Little Johnny strikes again

[BingoT]

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, That was good Sally , but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her Expired Image are so big she can only fasten eight.'
The teacher sat down and cried.

 

[GoWildGaming]

I liked that

 

[SlotMonster]

LOL, nice one!

 

[Seventh777]

Johnny at school again and today`s lesson is morals, and once again Johnny`s teacher is looking for some examples, looking around the classroom at the pupils raised hands and purposely overlooking Johnny she asks Sally, and Sally replies..

"Well miss, we were on a farm trip and one of my friends counted the eggs and said, there will be 14 chicks, the next time we visited the farm there were only 12 chicks".

To which the teacher replied....

"Well Sally, what is the moral of that story?".

Sally answered..

"Don`t count your chickens before they`ve hatched, meaning don't make plans based on uncertain events).

"Well done Sally", Teacher then looks for another pupil, this time picking Steven, "Okay Steven your turn".

"I was round my friends and his dog was asleep, I went to stroke him and he nearly bit me"

"Well Steven, what is the moral of that story?".

"Let sleeping dogs lay, do not instigate trouble, leave something alone if it might cause trouble".

"Well done Steven", Teacher then looks for another pupil, this time there is only one pupil with their hand raised, knowing she would regret it later she utters "Okay then Johnny your turn".

"A few nights ago my dad was in the pub miss when he over heard what someone was saying about him, and knocked him out".

"Okay Johnny, what is the moral of that story" Teacher hesitantly asked..

"Loose lips sink ships! miss", was Johnny`s reply.

To which teacher inquired, "And the meaning of that Johnny?"

And Johnny`s answer.."Don`t f*ck with my dad, when he`s pissed".

 

[GoWildGaming]

I also got one -

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ...just #$&#*&^# beautiful!