Thick glasses

[dazlazz]

Yo mamma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

Yo mamma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

 

[BingoT]

Three men were driving through the country when their truck broke down. It was bad weather and they had no place to go.
Of course the farmer came along and said they could spend the night with him under one condition. He had a son who had no ears and got very upset if anything was said about it.

Later that evening at dinner one of the men kept staring at the boy. The boy, getting upset, asks “What are you staring at?”

The man says, “Oh, it’s your teeth, your teeth are so pretty, and make sure you take care of them or they will end up just like mine!” and he takes his teeth out.

The second man kept staring and staring at the boy. The boy getting more upset asks the man “What are you staring at?”

“Oh,” the man says, “It’s your hair, you have the prettiest hair I have ever seen, and make sure you take care of it or it will end up just like mine!” and he takes his wig off.

The third man kept staring and staring and the boy was really irritated at this point and says, “What the hell are you staring at?”

“Oh,” the man says “It’s your eyes, you have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen and make sure you take care of them because you don’t have any ears to put glasses on.”

 

[dazlazz]

Yo mamma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Yo mamma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
Yo mamma so old her house is insured against fire, theft, and indian raids!
Yo mamma is so old...when Moses parted the Red Sea...She was out there fishing!

feeling silly today!!

 

[BingoT]

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[BingoT]

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[BingoT]

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[PokingStars]

I like the taxi one. Props for that!

 

[Seventh777]

Yo mamma so fat, when she was at school she sat next to...everyone.
Yo mamma so fat, last time she was sunbathing at the beach, they had to move her so the tide could come in.

 

[BingoT]

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[slotjunkie]

Yo' mama so fat, when she got stabbed with a big knife, she turned and said "who scratched me" :