Don't be so harsh on yourself T. I've been off the cigs for almost 7 years now. And on a couple of occasions I had managed to get off them for a
month before finally cracking and going back on them. You're only human. And only someone who has smoked or still smokes can understand how tough it is to get off them for good.
I also know people who have gone back on the cigs after being off them for TWELVE YEARS. Now THAT (IMHO) is idiotic.
I would say this to you....if you can get off the cigs for a few months, then you have what it takes to give them up for good. The will, the desire, the
discipline. All you need is that final piece to complete your jigsaw. The sheer stubborn pig-headed bloodymindedness to declare...
"I WILL NOT BE BEATEN. YOU WILL NOT WIN!!"
Look at it this way....by going back on them after just a few months, you merely lost "one of the battles". Winning the WAR, however, is still
very much up for grabs. If you want it badly enough, you will emerge victorious.
And I probably don't need to tell you the rest of the benefits of getting off them for good, as you would already have experienced them during
those few months you were off them. But just in case you need reminding....
Food tasting better
Clothes/rooms in the house/breath not stinking like an ashtray
More money in your pocket
Better breathing
No blasted smokers cough when you wake up every morning
I hope to be on this forum long enough to one day read a thread by you with the title....
I finally gave them up
Best of luck T. And indeed to anyone else "trying to win the war"