When the fun stops

[Ellez9556]

i would like to share part of my story with you all as I don’t think some people realise how damaging gambling can be.
It all started for me 3 years ago. I had poisoned by carbon monoxide at the time ( chances of that!) I do believe this had an impact on me mentally as I would honestly be the last person people would think would have a gambling problem.
A couple of good wins to start and then spent the next 3 years chasing my loses. I only wanted to ever get back to square one.....
It quickly took over my life. I try so many times to stop and would self exclude but it would be as easy as using my maiden name to resign up and back to square one I would be.
I am half the person I was then and spend my whole life now destroyed by the guilt of the money I lost and constantly thinking of ways to get back to square one. It all came to a head not too long ago and I had enough of being me and not being able to let the demons out of my head and i shamefully tried to end it all, luckily my family found me and I am trying to rebuild my life but I won’t lie ever day is a struggle.
I do believe this addiction is worse than drugs as you don’t have to leave the house and I do feel a lot of sites fail to protect people like myself and I can only hope on day they look at their practices and see how they can do more.
So the next time you see a message on here from a problem gambler try not to be so judgemental and make comments like “another se” gambler.
I can assure you they are suffering more than you know.
I am taking each day as it comes and just praying for the day I can have all my finances in order and can stop feeling the guilt of who I become.
There are some sites that do a really good job I can assure and others than hide behind the fact they stick to the guidelines if only just.
If any online reps here want to contact me directly to see if their sites are one of the ones I feel fail I would be happy to share my expierence if it helps them tighten up their processes.
My gambling debt is approx £4K not a huge sum to some and certainly nowhere near some I have seen but it is not about the value it is about not being able to fully start recovery whist that is there in the background

 

[snorky510238]

I know you probably feel like you are in a bad place right now but you are 35 years old with a huge chunk of life ahead of you. The positive thing to come from this is you have realised you have a problem and confronted it. 4K is a lot of money but you still nipped it in the bud early. It may not seem like it’s possible now but in a few months/years you will feel much better. Don’t be harsh on yourself we are all human and we all make mistakes. The thing is you admit to having a problem and that is the biggest step now you can move forward. Wish you well.

 

[Ellez9556]

I know you probably feel like you are in a bad place right now but you are 35 years old with a huge chunk of life ahead of you. The positive thing to come from this is you have realised you have a problem and confronted it. 4K is a lot of money but you still nipped it in the bud early. It may not seem like it’s possible now but in a few months/years you will feel much better. Don’t be harsh on yourself we are all human and we all make mistakes. The thing is you admit to having a problem and that is the biggest step now you can move forward. Wish you well.

Thank you for your kind words and I really hope you are right x

 

[snorky510238]

Thank you for your kind words and I really hope you are right x

Trust me I have met many people in this situation and it’s like you have blinkers on. Every thought you have is about the debt and yourself. The point is I don’t know who you are in debt with but whoever it is get in touch with them explain your situation and offer them a repayment plan. They would rather get what you can afford once a month than nothing.

 

[ed skull murphy]

Trust me I have met many people in this situation and it’s like you have blinkers on. Every thought you have is about the debt and yourself. The point is I don’t know who you are in debt with but whoever it is get in touch with them explain your situation and offer them a repayment plan. They would rather get what you can afford once a month than nothing.

Offer them £10 per week for as long as it takes, tell them that it is all you can afford, but you will pay it off in full at the earliest opportunity.

If it is credit card debt, then it is only FIAT currency, not hard currency, so there is no need to feel guilty about it.

Try to write it by hand and address it to the appropriate man or woman (you need a name), keep a copy for yourself and send it off by registered post.

If you get no reply, then you have something to back you up if they try to put the screws on you. You made a 'best offer' and the man you addressed it to, dishonourably ignored your letter.

If he comes back with a counter offer, you must stand fast to your original offer, because that was the best you could do (otherwise you are then in dishonour).

Common law.

 

[mack341]

The page below on money saving expert provides some info, same as ed's advice really, the administration order is something I didn't know about but you have to pay a 10% handling fee to the court, a solution for some people with a county/high court order against them.

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edit: Just to add, I have lost about 12-15 k myself in the last 3 years of playing slots at minimum stakes, atm I am trying to take a break from slots for at least 1 month and see how I get on; since about february I've been digging a bigger hole for myself [chasing losses and getting terrible luck mostly] than a jcb could achieve.

 

[ed skull murphy]

The page below on money saving expert provides some info, same as ed's advice really, the administration order is something I didn't know about but you have to pay a 10% handling fee to the court, a solution for some people with a county/high court order against them.

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Yeah, it's similar, but if you deal directly with the creditor, in the private, you can cut all the legal BS and associated costs.

It is just a matter of writing an honest letter, but keep it short and sweet. Three lines max, he doesn't need to know your life story, he just wants to know what you can do for him.

Obviously, if you are not confident in going it alone, it might be safer to engage one of these debt consolidation agencies.

But in either scenario, you must keep up the payments, the difference between the two is that by going the common law route, it should have no impact on your credit rating, whereas the legal route will probably lower your credit rating... if that is important to you, it isn't to me because I don't use any credit facilities.