M
MAD
Guest
[size=+2]WHERE DID MY PUSSY JOKES GO!! I'M GONNA FIND THIS GUY AND SHOVE A PUSSY UP HIS AsS!![/size]
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned
gas station. They approached one of the petrol pumps, and
one of them said to it, "Greetings, earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader."
The petrol pump, of course, didn't respond. The alien
repeated the greeting. There was no response. The alien,
annoyed by what he perceived to be the petrol pump's haughty
attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently,
"Earthling, how dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to
your leader or I will fire!"
The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you mustn't
anger him!" But before he finished his warning, the first
alien fired.
There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters
into the desert, where they landed in a heap. When they
finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to
the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It
nearly killed us! But how did you know he was so dangerous?"
The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned
during all my travels through the galaxy, it's that if a guy
has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick
into his own ear, don't mess with him!"
gas station. They approached one of the petrol pumps, and
one of them said to it, "Greetings, earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader."
The petrol pump, of course, didn't respond. The alien
repeated the greeting. There was no response. The alien,
annoyed by what he perceived to be the petrol pump's haughty
attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently,
"Earthling, how dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to
your leader or I will fire!"
The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you mustn't
anger him!" But before he finished his warning, the first
alien fired.
There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters
into the desert, where they landed in a heap. When they
finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to
the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It
nearly killed us! But how did you know he was so dangerous?"
The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned
during all my travels through the galaxy, it's that if a guy
has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick
into his own ear, don't mess with him!"
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
Two Canadians are sitting in a bar, and getting bored. They
decide to play 20 questions. The first Canadian tries to
think of a word and after a little pondering come up with
the word---moosecock.
The second Canadian tries his first question, "Is it
something good to eat?"
The first guy thinks a moment then laughs and replies,
"Sure, I suppose you could eat it."
The second Canadian says, "Is it a moosecock?"
hahahaha
decide to play 20 questions. The first Canadian tries to
think of a word and after a little pondering come up with
the word---moosecock.
The second Canadian tries his first question, "Is it
something good to eat?"
The first guy thinks a moment then laughs and replies,
"Sure, I suppose you could eat it."
The second Canadian says, "Is it a moosecock?"
hahahaha
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
Two gay guys live together. The first guy said, "Let's play
hide and seek. I'll hide, and if you find me I'll blow you."
The second guy asked, "What if I can't find you?"
The first replied, "I'll be behind the piano."
hahahaha
hide and seek. I'll hide, and if you find me I'll blow you."
The second guy asked, "What if I can't find you?"
The first replied, "I'll be behind the piano."
hahahaha
A
Anonymous
Guest
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she
sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red
Riding Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the
road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is
crouched behind a tree stump.
"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding
Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away. About 2 miles
down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again,
this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth
you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you
get lost?! I'm trying to take a [color=ff0000][/color]!"
sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red
Riding Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the
road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is
crouched behind a tree stump.
"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding
Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away. About 2 miles
down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again,
this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth
you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you
get lost?! I'm trying to take a [color=ff0000][/color]!"
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2001
An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would
be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."
be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
Ha ha ha.
~b
~b
C
Clarence
Guest
There is man sitting in a bar who is really, really drunk.
When the bar closes he gets up to go home. He stumbles and
falls couple of times and finally manages to get out of the
door.
As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He
stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the face.
The nun is shocked beyond belief, but before she could say
anything, he leans over and punches her again.
This time the nun hits the pavement. The drunk stumbles
over to her, kicks her in the butt, picks her up and throws
her against the wall. By now the nun is very weak and can
barely move. He leans over her, grabbing her by the collar
of her habit and says, "Not feeling too STRONG tonight,
ARE YOU, BATMAN!"
When the bar closes he gets up to go home. He stumbles and
falls couple of times and finally manages to get out of the
door.
As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He
stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the face.
The nun is shocked beyond belief, but before she could say
anything, he leans over and punches her again.
This time the nun hits the pavement. The drunk stumbles
over to her, kicks her in the butt, picks her up and throws
her against the wall. By now the nun is very weak and can
barely move. He leans over her, grabbing her by the collar
of her habit and says, "Not feeling too STRONG tonight,
ARE YOU, BATMAN!"
