Where it can all lead

dieptepunt

Registered
Joined
Apr 17, 2021
Location
amsterdam
Hello all,

First of all, I understand that this is not just any forum post and may also violate the forum's rules, which I am sorry, but that is not my main concern at the moment. I have been a member of Casinomeister for over ten years, but I still chose to do this on a new account. :( For 15 years I have been struggling with myself and my addictions. 15 years of personal and financial trial and error. I have already been treated several times, have already had 2 intakes at different agencies this year and have been told twice that they actually can't help me. In summary, I fall into several 'boxes' at the same time, namely: addictions, depression and suicidality. bit completely lost.
This post stems from sheer desperation, but the alternative if I wouldn't is a boundary that, like this post, I don't want to cross, but will cross if necessary. I have been a danger to myself for years, a great concern for family and friends and almost certainly convinced that it would be the best for me and the people who worry about me when I am gone. Because that is also the morbid thing for me when I am gambling and I myself had access to my salary and I blew it through in 1 evening / night, I can always put an end to it. As a result, I now go through life as a kamikaze pilot. That way of thinking is already baked into my system, but I am still alive, but all the stretch that was about in me has gone. No more work (benefit), problematic debts, and since this year in administration, which I really do not want and makes deeply unhappy, but this was the only option was to be able to solve a few things financially in the future. I have a living money bank account with which I can only receive money from the administration and cannot make online transactions.

Let me say that I have hit the biggest low point in my life yet.

I didn't intend to make it such a long story, but now come to what I wanted to give at least a chance. Because I have so much frustration and anger in me, I have reached the point where it has been in my head for a number of days that I have to commit robbery. Of course a border that I do not want to cross, but I am so far gone. I also only need $ 60, but that's so important to me now for a number of things (not to gamble, I'll just add it) that I am willing to do extreme things for it.

If I had had other options than the call in this post, I would have tried them first, but there are none.

<snipped content>


I don't want to say that I find it a hopeless message myself, at least I have tried it. There will still be quite a few people, with a good or bad heart, who can help a stranger in an emergency situation (that's what it is for me). I used google translate to translate this piece of text, that will probably give some grammatical errors.

I understand that there will be reactions to this that do not directly relate to my question, positive or negative, but I will not go into that at first.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Casinomeister

Forum Cheermeister
Staff member
Joined
Jun 30, 1998
Location
Bierland
Sorry to hear about your woes and the serious issues that you have. You really need to reach out to one of the professional help centers - some of which can be found here:
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You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.


I would highly recommend contacting them RIGHT NOW. And please don't ask for money from people, especially in this forum since this will cause you to start sliding on a slippery slope. Seriously, please use those links or Google "need help for gambling problems" in your native language.
 

miksaxxx

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Location
Finland
Hello all,

First of all, I understand that this is not just any forum post and may also violate the forum's rules, which I am sorry, but that is not my main concern at the moment. I have been a member of Casinomeister for over ten years, but I still chose to do this on a new account. :( For 15 years I have been struggling with myself and my addictions. 15 years of personal and financial trial and error. I have already been treated several times, have already had 2 intakes at different agencies this year and have been told twice that they actually can't help me. In summary, I fall into several 'boxes' at the same time, namely: addictions, depression and suicidality. bit completely lost.
This post stems from sheer desperation, but the alternative if I wouldn't is a boundary that, like this post, I don't want to cross, but will cross if necessary. I have been a danger to myself for years, a great concern for family and friends and almost certainly convinced that it would be the best for me and the people who worry about me when I am gone. Because that is also the morbid thing for me when I am gambling and I myself had access to my salary and I blew it through in 1 evening / night, I can always put an end to it. As a result, I now go through life as a kamikaze pilot. That way of thinking is already baked into my system, but I am still alive, but all the stretch that was about in me has gone. No more work (benefit), problematic debts, and since this year in administration, which I really do not want and makes deeply unhappy, but this was the only option was to be able to solve a few things financially in the future. I have a living money bank account with which I can only receive money from the administration and cannot make online transactions.

Let me say that I have hit the biggest low point in my life yet.

I didn't intend to make it such a long story, but now come to what I wanted to give at least a chance. Because I have so much frustration and anger in me, I have reached the point where it has been in my head for a number of days that I have to commit robbery. Of course a border that I do not want to cross, but I am so far gone. I also only need $ 60, but that's so important to me now for a number of things (not to gamble, I'll just add it) that I am willing to do extreme things for it.

