Where it can all lead

dieptepunt

Registered
Joined
Apr 17, 2021
Location
amsterdam
Hello all,

First of all, I understand that this is not just any forum post and may also violate the forum's rules, which I am sorry, but that is not my main concern at the moment. I have been a member of Casinomeister for over ten years, but I still chose to do this on a new account. :( For 15 years I have been struggling with myself and my addictions. 15 years of personal and financial trial and error. I have already been treated several times, have already had 2 intakes at different agencies this year and have been told twice that they actually can't help me. In summary, I fall into several 'boxes' at the same time, namely: addictions, depression and suicidality. bit completely lost.
This post stems from sheer desperation, but the alternative if I wouldn't is a boundary that, like this post, I don't want to cross, but will cross if necessary. I have been a danger to myself for years, a great concern for family and friends and almost certainly convinced that it would be the best for me and the people who worry about me when I am gone. Because that is also the morbid thing for me when I am gambling and I myself had access to my salary and I blew it through in 1 evening / night, I can always put an end to it. As a result, I now go through life as a kamikaze pilot. That way of thinking is already baked into my system, but I am still alive, but all the stretch that was about in me has gone. No more work (benefit), problematic debts, and since this year in administration, which I really do not want and makes deeply unhappy, but this was the only option was to be able to solve a few things financially in the future. I have a living money bank account with which I can only receive money from the administration and cannot make online transactions.

Let me say that I have hit the biggest low point in my life yet.

I didn't intend to make it such a long story, but now come to what I wanted to give at least a chance. Because I have so much frustration and anger in me, I have reached the point where it has been in my head for a number of days that I have to commit robbery. Of course a border that I do not want to cross, but I am so far gone. I also only need $ 60, but that's so important to me now for a number of things (not to gamble, I'll just add it) that I am willing to do extreme things for it.

If I had had other options than the call in this post, I would have tried them first, but there are none.

<snipped content>


I don't want to say that I find it a hopeless message myself, at least I have tried it. There will still be quite a few people, with a good or bad heart, who can help a stranger in an emergency situation (that's what it is for me). I used google translate to translate this piece of text, that will probably give some grammatical errors.

I understand that there will be reactions to this that do not directly relate to my question, positive or negative, but I will not go into that at first.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sorry to hear about your woes and the serious issues that you have. You really need to reach out to one of the professional help centers - some of which can be found here:
You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.


You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.


I would highly recommend contacting them RIGHT NOW. And please don't ask for money from people, especially in this forum since this will cause you to start sliding on a slippery slope. Seriously, please use those links or Google "need help for gambling problems" in your native language.
 
Hello all,

First of all, I understand that this is not just any forum post and may also violate the forum's rules, which I am sorry, but that is not my main concern at the moment. I have been a member of Casinomeister for over ten years, but I still chose to do this on a new account. :( For 15 years I have been struggling with myself and my addictions. 15 years of personal and financial trial and error. I have already been treated several times, have already had 2 intakes at different agencies this year and have been told twice that they actually can't help me. In summary, I fall into several 'boxes' at the same time, namely: addictions, depression and suicidality. bit completely lost.
This post stems from sheer desperation, but the alternative if I wouldn't is a boundary that, like this post, I don't want to cross, but will cross if necessary. I have been a danger to myself for years, a great concern for family and friends and almost certainly convinced that it would be the best for me and the people who worry about me when I am gone. Because that is also the morbid thing for me when I am gambling and I myself had access to my salary and I blew it through in 1 evening / night, I can always put an end to it. As a result, I now go through life as a kamikaze pilot. That way of thinking is already baked into my system, but I am still alive, but all the stretch that was about in me has gone. No more work (benefit), problematic debts, and since this year in administration, which I really do not want and makes deeply unhappy, but this was the only option was to be able to solve a few things financially in the future. I have a living money bank account with which I can only receive money from the administration and cannot make online transactions.

Let me say that I have hit the biggest low point in my life yet.

I didn't intend to make it such a long story, but now come to what I wanted to give at least a chance. Because I have so much frustration and anger in me, I have reached the point where it has been in my head for a number of days that I have to commit robbery. Of course a border that I do not want to cross, but I am so far gone. I also only need $ 60, but that's so important to me now for a number of things (not to gamble, I'll just add it) that I am willing to do extreme things for it.