C
Clarence
Guest
A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof.
So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an
ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the
gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's
got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit
bull. "What are you going to do", the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm
going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof
with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the
pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.
The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him
in the cage in the back of the van."
So the guy puts the ladder up, gets the bat and the shot-
gun and walks towards the ladder. As he gets to the base of
the ladder, he hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!
So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an
ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the
gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's
got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit
bull. "What are you going to do", the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm
going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof
with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the
pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.
The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him
in the cage in the back of the van."
So the guy puts the ladder up, gets the bat and the shot-
gun and walks towards the ladder. As he gets to the base of
the ladder, he hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
ha ha ha
One morning the Pope awoke in his bedchamber in the
Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up
with a massive erection.; Perplexed, he called on his
personal physician.
"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the
Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 50
years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural
phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from
time to time". The Pope exclaimed "But you must do
something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this
thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options... either I can
administer an injection to your penis to make the problem
go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can
just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve
yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option.
Unbeknownst to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked
into the Vatican, and just as the Pope reaches that point
of no return, up pops the photographer and begins snapping
away.
The Pope immediately summons his security guards, who
arrest the photographer, and begin to beat him up. The
paparazzo shouts out, "Hey, I thought you were a Christian
organization! What has happened to your forgiveness?"
Upon reflection, the pope agrees with the photographer, and
relents, saying "Yes, my son, you are right, we shall
release you. Unfortunately, we cannot return your camera,
as we cannot allow the scandal of what is contained on the
film to be seen in the outside world."
Never slow to take an opportunity, the photographer
replies, "But this is how I make my living! If you take my
camera, I'll lose the money I could have sold the
photographs for!"
The Pope, feeling guilty, agrees. "Very well, we will
compensate you. How about $100,000?"
Ecstatic, the man agrees, and is soon on his way. The Pope,
meanwhile attends confession, and the whole story comes
out. For his penance, he is therefore ordered to walk three
times around St. Peter's, with the offending camera around
his neck.
Out on his walk, he meets a Japanese tourist:
"Ah, so, very nice Japanese camera you got there,
Mr. Pope," says the man, "how much you pay for it?"
"Being the Pope, I cannot tell a lie," he replies, "I must
confess that I paid $100,000 for it."
"Ah," says the Japanese gentleman, "look like someone saw
you coming!"
One morning the Pope awoke in his bedchamber in the
Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up
with a massive erection.; Perplexed, he called on his
personal physician.
"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the
Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 50
years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural
phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from
time to time". The Pope exclaimed "But you must do
something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this
thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options... either I can
administer an injection to your penis to make the problem
go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can
just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve
yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option.
Unbeknownst to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked
into the Vatican, and just as the Pope reaches that point
of no return, up pops the photographer and begins snapping
away.
The Pope immediately summons his security guards, who
arrest the photographer, and begin to beat him up. The
paparazzo shouts out, "Hey, I thought you were a Christian
organization! What has happened to your forgiveness?"
Upon reflection, the pope agrees with the photographer, and
relents, saying "Yes, my son, you are right, we shall
release you. Unfortunately, we cannot return your camera,
as we cannot allow the scandal of what is contained on the
film to be seen in the outside world."
Never slow to take an opportunity, the photographer
replies, "But this is how I make my living! If you take my
camera, I'll lose the money I could have sold the
photographs for!"
The Pope, feeling guilty, agrees. "Very well, we will
compensate you. How about $100,000?"
Ecstatic, the man agrees, and is soon on his way. The Pope,
meanwhile attends confession, and the whole story comes
out. For his penance, he is therefore ordered to walk three
times around St. Peter's, with the offending camera around
his neck.
Out on his walk, he meets a Japanese tourist:
"Ah, so, very nice Japanese camera you got there,
Mr. Pope," says the man, "how much you pay for it?"
"Being the Pope, I cannot tell a lie," he replies, "I must
confess that I paid $100,000 for it."
"Ah," says the Japanese gentleman, "look like someone saw
you coming!"
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
Out on the town one night, a young lad successfully chats up an
attractive female, and they go back to her place. "You can't
make any noise," she warns him. "My parents are upstairs and if
they find out they'll kill us!"