If I had had other options than the call in this post, I would have tried them first, but there are none.

<snipped content>


I don't want to say that I find it a hopeless message myself, at least I have tried it. There will still be quite a few people, with a good or bad heart, who can help a stranger in an emergency situation (that's what it is for me). I used google translate to translate this piece of text, that will probably give some grammatical errors.

I understand that there will be reactions to this that do not directly relate to my question, positive or negative, but I will not go into that at first.

You have anger and frustration becouse :
gambling addiction goed so far that you cant gontrol your money or life ( administration )..

1 : You need help , it can take many months to get it. But you will get help to gambling problem and other thinks.. ( contact your administration , maybe they help to get it.

2 : You need to do extreme things in your head about frustration and anger. ( You need to give up gambling , and try to get life back.. It will not be the same , but in 2-5 years you are anger free..

I hope that you will try it.. If help doesent work , say it !! Then you will get another help route..

I tell my story.. first time.


My life was insane 2016-2017 .

My wife had cancer and i needed to take care of my 4 years old child and wife.. But it ended to drink a lot and gamble a lot..

End of 2017 : I goed to mental health care, and sayed that i have depression and gambling problem. Also i wanted to go somekind of rehab ..

My gambling nurse 4 months sayed that wait a little about going in to rehab.. She cheat me becouse i wasnt ready..😉

Finally i goed to treatment facility and signed 28 days treatment contract.. i thinked that 28 days and i am new again..

After 14 days i understand suddenly that i cant go home, i am not ready. I asked more time and get it.

I was there first 8 weeks and then home 1 week , then goed back for 3 weeks , then 2 weeks home and back for 1 week..

After 1.5 years i was there 156 days.. Now i am controling my self , i think life in another way.. I dont drink anymore .. I am gambling still but lower stakes ( i still every time remember what my life was ) it needs to be entertainment.. I also give time to my kids and wife..

But it was all still in my hands , nobody cant say stop gambling.. you need to do it self !!..

And yes my wife is in good health..

Add more : I think in treatment facility that how cold person i am , i dint give a shit what happens in home.. In the end i understand it. I was there to help my self !! After treatment i am better dad and husband..
 
Last edited:

geordiecolin

Meister Member
PABnononaccred
CAG
mm4
Joined
Jun 5, 2015
Location
Near Newcastle
You have anger and frustration becouse :
gambling addiction goed so far that you cant gontrol your money or life ( administration )..

1 : You need help , it can take many months to get it. But you will get help to gambling problem and other thinks.. ( contact your administration , maybe they help to get it.

2 : You need to do extreme things in your head about frustration and anger. ( You need to give up gambling , and try to get life back.. It will not be the same , but in 2-5 years you are anger free..

I hope that you will try it.. If help doesent work , say it !! Then you will get another help route..

I tell my story.. first time.


My life was insane 2016-2017 .

My wife had cancer and i needed to take care of my 4 years old child and wife.. But it ended to drink a lot and gamble a lot..

End of 2017 : I goed to mental health care, and sayed that i have depression and gambling problem. Also i wanted to go somekind of rehab ..

My gambling nurse 4 months sayed that wait a little about going in to rehab.. She cheat me becouse i wasnt ready..😉

Finally i goed to treatment facility and signed 28 days treatment contract.. i thinked that 28 days and i am new again..

After 14 days i understand suddenly that i cant go home, i am not ready. I asked more time and get it.

I was there first 8 weeks and then home 1 week , then goed back for 3 weeks , then 2 weeks home and back for 1 week..

After 1.5 years i was there 156 days.. Now i am controling my self , i think life in another way.. I dont drink anymore .. I am gambling still but lower stakes ( i still every time remember what my life was ) it needs to be entertainment.. I also give time to my kids and wife..

But it was all still in my hands , nobody cant say stop gambling.. you need to do it self !!..

And yes my wife is in good health..

Add more : I think in treatment facility that how cold person i am , i dint give a shit what happens in home.. In the end i understand it. I was there to help my self !! After treatment i was better dad and husband..
Bravo to you and its good to hear that your wife is now in good health :thumbsup:
 
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