- Joined
- Jun 5, 2006
- Location
- Edmonton Canada
Some of these made me laugh!
At the job interview:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a f*ck what you think."
Man goes to the doctor for a physical. Doctor says "You've got to stop masturbating so much." Man says "Why?" "Because I'm trying to give you a physical!"
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A pineapple.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper turns to him and asks, "You've got a drink named Steve?"
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
Why dies Ariel wear seashells? Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
In the dark movie theatre there was some heavy petting going on. The girl whispers "You have the biggest penis I have ever had my hands on." The guy says "You're pulling my leg."
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The bartender says, ”Is this some kind of joke?”
What's E.T. short for? He's got little legs.
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
The bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers here." Then a time traveler walks into the bar.
A woman is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. "Help, shark! Help!" he cries. The woman laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Two whales go into a bar. The first one says "Weeeeuuuuuoooooooooouuuuuuoooeeee." The other one says "Frank, you're drunk."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
A man with two left feet goes into a shoe store and asks, "Have you got any flip flips?"
At the job interview:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a f*ck what you think."
Man goes to the doctor for a physical. Doctor says "You've got to stop masturbating so much." Man says "Why?" "Because I'm trying to give you a physical!"
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A pineapple.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper turns to him and asks, "You've got a drink named Steve?"
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
Why dies Ariel wear seashells? Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
In the dark movie theatre there was some heavy petting going on. The girl whispers "You have the biggest penis I have ever had my hands on." The guy says "You're pulling my leg."
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The bartender says, ”Is this some kind of joke?”
What's E.T. short for? He's got little legs.
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
The bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers here." Then a time traveler walks into the bar.
A woman is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. "Help, shark! Help!" he cries. The woman laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Two whales go into a bar. The first one says "Weeeeuuuuuoooooooooouuuuuuoooeeee." The other one says "Frank, you're drunk."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
A man with two left feet goes into a shoe store and asks, "Have you got any flip flips?"
:
