Jesus is watching.

[BingoT]

Jesus is watching.
One night a man breaks into a house and is in the middle of stealing the home entertainment centre, when out of nowhere he hears, 'Jesus is watching'.
This totally spooks him so he searches around with his torch.up in the corner he finds a birdcage with a parrot inside. Relieved, he says pretty Polly,' to which the parrot replies, Jesus is watching'. The thief asks the bird what his name is and the bird says, 'Moses'. The thief says what a silly name for a bird. The bird replies, 'you think that's funny, the rottweilers name is Jesus.'

 

[weesie]

I love it!! I laughed out loud on that one!

Thanks BingoT!

 

[dionysus]

A man has a parrot and day in, day out, all it ever says is 'Polly wants to fuck' (hereafter typed *uck to be nice lol).
The man is terribly embarrassed; lady friends come over and the bird constantly squawks 'Polly wants to *uck'. His great aunt nearly had a heart attack when she visited to hear 'Polly wants to *uck'. His minister had come for tea to hear 'Polly wants to *uck'.

'Oh my', said the minister. 'What a a naughty thing to teach a bird'.
'But I swear', says the man. 'I never taught it that. It picked it up and it's all it ever says no matter what I try to teach it otherwise.'
'Hmm', says the minister. 'Well, then, it's a very naughty bird. I have 2 parrots myself. But they are very good birds. They sit in their cage and all THEY do is pray. I tell you what. Why don't you let me take your parrot home with me for a few days. I'm certain my good parrots will have a positive effect on yours.'
The man, at wit's end, happily agrees, and sends the bird home with the minister.

The minster arrives home and places the naughty parrot on the table beside his two goodly parrots, closes the door and leaves them be.

The man's parrot sees the new goodly parrots and squawks 'Polly wants to *uck'.
One goodly parrot turns to the other goodly parrot in the cage and says 'See Gladys, I TOLD you if we prayed enough'.