pobeda
account suspended
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2008
- Location
- San Diego, CA
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YOU HAVE TO read the reviews. made my day
))))
YOU HAVE TO read the reviews. made my day
))))
The best product of amazon
- Thread starter pobeda
- Start date
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Location
- Cyprus
LOVED IT!!!!
I'm going to buy one for myself - I too am not allowed to use knives or guns
I'm going to buy one for myself - I too am not allowed to use knives or guns
- Joined
- May 22, 2012
Hysterical.......
Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using - it works much better.Ordering one for my nephew who's in the air force in California. He's been using an old slinky to slice his banana's. He should really enjoy this product!
By
J. Anderson - See all my reviews
I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.
Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using - it works much better.Ordering one for my nephew who's in the air force in California. He's been using an old slinky to slice his banana's. He should really enjoy this product!
By
J. Anderson - See all my reviews
I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2009
- Location
- Sweden
This might be something I could carry in my handbag for protection when out late at night.
It seems better than a knife
It seems better than a knife
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1998
- Location
- Bierland
I'm in tears laughing so hard. 
- Joined
- May 22, 2012
I tell you, finally somebody has manufactured something even more worthless than a Rushmore bonus......
pobeda
account suspended
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2008
- Location
- San Diego, CA
I tell you, finally somebody has manufactured something even more worthless than a Rushmore bonus......
lol. you should buy one and leave that review))
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2006
- Location
- USA
those reviews cracked me up.
Amazon likes to use remarketing, now I'm going to see an ad for that slicer during my web browsing. Not to mention the emails from Amazon that say "hey james, are you looking for something in our Kitchen department"?
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2006
- Location
- Edmonton Canada
I stayed up WAY too long last night reading those reviews. My favorite was the superlong story from the woman who bought one and then it stole her identity. I was howling, I was afraid I was going to wake the neighbors.
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2008
- Location
- Ontario
George Takei felt it necessary to add his review of this item:
Old URL
I don't think it's the best of the bunch, have fun!
Old URL
I don't think it's the best of the bunch, have fun!
i had to add this
This one made me cry.... Veet - hair removal spray:
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...
This one made me cry.... Veet - hair removal spray:
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After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2010
- Location
- Mostly the Netherlands
Lmao!
No idea that reading ereviews on Amazon would make for such laughter
I found this one the funniest:
While the time and money savings are glaringly obvious, I want to underscore how much safer this is than conventional banana slicing methods. Before I bought the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, I sliced my bananas the same way as everyone else.
I started out like most beginners by using firecrackers and cherrybombs, but this created quite a mess and inevitably cost me my right index finger and thumb.
Next, I tried the lawnmower method (running a lawnmower sideways on the counter top). This worked well plus it gave my bananas that "fresh from the field" taste. Unfortunately, running my gas powered lawn mower in my poorly ventilated kitchen compelled me to believe the fingers on my left hand were bananas, so I sliced them off and ate them.
I woke up in daze a few days later. As I laid there covered in blood, banana paste, and grass clippings, I thought to myself, why is slicing bananas so damn hard?! There must be an easier way!! Using my remaining three fingers, I quickly went hunting online for a better solution.
I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer. While it appeared overly complicated, I was reassured by the outstanding reviews that this product was a must have. After using the lawn mower method to open the package, and carefully reading the 50 page manual,
I tested it out for the first time. WOW!!! This was exactly what my life was missing! It's been over two years and I haven't lost any more fingers! I'd give this product two thumbs up if I still had them!!!
No idea that reading ereviews on Amazon would make for such laughter
I found this one the funniest:
While the time and money savings are glaringly obvious, I want to underscore how much safer this is than conventional banana slicing methods. Before I bought the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, I sliced my bananas the same way as everyone else.
I started out like most beginners by using firecrackers and cherrybombs, but this created quite a mess and inevitably cost me my right index finger and thumb.
Next, I tried the lawnmower method (running a lawnmower sideways on the counter top). This worked well plus it gave my bananas that "fresh from the field" taste. Unfortunately, running my gas powered lawn mower in my poorly ventilated kitchen compelled me to believe the fingers on my left hand were bananas, so I sliced them off and ate them.
I woke up in daze a few days later. As I laid there covered in blood, banana paste, and grass clippings, I thought to myself, why is slicing bananas so damn hard?! There must be an easier way!! Using my remaining three fingers, I quickly went hunting online for a better solution.
I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer. While it appeared overly complicated, I was reassured by the outstanding reviews that this product was a must have. After using the lawn mower method to open the package, and carefully reading the 50 page manual,
I tested it out for the first time. WOW!!! This was exactly what my life was missing! It's been over two years and I haven't lost any more fingers! I'd give this product two thumbs up if I still had them!!!
pobeda
account suspended
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2008
- Location
- San Diego, CA
well its been a while
if you liked banana slicer, I am sure you gonna enjoy those as well:
if you liked banana slicer, I am sure you gonna enjoy those as well:
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- Joined
- Jun 19, 2009
- Location
- In my head
Dental floss can be used like piano wire I love it!
Gotta say genius marketing technique Amazon is using by allowing these kind of reviews. If you get bored hop over to Amazon and read the reviews of some of their products and be entertained by hours
Thanks Pobeda this one was my favorite:
I love it!Gotta say genius marketing technique Amazon is using by allowing these kind of reviews. If you get bored hop over to Amazon and read the reviews of some of their products and be entertained by hours
Thanks Pobeda this one was my favorite:
“Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don’t have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.
(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)”
(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)”
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2004
- Location
- Bexhill on sea, England
well its been a while
if you liked banana slicer, I am sure you gonna enjoy those as well:
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Really clever funny stuff - I love it!KK
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2013
- Location
- Dún Dealgan
Dental floss can be used like piano wire
Gotta say genius marketing technique Amazon is using by allowing these kind of reviews. If you get bored hop over to Amazon and read the reviews of some of their products and be entertained by hours
Thanks Pobeda this one was my favorite:
“Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don’t have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.
(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)”
Buahahahahaha that just made my morning....
:notworthy
