Throwing My Hat in the Ring

[dionysus]

TL;DR : Trying my hand at something new (writing music)

So. My life has been a shit-show last while (short story, homeless, I lost everything but for a bag of clothes and the dog - not drugs or gambling - just...life). Story for another thread.

I wanted to spin everything awful into something productive or or least therapeutic (always look at the bright side, yanno? I'm an eternal optimist) so tried writing some lyrics for songs.
In time, I'll try to sing some of these. Not today.

But I figured, no harm in the trying and going to pop a couple into some song-writing contests I came upon. It's my first go at anything like this. It's a learning curve.

Can you check the songs if you don't mind? No good without constructive feedback/criticism. Don't mind the audio-free vids - it's a process - it's there for me to work on the music in my head.

If you think one is worthy of entering, appreciate it. (if I straight up suck at this, that's ok too ).

Thanks all.

ps I was leaning toward entering 'Two' or 'Back-Up Plan' (maybe 40 Shots) but I've received feedback from people on 'Atlas' as readily singable and a couple people have been playing around with it to sing it. Dunno.
Thanks again.

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[geordiecolin]

TL;DR : Trying my hand at something new (writing music)

So. My life has been a shit-show last while (short story, homeless, I lost everything but for a bag of clothes and the dog - not drugs or gambling - just...life). Story for another thread.

I wanted to spin everything awful into something productive or or least therapeutic (always look at the bright side, yanno? I'm an eternal optimist) so tried writing some lyrics for songs.
In time, I'll try to sing some of these. Not today.

But I figured, no harm in the trying and going to pop a couple into some song-writing contests I came upon. It's my first go at anything like this. It's a learning curve.

Can you check the songs if you don't mind? No good without constructive feedback/criticism. Don't mind the audio-free vids - it's a process - it's there for me to work on the music in my head.

If you think one is worthy of entering, appreciate it. (if I straight up suck at this, that's ok too ).

Thanks all.

ps I was leaning toward entering 'Two' or 'Back-Up Plan' (maybe 40 Shots) but I've received feedback from people on 'Atlas' as readily singable and a couple people have been playing around with it to sing it. Dunno.
Thanks again.

Link: >

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

I hope and trust that your back on your feet very soon Baccus mate.
I think that there is a lot of merit in this one. It is quite raw and may well find an audience with the young and students.
Keep it going and good luck.
Lost
______

I'm lost.
And I just need to be found.
I'm lost.
Ambling ' round some strange new town.
So fucking lost.
Wand'ring 'round some unknown ground.
..
I'm trying hard to navigate.
A town so full of bile and hate.
It fucks my head so bad of late.
Did I pass through some demon gate?
..
Don't recognize this world I see.
Don't' understand the shit I see.
All the bad out on the street.
Some kind of evil meet and greet.
..
I'm lost.
And I just need to be found.
I'm lost.
Ambling ' round some strange new town.
So fucking lost
Wand'ring 'round some unknown ground
..
I had to walk a quarter mile.
Before I crossed a man who smiled.
And I could smell that hate and bile.
With both his fists clenched all the while.
..
And though he smiled his teeth were bared
I nodded once his nostrils flared.
i nodded twice I doubt he cared.
A bull on legs both mad and scared.
..
I dared to look into his eyes
And something caught me by surprise
The man was just about my size
Made bigger by that ire inside
..
And then it hit me like a brick.
He wasn't just some random prick.
I understood what made him tick.
My stomach turned and I felt sick.
..
We're lost.
And we just need to be found.
We're lost.
Ambling ' round some strange new town.
So fucking lost
Wand'ring 'round some unknown ground

All of us are lost

 

[johnnymcc1966]

Good luck with it. I started playing Guitar about 5 years ago,in my early 50s after procrastinating about it since I was a teenager. I am only a bedroom type player but music is so good for your mental and physical health. I also dabble in self taught keyboard playing too. I love it. I dont know how I'd cope without it.
From purely a personal point of view I'd say the music is much more important than the lyrics myself but thats only my view.

 

[dunover]

Great to see you back my friend!

Gritty but very angsty, not bad!

 

[justdoit]

keep it m8 dont give up

 

[SlamRoyale]

Its not bad, not my taste, but you only need to care about your audience, which will understand the lyrics more culturally, in which case I think its pretty good, just need more and more til you find something that hits you yourself and hits others.

Keep Ambling around

 

[dionysus]

I hope and trust that your back on your feet very soon Baccus mate.
I think that there is a lot of merit in this one. It is quite raw and may well find an audience with the young and students.
Keep it going and good luck.
Lost
______

I'm lost.
And I just need to be found.
I'm lost.
Ambling ' round some strange new town.
So fucking lost.
Wand'ring 'round some unknown ground.
..
I'm trying hard to navigate.
A town so full of bile and hate.
It fucks my head so bad of late.
Did I pass through some demon gate?
..
Don't recognize this world I see.
Don't' understand the shit I see.
All the bad out on the street.
Some kind of evil meet and greet.
..
I'm lost.
And I just need to be found.
I'm lost.
Ambling ' round some strange new town.
So fucking lost
Wand'ring 'round some unknown ground
..
I had to walk a quarter mile.
Before I crossed a man who smiled.
And I could smell that hate and bile.
With both his fists clenched all the while.
..
And though he smiled his teeth were bared
I nodded once his nostrils flared.
i nodded twice I doubt he cared.
A bull on legs both mad and scared.
..
I dared to look into his eyes
And something caught me by surprise
The man was just about my size
Made bigger by that ire inside
..
And then it hit me like a brick.
He wasn't just some random prick.
I understood what made him tick.
My stomach turned and I felt sick.
..
We're lost.
And we just need to be found.
We're lost.
Ambling ' round some strange new town.
So fucking lost
Wand'ring 'round some unknown ground

All of us are lost

put 'er to music

 

[geordiecolin]

One of my daughter gave it a listen and she really liked it. Maybe you could push it onto record companies as yourself as an artist or for them to use? I have no idea how that industry works but I suspect that you have to be either totally spectacular or have family in the industry or both to even get a list.
It is worth pushing

 

[dionysus]

One of my daughter gave it a listen and she really liked it. Maybe you could push it onto record companies as yourself as an artist or for them to use? I have no idea how that industry works but I suspect that you have to be either totally spectacular or have family in the industry or both to even get a list.
It is worth pushing

I know someone has a studio, so down the road, we'll see where that leads (recording, vids) - for now, just seeing if there's any interest and see if I have any talent at this.
Who know..in time? Pop one in spotify and see how it fares.
For now, baby steps, try some songwriting comps.
Thank the kidlet for me. The stuff on my page (youtube) probably skews to a younger gen (indie pop kind of stuff) if she wants to check it out
you tube (link) >

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[geordiecolin]

I know someone has a studio, so down the road, we'll see where that leads (recording, vids) - for now, just seeing if there's any interest and see if I have any talent at this.
Who know..in time? Pop one in spotify and see how it fares.
For now, baby steps, try some songwriting comps.
Thank the kidlet for me. The stuff on my page (youtube) probably skews to a younger gen (indie pop kind of stuff) if she wants to check it out
you tube (link) >

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

It sounds great. One of my daughters listened to it with me and liked it. She said it was really good and was impressed with the guitar work.