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9 Things I Hate About Everyone

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Jun 10, 2003
Location
Mass
9 Things I Hate About Everyone



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?




2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.




3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?




4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!




5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.




6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?





7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.




8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?




9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
 
9 Things I Hate About Everyone



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?




2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.




3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?




4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!




5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.




6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?





7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.




8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?




9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
:lolup: you said it all !!!! always wondered, why its usually the man that goes spastic over the remote and god help us if he has to get out of the recliner to look for it too when most of the time its right under his own ass:lolup::lolup:atleast in my home thats how it goes!!
 
Reminds me of the comic Bill Engvall's line..."Here's your stupid sign"
I locked my keys in my car and I was using a hanger to try to unlock the door. Someone comes up and says..."What did you do, lock your keys in the car?" I said 'Nope. I just washed my car and I was gonna hang it out to dry" Here's your stupid sign!
 
Very funny....Billy Connolly Has More..

The whole script is taken from a Billy Connolly routine and the complete list includes:


10.
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'.
So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?

11.
When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?'
No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12.
People who announce they are going to the toilet.
Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need.

13.
McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering...
It has to be a McChicken Burger, NOT just a Chicken Burger: you get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you Mcf*cking McTosser.

14.
When youre involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?'
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

Looks like a Yank's stolen it and is using it in his routines.

Funny all the same.
 
billy connolly, is he that "evil scotsman" singer? and/or is he the crazy killer guy with six guns in his vest in "boondock saints"?

"mctosser"...classic.
 
Billy Connolly

He's the bearded scotsman, who comedy stand up routine is just observing life and swearing A LOT.

He's a very funny man.

And yes he does sing, his version of D-I-V-O-R-C-E, is the funniest thing I have ever heard. Get your ass over to your P2P and download it now!
 

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