- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Location
- Old bag lady with a laptop
Roulette
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A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"
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Simple Home Remedies:
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1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat
by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins.
remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives.
then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape.
if it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40.
if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought for The Day:
------------------------------
some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but
they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
-------------------
A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Simple Home Remedies:
-----------------------------
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat
by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins.
remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives.
then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape.
if it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40.
if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought for The Day:
------------------------------
some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but
they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