If I had had other options than the call in this post, I would have tried them first, but there are none.

<snipped content>


I don't want to say that I find it a hopeless message myself, at least I have tried it. There will still be quite a few people, with a good or bad heart, who can help a stranger in an emergency situation (that's what it is for me). I used google translate to translate this piece of text, that will probably give some grammatical errors.

I understand that there will be reactions to this that do not directly relate to my question, positive or negative, but I will not go into that at first.

You have anger and frustration becouse :
gambling addiction goed so far that you cant gontrol your money or life ( administration )..

1 : You need help , it can take many months to get it. But you will get help to gambling problem and other thinks.. ( contact your administration , maybe they help to get it.

2 : You need to do extreme things in your head about frustration and anger. ( You need to give up gambling , and try to get life back.. It will not be the same , but in 2-5 years you are anger free..

I hope that you will try it.. If help doesent work , say it !! Then you will get another help route..

I tell my story.. first time.


My life was insane 2016-2017 .

My wife had cancer and i needed to take care of my 4 years old child and wife.. But it ended to drink a lot and gamble a lot..

End of 2017 : I goed to mental health care, and sayed that i have depression and gambling problem. Also i wanted to go somekind of rehab ..

My gambling nurse 4 months sayed that wait a little about going in to rehab.. She cheat me becouse i wasnt ready..?

Finally i goed to treatment facility and signed 28 days treatment contract.. i thinked that 28 days and i am new again..

After 14 days i understand suddenly that i cant go home, i am not ready. I asked more time and get it.

I was there first 8 weeks and then home 1 week , then goed back for 3 weeks , then 2 weeks home and back for 1 week..

After 1.5 years i was there 156 days.. Now i am controling my self , i think life in another way.. I dont drink anymore .. I am gambling still but lower stakes ( i still every time remember what my life was ) it needs to be entertainment.. I also give time to my kids and wife..

But it was all still in my hands , nobody cant say stop gambling.. you need to do it self !!..

And yes my wife is in good health..

Add more : I think in treatment facility that how cold person i am , i dint give a shit what happens in home.. In the end i understand it. I was there to help my self !! After treatment i am better dad and husband..
 
Last edited:
You have anger and frustration becouse :
gambling addiction goed so far that you cant gontrol your money or life ( administration )..

1 : You need help , it can take many months to get it. But you will get help to gambling problem and other thinks.. ( contact your administration , maybe they help to get it.

2 : You need to do extreme things in your head about frustration and anger. ( You need to give up gambling , and try to get life back.. It will not be the same , but in 2-5 years you are anger free..

I hope that you will try it.. If help doesent work , say it !! Then you will get another help route..

I tell my story.. first time.


My life was insane 2016-2017 .

My wife had cancer and i needed to take care of my 4 years old child and wife.. But it ended to drink a lot and gamble a lot..

End of 2017 : I goed to mental health care, and sayed that i have depression and gambling problem. Also i wanted to go somekind of rehab ..

My gambling nurse 4 months sayed that wait a little about going in to rehab.. She cheat me becouse i wasnt ready..?

Finally i goed to treatment facility and signed 28 days treatment contract.. i thinked that 28 days and i am new again..

After 14 days i understand suddenly that i cant go home, i am not ready. I asked more time and get it.

I was there first 8 weeks and then home 1 week , then goed back for 3 weeks , then 2 weeks home and back for 1 week..

After 1.5 years i was there 156 days.. Now i am controling my self , i think life in another way.. I dont drink anymore .. I am gambling still but lower stakes ( i still every time remember what my life was ) it needs to be entertainment.. I also give time to my kids and wife..

But it was all still in my hands , nobody cant say stop gambling.. you need to do it self !!..

And yes my wife is in good health..

Add more : I think in treatment facility that how cold person i am , i dint give a shit what happens in home.. In the end i understand it. I was there to help my self !! After treatment i was better dad and husband..
Bravo to you and its good to hear that your wife is now in good health :thumbsup:
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Meister Ratings

Back
Top