- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Location
- Old bag lady with a laptop
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Gender
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You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.
For example...
1) Ziploc Bags-
They are Male, because they hold everything in,
but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers-
They are Female, because once turned off,
it takes a while to warm them up again.
It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) Tire-
Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) Hot Air Balloon-
Male, because, to get it to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under it,
and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges-
Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) Web Page-
Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) Subway-
Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
8) Hourglass-
Female, because over time,
the weight shifts to the bottom.
9) Hammer-
Male, because it hasn't changed much
over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around.
10) Remote Control-
Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male.
But consider this-it gives a man pleasure,
he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't
always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
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Some Things You Just Can't Explain
-------------------------
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened then?
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.
Man: Hmmm
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do?
Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...
Gender
-------------------------
You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.
For example...
1) Ziploc Bags-
They are Male, because they hold everything in,
but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers-
They are Female, because once turned off,
it takes a while to warm them up again.
It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) Tire-
Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) Hot Air Balloon-
Male, because, to get it to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under it,
and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges-
Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) Web Page-
Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) Subway-
Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
8) Hourglass-
Female, because over time,
the weight shifts to the bottom.
9) Hammer-
Male, because it hasn't changed much
over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around.
10) Remote Control-
Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male.
But consider this-it gives a man pleasure,
he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't
always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------
Some Things You Just Can't Explain
-------------------------
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened then?
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.
Man: Hmmm
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do?
Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...
