industry has become... With the poor payouts; shorter sessions and not winning a worthy amount versus your investment ... the Trust is 95% diminished on my side.... Goodwill gestures and so forth last for a small period of time... thereafter its back to old ways...

When i play online... i usually stick to ONE casino... Im getting more and more surprised by the 'Bad Luck' runs .... Ive had MAJOR hits in the past on other software platforms but when ur Gut usually tells u something is 'not right' ... it probably is...

 

[ksech]

Good luck to you in your future endeavors. As the saying goes...if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

I don't think all the regualtions US citizens are encountering are the only setbacks for acquiring a "trusting/trustworthy" relationship with a casino. The casinos are doing a lot themselves. Whether it be through delayed payments, bonus banning, or just outright roguish behavior, many don't seem to care about the player. For every person who stops gambling 10 more will replace them. There will never be the scenerio of the world of online gamblers quitting at the same time. Perhaps, if one day out of the year everyone stopped gambling, casinos would take better care of the more "loyal" players. It would hurt them badly, but sadly, it will never happen.

I too have been on the road to quitting. Only making 1 or 2 very small deposits a week (was playing up to 3 casinos a day/ every day). And that is even getting tedious. The thrill factor is gone. The allure of the sounds and flashing symbols whizzing by is gone.

Perhaps the stricter regulations for depositing has been a godsend for me. I'm not one to sit and try to figure out how I can still play, it isn't worth the time and frustration. Especially, when the deposits are gone in a matter of 5-10 minutes.

Keep your chin up, this isn't a bad thing you are trying to do.

 

[Mavin1]

Good luck to you in your future endeavors. As the saying goes...if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

I don't think all the regualtions US citizens are encountering are the only setbacks for acquiring a "trusting/trustworthy" relationship with a casino. The casinos are doing a lot themselves. Whether it be through delayed payments, bonus banning, or just outright roguish behavior, many don't seem to care about the player. For every person who stops gambling 10 more will replace them. There will never be the scenerio of the world of online gamblers quitting at the same time. Perhaps, if one day out of the year everyone stopped gambling, casinos would take better care of the more "loyal" players. It would hurt them badly, but sadly, it will never happen.

I too have been on the road to quitting. Only making 1 or 2 very small deposits a week (was playing up to 3 casinos a day/ every day). And that is even getting tedious. The thrill factor is gone. The allure of the sounds and flashing symbols whizzing by is gone.

Perhaps the stricter regulations for depositing has been a godsend for me. I'm not one to sit and try to figure out how I can still play, it isn't worth the time and frustration. Especially, when the deposits are gone in a matter of 5-10 minutes.

Keep your chin up, this isn't a bad thing you are trying to do.

So so true! It goes hand in hand, governing bodies, software companies and the casinos themselves. They treat the worldwide public like and endless fountain of resources. Saddly they see the bottomless pool of grapes (people) ready and willing to keep paying the price, but never looking at the dried up raisins lying strewn on the banks.
So things will continue in the direction they are going because the machine has it's own momentum, that cannot be affected.
But the dissapointment is not isolated to just US players, all are affected one way or another.

I contemplate on the wins I have had, versus the amount of time and money spent and it doesn't even come close to balancing out and I know, it doesn't necessarily have too. But unless a player has disposable money, the average player is playing some pretty high stake risks.

One of things that has also been bothering me is the way my bank and I'm pretty sure others are doing the same, will want to know what I want to take x amount of money from my bank account for. Since when did it become their business what I use my money for? But this is a prelude to possibly stricter banking situations that will infringe on my/our personal freedoms.

First you never really needed a bank account, then you had to have one, only checks were used or you would get cash for things you wanted. Then comes along this debit card and the bank tells every account holder they "have" to have one. Now you have to present your debit card for any banking business you do at your bank. So what type of conditioning would you see this as?

So the concern comes down to the few times you do have a withdrawal and viola, $1000 is in your account and next thing you know, the bank will expect you to explain where it came from. Then expect you to explain how you paid for the original transaction. Do you feel possible penalty fees for illegal transactions looming on the horizon? I do, because I not only not trust the casinos, but I also don't trust our governing bodies and banks to allow us to have a little extra money in the bank and not have to account for it.

So with all this going on from both sides the Government and the Casinos/Software Providers, I can't feel the trust anymore. Yes this certainly does make quiting gambling online much easier and I can honestly say I am truly not missing it.

I know for many it is also difficult to decide to just quit, but we all have our times in our feelings when we know we can and it won't affect us anymore. Losing the trust completely is the one key trigger that I guess I needed.
Although I have my mom I care for 24-7, so can't go anywhere, I still always had my other interests all along as well, they just took a back seat to the gambling.

I'm sure anyone who thinks they may want to do the same thing as I and others have done, maybe just think of what you do when you are not playing online, or what you did before you discovered online gambling or even check out other things that can be learned or done online. That is the one great thing about the internet, there is so much more out there, things we never dreamed of watching, listening to, or playing at.

During my day time hours, we have DVD's we play since mom is up, I paint, I clean, do laundry and other things. In the evenings, I really enjoy Pogo's puzzle thing I purchased a few years ago that has one calendar month for pictures you can load and create your own puzzle. While I'm working the puzzles, I have the Hubby, Rob, find a show on the internet we like to listen to and I feel my day and my evening has been much more meaningful and relaxing. We enjoy Coast 2 Coast, The Edge with Daniel Ott and so many others. There is so many interesting things being discussed that one never tires of it.

So this ex pirate, ex grape, now a raisin, has realized a raisin last longer and tastes better than I remembered it had.

I would love to hear other posters ideas on what they do to get through their personal transition of quitting gambling online.