Things start getting heated on the sofa, but after a while
alcohol gets the better of the man's bladder. "I have to go,"
he says.
"Well you can't go upstairs, it's right next to my parents'
bedroom," she replies. "Use the kitchen sink".
So he dutifully retires to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he
pops his head round the door and asks, "Do you have any
toilet paper?"
attractive female, and they go back to her place. "You can't
make any noise," she warns him. "My parents are upstairs and if
they find out they'll kill us!"
Things start getting heated on the sofa, but after a while
alcohol gets the better of the man's bladder. "I have to go,"
he says.
"Well you can't go upstairs, it's right next to my parents'
bedroom," she replies. "Use the kitchen sink".
So he dutifully retires to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he
pops his head round the door and asks, "Do you have any
toilet paper?"
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
One day, a guy dies and finds himself in Hell. As he is
wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon.
Demon: "Why so glum, chum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in Hell."
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down
here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's
all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, bear, wine coolers;
we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great."
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars and cigarettes from around the world and smoke our
friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're
already dead!"
Guy: "Oh, man! This is too much!"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps,
blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow
poker table."
Guy: "Gosh, I never played pai gow before..."
Demon: "Well now you can. You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.
You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's
okay... you're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin'
place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: Oooh, you're gonna hate the weekends."
wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon.
Demon: "Why so glum, chum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in Hell."
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down
here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's
all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, bear, wine coolers;
we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great."
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars and cigarettes from around the world and smoke our
friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're
already dead!"
Guy: "Oh, man! This is too much!"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps,
blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow
poker table."
Guy: "Gosh, I never played pai gow before..."
Demon: "Well now you can. You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.
You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's
okay... you're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin'
place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: Oooh, you're gonna hate the weekends."
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2001
The Best Lay in Town
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was sweet!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.
Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad,... you're drunk!"
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was sweet!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.
Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad,... you're drunk!"
C
Clarence
Guest
Two military policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from the
base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent. He saw
a nun seated on a round bench beneath a tree, quietly reading a
book.
He said to her, "Quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be
drafted and the M.P.'s are chasing me!"
She lifted up her skirt and said, "Quick hide under here."
The two policemen came by and asked if she had seen anyone.
She replied, "No."
After they left she told the young man to come out and that
everything was going to be OK.
He thanked her and said, "You have a nice set of legs for a nun!"
She replied, "If you'd have reached up a little farther you'd
have found a nice set of balls too. I'm not going to be drafted
either!"
base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent. He saw
a nun seated on a round bench beneath a tree, quietly reading a
book.
He said to her, "Quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be
drafted and the M.P.'s are chasing me!"
She lifted up her skirt and said, "Quick hide under here."
The two policemen came by and asked if she had seen anyone.
She replied, "No."
After they left she told the young man to come out and that
everything was going to be OK.
He thanked her and said, "You have a nice set of legs for a nun!"
She replied, "If you'd have reached up a little farther you'd
have found a nice set of balls too. I'm not going to be drafted
either!"
C
Clarence
Guest
Okay, I'll try again......
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees
a patient acting like he's driving a car.
The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he
stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie,
how are you doing?"
Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago"
"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room
and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob
sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she
asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!"
Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in
Chicago!"
hardeeharhar!
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees
a patient acting like he's driving a car.
The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he
stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie,
how are you doing?"
Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago"
"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room
and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob
sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she
asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!"
Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in
Chicago!"
hardeeharhar!
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2001
This will warm your heart...just when you lost faith in human kindness:
Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.
This story is a credit to all human kind.
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School:
God blesses you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon.
I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged.
All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night-stand and broke into a lot of little pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said f**k you.
Life is good. Thank you.
Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.
This story is a credit to all human kind.
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School:
God blesses you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon.
I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged.
All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night-stand and broke into a lot of little pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said f**k you.
Life is good. Thank you.
A
Anonymous
Guest
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he went to see his doctor.
The doctor suggested that the man could solve his
problem by startling himself whenever he thought that he was going to ejaculate.
So, the man went directly to a sporting goods store and bought a starter pistol. Then he went home to try the doctor's advice.
When he got home, he found his wife waiting for him on their bed... naked! So he ripped off his clothes and began making love with her. Eventually, they wound up in the "69" position and then the man felt an enormous urge to ejaculate, so he cranked off a few shots with his new starter pistol.
