So I was a little depressed my oldest son decided to move out

[Realitybitez]

and ok, hes turning 18 so is not like hes a kid but sheesh its soooo HARD Oh hell, im drunken...

I dont really drink, cant afford 2 bad habits and gambling is my main one but I was struggling with this, letting one of kids go... so slipped up and decided to have a drink or two


Sorry! Probably posted this a zillion times just cant believe one of my kids is leaving the nest but yeah...

 

[SlotMonster]

I think it's not a big problem. I mean they are grown up, and need some kind of freedom, so they will take care of themselves, do all things themselves ect etc. I'm sure your son still loves you

 

[Tirilej]

He will still need you. He come home for food, money or other things. Mabye bring the laundry with him
They will always need us, and we will always be there for them.
I know I still need my mother so...

 

[Jasminebed]

It's a wonderful thing to be the parent to an adult. Our jobs as parents are to protect them and nuture them so they reach adulthood as people capable of leaving the nest and functioning in the world. Means you did your job well that he's now off on his own.

Without the day to day friction of living together, my relationship with my daughter improved so much after she left home. Helped my relationship with my dad back in the day too. You get to deal with each other more as peers, and they gain an amazing amount of respect and appreciation for all you did when they have to do it all themselves.

Now quick, change his bedroom into that media room you always wanted before he moves back in!

 

[slotjunkie]

I do understand how you feel.

When my son now 24 stop getting in the bed with me(late 17) watching movies or asking me to tell him stories of me and my sisters and other family members when we were growing up, I broke down and was sure he didn't love me anymore.
I think what you're feeling is natural and any mother that is close to her children(especially sons, which I only have) is going to have some type of emotion about it.
Sad because they are always our babies, anxiety for the feeling of loss and not being needed, worried for their safety, excited for their growth, etc..

We just have to know they are only growing up and branching out. And for me, it let me know that I did something right. It could be worst, like they are grown, grown and still at home asking what's for dinner...

I have always told mine "Go get your feet wet, dive in, take a swim, if/when you feel you are drowning, you know where help is."

Guess he was "drowning", cause he's back

I have made it where he(they) will always feel comfortable to come to me first when ever need be.

He will be back probably sooner than you know.

 

[slotjunkie]

It's a wonderful thing to be the parent to an adult. Our jobs as parents are to protect them and nuture them so they reach adulthood as people capable of leaving the nest and functioning in the world. Means you did your job well that he's now off on his own.

Without the day to day friction of living together, my relationship with my daughter improved so much after she left home. Helped my relationship with my dad back in the day too. You get to deal with each other more as peers, and they gain an amazing amount of respect and appreciation for all you did when they have to do it all themselves.

Now quick, change his bedroom into that media room you always wanted before he moves back in!

So funny you say this, because this is exactly what we did immediately.

Actually we took his room and incorporated it into our renovation for a Master Bedroom(which by the way is BEAUTIFUL) and he came back during construction...
So he actually got stuck in the office room sleeping on a klick-klack(fold out sofa bed) bed.
It is better than the streets, motel, or bouncing from house to house and it lets him know, though you can always come back home if you really need to, it is VERY temporary.

 

[ksech]

One of the toughest parts of being a parent! Both of mine left at the same time. Unfortunately, I didn't get their rooms converted into what I wanted to before they moved back with extras. My daughter came back with my grandson, a dog, and a cat. My son came back with 2 dogs and 3 cats.

And as someone else said, don't worry, they'll be back...laundry, a meal, just to hang out and talk. And most times, it strengthens the bonds between parent and child. So, not to worry, you're not alone, many parents here can give you a shoulder to lean on.

 

[Surasanji]

I remember it like it was yesterday!

I've actually found that my relationship with my parents only improved with the distance. And it was really hard to leave at first- I'm sure he'll be back to visit a lot in the next few years.

I know I did! The holidays were /really/ hard. Thanksgiving in particular, for me those first years.

Its still hard to be far from family during those times- but my life is amazing. I'm happy, and living where I want to live in the world, at least for the moment.

Moving out? The best thing I ever did. But I'm sure it was hard for my mother, too.

Now though she's one of my best friends!

It only gets easier from here on out. And I hope this is only the beginning of a much more beautiful chapter in both of your lives.

 

[silcnlayc]

So funny you say this, because this is exactly what we did immediately.

Actually we took his room and incorporated it into our renovation for a Master Bedroom(which by the way is BEAUTIFUL) and he came back during construction...
So he actually got stuck in the office room sleeping on a klick-klack(fold out sofa bed) bed.
It is better than the streets, motel, or bouncing from house to house and it lets him know, though you can always come back home if you really need to, it is VERY temporary.

So did we! OMG...how funny. Within 3 weeks of my son moving out (right after he graduated High School) I had the room gutted, painted and re-purposed and made it into my bedroom.

Donated all the stuff he left behind (gave him 2 months to get it in the garage) and what was left, I donated it. Great tax write off too! I reminded him that I was NOT a storage unit and he understood...it really is wonderful when you see your kids leave the nest. My youngest (the one that I took his bedroom as mine) just became a dad himself today. I have a new grandson as of 5:41 am est !

I was always taught by my mother and father (from the old country) that children are a gift from God to nurture, raise, love and then let go. Children do not belong to us, they belong to God and we are only the priviledged caretakers of them. I took that meaning to heart when I had my two boys. All through life I reminded them that this was MY house, MY rules, MY way and one day, they get the same opportunity to do it THEIR way, in THEIR house. I also reminded them throughout their growing years that they had 3 choices at the age of 18 (College and work, military,or move out and get a job). I would not support them past that age. When that day came for them both, it was so easy to watch them fly! Because they chose their own path, I was only their caretaker, I let them go their chosen ways. (My heart just about exploded with the love I had for them at that time)

Well, I will admit, I am extremely pleased at how my boys have turned out. Just as I turned out with my 8 siblings under the same rules, our children have too by remembering this one thing, you have to let go because you do not OWN them, they are yours temporarily and the pride you have in watching them turn into men is amazing!

My husband and I are on our 3rd leg of our journey through this life (empty nesters) and we are having a blast! We travel a lot, visit family all over the east coast and never have to worry anymore of a time frame. It really does get better as you age !

So embrace your freedom! Do what you have wanted to do that you wouldn't while you had kids at home..life really is amazing, and so are the kids we raised and let go.

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