- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Location
- Old bag lady with a laptop
Thermometer Tester
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On your way home from work, stop at a pharmacy and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure to get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, close the blinds and take the phone off the hook so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement....
"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am soooo glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."
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Computer Women
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A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do,FOREVER.!!!
B... WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do anything right, but you can't live without her.
C... EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.
D... SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!
E... INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running.!!!
F... SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.
G... MULTIMEDIA Woman: She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.
H... CD-ROM Woman: She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!
I... E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.
J... VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE";
when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don't try to
uninstall her, you will still have nothing.
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Monday, Monday.....................
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On your way home from work, stop at a pharmacy and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure to get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, close the blinds and take the phone off the hook so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement....
"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am soooo glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------
Computer Women
-------------------------
A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do,FOREVER.!!!
B... WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do anything right, but you can't live without her.
C... EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.
D... SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!
E... INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running.!!!
F... SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.
G... MULTIMEDIA Woman: She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.
H... CD-ROM Woman: She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!
I... E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.
J... VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE";
when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don't try to
uninstall her, you will still have nothing.
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Monday, Monday.....................