They next day, he went back to the doctor and reported his results. He said, "It didn't work out for me, Doc! When I fired the pistol, my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
._________________
The doctor suggested that the man could solve his
problem by startling himself whenever he thought that he was going to ejaculate.
So, the man went directly to a sporting goods store and bought a starter pistol. Then he went home to try the doctor's advice.
When he got home, he found his wife waiting for him on their bed... naked! So he ripped off his clothes and began making love with her. Eventually, they wound up in the "69" position and then the man felt an enormous urge to ejaculate, so he cranked off a few shots with his new starter pistol.
They next day, he went back to the doctor and reported his results. He said, "It didn't work out for me, Doc! When I fired the pistol, my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
._________________
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
ha ha ha
That was disgusting!
ha!
That was disgusting!
ha!
A
Anonymous
Guest
TOP 10 SLOGANS BEING CONSIDERED BY VIAGRA
10. Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
3. Viagra, Tastes great!........., More filling!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
1. This is your penis.........This is your penis on drugs.
10. Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
3. Viagra, Tastes great!........., More filling!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
1. This is your penis.........This is your penis on drugs.
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2001
Subject: Stock Tip
This is very unusual for me. I'm not generally inclined to pass on unproven financial advice. But yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo
who told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm.
This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends and family that they consider buying stock in the company. The drug is called "Gingko Viagra," and its function is to help you remember what the f**k you're doing.
This is very unusual for me. I'm not generally inclined to pass on unproven financial advice. But yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo
who told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm.
This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends and family that they consider buying stock in the company. The drug is called "Gingko Viagra," and its function is to help you remember what the f**k you're doing.
S
steve
Guest
He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on.
I've got fifteen bucks."
She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll
let you LOOK at it."
They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets
down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too
dark, so he gets out his lighter.
He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair...
it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."
She says, "Thank you."
He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"
She says, "Go ahead."
He says, "Can you PEE through all that hair?"
She says, "Of course."
He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire."
I've got fifteen bucks."
She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll
let you LOOK at it."
They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets
down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too
dark, so he gets out his lighter.
He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair...
it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."
She says, "Thank you."
He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"
She says, "Go ahead."
He says, "Can you PEE through all that hair?"
She says, "Of course."
He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire."
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2001
If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I'd make my boss's life a living hell for a week or two first
More jokes at:
Oleg, webmaster
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Oleg, webmaster
G
gamester
Guest
"Top Ten Times in History when using the word 'F-l-uck' was appropriate"
10) "What the [color=ff0000][/color] was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
9) "Where did all these [color=ff0000][/color] Indians come from?" - Custer
8) "Any [color=ff0000][/color] idiot could understand that." - Einstein
7) "It does SO [color=ff0000][/color] look like her!" - Picasso
6) "How the [color=ff0000][/color] did you work that out?" - Pythagoras
5) "You want WHAT on the [color=ff0000][/color] ceiling?" - Michelangelo
4) "I don't suppose it's gonna [color=ff0000][/color] rain." - Joan of Arc
3) "Scattered [color=ff0000][/color] showers...my ass!" - Noah
2) "I need this parade like I need a [color=ff0000][/color] hole in my head!" - JFK
1) "Aw, c'mon, who the [color=ff0000][/color] is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton
10) "What the [color=ff0000][/color] was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
9) "Where did all these [color=ff0000][/color] Indians come from?" - Custer
8) "Any [color=ff0000][/color] idiot could understand that." - Einstein
7) "It does SO [color=ff0000][/color] look like her!" - Picasso
6) "How the [color=ff0000][/color] did you work that out?" - Pythagoras
5) "You want WHAT on the [color=ff0000][/color] ceiling?" - Michelangelo
4) "I don't suppose it's gonna [color=ff0000][/color] rain." - Joan of Arc
3) "Scattered [color=ff0000][/color] showers...my ass!" - Noah
2) "I need this parade like I need a [color=ff0000][/color] hole in my head!" - JFK
1) "Aw, c'mon, who the [color=ff0000][/color] is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
Ha ha!
That was fuckin' funny!
~b
That was fuckin' funny!
~b
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